[ Rhythmic clapping ]
Chicks, I love you. Y'all be the worst on IG Live.
'Cause guys will go and watch a girl's IG Live.
Just, you know, that's our way of hollering and shit.
We're stupid. We're like, "Yo, if I like every Instagram photo she ever posts,
eventually she'll let me smash."
But they'll be in there singing songs and shit.
You'll be like, "Yo, what am I doing?"
And the shit is that niggas are so dumb,
shorty will put the camera on some type of pedestal
or whatever, tripod, facing --
She's not even seeing what you're writing.
And niggas will just sit there for hours like,
"Yo, ma, I love you. You're beautiful.
Yo, I'll suck a phone out your butt, yo."
Meanwhile she's putting on her makeup like, "I'm a starboy."
♪♪
A bar owner in Missouri gave us further proof
that this debate has nothing to do with race... Of course not!
...with a makeshift doormat of two very specific NFL jerseys.
I wonder who they are. Was it Peyton Manning? Tom Brady?
Probably Eli. You know what it is. Julian Edelman?
The guy from the Eagles that called everybody --
said he was gonna fight every nigger in here?
Here's a look at the doormat.
-Oh. Okay. -Okay. All right.
I would love to see Marshawn Lynch
walk into that bar like...
"Yo, take my...jersey off the ground right now, dawg."
It's a play on -- Oh. Lynch Kaepernick. Ohh.
Ohh. I see what you did there.
-Pretty sneaky, sis. -24/7? Ahh.
Where are white people getting NFL jersey money from?
'Cause we only got them to wear them.
Y'all got them to burn and put on floors?
Like, come on, y'all. Let us in on the secret.
Shits is replicas. Got the shits at Modell's on clearance.
We go to a local news report for more in the Ozarks.
Of course.
"We break from making meth to report to y'all."
A Lake Ozark bar is
getting criticism tonight for a doormat.
And the owner of the SNAFU Bar near Bagnell Dam
says he didn't intend to offend anyone
with his doormat of NFL jerseys. Nigga, what?!
No, no, no. It's modern art.
He flipped it around so it doesn't say "Lynch Kaepernick" anymore.
I see what you did there, your cornball. Ahh.
Sloan: It just kind of upset me really bad.
It put a bad taste in my mouth.
Packard: Taylor Sloan saw this makeshift doormat
outside the door of SNAFU over the weekend,
took a picture, and posted it online.
-Wow. -Wow.
Yo. Wait. Take it back.
Your man wore the white-people equivalent of Timberlands.
He got the camo Crocs.
-Yo. Wow. -Damn, fam!
Are those Merrells, my guy? Are those campers?
Come on, man. He definitely got the...goatee and the...Oakleys.
Your man -- With the dirt.
Ahh. You didn't have to rub it in like that.
Wow. You -- Wow. It's not a race thing.
A lot of people want to twist it around to be a race thing.
They were placed the way they came out of the box.
I ordered them together. [ Laughs ]
Bro, shut the...up. Shut the...up.
He's not even trying. He's just like...
Yeah, you failed NASCAR driver. Shut the...up.
He's like, "Nah, nah. It's not a race thing."
"Yeah, it's not about race.
"Why do you people always make it a race thing?
Why don't you go back to Africa and make it a race thing there?"
"It just happened to say 'Lynch Kaepernick.'
I didn't know what that meant. Ahh-ahh."
There was no ill intent.
-He lying. -Lying nigga.
Fam, when you ordered that shit, you were like,
"Yo. Lynch Kaepernick? Bro, it's gonna be lit!"
If it wasn't a race thing, why did they move it, though?
Because if you remember in the beginning, it said "Lynch Kaepernick,"
and now when the cameras came out, it was like "Kaepernick Lynch."
Packard: ...but distaste for kneeling in the national anthem.
Man: A lot of us military folks take that personal to heart.
It's not y'all anthem! What the...?
Idiot!
I could line this whole sidewalk with NFL players
that don't stand for the flag.
Nah, I don't think --
I don't think SNAFU Bar is making money like that.
Fam, look at the patrons. You know what time it is.
Oh, wow. Oh, whoa.
My man got the level-90 racist mustache.
-Jesus. What is it? -Bro, come on.
It's Buds and dubs all night long.
God damn, bro.
Shorty got the ponytail attached to the hat.
"If you can't have a good time at Club SNAFU, where can you go?"
He's like, "Hey, what you doing later?
I got a six-pack of Bud Light.
We can get busy in my pickup truck."
[ Rhythmic clapping ]
Hey, the Parliament in Uganda
had a fierce debate about how old their president can be.
The fight was about Yoweri Museveni's efforts
to extend his rule and those who oppose it.
Museveni's 73 and has been president for 31 years.
-That's kind of up there. -Okay.
Yeah. It's called the "Weekend at Bernie's" clause.
We go out to NBS TV Uganda
for the video of this heated debate. Oh, shit.
[ Whistling, indistinct shouting ]
Nah. I know a World Cup game when I hear a World Cup game.
Oh. Yo. What?! They're scrapping, bro.
This is the "Unforgettable" video.
-Yo! -Oh, shit.
The shit look like when --
This is like Tupac at the MGM Grand shit.
Your man got the chair. He's like, "I dare you. Come on."
"Go ahead. I dare you." He's got belts?
Seafood City Uganda is off the chain, B.
Yo, this is wild.
They're not gonna serve liquor on the weekends no more.
It's a wrap. They got security in there now.
-Ohh! -Oh!
Yo, your man came through
with the Michael Jackson white-socks spin!
Look at Omarion. Whoa! Ahh!
-Whoa! I dare you! -Look at that unnecessary spin!
Your man came through like, "Heeeh!"
Yo. He's like, "Oh, they're getting it in over there."
He got the Usher heelies, "U Don't Gotta Call" spin.
-Like, "Yo!" -Shit.
-Yo. -Yo.
Bong! iTomó! iMamaguevo coño!
Yo, damn. They're picking up sticks and shit.
They don't give a...
Mic stands. This is...lit.
Ohh! Nigga threw the chair.
-Your man ca-- Ahh. -Oh, he caught that shit!
Your man in the white caught it. He was like, "Nothing. I eat this."
"That's light work, nigga. You stupid?
Oh, I'm in the red zone, nigga. Touchdown."
Your man did the Odell like, "Ahh! Ahh!"
Hold that. ...outta here.
Wait. Take it back when your man was throwing the chair.
On the lower right, yo, your man his hooking off
on some Floyd Mayweather shit.
-Ohh! Ohh! -Baow!
-Ohh! -Your man caught him.
He was like, "Oh, you're throwing chairs, my guy?
You're throwing chairs?"
He was like, "Yeah?" He was like, "U-ganda!"
[ Laughs ]
"Smack your kufi off." Damn!
Imagine, like, Mitch McConnell in some shit like this.
He'd be like, "I don't know what to do. I'm scared."
Mitch McConnell just goes in his shell like, "Tell me when it's over."
"Call me when it's over."
Russell Westbrook's like, "Yo, who I'm scrapping with?"
Your man had the high hands.
He's like, "Yo. Square up. Square up. Square up."
Look at shorty getting it up.
"Yo, get him. He said you're wild-pussy, yo!"
-Ooh. Ooh. -God damn, bro.
Where's the security at?!
He's like, "Yo, what's good, nigga? I was just chillin'.
But if you want to smoke, you can get it."
He's like, "How dare you wear a tan suit to Congress, nigga."
Yo, look at shorty laid out like...
Drug your man out. "Yas. Drag him. Yas."
"Drag him. Yas. Drag him."
Fam.
So, did they ever take a vote or...?
No, niggas didn't vote on shit, bro.
They was fighting over Henny wings the whole time.
You know what? You know how you knew this was gonna go bad very fast?
Take it back. Your man came through in a red headband.
Look. See your man right there at the bottom?
He turned hit hat into a headband like,
"Yo, we about to get shit lit in here."
Look at him at the bottom. He's like, "Yeah, see? Ah-ah.
Five-star Damu. You know what it is. Ah-ah-ah-ah!
One-Eyed Willy. I ride through the streets dolo. Ahh."
They're really all Blooded up. What?
-Ah. -Ohh!
Once you throw a chair, it's on.
Like, that's why your man came.
He was like, "Oh, we throwing chairs, my guy?"
"Oh, you're throwing chairs? What's good?"
[ Laughs ] Ahh!
Yo!
Your man really did the Omarian BET Award intro!
[ Rhythmic clapping ]
Oh! Oh.
A food blog, uh, that I would venture to say
was started by Yakubians
decided that they wanted to film American children
trying Jamaican cuisine.
First Trump, now this. Leave my island alone.
I'm sure they were like, "Ew. This is gross.
It's not a Chicken McNugget."
Let's see what these rude pickney'em have to say about Jamaican food.
Woman: The subscribers have asked us
to have you try
a lot of different types of Jamaican dishes.
What's Jamaican?
It might have a little seasoning on it.
She's like, "I don't like seasoning.
My mommy doesn't put seasoning on my food."
♪♪
It looks like meat with, like, a potato inside of it.
[ Jamaican accent ] You look like a potato. Cut your head.
[ Laughter ]
It looks like American meat,
but I still have a bad feeling about it.
Bad feeling. That's what you're gonna get, so you better eat it.
It's okay. It's a little too spicy.
♪♪
That's spicy!
This little round-faced girl just kick out the food?
Yo. Yo.
Dog come mad-fast, snatch that shit up.
[ Laughs ] Stray dog just come in the crib like -- whoop!
-Eehh! -She's like, "Oh, my God!
The spiciest thing I ever ate was mayonnaise!"
♪♪
That tastes really good. It tastes like beef jerky.
I am just not liking this Jamaican food.
Who is this little girl Madison?
Call her mudder! I'm tired of her!
[ Normal voice ] Listen. She can say that
in the safety of whatever studio she is.
You're not gonna say that to the person that actually
made that Jamaican food, all right?
You're gonna get a new Jamaican cuisine called "belt."
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
What is this?
I like it because it's so good!
And it tastes like potatoes!
That poor little girl is gonna have her life ruined
by some Jamaican man.
[ Laughter ]
I'm just preparing you now.
Yo.
♪♪
Whoever decided to make this, it was a bad idea.
Ooh. Ooh.
I'm offended.
Ew! Is that, like, a fish?!
Feel like this is a portion-meal version of stargazing pie.
Yeah, stick to your... Uncrustables, ma.
Homey was fake-eating the shit. He was like...
You know I don't really...with foods, 'cause this was like me.
And I learned early on if you don't eat the food
people make for you, they just stop making you food.
Like, from 5 to 6 years old, I had no dinners.
My parents were just like, "You're gonna waste the food...starve."
Fam, I did bids at the dinner table.
Like, "You are eating this shit,
or you're not getting up off the table."
I was like, "Word? All right. I got all night."
They coming in and make it dramatic and turn the lights off on you.
And I'm just like, "Damn."
And I feel a roach crawl up my leg.
I'm like, "...it. I'm-a eat this shit, man.
I don't care, man. I can't sit here in the dark."
Woman: This is called ackee and saltfish.
It's the national dish of Jamaica.
Sorry, Jamaica. I don't like your dish.
Ohh! Damn. Megan talking spicy.
Desus: All right. Doesn't matter.
She's still gonna go there and get her hair braided.
[ Laughter ]
Yo! She's gonna be in Sandals like,
"Do you guys have chicken fingers?"
Wait till you're posting that for your Throwback Thursday.
"Oh, irie. I miss the vibes." I see you.
"This is when I got my groove back."
♪♪
Yo, number-one show in late night.
-Nothing but illustrious guests. -That's right, ballbags.
Tonight, the one and only G-Eazy.
New album,
"The Beautiful & Damned," coming this fall.
G-Eazy. Come to the building. Come to the table. Come on up.
♪♪
You had to leave a tour with Drake to go back to school?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, it wasn't like --
So, at the time, we were just kind of, like, opening up.
We weren't getting paid or nothing like that.
We were just out there just mobbing.
I don't even know if Drake knew I was opening up.
[ Laughter ]
It was real early, man, and I just --
I mean, school -- I've hated school since day one.
But I was just like,
"If I'm gonna finish something, I'm gonna finish something."
And I was just like, "Look, if I'm gonna be this,
I'll meet Drake again later.
This is not the only chance I'll ever get in life."
And my teacher was just like,
"If you miss one more class, you're getting an F."
And then I had to keep a 2.0 to keep my scholarship.
And I was riding that 2.1 line.
You know, I was doing just enough.
So that would have tipped me over,
and it would've been a wrap.
-Damn. -Damn, bro.
-Did you finish school? -Yeah, I did.
What'd you graduate with?
Shout-out to my grandma. I did that for her.
-Aww. -I finished with a 2.1.
-All right. -You know what I'm sayin'?
Hey, man. What do you call a doctor who graduated with a 2.1?
You call him a doctor.
You know what I'm sayin'? He's still a doctor...
DR, period.
The best who ever did it and got away with it.
Makes me a little scared, though. I don't want to have the doctor with the 2.1.
I don't want the doctor with the 2.0, but you wouldn't know.
'Cause you wouldn't call him 2.0 doctor.
You would call him doctor.
Technically speaking, he might be --
Yeah, he might have just did enough to get by.
"I know this. I ain't gotta..."
He's like, "I know the first part of heart transplants and shit."
"I know enough."
Who was your biggest influence coming up?
-Mac Dre. -Hey. Mac Dre from the Bay.
R.I.P. to the gawd.
So, around the time I got into music
was around the time Mac Dre passed.
And, you know, I was -- That time in the Bay Area,
the hyphy movement was fully, like, bubbling
and becoming this force.
"Tell Me When to Go" came out.
-Yeah. -Yeah. 2006.
So, you think '04, '05, '06, '07,
that's the window of time --
That's when I was in high school.
That's when I was rapping, making beats, burning CDs,
my mixtapes, slinging them out of my backpack.
You know what I'm sayin'? Had a Myspace page.
Oh, the Top 8.
Posting the little bulletins.
"I'm out here. Check my shit."
Uploading songs, getting no plays.
You're out here, man.
You're on the scene. You're big-time now.
When was your first moment where you realized
"Yo, I'm super-poppin'?"
I don't know. I don't know if I am yet.
You're on the number-one show in late night, my guy.
You're super poppin'.
I mean, it's weird. Sometimes I get my flex on.
I'll talk my shit. You know what I'm sayin'?
I'll remind people. I'll let them know.
But for the most part, man, I'm chilling.
I go to work. I do my thing. I keep my head down.
You're from the West Coast,
so I'm expecting you're a connoisseur of this.
Who has the best weed of all the rappers you know?
I stopped smoking weed a long time ago.
-Really? -Snoop will make me smoke.
-Wiz will make me smoke. -Yeah, you have to.
Like, Wiz's mom was like, "Nah, you're gonna smoke this."
Damn! How Wiz Khalifa's mom got you -- With the wild L.
I'm like, "Oh, sorry, ma'am."
"I just made this Khalifa kush."
Other people coming out with cookies. She's coming out with the L.
My mom makes me smoke every time I'm with her.
I'm like, "Mom, you know I don't smoke no more. Sheesh."
We just get to catching up, man,
and next thing you know, I'm just,
"Ma, I got to go to sleep."
How old were you when you first smoked with your mother?
I started smoking when I was like 13.
But she didn't know. Or I think she --
I don't know if she knew.
She was smoking all the time, and I knew.
She didn't know that I knew.
It was a weird thing 'cause we'd both be smoking,
and we couldn't let each other know.
Like, "Yo, are you high?" It's like, "Nah, are you?"
"You look high. Are you high?" "No, I'm not high. You high?"
-"Nah. Nah." -"My allergies."
She be like, "You swear?"
"I swear to God."
All right. This interview is going well.
Time for the gotcha question.
Are you and Andrew Schultz the same person?
You know, I get that a lot, man. And we are.
[ Laughter ] You do get that a lot?
Of all platforms to choose, this is the one I chose.
-To come out? -So the world knows, yeah.
Me and that cat are the same guy.
How often do you get that?
We've been just sharing jobs this whole time, man.
We take shifts.
I don't really see the resemblance like that.
I thought we were doing a better job with the makeup and the mask.
We used to work with him, and we would tease him
and be like, "You look like G-Eazy."
He'd get very upset. He was like, "I do not look like this guy."
-Look. Come on, people. -Come on, man.
Yeah, he looks like your brother that didn't really make it.
Yeah! [ Laughter ]
Nigga was in the NICU for too long and shit.
Yeah. I came out prettier.
[ Laughter ]
What's the worst job you ever had before you were rapping?
Um. [ Chuckles ]
I worked at this spot called Top Dog in Oakland.
-Hot-dog shop? -Yeah, it's a hot-dog spot.
It's not Top Dawg ENT.
I did not intern for Top.
I did not know K-Dot.
Yeah, it's called Top Dog, and it's a hot-dog spot.
And I ran it myself.
So I'm working the grill. I'm doing the cash register.
Some "Arrested Development" shit, like the banana stand?
I'm giving somebody their bag of chips.
You know what I'm sayin'? I'm pouring the sodas.
And at night, I'd clean up.
And, you know, I had a job since I was old enough to get one,
you know, and would work like five days a week.
Closing out at night, coming home, you know, late,
having school the next morning, whatever.
And I used to -- The one thing about it, though --
I used to put my stack of mixtapes next to the tip jar.
"With that hot dog, you want to support local hip-hop?"
[ Laughter ]
Ohh. Is that place still around?
Yeah, yeah. It's still around.
You ever just pass through and be like...
It's all love. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
♪♪
What would you like your rainbow to say?
-"Thank you, Based God." -Hey.
Yes. Shout-out to Lil B, the Based God.
G-Eazy. New album. "The Beautiful & Damned."
Coming this fall.
That's right. You better go cop that, stupid,
or we're gonna come to your crib and make you download it by force!
Or Based God will curse you.
That's right. You don't want that Based God curse.
You know what I'm sayin'?
♪♪
What's the most uncomfortable moment you ever had with a fan?
I thought you were gonna say with my mom.
[ Laughter ] We can go both.
Probably just being high and awkward
or her walking in on me having sex.
I'm like 15 years old. I'm like, "Mom! Shit."
"Mom, chill! I'm trying to get this double toppy!"
-Shout-outs. -Shout-outs! Yeah! Ha-ha!
Sho -- Hmm. Ugh. Almost threw up.
Shout-out to knowing how to handle elevator beef.
What if I just threw up right here like blegh?
That'd be G. I would respect it.
Shout-out to knowing how to handle elevator beef.
Is this a Solange training video?
Ha-ha. Ha-ha!
Is that Kristaps?
He's like, "Yo, cuz, I'm the number one on the Knicks now."
He's like, "Melo left. This my town now."
"I'm the captain now. So suck my dick from the back, okay?"
Back to the wall.
"Michael Beasley who? ...outta here."
-Baow! Baow-baow! -Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
-He boxed them in. Yo! -Combo, combo, combo. Combo.
Homey in the green shirt's like, "Yo, I'm just trying to go to the lobby."
Guy in the green's like, "Yo, is this going down?
Y'all going downstairs?"
"Yo, nigga. Yo, I'm trying to get to housewares."
[ Laughter ]
-Nigga boxed them in, though. -Like, what was -- Damn!
He drugged everybody in that bitch.
You know what it is? He was like, "What?
Oh, you think the Knicks are only winning 12 games this season? All right.
All right. Boom-boom-boom! Mero said 58! Mero said 58!
-Respect it." -Respect that.
"His name is McBuckets. Come on!"
[ Laughter ]
"You telling me Michael Beasley ain't Melo from the left?!"
-Come on...outta here. -This is key.
When you're fight a group of attackers,
you have to hit the person with the most beautiful hair first.
Fam. He duffed the shit out of Mark Ruffalo.
God damn.
He was like, "Watch."
He's like, "Hey, what's up, man?"
-Pow! Pow! -Hold that. Oh, shit!
Yo, my man's kicking his legs.
They be on the 4 Train. "I'm helping. I'm helping.
"Yo. Here. Stop. Stop.
Yo, let me know if I make contact."
"Yo. He might trip on my shoelace!"
Hey, shout-out to de lo mío personal...
[ Speaking Spanish ]
...Dominicans and their endless creativity.
You know what I'm sayin'?
It's generally attached to being lazy.
You know what I mean? But we make it happen by any means.
Work smarter, not harder. Shout-out to Starlin Castro.
Starlin Castro. I would just like to point this out.
Starlin Castro looks how "I No...Baby" would look
if he grew up and was a regular adult.
Why has no one pointed this out?
Yo! That might be his pops on the low.
Like, look at this.
Yo, "I No...Baby" just came to reconnect with his dad.
Look at that. Listen. I want to make everyone claro.
That's a beautiful story. That'd be a beautiful story.
He came all the way from the D.R. to reconnect with his dad.
I just want to see the scene from "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."
I want to see Starlin Castro and "I No...Baby."
"Why he don't want me no more?!
He have cucaracha in his cabeza?!
Look at my dad."
Oh, but shout-out to the Yankees.
After washing the Rays... That's right!
You know what I'm sayin'? They was feeling --
When the Yankees are having fun,
they have a lot of fun in the dugout.
Look at this creativity shit, now.
Look at this.
Look at the fake press conference.
"You know what I'm sayin'? I'm that nigga right now.
Oh, they're feeling it right now.
You know what it is. You know what I mean?
Looking for that Wild Card, y'all.
You can catch me at Locksmith's bent, twisty.
You know what I'm sayin'? You feel me? I'm on 192nd..."
Ooh, you know who's hating this? Francesa. So mad.
He's like, "That's not what snacks are for!
"That's disgusting.
Why would you do that with a Gatorade bottle?!
Are you kidding me?! It's for hydration!
There's electrolytes in this...freaking sick?!
Steve, bring me another Diet Coke. I got to relax.
Starlin Castro! The disrespect he shows for the game!"
Unbelievable. You're not a star to me.
You're a lid.
I don't what that...means, but it means something."
Look at him. He was in the middle of saying something.
He's like, "Goddamn Dominicans!
He's like, "Why are their dicks so big?!
They're this big.
I went in the locker room. I seen...Mariano Duncan in '96.
He had a piscadile this long.
Oh, my God. It's like a Cat-5 cable just hanging from the roof!
They put an eye out with it!
You should have seen the braciole on this guy.
It was amazing! Uncut, too!"
[ Laughter ]
Yo. Yo!
♪♪
Yo, shout-out to the Republican senator from Virginia,
Tim Scott's, pitch for their new tax plan.
Oh, isn't this the guy that visited Trump,
and Trump was like, "Yo, I know a black guy. Look at him."
[ Funk music plays ]
Aw. Come on, man. Why's it gotta be all funky?
Tax reform is really about two things --
helping the average American
take home more of their pay... ♪ More of their pay ♪
...by taking less out of their pay... ♪ Shoo-bee-doo-wop ♪
...and growing our economy long-term. ♪ Long-term ♪
I'd like to put it very simply. ♪ Very simply ♪
We want to help you -- #KeepYoMoney.
-KeepYoMoney. KeepYoMoney. -♪ KeepYoMoney ♪
♪ Hey, Daddy, we want to keep our money ♪
♪♪
It's not that hard to be a black republican.
-You just cut the right check. -Yo, that's it.
My man printed that shit mad-fast on a dot matrix.
He was like, "Yo, G.O.P., can I get some money for an ad?"
They was like, "Nah, we're not doing no WorldStarHipHop shit."
They got no kind of after effects. Nah.
We want to help you -- #KeepYoMoney.
KeepYoMoney.
He was like, "Yo, is this straight?"
They was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
"Yeah, you good. You good. Don't worry."
That shit sound like the wild pyramid scheme.
-KeepYoMoney. -KeepYoMoney.
Buy a kit from me and then sell 10 more kits,
and you can KeepYoMoney.
♪♪
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