If you're found to be incompetent in the kitchen, Gordon's roasts are totally capable of sending
your ego right down the toilet.
We already showed you some of our favorite Gordon Ramsay insults, but one video couldn't
cover all of them.
Here are more of Gordon's best insults.
His Tongue-in-Cheek Apology Letter to Jamie Oliver
We all know how Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver can't put up with one another.
For many years the two have constantly been going at each other's throat each never missing
a chance to reassert that he's a better and more popular chef than the other.
On one of his appearances on the late night show on ITV, Gordon announced that he had
invited Jamie for an on-air let-up but that Jamie couldn't make it to the studio.
Gordon instead sat at his desk on stage and wrote while reading out loud this letter that
at first you would think might by any chance be a sincere apology from Gordon to Jamie
no matter how unlikely that would be.
Gordon actually did start with "I'm sorry," but then he followed it with a stream of apologies
for every insult Gordon has directed at Jamie, but we guess it's pretty obvious that he wasn't
doing it for the apology.
It was just another "Gordon Ramsay" way for slipping in a few more insults.
The freaking microwave has more qualifications than you
Gordon's visit to El Greco was not by any means a pleasant experience for whoever watched
it, let alone poor Gordon himself who had to taste these horrendous servings of microwaved
rubber that they called their food.
The bland stuffed zucchini and the pasty lamb shank that Gordon got looked like pieces of
edible depression.
Then the moussaka came and these were the first words that he blurted out, "If you saw
this food in a dog food bowl you would not think twice."
According to the waiter, it was the microwave, who they called "Chef Mike", was behind
that threefold nightmare.
He asked to meet the actual head chef and all the time as he spoke to him and the staff,
Gordon couldn't contain his despise for that unqualified and indifferent halfwit who actually
believed that he was making "high-end" food that Gordon just couldn't appreciate.
That's when the insult pushed its way out, "Executive chef?
Chef Mike, the freaking microwave, has more qualifications than you."
When he was met with yet more oblivion on the chef's part, he followed it with another
sucker punch, "I have come across quite a lot of executive chefs in my time, I have
never seen one quite like the sack of shit that is standing in front of me now."
You look like you're just about to lose your virginity
Gordon probably hates nothing in the world more than when a chef's stress gets in the
way of creating a beautiful display of culinary art.
Whenever he's served a dish that was made by such a chef, he can identify it right away
without even seeing them in person.
Hannah and Maso's was Gordon's host for that Valentine's Day kitchen nightmare.
He went with a picture of his wife that he put in front of him on the table so she can
share that romantic meal with him.
That's if you call bland soup, molten quiche, and raw lamb lollipops romantic.
When he asked to meet the chef, he found a guy who in a way was himself bland, molten,
and raw inside.
The guy had no taste and was too shaky for someone who's supposed to be the captain around
the kitchen.
He thought his life would be easier and better if he didn't own a restaurant and the last
decision he could remember taking was when he named the Turkey Panini the restaurant's
special.
As Gordon tried to bring some life into him, he looked at the wobbly chef and said, "You
look like you're just about to lose your virginity."
Thank f**k you're small
How this restaurant was being managed, especially in terms of finances, really ticked off Gordon
when he visited.
The owner and his wife were in 250,000 pounds worth of debt, but they weren't exactly losing
any sleep over it.
Quite the opposite, really.
The owner wouldn't compromise one bit on his unbounded extravagance and stayed insistent
on spending all of his unearned money on eBay buying second-hand equipment at rip-off prices
and cramming up his small kitchen.
As Gordon toured the place, he was growing more and more irritated with that absurdly
huge collection of eBay items that the owner had bought.
He met the chef in the kitchen and these humorous, yet pretty insulting words came out to cut
the tension, "Thank f**k you're small, you know that?"
He then looked at the owner and told him, "That's what you do.
You look for chefs on eBay, look at their size, their measurement, their weight then
import them, yes?"
It wasn't very nice of Gordon to mock the guy on TV like that, but you gotta admit…
that one was pretty hilarious.
The chef himself couldn't help himself but laugh at that.
I felt like I got a leak in my f**king bath, it was your bald head
River Rock Inn was a small 130-year-old hotel in Philadelphia where Gordon experienced a
true hotel hell.
Gordon was probably in a good mood during this visit, though, because all of his insults
to the hotel's crew of three including the owner were waggish and came with the typical
priceless facial expressions that Gordon gives whenever he's trying to stop himself from
bursting out with laughter at someone's incompetence.
When the manager took Gordon to his gloomy little room at first, he was welcomed by a
cockroach committee.
He then met the owner and asked him how he would rate the food and the owner's reply
had him saying, "I'm now shitting myself about dinner."
Gordon had already received enough hints about what he was in for as he entered the diner,
but the waiter was the one who really looked uneasy about the restaurant's apparent disaster.
As he stood there recommending frozen food for Gordon, his head started bursting with
sweat.
Gordon couldn't keep it in any longer, so with a smile full of crushing scorn he looked
at the guy's head and said: "I felt like I got a leak in my f**king bath, it was your
bald head."
90% good, 10% an asshole?
This Italian restaurant was having a special kind of problem that Gordon probably hadn't
faced in any other restaurant that he visited on Kitchen Nightmares.
The restaurant's main problem was that its head chef was a stroppy 22-year-old kid, or
as the owner put it, "90% of the time he does what he's supposed to do, but 10% of the time
he's an asshole."
Gordon didn't let that one slip.
As he went with the owner to meet the staff in the kitchen, he called out for the young
chef and introduced himself.
When he asked the guy what he did and he knows that this was the head chef causing all the
trouble, Gordon threw it right at him: "So, you're the 22-year-old who 90% is good but
10% is an asshole?"
Gordon couldn't stomach people who have an undeservedly inflated ego and it seemed like
no one in the place could stand the guy.
Gordon even got to know that he once tried to punch the waitress for telling him that
no one in the restaurant cared about him.
Honestly, this is one of the few cases where you can say that someone deserved more of
Gordon's wrath.
Show me that you're a man
In this episode, Gordon was trying to help this poor restaurant owner to stand on his
feet once again and start running his restaurant properly.
To do that, the owner had to fire one of his three managers in order to make room for a
new head chef that Gordon was recommending.
Gordon already had in mind one of the managers that he thought had to go.
He told the owner that this manager was manipulating him, wasn't even worth his weight in terms
of management expertise and that losing him was a huge win for the restaurant.
It was enough humiliation for this manager to stand with his coworkers listening as Gordon
Ramsay stomped over his entire career on TV.
You can bet that the man was all fired up hearing this, so after having heard enough,
the manager walked in and burst out with rage against Gordon for dissing him in front of
his employer like that.
Here's what Gordon had to tell the manager, "For the first time since I met you show me
that you're a man."
That was just before hitting him with a furious and unrestrained ego-shattering rant about
his total incompetence.
Unfortunately, you're talking out of your rear
Gordon is the first person in any room who is guaranteed to go completely nuts at a restaurant's
crew that isn't handling the situation correctly.
But if the work is being done and the best is being put into it under Gordon's own supervision,
you'd be down on your luck if you found in yourself the courage to walk up to him and
criticize the outcome.
That's just what this grumpy old lady did when Gordon was all busy with the staff at
this restaurant as they served their new menu on their first night.
Until she walked up to him, the feedback from all the customers had been very positive and
Gordon has been in the business long enough to know when someone actually has a critique
of the food or if they're just shoving their bad temper at it.
That lady wasn't showing the right attitude for Gordon to put up with when she came to
him, so after nodding with his head so politely for a couple of times as he heard her complaints,
he responded with this, "Okay, good.
But madam, unfortunately, you're talking out of your rear."
The woman was clearly in a state of shock and humiliation and Gordon beat her down once
again as he welcomed new customers while she stood nearby hearing him say, "So sorry about
the old bag."
An embarrassment to Kefalonia
As a Greek person opening a Greek restaurant, you must be pretty proud about your country
and most particularly proud of its food.
That's how the owner of this Greek restaurant was, but the only problem is, pride does not
necessarily bring out good food.
When Gordon paid this family restaurant a visit, none of the customers were satisfied
with what they were served.
Plates were being returned to the kitchen almost untouched and instead of focusing on
enhancing their food, they were too busy holding belly-dancing shows for the disgruntled customers.
The waiter, who was also the owner's son, got on his knees and carried three tables
on top of each other with his teeth.
His service was nothing like his teeth-clenching skills however.
When Gordon couldn't ignore the situation any longer, he gathered up the family in the
kitchen and ran a display of the hideous food that was coming back.
Remember what we said about the owner's pride in Greek cuisine?
Well, frustrated by how oblivious he was to the size of the disaster, that's exactly where
Gordon hit him when he said: "It's an embarrassment to Kefalonia."
Mike, the owner, went to sit in the backroom in tears after hearing this.
Gordon really knows how to break someone, doesn't he?
Judgement Day
When Gordon is angry with someone's performance, he comes at them with his iconic roasts.
There's another level on Gordon's rage-o-meter where he starts orchestrating the insults
instead of doing them himself.
That's what Gordon thought the owner of the Four Seasons Inn deserved for the hellhole
that he was running.
The place's decorations were worn out, most parts of the hotel were nasty and the pool
was too filthy for Gordon to step foot near it let alone in it.
Instead of cornering the owner and letting his f-bombs drop, Gordon gathered up some
of the hotel's latest guests in one room who had a terrible experience there.
Imagine being that owner and you walk into a room to find a line-up of unsatisfied people
that are all there to judge you.
That's not the best situation to be in.
And what added even more insult was the expert Gordon brought along, who was the general
manager of one of the Hilton hotels.
Gordon really didn't give that man's ego the slightest chance for recovery.
Shit chef, and a dishonest one
It's one thing to serve Gordon bad and tasteless food, it's a whole other thing to lie to him
and not stand up for your own mess.
If the first triggered Gordon's anger, the other triggered only his total disrespect.
Take Sebastian, for example.
When Gordon asked him about the calamari starter, he assured him that they were using fresh
calamari.
Gordon doesn't let these things go that easily, so he asked the waitress and she told him
that they were frozen.
He would have realized it for himself anyway as soon as he got the plate, which didn't
look all that fresh.
Seeing that, Gordon came to his conclusion about Sebastian, "That confirms two things:
shit chef, and a dishonest one."
The insults didn't stop here, Gordon sent the waitress back with a message to Sebastian
asking for a sick bag and when he got his main dish, Gordon thought it looked like a
can of dog food.
Sebastian received enough insults that he had to call his parents asking them how to
deal with the relentless Gordon Ramsay.
Apologies for the Owner's Performance
There were many things that seemed wrong with this hotel, beginning from the tablecloths
to the puke-like appetizer, and the pale and rubbery lamb lollipops.
There was one thing that everyone working at the hotel agreed on, including the general
manager that greeted Gordon and the waitress that served him - it was that the hotel's
gruesome failure is all due to its owner Callie, who they said was too controlling and rude
plus was driving people away with her attitude.
There was something that they forgot to mention about Callie, though, that Gordon had to witness
first-hand.
That was Callie's horrific Cher impersonation.
When she walked up during dinner and started singing, the customers were all obviously
creeped out by her hysterical performance.
Apparently, Gordon understood that insulting someone who's so offbeat was a waste of time
and probably even impossible.
Instead, he got up as she performed and walked up to other tables apologizing to the guests
for the horrific sounds that their ears fell victim to.
He then ended the insult with a premature applause that was obviously meant to get her
off stage as soon as possible.
It came out of a baby's diaper
If you're going to serve Gordon Ramsay food, at least let him know that you understand
that it's not exactly top quality.
If he finds it to be an abomination and all he hears from the staff was how high-end the
food was, he will really make you aware of every single bit of incompetence that exists
inside your restaurant.
The owner of the Old Stone Mill had to learn this the hard way.
The man was a bit defensive about the celebrity chef sitting down at his restaurant criticizing
the food and the service, so he tried to deny stuff at first.
The waiter made it even worse by lying about the frozen crab meat, telling Gordon it was
fresh.
Gordon started throwing around some jibes and at one moment he was really calling for
help with the chopped salad, "Please don't make me eat all that shit."
The lobster-stuffed Tilapia was what really sent shivers down Gordon's spine, though.
The moment he opened that bag, he said, "Looks like someone's had a shit in the bag he almost
stuck it in the oven".
When he sat down with the owner, he had to let him taste that food and when they came
to the Tilapia, Gordon confirmed its appearance on his plate, "It looks like it came out of
a baby's diaper."
I would like to flush these down the toilet
We know puns might be a cheap type of insult.
If you saw the first part of this video you would know that we're guilty of being fans
of Gordon's puns.
When he visited this Greek restaurant, Gordon unleashed one pun after another and although
the puns might have been unintended, the insults definitely were.
When Gordon ordered the Loukaniko, which he said looked like the remainder of something
that looked like a dog had chewed on, he got grease in a slightly different sense of the
word.
("Does that remind you of Greece?"
– 0:52) Here comes the ultimate pun though.
As he flipped around the pieces of sausage that floated in the grease-filled plate, Gordon
dropped this, "This area of Queens is called Flushing.
I would like to flush these down the toilet."
Actually, kudos for Gordon for being able to come up with witty lines like these while
eating such food.
The waitress ran away choking after having one bite off his plate.
There is more olive oil on this than Popeye's dick
As we reach the end of this video of another collection of Gordon Ramsay's insults, we
want to share with you a tribute that the great John Legend made exclusively out of
Gordon's insults over the years.
"I'll get you more pumpkin… or would you like it diced?
(0:22)" That was a selection of Gordon's absolute best lines sung and played by John Legend
in collaboration with Gordon himself.
Take a look, "You put so much oil in this, the U.S. wanted to invade the f*cking plate!
(0:47)" Now be honest!
Wouldn't you want to buy this album?
You have to admit that even in his worst fits of anger Gordon is still able to come up with
some of the wittiest insults that you'll hear on TV.
Here was our absolute favorite out of this track though, "Tere is more olive oil on this
than Popeye's dick."
As long as Gordon Ramsay is still on TV, we should expect more of these epic insults to
come.
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