actually it's just we're just recording
Oh
my name is Lisa Laughman and I work across the street in the Employee Assistance
Program which is also the office for the Health4U Program. I work in both programs. I created a second job
but I forgot to give myself a second paycheck, I don't recommend that. In my role as an emotional wellness consultant I get to
spend time talking with people about issues that we typically talk about in
counseling settings but get to come out to places to talk about it in a
more educational role. So I'm super grateful to be here today with two of my three
Co planning partners...this whole Impostor Syndrome event that happened last week a
few weeks ago um was created because the folks who put together the academic
Women's Forum we're thinking about what topics we wanted to do for the upcoming
year and it's been kind of consistent that this is something that we needed to talk about, and Matt actually
provided awesome leadership to to get a nationally recognized speaker to come to
campus. That same group when we were talking about the event and people
started to register... I guess it was primarily my voice that started with
like if we have a day where people would get to hear about this... some of us when
we've had impostor syndrome for a long time... some of us may just be hearing the
first time, and I remember when I first heard them it was kind of a startling
moment like it's so described when my experience had been which had been
unnamed for so long that it really sort of shook me and I said if we're gonna
have a day where people get to maybe understand that that's something that's
happening for them we should probably provide some kind of follow-up class and
so we put together in this four week class which is designed to be a follow-up to
Dr. young physicist curious with people in our company viewer engaged in Dr.
Young's visit one way or another. So okay so the assumption that it's something
that most people will have been at an event... we didn't really advertise this
class very many other ways so I am operating with the assumption that
people had we're at one of the three sessions that we had we had close to 500
people all said have gone throughout the day attend events on campus that were
that Dr. Young facilitated. I'm gonna do a little bit of an intro in
case you're brand new you've heard about it some other way anyone to know what
the emphasis for the class is really kind of on so some ways to break free of
it. There are been times in my life when I understood enough about how I got to, how
I got to a place where I could tell you what what I was feeling and how
that happened in my childhood but that didn't necessarily help me know how to
transcend it. So we wanted the class to be start of learning to recognize how to
break free from from this so but to go back but do I think Lydia and Matt and Cindi from the Academic Advancement Network, Matt from
graduate student life and wellness program for being partners with us on
this but I do want the learning objectives to be to go ahead and define
it what is it whether why we talked about here do a little bit of that today
and then also one of the things that matters to me
most about this is that for more of us to be willing to say this is a pattern
of thought I get into sometimes and it impacts me it's part of my story when we
don't let people know that we're experiencing something they can't help
us they can't be there and be supportive of us the other thing that happens is
there are things that a great many of us experience but because there's shame
around it and nobody wants to let anybody know that it's happening we
don't say it out loud and then people who are having it don't know how common
it is and really destructive things can happen when then pattern happens I think
the biggest example that for me is that most people don't know that 1 into 3
that is 50% of people have had a period of time period in their lifetime of up
to two weeks where they seriously considered taking their own life that
numbers talking to a lot people have you don't realize that many people have that
experience if you're a person having that experience and you don't realize
it's that common you might think there's really something wrong as opposed to
you're having a pretty normal I think 50% it's pretty normal then we can
understand that this happens to a lot of people and people have found a way to
navigate it they'll be less at risk if it's happening to them right now
I think impostor syndrome is the same way some of my absolute favorite people
on campus I have this pattern of thinking that infects them I really felt
awesome at the faculty and staff lunch because in the room where some of my
favorite people on campus right and they're there because they also have
this you're my people and we want to like be able to just be more open about
that when we're able to if we can't do that in a professional big setting we
can do that with a couple of people as dr. Renee Brown who's one of my teachers
says we can share with people who earned the right to hear our story meaning that
if I tell you this piece of my story and you're going to keep that in a in a safe
and trusted position with you and then I can work I can have some people to help
me work through it you'll notice later in all of them three ways that I'm
presenting that people have talked about formulas for breaking free from the
imposter syndrome talking about it is on all three it isn't the one piece
similar in all three so we want to work together that's what the academic
Women's Forum Julie about building a community of caring the three values
statements for the academic Women's Forum our support connectedness
powerfully because they're her favorite or its own plan and that's what that's
all been about is creating care of communities if you want to do that as
more and more people are willing to like share with people who are working with
that this is something and then I really like my take on it's gonna be I'm not an
epidemic on the clinician and an a resilience chief trainer so I really
want folks to see how this belief structure operates and then as is true
for many unhelpful thoughts thought habits that we get into the way we've
been taught to try to overcome it actually maintains and similarly to like
anxiety like the ways in which we try to make ourself a happy anxious perpetuated
anxiety and exacerbated similarly you cannot make yourself fall asleep like
the harder you struggle with sleeplessness be more likely you are to
have insomnia it's a fascinates me that insomnia
impacts Americans more than people from different places and I think that's
partly because we try to like overpower insomnia we try to like you know be
independent and conquer it's on you if you can't get to relax and then sleep
comes to so I want to spend some time talking on that part of how it operates
and then probably maintain it so we can maybe stuff doing that and to do that
I'm going to introduce some principles and skills and concepts that can help
you break free from the emotional pain and this psychological confusion because
this whole holy how can actual confiden one moment and so not confident the next
the way we almost Gaslight ourselves in that process at the end of a
psychological struggle to it so you cannot win that struggle if you're
battling in your head I put these two different voices in your head the only
way to have that shift is to let's draw your energy from it
entirely in the moment and so we're going to introduce some skills variety
of theories intersect together I'll show you the big blueprint to today and so
those skills and the way of being with those thought habits will start to help
you shop in the imposter syndrome thoughts story I'm going to put that up
there right now there's a whole slide later that says imposter syndrome versus
posture plot store right so I don't see it as a syndrome that somebody has to
have her life I see it as we came into the world
I don't believe if we went down to the sparrow nursery right now and could pull
the tapes out of baby's head and read what's going on in their minds I don't
think anybody's feeling like they're good not good enough to be in the
nursery and I don't feel like anyone's afraid that in any minute someone's
gonna find out they're not a good enough baby right this is not something we're
born with it's not something that's you know in our brain chemistry it's a
pattern of thoughts that we that we develop when we get messages from people
in our world but in our families and in our communities and our schools from
teachers coaches all and then all the cultural messages that we end up with a
pattern of thought that tells us that we're not good enough in an imminent
people are going to find out we're not good enough and then that creates the
anxiety so what's interesting about the skills I want to present to you guys
over the next couple weeks is that it'll be helpful for the imposter syndrome
thoughts tour but if you could if you could like draw a map of your mental mom
you also shop in other thoughts stores that are helpful to your work for
academic success or to real life satisfaction we get caught up in
thoughts and shopmen thoughts stories that make us more difficult to be with
in relationship so the skill set one of the things i love about what i was
fortunate enough to learn in my own life is the skill set can help you interrupt
a lot of different things and i honestly I don't have time to do one thing at a
time and so this is in fact I would say imposter syndrome
something that wasn't even on my most pressing change list in my own
psychological and emotional healing journey partners I didn't think it was
changeable but it's interesting that as I just learned the skills that I was
learning mainly to do things I did panic the imposter syndrome story moved away
and therefore I was actually able to sleep last night and I did not get
physically sick just before we started which would have happened even 10 years
ago so so that's kind what we're about in the four weeks of time and I'm
absolutely clear that I'm just gonna be scratching to see this in these next few
40 minute sessions so big-picture overview just what is imposter syndrome
this is on this comes from the center for creative leadership on a note that
very young is noting in their bibliography so memory on this stall
this sentence as well the imposter syndrome is well researched well
documented phenomena that occurs in successful intelligent professionals
feel that they cannot deserve their accomplishments and that they have fixed
their way into success irony clever this syndrome can cause negative stress fear
anxiety loss of confidence and can eventually lead to derailment however by
inner overcoming inaccurate beliefs about yourself and your abilities you
can overcome the posture syndrome of the joy so some things that I noted in dr.
Young's book that I just want to be loved is this is the article that
started this conversation and I always feel like we want to under these two
women in there and hair research dr. Yan says that when somebody can't enjoyed
this article it was a life-changing thing for her I had the same experience
three years later when their post handed it to me and it's still a really
important read if you haven't ever this would be a starting point if you want to
take a look at the study was actually a hundred sixty two high achieving women
and in that they revealed this pervasive pattern dismissing accomplishments of
believing that success would disappear right so the therapist that gave this to
me described it as like wow openly so you have all these incredible
accomplishments including your standing here with two degrees and you've got
different accomplishments friends it might be joke that I wasn't homeless on
to our hosting ports which is just 20 now to talk about foot but successful
and in a lot of different ways but I still felt like the very next step I
took was gonna be in quick scene and she said I mean like quicksand like sink and
die and I was like that's exactly what it feels like it's not like it's uh it's
tear-inducing is terrorizing this and so no matter what you've accomplished the
next step is going to be to demise that happens we actually I was reading a book
about trauma and they talked about internally or internally traumatizing
yourself and that actually the chemical process so that we can actually develop
that sort of intoxication related to that emotions can take us over in ways
that are unseen but very traumatic and this do you know and what I would say
with that is that that's uh that's my active imagination we uh we're gonna
meet people who struggle with anxiety and panic I always just want to
compliment them because they and I heard them do this too like you're really
brave smart imaginative people people with this rate we're super creative and
we just don't know how to not terrorize our self with our own imagination which
is kind of what we do be like how many people in the room and I'm guessing out
there in the zoo shop in the worst case scenario story like are really good till
they gave you a bunch of factors could you quickly imagine the worst thing that
can happen right so we have these amazing imaginations and then we and
then we terrorize yourself because we end up spending too much time imagining
when we imagine something that comes to life in our body and that's where the
biochemical piece happens is that if I do that to myself enough my body knows
how to do it and the triggering of that gets faster and faster this is why
sometimes tumors I appreciate this idea of the nakata me
right it's such a dichotomy like that I have a public face of confidence and
competence but the private choices are like she says self-doubt
I think it's harsher than that it's not doubt but sometimes stop shaving then
talking to people is mainly about thinking about their inner supervisor
like what kind of an inner supervisor you have I mean we can all judge our
actual supervisors just on a scale from toxic and unhelpful to you know holds me
lovingly accountable firm but fair we can kind of put them up there but where
would we put ourselves the best majority people that I know that struggle of the
cluster syndrome would put there if they can welcome to the continuum they have
to put their own name or over on the toxic side that the way in which we
supervise our own experience is really harshly critical in shape and that's the
structure that we have to break in order for us to have a different experience
because here's the thing some people would just avoid the anxiety by just not
doing the thing right like because when I do public speaking I get I get anxious
so I just not to publish anything but high achieving people we don't get that
message right so we've there's these things that create that could have
anxiety but we continue to sign up and do them we continue to elevate our
careers so we continue to give ourselves to this opportunity to do you know and I
just want to note that that even if all of the current obstacles that women face
this is this particular census is designed for women but it can also be
for anybody who's in a targeted group that's the non-dominant groups of people
of color international students of AGT folks but
even if all the external barriers really appear today we still have this internal
pattern and that would keep us from from asking for what we need meant and I just
had an experience of this where we were talking about how to edit this video
because it's been recording longer than we needed to
and he's like we need to put some budget and I'm like I never think to ask for
budget for that kind of thing right so like why wouldn't why women don't ask
right so so we're trying to get it the internal part
of this stroke on your index card and I if you're out and zoom and you want to
do this you could either just send a chat message or to everyone or you can
text Lydia Lydia privately but it's just like if you could just jot down on your
card what are some of the thoughts what are your posture thoughts like what are
the things you hear yourself say to yourself that's how you bet your
customers this one is pretty much one or two examples and I'm going to collect
those so if your name on them I just want to like make sure that
the recurrent ones like is the one that comes up a lot
some folks might not be able to articulate that right now it's because
you've been living at the mercy of it but not witnessing it yet you've done if
you could just raise your card Lydia's gonna come around to grab your card if
you want the stress ball go for a great one
okay I'm just gonna randomly read these as I search them out and that's smart
enough for graduates were not capable on improvement not experienced enough they
know more than me don't know enough to participate don't know enough to take
that on that no matter what you do I won't accomplish what I set out to do
you did that wrong you should have said or done it this way you are really good
at getting over on people my favorites check me out look right I'm not good
enough I can't do that well enough who do you think you are flying the reader
too anxious I'll lose control why am I getting anxious this makes me feel
unconfident why can't I relax lots of times people feel like if they're
anxious that means they're confident as opposed to I'm confident and I have
anxiety right it's potentially the lates together what does not mean the other
I'm not prepared well enough expected that to do well they look bored
they look distracted I'm messing this up it's always an all about to have your
position I thought I'd be in by now I must not be good enough they just
haven't noticed yet I have no idea of what I'm doing and any second now I
don't have the knowledge to complete the task free to ask for help because
they'll know I'm not smart enough the assumption that if you don't know you're
not smart is right they're right that is a false belief that many of us carry you
can't do that that's way beyond your skill what were you thinking I don't
know what I'm doing he or she is
that knew I'm not as good as my peers there's the comparative piece of what a
woman says comparison is the thief of happiness I think that's a pretty
accurate sentence I need to begin a new track in my life before I've discovered
so a lot of times people present in my office beginning chronic dissatisfaction
chronic job dissatisfaction or chronic relationship dispensed satisfaction and
when we really get down to do actually like the work you do and doesn't have
meaning and purpose the answer is yes then the dissatisfaction is actually
false dissatisfaction that just to get you out of Dodge before they find out so
sometimes people jump around in their careers quite a bit you don't know what
you're doing you remembering it wrong I will be your inner ideas dumb just being
in the right place at the right time
no not done enough satisfaction very long especially if there's a success
everyone else is better at this they're smarter than I am
stay on your level now I'm not worried a recognition because of my lack of
education so they sound a lot like some of the ones that will be under select by
the way at the very end of mess I'll give you this lights afterwards so
actually this is a success one like oh I just had a success now it's time I
should go like it like this syndrome this thing this is like set of beliefs
doesn't let us enjoy what we do accomplished because if that's what
that's what this therapist was saying to me it's like you don't get to really
rebel on any of the fact that you've done all this stuff because the next
one's the problem right so we can't even settle into the successes we're almost
like success or joy joy proof right like we should be able to feel joy about
getting that but as soon as we get it we're like not sure we should have it
and so we don't interrupts the ability to have some
this is the thought I'm hoping to replace that with that these are the
thoughts that people have that's not just me so many people that I work with
joked for years that you know oh you have a you know a horrible case of
terrible uniqueness you know like you just think it's just you right
terminally you think it's just you you're the only one that's doing this
but when you pull back I start to see the pattern of it you can start to see
the cultural influences that created it you did not create this first of all you
weren't born with it and you did not create it on your own culture crafts it
for us and gender coding is very much a part of that not just for women but also
for men because the gender messages that we get from nxs folks up to not feel
like they can ask for help they don't know there's a problem with them and
with women there's constant messages about having to make everybody happy so
perception management is a really big part of it that happens for women so
when you start to pull back and look at it and start to see it as something
bigger than you it's a cultural framework and then I don't know about
you but when I recognize that I've been victimized by a cultural context that's
that's hurting me it's i I it's okay to get counterculture about some things in
order to like be able to be the most functional human that you can be and
doing good work so some of the markers for this that despite success deep down
you feel like been fraud this recurring fear of being found out or exposed if
you deflect compliments or minimize success or just discount your own
accomplishments sometimes if we'd like like to say that that's we're just
humble but really it's a function of insecurities and when it's described
like this there are some genuinely humble people that isn't what I'm doing
that it's not so much humble as trying to get the attention away from me
because I'm afraid if they look any deeper on something that's intense fear
of failure lack of confidence anxiety effort to present a shiny facade I mean
I see smiles and nods so I know that that's true like we put a lot of effort
into the shiny facade so much of the exhaust is subtext because it's waste
shinier than it really needs to be and then you have to like keep the shine up
you have to like publish I think that's
we end up caring more about perception than performance that's that one that
one's impacting you then it's likely that you have a bit of perfectionism and
the thing that people don't see about perfectionism one is people do
perfectionism to try to avoid feeling shame because if you could be above
reproach with your shiny facade then you don't have to feel shame but what we
don't understand this perfectionism is born out of shame because if you already
felt good enough you wouldn't be worried about managing everybody's perception
imagine if you are not worried about managing everyone's perception and you
actually got to break all of your energy to your actual work it's your actual
mission to your actual purpose we've got too many folks that spend way too much
energy on perception and I would say quite honestly and I know it's recording
organizationally speaking we have a case of organizational person perfectionism
we're all about the shiny and we actually want to be less about that and
more about the actual good hard work that we're doing individually on teams
and organizationally because you have to overwork to maintain the facade
competency and sometimes what's interesting is sometimes it's a facade
we put up but sometimes we think it's a facade and that's actually not there are
people who are actually pretty performance-based but they think they're
not confident so they they're still maintaining it aside that they don't
even need to maintain and then often then this is the part that really
impacts the people in your life this is not just impacting you and at one of the
other subjugation I don't have created them yet I want to talk about how you
participating in this mindset impacts other people the reason why that's
important is because well some of the folks in the room will have
a hard time shutting this just for them if they can see that it's infecting
other people they might be more inclined to do work to break it so we'll give you
that just because break it but I would love this for all of us to be free of
this set of beliefs do you want to know that because I feel like emotional
wellness consultants and counselors can be dangerous if we only talk about
things that the personal and interpersonal level which is where most
counselors thank you for just talking about stress
reduction and stress management and we're only talking about your personal
stress you can get the idea that you are just not handling your stress well but
we have to look at it on all four levels because the institutional and cultural
influences like that was just saying have to be taken into consideration and
so it's like there's some cases where you're struggling to feel good enough
because you actually lack resources because of some identity that path so I
just want to make sure that you are thinking that there's causes from all
four of these levels that go into why we develop this mindset and to break free
we need to kind of look at those different levels too so mostly I want
you to see a posture shunned syndrome as a shame story and so I come at this from
a shame resilience educator I teach some classes on understanding shame and
developing shame resilience the bottle that dr. Brown created about how to
actually get more comfortable with that feeling and be able to process it is
super useful and I'm going to be introducing that and encourage me to do
some more meetings up there shame is the emotion that's the chronic fear of
rejection if you feel shame which this imposter
syndrome thing is just an expression of really oh that actually means you're a
healthy person and it's a it's a gross heavy emotion that we don't want to talk
about but it's important that me to you because when we talk about shame that
dissipates will be hide and hold shame it festers sometimes it festers into a
lathers up into impostor syndrome and so shame is a relational emotion that we
get it when when we're afraid of being rejected from
the group so then that could enough is off off often connected to am I going to
be kicked out so this feeling of being unworthy of love and belonging is
something that we want to be able to release in our life so while I am much
more shape resilient than I used to be I will never be Shady free because and
that's okay because it's okay for me to sort of want to be aware of my
relationships if you do not have shame I do not want to know you because you do
not care about relationships at all and therefore I'm not safe with you so it's
not whether or not we have shame and the research indicates that shame all
genders experience shame are the messages that trigger shame can be very
gender-based either because you are trying to live up to idealize gender
roles or because like for myself I'm non-conforming too many ways in terms of
being woman and so sometimes the shame comes from not measuring up with the
stander and sometimes it comes from trying so hard to measure up the stander
did not not being able to ever get there that's true across genders as well I'm
not just going to this is this helpful because the 30 people in the room in 50
people in zoom it doesn't get to be the kind of conversation than it kind of
responded to me if we were in a group of 10 people so how this works with
impostor syndrome is they're going to ask you just you can just think about
this over the course of the week maybe is if I were to ask you in terms of the
areas where you tend to feel this impostor syndrome if you were to make a
list of all the ways you want to be seen in that role and then the ways you
really don't want to be seen I think that this imposter syndrome feeling gets
triggered because it's a shit we gets changed rigor we get triggered with it
whenever we feel like we're not the wanted identities or whether we're good
people that we are the unwanted ate it and that's when the imposter syndrome
triggers why that's important to know that it's not just a standard syndrome
you can have all the time but it's more episodic and it gets triggered and shows
up in different moments is it can actually help you start to realize what
you're wanted and unwanted identities are and what I know from a lot of people
is are much and then once of identities are unrealistic or we're not willing to
ever be seen as like not knowing the answer to something so you know for me
there's like well I wouldn't be doing this class if I was feeling like I had
to know everything about it right so sometimes not feeling like I know enough
about something would make me not even try to engage in it my fear of an
unwanted identity of not knowing can can get triggered at best example I know I
used to have used to actually advocate in counseling worlds that I'm gonna date
myself with this work but I used to carry a pager and I was so I would be on
duty over the over the weekend and I used to I used to turn in an argument
pager pay because I felt like it was so stressful to carry the pager that they
should actually constancy of us and when I figured out later is it's not actually
the pager but is that when I'm carrying the pager I imagine something come up
then I won't know how to deal with and that freaks me out so my imposter makes
out with me all weekend sort of saying you know heaven forbid it goes off like
the first thing that goes I'm not gonna know I don't even know what it is yet
right and so this idea that a counselor needs to know one of the major shifts in
my life was I went from my job is to no to my job is to be there to show up and
to care and to do the best I can to find information as people need it I'm happy
to possibly know everything about every mental health or issue under the Sun
work or otherwise for every MSU employee and their spouse a partner and their
benefits kids who could be having anything go on
right but if my but if my imposter syndrome gets activated whenever I don't
know something every time I meet a new client I used to do that you should be
in a new client I'd be walking him down the hallway talking about the weather
and if my head was like oh it says in their form that they're coming here for
this I don't know who's here nothing good no Jenny still hears me she
couldn't like this Oh charity won't she's on vacation oh my god she's not
here I'm all on myself I don't know enough like I'm sure your therapist
doesn't do that you probably have at some point and so now when I meet
somebody I'm just curious about media like I'm relaxed I'm grounded and
connected to my health and well-being and I'm curious about how the
conversation will go there's a really good chance you can drink some up I
don't know anything about and I will try to do my best to find out the resources
or whatever is happening but I'm calmer in it therefore a more present than ever
by the way their session gets to be about them and not about me right how
does it impact us for parenting we're like we're worried about how people are
thinking about us rather than the fact that our kids crying because something's
going on right okay so this these unwanted why don't I Denny's I think are
a part of it and so far I haven't seen it it may be of the imposter syndrome
literature that I've read so that's what you're gonna get from the shame goes on
it's coach here developing it shamefully this is one way to break it and what I
want you to start to notice because we're gonna be talking about what you
sing the imposter that's what I think I just decided next session is going to be
titled because the starting point of breaking free is starting to notice when
and how it shows up and where it shows up and so instead of being when it shows
up so startled by that you're believing it now you want to start to catch on to
it you want to start to like with a curious eye of a camera or with the
curiosity of a scientist you want to start to notice when you start talking
to yourself like that because you don't talk to yourself like that all the time
it gets activated so that's one thing we'll be talking to me the other thing I
really want to be clear is it's absolutely a form of anxiety and so when
we are doing something new more risky we feel it to avoid it you may avoid the
newer risky things I already said this to do high achieving people miss that
level so we keep dragging me anxiety what would it be like I mean I wish I
could redo my grad school because why with any posture syndrome less effective
the entire time I was there I still you know aced the program I still have the
degree I don't know a lot of what they were talking about like I was so
activated that it didn't actually get in nor did I have a connection to it so
most of what I find most helpful that I teach people I learned after that mirror
reconstituted rooms we dragged through we want to be able to do that without
drying the energy it takes to drag all of that with us through all of our
experiences it's exhausting graduates students often say they're exhausted but
not physically well that's one of the things that shows up on the survey over
and over and over they're exhausted but not physically what does that mean it
means they're dragging this unnecessarily with them we want to be
able to try to break out of that so I want you to start noticing that you are
terrorizing yourself with your own imagination and until we catch on to the
fact that that's happening we won't be able to interrupt it so we think our
anxiety is about the circumstances this is the other piece I'm going to talk
about next time it's like how do you heal my being to create their moment to
moment experience of reality but go really big a picture next week and start
to talk about how how we created cuz we think the circumstances like we think
public speaking does every think that this you know dissertation proposal is
actually creating it but this is a presentation that I'm doing and I've had
lots of different experiences of doing this presentation one is like feeling so
value guided that it was so essential to like have something to follow up with
people these guys involved both of these guys have heard multiple versions of
these and then what the hell was I thinking I don't have time to prepare
adequately I'm going to look like a fool
so when you start to get that it's not the circumstance then you start to see
how you operate you can navigate different so those are the two things we
witnessing and then the how do we operate then how do we do that the other
thing I'm sure happening for people who have impostor
syndrome is there overusing even abusing your analytical thinking you know if I
were to say do you do you spend more time in a reflective open curious
wondering state of mind where do you spend most of your waking moments
processing analyzing computing calculating who spends more time in the
ladder like your computer know what is on most of the time all right
it's almost everybody in the room I often say that we could probably boil
the DSM manual for a night for diagnosing mental health problems down
to one diagnosis I actually think more suffering from reflexive deficit we
spent so much time processing that we are in a receiving and open mode and
that stuff like you put folks that are experiencing this and we're constantly
on the lookout for threats and the problem with that is that our sensor for
noticing threats gets oversensitive and so we see threats everywhere and there's
a really great book if you're wanting to take a look at that called don't feed
the monkey mind just it's the newest book I'm reading so everybody but this
idea that there's a part of our brain that they could you could call the
monkey money that gets activated whenever there's a threat that book the
three threats that they say or the perceived threats that monkey off its
start monkey chattering and I actually see imposter syndrome thinking it's just
a bunch of monkey chatter it's not truth about yourself it's what your monkey
tells you when your monkeys freaked out does that make sense the memory it's
like I know I don't want much people hey here's the three Brooks that's tend to
kick the monkey up whenever you're not 100% certain okay so I can't imagine
much in the academic world that you you know there's a lot of certain flow will
they accept this proposal when I defend will I be successful with my defense I
mean big small all along the way there's a million pieces of it we're not certain
and then possibly making a mistake this is our monkey done like that and
whenever you're feeling all responsible or something or someone and so that
could be a project or a grant or a research or your dissertation or it
could be a person so how often do we get when one of those three things doesn't
happen and to be successful in this arena we have to be able to have those
things happening and stay calm and to know that our worth and our dignity and
our humanity is not connected to whether or not something is certain or we've
made a mistake and we have less response does it make it sense so I know you just
have a moment left not even we'll talk about that more later skipping that
there are formulas for breaking free from this and only of the leaf heavy I
just needed to make sure we were kind of all on the same page moving forward this
is from the center for creative leadership what you'll know what I would
say about that is focusing on the facts like this is this is this this method
well they're just pieces of it that are helpful if I was going to create a
holistic plan for how to deal with the posture syndrome piece of the vector
Beyond there it does have a potential to set you up to struggle with your
thinking it is based cognitive behavioral therapy in the second
generation of that that very public they're weak but we're the second
generation and the third generation shifts is in the second generation
people get you booked indicated struggling the third thing to talk about
it normalize and contextualize and reframe is also very humble pieces we'll
pull out of there it's also second generation focused so in addition to
that I want to help you guys think of it I've already said that let's get through
this um this slide is really about how important it is whenever you have
something happening with Shane Shane is that stuff in the petri dish
if you douse it with judgment secrecy in silence you go down on
column and you're going to get that kind of shape if you bring it up to p2 it
tends to dissipate and the reason I put that slide there is that absolutely to
talk about it isn't all three of them and the shame resilience model there's
four elements of navigating to shame first you have to recognize it which is
why we're going to start with noticing and witnessing when this gets activated
you recognize that you've been taken over by the imposter practicing critical
awareness which does link to the other pieces reaching out and connecting with
people and then actually starting to speak it so that the community your so
that you get much shame triggered by the fact that you have those thoughts and
then the community grows around it that part still is getting to the other piece
which is how do we how do we return to who we were before that I would like for
you to like really get connected to your health and well-being out of which you
have a moment of the posture syndrome and when you notice that and release it
you can return back to your steady calm creative wise grounded beautiful stuff
like all those words just blew out at you so we're going to be talking about
that part two because what resilience training you get to hang out in your
health and well-being I get to actually be in front of you and however many
people are out there and I can you feel that I'm connected to my health and
well-being right now and I'm bringing that to you in a way that makes sense
and I didn't do it perfectly and I'm running out of time over time actually
so you know we're gonna go big picture here and connect you to some resiliency
training that's already happening on campus there are classes related to all
these different pieces of learning how to be more emotionally resilient and
psychologically flexible my thought about that when I was talking to myself
about this training is that it reminded me of that don't break the ice cream
like instead of trying to get them thinking and just take it just go right
after the thinking oh that's the imposter in the middle there already we
just want to knock way different have that we have and then it fall away
because this is I found this semi-dome a quote that just sort of sums up our
posture hanging out right and so we're gonna just change the way it's
structured so that it just kind of falls away
right because you can't go after it because that's not how it works but as
you develop other skills and you learn to backup and interruptive you get that
that's not you it's just a thought you're having if we go ahead pay it that
way it's gonna change leave it there except to operate that in the meantime
in this week if you have a moment when you are really overwhelmed with that
feeling I would like you just to acknowledge that you're having the
feeling care for yourself honor yourself to say wow you're having an imposter
what that sucks it's hard it's not everything it'll pass
and anyone they actually like allow it to move on your body how you can do that
is by bringing your attention to the present moment taking in the present
moment taking a breath so that you can relax aspect into your health reflect on
what the next best thing to do is and do whatever that is and we'll talk more
about that structure as a way to move through any posture moment that you have
ok thanks for staying a few minutes later thanks to you and zoom as well
we'll be back we are recording this so that if you miss something then you can
still get it you just don't exactly know how we're gonna do buzzer comments you
can talk to me now or you know
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