Hi! how are you?
Not so good?
Okay, don't worry, today I'll try to help you
My name is Sabrina
Aww what a nice name you have, I love it!
Well, sit down, get comfortable and let's get started with this session
Okay, I'll try to calm down
Here it is! I'm so sorry, i thought I forgot my lucky earring.
It is so Important for me
I use it whenever I have to deal with a patient
Yes, it is my lucky earring
Yes, it's beautiful, thank you!
Well, we are ready, now you can start telling me what's bothering you
You've been a little bit anxious lately, okay
Can you attribute your anxiety to any recent event that has happened to your life recently?
Constant fights with your partner?
So typical, so typical
♪ ♫ hey, ho, le'ts go, hey ho, let's go ♪ ♫
Yeah, I'm listening to music
I'm SO sorry
I'm human too. Do you know how many people came before you telling me all their concerns and problems?
Ugh, my head feels like it's going to explode. I am human too.
I need to relax a bit.
Aw, it's so nice you can actually understand, thanks!
Don't worry, I'll be hearing most of what you say
Well,
You were telling me about your problems with your partner. So typical, so normal.
My eye is itching
Yeah! You noticed, yeah, these glasses don't actually have any lenses on them.
They're just for show, to look more intelectual
Yes, I can actually see, I don't need them
Well, now, can you try to describe a typical argument between you and your partner?
Oh my god! Does he says those things to you?!
Are you sure he loves you?
I don't know, If I were you, I wouldn't be so sure.
Did he say that too?
Oh my god, do you know what you should do? Tell him to go to hell!
Wait, and what did you tell him?
Okay, well, his response makes a little more sense now
Taking notes: She's also crazy.
Yes, it makes a little bit more sense what he told you
In response to THAT
But, anyways, if he's causing you any discomfort,
I would advise you, in my humble opinion and as a friend, tell him to go to hell, yeah
Aw, do you love him?
Well, yeah, mentally weak people use to be like you
And are you REALLY sure he loves you?
Because it's really silly to love somebody that doesn't love you back
Taking notes: She's silly.
Well, look
Do you know what I like to do when someone really bothers me and I can't hit them in real life?
I play videogames!
It's so cool, so therapeutic!
Session with a psychologist? Pfft.
You start playing GTA V, go around punching people on their faces
So therapeutic
YEAH, it's so violent, really violent.
And that's the good thing. Yeah.
Well, I'm giving this to you as an option, you do you.
Want to know another thing that really works for me whenever me and my partner fight?
I like to play fighthing games with him
So we grab a controller each, and start fighthing to death, for example while playing Mortal Kombat
Yeah,
As I was telling you, this is something super therapeutic, it always works for me
Yeah, it is so violent, right
But want to know what's worse? Punching each other in real life, that's something you should never do
Always through video games, that's what I like to recommend
What kind of game do I recommend? Hmm
It depends on how the fight was,
If it was a normal fight, I recommend Injustice
Yeah, It's a superhero fighting game, there are also villians,
I like to play with Harley Quinn
Yeah, because she's a psychologist just like me! I really identify with her!
Okay,
If the fight was rather violent,
and you're really angry, I recommend Mortal Kombat, as I was saying
Yeah, that one is so violent, but it helps release all the anger and stress
Good! I like it, you're starting to take my advise
If you don't then it's all in vain
Taking notes: She started taking my advise
As you might imagine, if you come here and don't do what I advise you to do, then your visit doesn't make any sense
Well, I don't know, is there anything else you want to tell me?
Yeah, I know we just started but I think I already gave you some really good solutions.
Oh, okay, so there's more
Well, you should have started by saying so
Tell me, what else is bothering you?
Work?
What's your schedule?
Five days a week, eight hours a day... well, pretty average, right?
Well, look, what can I tell you
You need to work
If not, you can start selling handmade jewelry on the streets as a hippie
Which isn't that bad of an option
Hmm, it doesn't suit you, okay
So, what can I tell you
You'll have to deal with it, sadly
It is like you work all your youth in order to have money to do cool things,
but you don't actually have any time for doing them
You can only do them when you don't work anymore , and by that time you will be old and won't have the energy
So, it is like life doesn't have any meaning, all thanks to that damn capitalism, but, oh great...
Taking notes: She's a hippie, doesn't want to work
I heard your phone ringing, yeah, that's very rude, but it's okay, it doesn't matter
If you're going to use it, I'm going to use it as well, then don't complain
Taking notes: Addicted to phone
For what I can see you have a serious addiction with your phone
No, you weren't just looking at the time, I saw you chatting
Are you chatting with your partner?
I see you're not following my advise
I told you to tell him to go to hell
Do as I tell you
Who is the psychologist here?
Right, ME!
Do as I tell you, tell him to go to hell. Block him!
You live together? It doesn't matter, block him anyways! Yeah
That's okay, now, calm down
Do you feel a little better?
Aw! How cool, I'm so happy
Yeah, I'm a really really good psychologist
But know what? I attribute it all to my lucky earring, it has powers
It really does
Shhh
Okay, let's keep on going, anything else bothering you?
Your cat got hit by a car last week?
Oh my god, is he alive? yeah?
How did it happen?
You left the door open? You're a murderer!
Mur - de - rer
Taking notes: animal killer
No, he wasn't killed, but what would have happened if he was?
If there's something that makes me sad, It's when people mess with animals
Look I would ask you to leave but I know you didn't do it because you're bad, you're just dumb
Yeah, you almost get your cat killed because you let the door open!
Okay. I'll calm down!
No, no, I won't apologize
Take responsability, it's okay for you to feel guilty!
It was your fault for leaving the door open, you should take care of your pets!
You know, all this reminds me of this episode with this one cat I had when I was little, her name was Priscila...
I know you're the client... I mean, patient!
I could hear me anyways and be a little compassionate!
Taking notes: Lack of humanity!
Okay, I won't tell you my story
No, I won't tell you, It's okay, I got mad already
Well, let's calm down, It's okay... don't worry! I forgive you for what you did to your cat!
Yeah, I know you didn't do it on purpose,but you have to close the door if you have pets!
It's okay, don't cry
We've all been dumb sometime
Yeah,
Well, I keep hearing you, if there's anything else you want to tell me, just go ahead...
Again, work
What happens?
A workmate is being nasty to you...
Look, you should apply the same advise I gave you for your partner
You, really calmly and after taking some deep breaths, you can tell him TO GO TO HELL
Yeah,
That's how you solve all problems in life
If someone bothers you, tell that person to go to hell and that's it
Yeah, it's a really good piece of advise
It has worked for me before!
Well,
Know what? I feel that your problem is that you worry too much about what others say or think about you
Am I right?
Aw, my love...
First of all, let me tell you something that will really help you
Nobody cares about what others do
They are all worried about themselves, thinking that other people are judging them
So, in the end, they are all worried about just themselves
Yeah,
Secondly, never force yourself to do something you don't really want just for what other people will think or say
Thirdly... wait, was this the third piece of advise? I always get lost with numbers
Well, thirdly, If someone bothers you, then that person shouldn't be in your life so you need to tell them to go to hell.
Yeah, it really works
I started doing it and...
it works!
Well...
Something else?
No?
Well, look, I wanted to ask you something
I've been practising something I've seen on the movies
And yeah,
I would like to try this with you
Oh, you want to know what it is beforehand, I think it's fair
I wanted to practise some kind of hypnosis with you
Aww, would you let me? how sweet!
Thank you. thank you, thank you. No, really, THANK YOU!
Well, look, here I have I have my pendulum
Do you like it?
Well, yeah, it is a Bulbasaur necklace but it will get the job done!
Do you like Pokémon?
Aww me too! I love it
Yeah, I liked it before Pokémon GO... yeah, they are all posers!
Well, I'll ask you to follow Bulbasaur with your eyes
Focus on him
Soo... I think goes something like this...
Hi...
Your eyelids grow really, really heavy
You're tired, really tired...
Yeah, follow Bulbasaur
Follow him with your eyes...
You're really, really tired...
Your eyelids are growing more and more heavy
Good...
Now, you're getting into a trance
When I snap my fingers, you're going to be under my command
Good,
Now, give me all of your money!
Give me all of your mon---
Aw, you were not under a trance! You should have told me
I was just being silly, I knew this was not going to work
Well,
If you let me, we can try one last time
Aw, thank you, how sweet!
I'm not that good at hypnotizing yet, but I think someday I will get someone to give me all their money
If you want, for now I can try to hypnotize you to sleep
There you go, focus again on Bulbasaur!
Yes, you can sleep. You can stay here all night sleeping if you wish.
Once again, focus on my pedulum... well, on Bulbasaur
Your eyes are growing tired...
Your eyes are growing tired, so so tired!
You just follow the pedulum
Good...
You're eyelids are growing so heavy, you're feeling really, really tired
Now, I'll count from 20 to 0, and by the time I get to 0, you'll already have fallen asleep
Twenty
Nineteen
Eighteen
Seventeen
Sixteen
Fifteen
Fourteen
Thirteen
Twelve
Eleven
Ten
Nine
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
One
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