Youtube daily report Apr 27 2017

2017 Volkswagen Golf GTI spec confirmed, Golf R 4.8s 0-100

Volkswagen Australia has revealed that the forthcoming Golf R will be its quickest model yet thanks to a new seven-speed DSG dual-clutch automatic transmission and an increased power output.

Set to roll into local showrooms alongside the updated Golf GTI in mid-August this year, the R continues to employ a 20-litre turbocharged four-cylinder petrol engine, but it now benefits from a 7kW boost in power to 213kW whilst torque remains steady at 380Nm.

Unfortunately, the alleged hot-weather conditions Down Under continue to prevent the local arm from importing the full-fat 228kW/400Nm version of the all-wheel drive R that is sold in Europe.

Nevertheless, the Aussie R will knock down the dash from 0-100km/h in 4.8 seconds when paired with the DSG transmission. A six-speed manual gearbox remains an option for purists, but its local performance figures are currently unknown.

Standard equipment added to the five-door hot hatch in this refresh includes a 9. 2-inch touchscreen multimedia system, gesture and voice control, 12.

3-inch digital instrument panel, electric drivers seat with memory function and lumbar adjustment, 19-inch Spielberg alloy wheels and power folding door mirrors with memory function.

A driver assistance package – which includes adaptive cruise control, lane keeping assistant and blind spot detection – and panoramic sunroof are the only two options.

Meanwhile, the aforementioned GTI has also been facelifted and features a detuned version of the Rs engine, which instead produces 169kW/350Nm – a 7kW improvement over the preceding model.

These outputs match those of the outgoing GTI Performance. This vehicle has received a power bump overseas to 180kW, but it has not been confirmed yet for Australia.

Either a six-speed DSG or manual can be fitted with the GTI, while its included kit now extends to an 80-inch touchscreen multimedia system, 18-inch Milton Keynes alloy wheels and LED headlights with dynamic cornering functionality.

Three options packages – Infotainment, Driver Assistance and Luxury – are available with the GTI, but inclusions have not been detailed at this time.

The German carmaker has also confirmed it will add an oil-burning alternative to the Golf Wagon with the 110TDI Highline to join the range when non-performance models go on-sale in early July.

It will be powered by a 110kW/340Nm 20-litre turbo-diesel four and be paired exclusively with a seven-speed DSG.

Equipment levels will include leather upholstery, electric heated front seats with drivers memory function, keyless entry and start, 17-inch Karlskoga alloy wheels, chrome interior and exterior highlights, LED headlights and panoramic sunroof. Driver assistance and multimedia packages will be available optionally.

Pricing for all variants in the Golf 7. 5 line-up will be released early next month.

For more infomation >> 2017 Volkswagen Golf GTI spec confirmed, Golf R 4.8s 0-100 - Duration: 5:10.

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Obesity Related Glomerulopathy, Kidney Disease 2 : Patient`s Symptoms - Duration: 1:53.

For more infomation >> Obesity Related Glomerulopathy, Kidney Disease 2 : Patient`s Symptoms - Duration: 1:53.

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Happy Mother's Day! Cooking Mama Let's Cook - Duration: 0:34.

For more infomation >> Happy Mother's Day! Cooking Mama Let's Cook - Duration: 0:34.

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Vaporisateur Da Vinci IQ. Vidéo du produit - Duration: 7:27.

Today we're introducing the new DaVinci IQ vaporizer.

It is available in 4 colours: stealth, gunmetal, copper and blue.

For every taste.

This is the box of the DaVinci IQ. Let's unbox it now

and see that we have the vaporizer here at the top,

the instructions manual here, a sticker and 3 boxes. One, two, three...

Let's see what we have in the larger box, which says "Accessories".

We have a power cable, a battery charger,

and a miniUSB - USB cable to connect the device

a computer or any other power source.

What else? We have a DaVinci keychain

with a small tool inside it to detach

some of the parts of the vaporizer.

We also have a chimney brush to clean the chamber

and some alcohol wipes to clean other parts.

2nd box. This is curious, because we have another keychain here

but this time with a small carry can

to store some herb to vaporize later on.

The third box contains - as we'll see now - an extra mouthpiece,

a bit more similar to those found in other DaVinci vaporizers.

Let's take a look at the chamber, which is on the lower part of the device.

Open it and check that it is quite large.

It has a ball here that will press the herb

when the chamber is closed, leaving it ready to vape.

The mouthpiece is on the upper part,

as well as the flavor chamber, which can be removed for cleaning.

We also have the battery compartment here.

The battery can be removed and replaced

for a fully charged one if necessary.

As we've seen before, the mouthpiece is also removable.

You can use either the flat mouthpiece

or the one with a small adapter, just by doing like this.

Insert the flavor chamber back and the device is ready to work.

Let's fill the chamber now.

Open the lower compartment, grab some dried herb,

grind it a little bit and insert it into the chamber.

Close it and it's ready to use.

Turn on the vaping device by pressing

the upper button 5 times. One, two, three, four, five.

The display here shows the battery level

and the current vaporizer temperature.

Set the desired vaping temperature with the up and down buttons.

We'll set it to 185ºC.

Once the set temperature is reached

the device will vibrate and we can start vaping.

We can also enter the Program mode.

There are 4 pre-sets, four different programs that we'll see later

with the App. To switch between the Manual and Program mode,

simply press the On/Off buton and we already have the pre-sets.

Here, 2 small squares mean pre-set 2, press the down button and

we have pre-set 1, and up again until we find our desired program.

In this case, when it reaches pre-set 4 it will vibrate.

Let's see now how the App works. It is available to download for both

Android and IOS devices, it's called IQ DaVinci and it's quite simple.

We have a menu on the upper left corner

with different submenus that we'll see now.

First one is Dashboard, which is the main page

of the current status of the vaporizer.

We have a graph with temperatures and time,

and a white line graph which shows

the current temperature of the device.

You can lower the temperature with these buttons: target (red)

is slowly going down while temperature tries to reach it... great.

To raise it we do the same.

We'll program now a vaping temperature,

which we can see raising in the graph , to 185°C.

Once this temperature is reached,

your phone will make a sound to indicate that it is ready to use... perfect.

Let's see now the Setting menu, which allows us to control more things.

First, the IQ vibration system:

we can deactivate it or activate the Stealth mode,

which will lower the intensity of the LEDs

if you want a darker environment.

Enter the App now. We can either activate or deactivate it,

and select the temperature mode.

Now we have the C degree in red, which means

we're using Celsius degrees. If we go back to the Dashboard,

we'll now see the Target and Temp in Fahrenheit,

but we prefer Celsius, so we'll set it.

Check the Dashboard, correct, 185ºC.

What else do we have?

We can enter the Pre-set or Smart Path menu.

We have now 4 different pre-sets (10 minutes each)

to control the vaping temperature during this period of time.

For example, we have a pre-set called "Lemon"

to vape our Lemon herb.

Simply go to Edit Path and set the desired temperature with the buttons.

For example, minute 1 at 177ºC...we'll set now 190ºC for minute 6...

and finally we'll end our vaping session at 230ºC.

Just by moving it we get the time/temperature graph of our vaporizer.

Now, save the pre-set

and we already have one of the 4 pre-sets.

These pre-sets can be activated later on from the vaping device,

or directly through the App.

Now we only have to enjoy it !!

For more infomation >> Vaporisateur Da Vinci IQ. Vidéo du produit - Duration: 7:27.

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Paris Histoire : le messie breton - Duration: 2:02.

For more infomation >> Paris Histoire : le messie breton - Duration: 2:02.

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Ein fahrendes Luxushotel auf dem Meer | Deutsch lernen mit Videos - Duration: 3:42.

For more infomation >> Ein fahrendes Luxushotel auf dem Meer | Deutsch lernen mit Videos - Duration: 3:42.

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VIDEOS de Peppa Pig en Español ►Tránsito Vehicular - Capitulos Completos - Duration: 4:45.

For more infomation >> VIDEOS de Peppa Pig en Español ►Tránsito Vehicular - Capitulos Completos - Duration: 4:45.

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Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with Peppa Pig & Rainbow Play Doh Twinkle Star Magical Adventure - Duration: 11:31.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with Peppa Pig & Rainbow Play Doh Twinkle Star

For more infomation >> Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with Peppa Pig & Rainbow Play Doh Twinkle Star Magical Adventure - Duration: 11:31.

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Letní klobouk na zahradu/ šijeme klobouk se širokou krempou/sun hat sewing - Duration: 4:27.

For more infomation >> Letní klobouk na zahradu/ šijeme klobouk se širokou krempou/sun hat sewing - Duration: 4:27.

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Rubenstein Scholars; 3-D Printed Knee Parts: The Week at Duke in 60 Seconds - Duration: 1:00.

Welcome to the week at Duke in 60 seconds.

Alumnus and Trustee David Rubenstein has helped endow Duke's first-generation scholarship

program with a $20 million gift.

Students in the David M. Rubenstein Scholars Program will receive not only a loan-free

four-year scholarship, but also faculty and peer mentoring.

Public Radio International featured Duke molecular biologist Raphael Valdivia in last week's

100 Days, 100 Questions series.

He spoke about drawing immigrant scientists to the U.S. Hear the whole piece in Duke's

"Glad You Asked" podcast.

A cartilage-mimicking material created by Duke researchers may one day allow surgeons

to 3-D print replacement knee menisci.

To test the material, scientists used a $300 printer and a model knee.

Finally, the Duke Farmers Market is now open through the summer outside of the Trent Semans

Center for Health Education.

For more Duke news every day, visit Duke Today.

For more infomation >> Rubenstein Scholars; 3-D Printed Knee Parts: The Week at Duke in 60 Seconds - Duration: 1:00.

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The Big Story - Dans les coulisses de l'acquisition d'Airgas par Air Liquide - Duration: 30:17.

For more infomation >> The Big Story - Dans les coulisses de l'acquisition d'Airgas par Air Liquide - Duration: 30:17.

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Kia cee'd Sportswagon 1.6 GDI COMFORT PACK ZEER LUXE , NETTE EN RUIME STATIONCAR, - Duration: 1:01.

For more infomation >> Kia cee'd Sportswagon 1.6 GDI COMFORT PACK ZEER LUXE , NETTE EN RUIME STATIONCAR, - Duration: 1:01.

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The Right Choice - Duration: 1:09.

- Some guys like using condoms.

Other guys don't.

- If you don't like using condoms all the time,

then PrEP may be right for you.

- A daily PrEP regimen can prevent

HIV negative guys from getting infected.

- But what PrEP can't do is protect you

from any other STDs.

- Syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia are all treatable,

but can still make you pretty sick if left untreated.

- These days, STDs are all on the rise,

and rates of infection are highest among gay men.

- If you're positive, becoming undetectable

by taking daily meds and getting checked routinely

are ways to make it much less likely

to give it to someone else.

- Condoms are still the best way to prevent STDs.

- Get educated.

- Ask questions.

- Stay informed.

- And make the choice that's right for you.

- And make the choice that's right for you.

- Make the choice that's right for you.

- Because ultimately, peace of mind

and feeling good are what sex is all about.

For more infomation >> The Right Choice - Duration: 1:09.

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SenseCube - Appel à projet #6 : Pourquoi avoir choisi le SenseCube ? - Duration: 0:44.

For more infomation >> SenseCube - Appel à projet #6 : Pourquoi avoir choisi le SenseCube ? - Duration: 0:44.

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Le coeur éléphant in New-Zealand - The beginning - Duration: 1:40.

For more infomation >> Le coeur éléphant in New-Zealand - The beginning - Duration: 1:40.

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DIY Speech Bubble Dry Erase Board | Whiteboard | Curly Made - Duration: 5:27.

Olá everyone I'm Daniela and today's DIY

is kind of a last-minute idea, I tried to

make this with whatever I had in hand

and actually add some trouble with the

supplies I will explain in the video

what happened, but i really like how it

came out and I hope you liked it too

don't forget that the supplies are

listed in the description box below and

let's get started

to make this whiteboard I've decided to use cardboard as a base

mine is from a box

make sure it has

a good thickness, strong enough not to

bend but that you can still cut it

draw the shape of the speech bubble

you can't really see it but I've sketched the

shape with a pencil before tracing again

with the marker

to cut it I used an

x-acto knife, I just found it easier to

cut then using the scissors since the

cardboard is quite thick

once that was cut the plan was to cover

it with white contact paper and just

write directly on top of that with the

dry erase marker but once I tested it to

see if the marker worked the pain did not

come off completely neither did with the

clear contact paper

so then I went

around the house to find a clear plastic

bag that I could cover the board with

the solution that I found was this I

just traced and cut the shape of the

speech bubble

then added glue just to

the edges of the cardboard and placed the

plastic steal with the backing on top of that

next I did the same for the clear

plastic bag I traced the shape, cut it and

glued it to the edges of the cardboard

for the sides I used black electrical tape

I cut it into small sections and taped it

to the edges of the whole board

this will secure everything in place and hide the glue

once the whole thing was done

I turned it around and since the tape was

not sticking so well to the cardboard

I just held it with clear tape all around

to finish off I attached a frame holding

thing to the back I think this is called

a D-ring, so I can hang it later and also

a magnet to both the board and the pen

just make sure the magnet is strong

enough so the pen doesn't fall once you

hang the board

let it dry overnight and

it's ready to use

thank you so much for watching if you

have any doubts about the process or

the materials for this whiteboard leave

them below if you enjoyed this video and

want to support my channel please give

it a thumbs up, subscribe and turn on the

notifications so you don't miss any of

my videos and I'll talk to you next time

bye

For more infomation >> DIY Speech Bubble Dry Erase Board | Whiteboard | Curly Made - Duration: 5:27.

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Vaporisateur Da Vinci IQ. Vidéo du produit - Duration: 7:27.

Today we're introducing the new DaVinci IQ vaporizer.

It is available in 4 colours: stealth, gunmetal, copper and blue.

For every taste.

This is the box of the DaVinci IQ. Let's unbox it now

and see that we have the vaporizer here at the top,

the instructions manual here, a sticker and 3 boxes. One, two, three...

Let's see what we have in the larger box, which says "Accessories".

We have a power cable, a battery charger,

and a miniUSB - USB cable to connect the device

a computer or any other power source.

What else? We have a DaVinci keychain

with a small tool inside it to detach

some of the parts of the vaporizer.

We also have a chimney brush to clean the chamber

and some alcohol wipes to clean other parts.

2nd box. This is curious, because we have another keychain here

but this time with a small carry can

to store some herb to vaporize later on.

The third box contains - as we'll see now - an extra mouthpiece,

a bit more similar to those found in other DaVinci vaporizers.

Let's take a look at the chamber, which is on the lower part of the device.

Open it and check that it is quite large.

It has a ball here that will press the herb

when the chamber is closed, leaving it ready to vape.

The mouthpiece is on the upper part,

as well as the flavor chamber, which can be removed for cleaning.

We also have the battery compartment here.

The battery can be removed and replaced

for a fully charged one if necessary.

As we've seen before, the mouthpiece is also removable.

You can use either the flat mouthpiece

or the one with a small adapter, just by doing like this.

Insert the flavor chamber back and the device is ready to work.

Let's fill the chamber now.

Open the lower compartment, grab some dried herb,

grind it a little bit and insert it into the chamber.

Close it and it's ready to use.

Turn on the vaping device by pressing

the upper button 5 times. One, two, three, four, five.

The display here shows the battery level

and the current vaporizer temperature.

Set the desired vaping temperature with the up and down buttons.

We'll set it to 185ºC.

Once the set temperature is reached

the device will vibrate and we can start vaping.

We can also enter the Program mode.

There are 4 pre-sets, four different programs that we'll see later

with the App. To switch between the Manual and Program mode,

simply press the On/Off buton and we already have the pre-sets.

Here, 2 small squares mean pre-set 2, press the down button and

we have pre-set 1, and up again until we find our desired program.

In this case, when it reaches pre-set 4 it will vibrate.

Let's see now how the App works. It is available to download for both

Android and IOS devices, it's called IQ DaVinci and it's quite simple.

We have a menu on the upper left corner

with different submenus that we'll see now.

First one is Dashboard, which is the main page

of the current status of the vaporizer.

We have a graph with temperatures and time,

and a white line graph which shows

the current temperature of the device.

You can lower the temperature with these buttons: target (red)

is slowly going down while temperature tries to reach it... great.

To raise it we do the same.

We'll program now a vaping temperature,

which we can see raising in the graph , to 185°C.

Once this temperature is reached,

your phone will make a sound to indicate that it is ready to use... perfect.

Let's see now the Setting menu, which allows us to control more things.

First, the IQ vibration system:

we can deactivate it or activate the Stealth mode,

which will lower the intensity of the LEDs

if you want a darker environment.

Enter the App now. We can either activate or deactivate it,

and select the temperature mode.

Now we have the C degree in red, which means

we're using Celsius degrees. If we go back to the Dashboard,

we'll now see the Target and Temp in Fahrenheit,

but we prefer Celsius, so we'll set it.

Check the Dashboard, correct, 185ºC.

What else do we have?

We can enter the Pre-set or Smart Path menu.

We have now 4 different pre-sets (10 minutes each)

to control the vaping temperature during this period of time.

For example, we have a pre-set called "Lemon"

to vape our Lemon herb.

Simply go to Edit Path and set the desired temperature with the buttons.

For example, minute 1 at 177ºC...we'll set now 190ºC for minute 6...

and finally we'll end our vaping session at 230ºC.

Just by moving it we get the time/temperature graph of our vaporizer.

Now, save the pre-set

and we already have one of the 4 pre-sets.

These pre-sets can be activated later on from the vaping device,

or directly through the App.

Now we only have to enjoy it !!

For more infomation >> Vaporisateur Da Vinci IQ. Vidéo du produit - Duration: 7:27.

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🎨 How To Paint Old Furniture with Furniture Paint | DIY ROOM DECOR - Duration: 1:55.

Hi loves Today I'm going to show you how to transform

an old furniture with furniture paint

For this you'll need a tray

paintbrush and furniture paint

I got this one from the store Action

Before I started I taped the glass as I didn't want to paint it

Then I painted from the top to the sides and bottom

I saturated the brush with paint so I could easily paint large strokes.

I did this stroke by stroke to get a uniform look

I painted a second layer when I finished and then let it dry

The cool thing about this paint is I didn't need a base as the paint covers very well

And this is the final look

Hope you enjoyed this easy home decor video.

Like this video if you did and subscribe for more videos.

And tune in next week to see how you can make this colorful candle center piece

Thank you so much for watching and see you next week!

For more infomation >> 🎨 How To Paint Old Furniture with Furniture Paint | DIY ROOM DECOR - Duration: 1:55.

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Paris Histoire : un président au septième ciel - Duration: 1:15.

For more infomation >> Paris Histoire : un président au septième ciel - Duration: 1:15.

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"Ne vous trompez jamais de colère" Jean-Guy Talamoni - discours 27/04/17 - Duration: 5:48.

For more infomation >> "Ne vous trompez jamais de colère" Jean-Guy Talamoni - discours 27/04/17 - Duration: 5:48.

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Massive Dessert Eat Off ! | 6000 CALORIES in 30 MINUTES - Duration: 8:31.

Hey guys, it is Big Zaf, hope you're fine!

So today, it is a chill challenge. All about sugar!

A massive dessert eat off!

Not a problem if I don't finish,

we eat what we like!

Let's go !

The time, as always, I'm going to put it right there!

Still sealed!

So, what do we have here?!

A Boston Cream !

This is a white chocolate!

Nutella !

Cinnamon rolls from Ikea, First time for me!

Strawberry Cheesecake!

Blueberry!

I think this is chestnut!

That's done!

Daim Pie!

That's a lot of sugar!

That's a gift: For a coffee, they give you a muffin for free!

Nutella or melted chocolate … Pfoua!

So I am going to set a time limit,

Let say 30 minutes!

You probably notice that after that I am not very productive!

As you can guess,

I did'nt counted the calories, because I don't know what I am going to eat.

I guess it will be a lot of carbs, a lot of fat!

I think I will not take dessert for a long time!

Ha … I won't finish it …

So, it was fun.

I just have enough time to tell you bye…

Don't forget to like, share, comment and subscribe.

See you soon for an other video!

Peace !

Pff … Lot of sugar!

For more infomation >> Massive Dessert Eat Off ! | 6000 CALORIES in 30 MINUTES - Duration: 8:31.

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Oukitel C3 | Thes Unboxing GR+Eng Subs - Duration: 8:07.

Hello and welcome to another video by Thes Unboxing! I am John and behind the camera is Aliki

Today we are going to show you a phone

But before we start, don't forget to Subscribe and press the bell so you will get notifications

Today we are going to show you an Oukitel C3 Let's check what's inside the box

This is the Oukitel C3 with an orange box like last time

If anyone wants to see another Oukitel, the K4000 pro to be specific, you can find a link in the description

Let's check out the box

5-inch screen, android 6.0 Marshmallow, 8GB ROM, 1GB RAM

It has 2G/3G, it doesn't have 4G

It has a 3D diamond design

It supports gravity sensor, proximity sensor, light sensor And it is a dual sim, dual stand by

Before we open the box, we can see here it comes in white, black, clear blue, black gold

(no idea what colour that is, I suppose gold), dark blue, white gold....

I predict something with white and gold

Here we have the phone

A Micro-USB cable

A European type charger which looks like most chargers, but this one is made by Oukitel

and it charges at 0.5A

A quick start guide

Which is in English, German, Italian, a lot of languages except Greek

We weren't expecting Greek anyway

Let's check the phone

As you can see it looks like a diamond, I don't know if you can see on the camera

When I saw it on a picture I didn't like it but now that I hold it in my hands I think it's an ok design, I don't mind it

On the back, we can see the camera 8MP, a LED flash

A bit lower we can see the speaker

The logo from Oukitel as well as the CE number and the site of Oukitel

The CE number means that it complies with the European standards

On the top, we can see the jack for our hands-free and the Micro-USB slot

On the bottom, there is a microphone

On the left side, it has nothing but on the right side it has the volume and power buttons

On the front, it has a camera which is 0.3MP, the speaker and here I suppose this is the light sensor

And on the lower part there are 3 touch screen buttons

Let's open it

After we open it we can see the battery which is at 2000mAh

2 sim cards and a Micro SD at the same time

With this battery, 2000mAh, Oukitel promises 2-3 days standby time

We don't know how long it will last

Let's see how it works

The screen of the phone is bright enough

It has a skin on top that looks a lot like stock Android, like every other Oukitel

With a 5-inch HD screen

It has the Mediatech 6580 CPU, which is a 4 core CPU, clocked at 1.3gHz

With 1GB RAM and 8GB ROM as we've said before

The main camera, at the rear, is 8MP whilst the front facing camera is 2MP

We've read different specs on the site

It has the Android 6.0 Marshmallow installed

It benched a score of 22000 on AnTuTu

AnTuTu Is a program that benchmarks the power of the phone

The score isn't enough to grade the phone

But it isn't a very expensive phone so we can compare it with other phones

It's a cheap phone you can get as a second phone or for someone who doesn't use phones that much

Let's check the camera

Here is our helper to take a picture of

From what I can see, the photo looks nice as we have a lot of lighting

You know this channel has very nice lighting

Here the photo looks very nice and I can say that the camera is 8mp

But in this case, there isn't enough lighting because it increases the ISO, low light performance is very weak

But if there is good lighting the photos come out very nice

You can find a link bellow to see the photos

The phone has Bluetooth, GPS, FM Radio

I think it's a nice and cheap phone

It has a helper on the side here as well

This was the oukitel c3

Very attractive design and sturdy

Looks very nice I think it will last a while

I am satisfied with Oukitel

We thank Lina for lending us the phone

If you liked the video don't forget to Like, Share and Subscribe

And we are going to see you in the next video See you!!

For more infomation >> Oukitel C3 | Thes Unboxing GR+Eng Subs - Duration: 8:07.

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Come decorare i portaspezie - Duration: 4:23.

For more infomation >> Come decorare i portaspezie - Duration: 4:23.

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The Most Hilarious Obituaries Of All Time - Duration: 4:29.

For the majority of us, death is a sad event that ushers in months of mourning.

Others, however, take a more lighthearted approach to the inevitable.

You can choose to go the route of bumming everyone out about what they've lost with

your departure from this world, or you could find a way to leave everyone you love with

one last laugh.

"Goodnight, sweet prince."

Obituaries usually list a person's achievements with some sort of noble approach that skirts

over your less fine moments.

But they're usually not very fun to read for anyone outside of the deceased's inner circle,

and even those people are probably just scanning to make sure they got a mention in the thing

anyway.

Every once in awhile, though, people with one foot in the grave manage to put together

something inspired before they kick that bucket.

"I want to be buried at sea.

It looks like fun!"

"Define 'fun.'"

"C'mon, you'll make a day of it."

Let's take a look at some of the most hilarious obituaries we've ever read.

One last confession

As he wrote in his own obituary for the Salt Lake Tribune, Val Paterson's life motto was

"Anything for a laugh."

And that includes posthumous confessions of crimes no one ever needed to know about.

Turns out, Patterson was a downright thief -- only his ploys weren't all about diamonds

or rare paintings.

He wrote, "As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn

back in June, 1971.

I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest.

Also, I really am NOT a Ph.D." In fact, Mr. Patterson never actually graduated college.

Instead, it was a clerical error which awarded him with not only a college diploma, but an

unearned Ph.D.

Kinda makes you wonder about all the fake nerds lurking around the world, doesn't it?

"Now that you point it out…"

"Are you kidding me?"

Oh, and that's not all.

Just to spite a "mean park ranger," the man once rolled rocks on top of a geyser to be

a jerk and managed to get banned from both Disneyland and SeaWorld.

Now, that's a life story worth reading about.

Now we're just sad 'cause he's not around to tell us more.

The coffin quarterback

Ohio native Scott E. Entsminger spent his life cheering for the Cleveland Browns, and

like many of his fellow fans, he has enjoyed a lot of disappointment as a result of that

allegiance.

"Just saying it out loud feels dirty."

So when he was nearing the red zone in his own time on the field, he decided to pull

out a trick play against his own squad.

Before Entsminger's death in 2013, the Browns had endured a solid losing streak for decades,

with one random good season plopped in every 7 years or so.

So, this man's final wish was to have six players from the Cleveland Browns act as pallbearers

for him on the day of his funeral, so, in his words "the Browns [could] let him down

one last time."

That deserves a targeting penalty for sure.

Of course, the Browns did their worst to shame him right back by offering his widow a lousy

jersey for all their troubles.

The Joker

There are few people who have had the privilege of playing the role of Batman, but how many

real people are known to have been killed by Batman?

For one, there's Stephen Merrill.

His obituary lists cause of death as an uppercut from Batman.

First of all, if this were true, we'd imagine he'd be totally okay with it, as he was apparently

a huge fan of America's beloved fictional superheroes.

That detail was really just some stand-in information that his friends and family provided

because they initially didn't know what the cause of death was, but what a way to go.

"Don't get worried about that!

Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say.

It could say, 'Ross Geller: Good at marriage.'"

Mine's gonna say "Phoebe Buffay: buried alive."

Not only did those he left behind color in his obituary by throwing in Batman, but they

carried on the theme to the funeral service.

Those who attended wore superhero tees, played soundtracks from his favorite superhero movies,

and even provided him with a flower arrangement made to look like Captain America's shield.

If you want to die the cool way, you've got Stephen Merrill to look for for inspiration.

Keeping it simple

If there were a prize for the most economic use of an obituary word count, Fargo, North

Dakota native Doug Legler would definitely win it.

"Umm, he just, he came up with it and said all I want is, 'Doug died.'"

That is it.

That is literally all that this man wanted in his obituary.

So why go to the trouble of having two words printed at all?

It seems that during his lifetime, Doug had a habit of reading obituaries in the paper.

He also had a habit of criticizing each and every obit he read.

Since he was a man so concerned about the obituaries of strangers during his lifetime,

he wanted to give no one the ability to judge him after death.

"That's a genius move."

"Thank you."

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