if something ever doesn't go the way that you've planned and you find
yourself in that situation don't panic the most important thing you can do is
stay calm stay present being able to be calm that you've laid a plan out you've
done what you've done that got you to this point if something comes up that
you didn't expect or that you didn't know was gonna come your plans not bad
it got you to where you are right now you have to deal with what's in front of
you that doesn't mean run away doesn't mean to stop yet don't do anything
it means deal with it deal with what's in front of you move through it move
around it and over it move under it but keep moving forward
rectify the situation regroup and go I'm talking to those guys who hate to fail
because I hate to fail it's really as simple as that it takes tubs and tubs of
ice cream lots of tissues lots of Tears lots of trauma mazi my mother my best
friend's my family everybody making me feel better about it but the one thing
that is as circle as night and day ladies and gentlemen is that you will
fail it's just how it is and there is nothing that you can do to stop that
it's what you do after thatl define where you go when something I've
invested in my heart and my soul which I do with everything that I actually put
my mind to if that fails I don't just wallow in self-pity I roll
myself in it I roll around in it I wrap myself in it head-to-toe self-pity
self-pity self-pity it's not a pretty sight but then I get a cry a little dust
myself off and dive straight back into life because the only way to push
failure aside is to move ahead not ignore it analyze it and learn from it
always remember you will never truly enjoy success until you have tasted
failure fail fail fail again and then rise like a phoenix now what is life
without a little bit of a risk right now I'm not an adrenaline junkie I'm not
telling you to go off rollercoasters or anything I've always believed that you
have to take risks calculated educated risks to evolve because if you've not
truly explored the full extent of your possibilities you'll always remain
stagnant people have written me off several times in my career sometimes
they didn't agree with my choices when I played a negative character in my film
eras very early in my career I was told I'll
be a vamp and no one will cast me as a hero
when I took on a female centric film called fashion again very early on in my
career I was told that was not normal when I signed a u.s. TV show at the
height of my film career India each time the risks were huge the stakes were high
and the repercussions could have been to say not the least career-ending
thank God they won't and I'm still standing in front of you hi
I really appreciate God I don't know what'll happen going forward but as of
now I can say that my risks and the gamble was worth it you know why because
I backed up those risks with my hundred percent be bold and take these risks
takes three things to create a breakthrough in anything and your
personal life in your business anywhere you need a strategy but that's not the
first place you should look and it's the first place all of us look me too
it's our adherent thing you want to lose weight or how do I do it I'm gonna grow
my business how do I do it it's it's instinctively been trained to think that
way but the problem is the how-to is usually not that complex gonna come on
70% of America is what 75% of America now is overweight is that because it's
so complex how to be fit and strong right you know only the 1% know the
answer is they hide it from you you have to work your ass off to not hear what it
takes right and so so you know I never I went to this I went to a TED med Center
and I watched about 12 doctors we're not gonna get up and do these stories about
how we could just get patients to take their medications and try to figure out
the whole thing and I was just looking and going you're all talking about
strategy and you've forgotten psychology because strategy is wonderful I'm a
strategist and my whole life we can have strategy says we both know a strategy
could save you a decade right and doesn't the strategy could save you you
know you can make the interesting success and failure but most people have
strategies available or they could get them or you could create them but the
problem is you got a story and your story is why it isn't working
and the story is I've tried what but everything if you tried everything you'd
be fit you tried everything you'd be profitable if you tried everything you'd
be there but people said you know I'm big-boned that's what I used to say I'm
still big-boned but I'm 38 pounds lighter than I was 25 years ago and I've
never gained it back right I was big boned that was my story all the good
ones are gone that's why I'm not in a relationship or they're gay and I'm not
on him they are or whatever the story there's always a story and when I tell
people's you know if you can just divorce the story of your limitation and
marry the truth of your unlimited capacity than the Holy Angels but it's
hard to do that because when you're in your story you don't even realize it so
you need a third piece for breakthrough and that's really what my life's about
which is changing people's states because in a different state or
different people you know can mean people be nice yes or no yes or no
where's there when there a nice day a nice people be mean I'm sure to get a
mean stay so really learning to train yourself to be in an ideal state where
the best of you comes out to yourself for your family for your mission for
your world for your co-workers to me that's one of the most important
decisions in life to make you ask me out of all the people I've met all the
things I've seen you know what creates a magnificent life you know everybody has
goals and dreams that are different some people want you know picket fence some
want to make a billion dollar some you know want to have this huge breakthrough
in technology some people want to write through the poetry whatever is right for
people is what I want them for themselves I don't want to be like me or
you or anybody else I want them to have their dream but to have that you need
two skills you need number one to have the science of achievement it's a
science you have to know how to take your vision and make it real and most
people assume they've already figured that out and this guy sure as hell has
and you have and I have so most of us know and we can all refine our skills in
that area but we know how to take what we dream about make it real if you don't
you can learn from somebody who does you know the simplest thing is get crazily
hungry for something we all know when you get so hungry so desirous your brain
starts coming up with answers and then it's massive action but effective
execution which is all modeling which is I assume what this is about
find the best example compress the time let someone else take 20 years to figure
it out you do it in two weeks or two months or whatever period is that we
should all be standing the shoulders the people around us instead of reinventing
the wheel and then there's this thing called grace you know if you work your
ass off you're totally focused you try to serve
something larger than yourself and you really are executing what works
you need a little grace might want to call it luck if you prefer God the
universe but it's there and we can all achieve but I think the more important
skill if you ask me is to have an extraordinary as the art the fulfillment
and it's an art it's not a science because there's a science to making
money I don't care who you are if you do certain things you're gonna have too
much financial stress you do other things you're gonna have an abundance
there's a science there's a science to your body everyone hears biochemically
different different genome but there are certain fundamental patterns that if you
and I follow them you're gonna have tons of energy gonna feel good if you break
them you're gonna pay the price and have low energy or disease but so filmin is
an art what's going to fulfill you is
differently a person actually not to learn that from anybody else
you gotta find it because success without fulfillment is the ultimate
failure and I get those phone calls all the time for the multi billionaire
entrepreneur or politician or business person or person just won their Academy
Award and they're depressed they can't tell anybody as they got all their goals
but they're not fulfilled because they really don't have that sense of meaning
in their life they went for something and they got it they achieved and if you
doubt this what I'm saying is relevant to you or us or anyone just think about
about a year and what a month ago we lost what I consider be a national
treasure robbing wipes how many of you loved
robbing lives look around they don't keep the hands up look and most of you
didn't know almost anywhere you go in the world people love robbed boys by the
way was he great at achievement oh my god that guy he said he want to make
become a great comedian he did that I want to make the world laugh he did I
want to make my own TV show he did I'm one of the number one TV show he did it
I want to make movies he did I want an Academy Award for not being funny not
his skillset drama and he did it I want a beautiful family he did it and then he
hung himself make everybody happy but yourself not a good plan so if I had a
gift to give you it would be maybe make a different decision and the decision is
that no matter what happens in your life you're gonna live in a beautiful state a
beautiful state and that could be happy that could be grateful that could be
being generous those are all beautiful states aren't they it could be curious
it could be fun it could be playful you're not limited to one state but it's
different than suffering and most people suffering and all suffering I've ever
seen I've traveled 100 countries I've dealt with presence of countries and you
know presidents of businesses CEOs I've dealt with people in prison I thought
with you name average people suffering always comes because you're obsessed
about something related to you you can only be depressed if you're focusing
so now I'm depressed cuz my kids and they're not doing well no you're
depressed cuz you feel you've failed your kids it's about you it's about how
you think you what you should have done or shouldn't have done or what someone
did to you or didn't do to you in the past for the future which don't even
exist so I have a simple goal my goal is help people make a decision that says I
don't know what's gonna happen you might get a divorce even though you don't
think so you might find a family of your family with cancer you can't control
those things I can't control those things I don't want this to happen to
you or anybody I love or anybody who's even a stranger to me but they're going
to happen true not possibly thinking bullshit just the truth so if that's
gonna happen I say make a decision now that says I'm a living a beautiful state
and I'm gonna find beauty and whatever Life brings me coz life is too short not
to I see a little buddy up here named Shaun and member when I got a phone call
from the make-a-wish Foundation say of a young man is about to die and he wants
to meet you and he came to a seminar and then I took
him out after his in time if he coughed too much they said they said he can't
grab him I said I want to take him cross the fire they said take him cross the
fire said if he if he coughs he breaks a rib I said I'll be really gentle we're
gonna do this thing and he did it the bottom line is this young man over
here announced different stage of life he's always been anyways I think he
lived because he lived for more than himself yeah I'm sure he felt pain but
we only suffer we think about what's being done to us or what people are
gonna think or what they should have done him hadn't done and you can't
control that stuff anyway I mean why be pissed when people gonna do our people
gonna be mean yes or no are people gonna be unfair and unjust yes or no are
people gonna be beautiful and generous yes or no you just never know when that
shit's gonna happen so might as well enjoy yourself along the way and I
suggest today if you want there's any gift I came by to give you it's to tell
you what you know already but get you to make a decision about to actually decide
I'm going to live in a beautiful state that doesn't mean I don't get angry or
pissed or tired with you know suffering arises and you end it the moment you go
holy shit I'm thinking about me if I leave this I'll always be suffering the
human mind is always looking for what's wrong the human brain is not designed to
make you happy it's designed to make you survive
happiness that's your job and you only get it if you draw a line in the sand
that's how it's gonna be and I can tell you the few people to do it I know a few
people that have done it have magnificent wives one of my life mantras
that saves my butt every single day of the week is this idea that clarity comes
from engagement not thought so you can be you know sitting on your couch and
wrestling with two options you know whether it's which business should I
start should I stay in this relationship or not should I go back to school or
should I you know staying this job there's a million things that all of us
kind of struggle with each and every day and one of the things that's helped me
and I remember it was actually tied back to when I was considering whether or not
to go for some type of career in dance now I had never had any formal dance
training my dance experience really was me moon walking across my mom's linoleum
floor and my white socks too like Michael Jackson that's as far as the
dance training I had but I love to dance and when I was starting my life coaching
business at 23 one of the things that was awesome about that experience was
getting a chance to really look at all my own beliefs and my own
and that's when I started to really identify that I didn't just want to be a
coach and I didn't want to just focus on one specific thing and I loved
spirituality I loved business I'm marketing I love personal development
they also loved fitness and I also loved dance and so I was having a hard time
reconciling and what to call myself what to focus on it was really a confusing
time in my life it was really frustrating because I had a lot of Drive
and I wanted to help people and I wanted to make a difference but I didn't and I
couldn't figure out how I fit into society so this idea of dance just
didn't leave me alone and I remember just saying to myself like if I don't
actually go and take a class like how am I gonna know and so I went and I took my
first ever professional dance class at Broadway Dance Center and getting into
that class I was terrified because you know in the dance world unfortunately if
you're 25 years old in the hip-hop world you're kind of over the hills you were
the old woman and that's crazy like that isn't sane to say and it's not true
everywhere but I remember going into that class and it was like the warm-up
section and I just sat down on this wooden floor and I moved myself in the
back because I was terrified that I would make you know people trip or that
people would laugh at me and I just sat on the floor and that the music came on
and I started crying because it felt so right
and I'm like why have I tortured myself for like three years going like could I
dance should I dance as I try to dance I mean I torture myself for years about
that and was miserable and so this idea clarity comes from engagement not
thought if you're wrestling with something do anything you can to move
towards the thing that you think you want you know if you're not sure if you
should stay in a relationship it's like give that relationship everything you
can go get some couples therapy talk to somebody say I want to work on this if
it's a career that you might want to investigate or you might want to move
towards like go take a class in turn get yourself embedded in that field somehow
to test it because your body has a truth it has an
knowing that you can never access through your mind alone and I think that
once you engage with your body and you actually take action there is this flood
of intelligence that you have access to that you cannot get any other way
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