A couple of years ago my home town of Datchet flooded
We're gonna swim to one song and one song only
So it rained so hard, my hometown is underwater Saw a salmon and I caught 'er
At that rate I trusted that we'd see Busted Looking for the granddaughter
Rained so hard Datchet crazy At least we're dry compared to Wraysbury
Barbers giving wet cuts for free So my hair can still be wavy
Rained so hard, Datchet wet Significantly more than we're supposed to get
Rained so hard, there's hyperbole From News reporters certainly
The river's all of Biblical proportion Take your pick, Kishon, Tygris, Jordan, Gen[esis] 6
Rained so hard, the trains stopped Not that that really says a lot
Better clear before London nears before Waterloo becomes waterlogged
Rained so hard, Politics Cameron, Ed and Nige and Nick
In rain shoes, ascertain who cares and whose aim is campaign news
Rained so hard, no high street, whole place under 2 feet
New agent eshews waders, dry cleaners lose USP
Rained so hard, sitch be grave, who town taking big waves
Not distressed though, by less TESCO, enough swans to eat for days
So it rained so hard, my hometown is underwater Datchet cray, Datchet cray, Datchet cray
So it rained so hard, my hometown is underwater Datchet cray, Datchet cray, Datchet cray
Have the Environment Agency tried to call?
Their lack of useful correspondence gets my gall
Come and meet me in the bathroom stall When the water starts flowing through the wall
Rained so hard Datchet cray (Datchet bay) Aint it Jay?
Rained so hard What she order?
Is fish okay?
Rained so hard Your hips are cold?
Then don't swim Rained so hard
Such flooding is unlikely to ever take place in our lives again
Alex mate, grab that oar, Avoid that pitch, the grass is poor
All the sports are stuck in doors, I'm just saying
Prince William's got it wrong if you want to know
Seems to me he learned the wrong type of polo Are the floods getting bigger?
Will the town be disfigured?
Will we be cleaning with vigour pre-Victorian villas?
Doctors say I'm the illest Cos I've been drinking the river
Got my homies in Datchet And they're building flotillas
I don't even know what that means.
I could be wrong but I believe it is an old old ship used during the Civil War era
So it rained so hard, my hometown is underwater
I am now watching the phone Don't let it get into my home
Don't let it get into my home Don't let it get into my home
We've had get supplies in The local drains are rising
I got that blocked ditched by my home Do you know how many blocked ditches I own?
Don't let it get into my home Don't let it get into my home
Don't let it get into my home Don't let it get into my home
I feel I'm in de Nile, being wet, or just conflicted
Should I lift my living standards before my assets become liquid?
So I'm sat here watching the phone Don't let it get into my home
Don't let it get into my home It's definitely in my home
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