Friday, November 30, 2018

Youtube daily report Nov 30 2018

- So I'm at Home Depot, right?

And the guy is like, "Buddy, you're looking

for Office Depot, okay?"

(laughs)

And then, I woke up--

(both shout)

- You gotta help me!

- Oh my God!

Drive, drive!

- I'm not gonna drive with a guy on the car, okay?

(shouts)

I'm not going back to jail.

- What?

- Please, no no!

You gotta help!

(body thumps)

- I'm sorry, sir.

(soft music)

(both scream)

- Wow, that was terrible for me.

- Neither one of us can judge the other person

for how they reacted back there.

- Did you?

- Yes.

(Josh groans)

Oh grow up!

Okay, we said we were not gonna judge--

- You said that.

I didn't say that.

- Okay, fair.

(bell jingles)

Let's just move on, okay?

- Well, we got one.

- [Driver] Who is it?

- Well, it's a quarter mile behind us.

On the street.

- You don't think its--

- Yeah, I think.

Yeah, let's just pull the whole thing around.

Pull a U-turn or something.

- Nope, no need.

Mirrors.

Hey.

Sorry.

- You gotta understand.

- My biggest phobia is somebody jumping

on my windshield.

Nothing to do with the blood or anything.

- You could have been a homeless man jumping

up trying to bite us or something--

- Yeah.

- Like we don't know you, you know what I mean?

- We don't, at all.

- Anyway, it says you want to go to 145 Maple Street?

- Yes, the hospital, man.

I broke my leg.

- Oh, my leg.

Yeah.

- Bone is sticking out.

Oh, it looks like Alfred Hitchcock, his profile.

- Sir, we're gonna get you to the hospital

right on time, that's the Genie guarantee.

- Thank you.

What if I rub on the car and wish for a backseat?

- Yeah, how are we gonna fit Captain Ahab back here?

You barely fit.

- Strap him to the top like a kayak.

- Sound actually travels if you didn't know

at 141 miles per second.

- Okay, that's good.

This is step one.

(man shouts)

- Grab his arms, grab his arms!

Sir, you've got to help us.

I'm gonna slowly push him towards you.

- No.

- Yeah, it's okay.

- [Man] Which one of you all is a vegetarian?

- It's me, it's me.

I can't look at it.

(both shout)

(man shouts)

- We're gonna get you to the hospital, sir.

I need you to stop crying.

- Which one is the broken one?

If you are on this side, then we can't drive.

- You gotta stabilize the neck.

- I'm gonna have to break his other leg.

- Josh, that's illegal.

- Well, we could make it look like an accident.

- [Man] What?

- Nothing sir, everything's fine.

Keep calm.

We are not doing that, okay?

We're gonna have to do it my way.

- No. - Yes.

- No, no thank you.

- Come on, take one for the team.

- No, no thank you, no.

That's not happening.

- So I'm at Home Depot and the guy is like,

"Buddy, you're looking for Office Depot."

And then I woke up.

- Dude, that's my dream.

- Oh yeah, it is.

- I wish this was a dream.

- No sir, this is a nightmare.

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