it may come as no surprise to that accountability staying accountable and
staying on track is sometimes just sometimes a bit of a struggle for us
enfps and in this video I want to share how
we're different in terms of our wiring with accountability and how we can hold
ourselves accountable and actually follow through on things this may also
be very important actually even more important if you are dating living with
or working with an ENFP and you'll be able to figure out how to help hold them
accountable so they can get things done because the traditional way does not
work so well so a bit of quick backstory here is I am an ENFP personality myself
but I also run a coaching business in addition to making these lovely videos
where I don't exclusively coach enfps but maybe because of my videos here or
just the life I have where I live abroad and have my own business and all this
stuff I tend to attract quite a few ENFP and INFP clients so I one-on-one worked with a
lot of you know peace some of which who are very successful and gotten a lot of
insights into the mindset and how we work and how we're different than other
people but can still succeed and do really really awesome in life if we know
ourselves and we know our operating system so with accountability the
traditional way when people come to me as a coach is they think of a coach is
like a kind of parent like hey can you make me do that can you tell me when to
do that and my answer is no that is not going to be very fun for me to have to
keep like a checklist and I know there's lots of your coaches who do that who
kind of function like an assistant almost like they track things for you
and make sure you're following through but that is not what I do and that is
not going to actually work for an ENFP you're not going to be held accountable
properly by just doing like a list or having someone else tell you to do it
probably the worst long-term is having someone else tell you to do it and to
get accountability that way thing is it might work in the short-term
like if you have a lot of external pressure from a boss or a parent you
probably will work for you the thing is is then your atrophying your own
internal accountability more and more so let's say you have a job the first
couple months you're like okay the pressure from the boss and that becomes
your accountability so after four years five years you're wondering like why
haven't I started my own business yet I've been talking about this for three
four years about how this job was going to be temporary and I was going to start
my own business well the reason is is all your accountability has been shifted
to external accountability from your boss just telling you what to do and
that is not going to work very well with starting your own business where you are
the boss and you can see the conflict there how that works right so as an ENFP
the way to hold yourself accountable the way that's going to work really well is
to come up with a clear statement something that you cannot turn around
you cannot adjust you cannot find excuses for have a clear statement of
what you're going to do and then commit to that to someone else they do not hold
you accountable but you externally or you commit to someone externally this
could be a group of people or just one person and here's why that works so well
is as in FPS we hate hypocrites we hate people who lie who are inauthentic who
say something that they aren't going to do that isn't true at least the enfps
are good there's some evil ones and stuff like that now a lot of it the
funny thing with this is a lot of enfps come off as very flaky or like I don't
not necessarily just honest but they come off as dishonest because they say
they're going to do something and they don't do it but what's happening
internally for an ENFP is they didn't say they would do something and not do
it they didn't lie they changed their direction for good reasons because as an
ENFP you are able to bullshit everyone including yourself
when you want to quit something rather than just owning up to it in st. I quit
this I gave up you find an excuse you find a reason you justify it after and
because you're such a good bullshitter you can justify it to yourself and to
other people so even if you had a coach like I had a coach once who held me
accountable to this like old school system like she'd write a list of okay
next week you'll have done these things it never worked because I was smarter
than her and I could BS around it so if I didn't do something I would kind of
come up with an excuse and a reason and she'd never just say Dan you're full of
shit you didn't do it like you're a liar she would oh that makes sense right
because I could just make up stuff and probably you are the same or the ENFP
that you're trying to work with is the same now know that most of the time we
don't BS with negative intentions we're not trying to be bad people but it's
just how we're kind of wired in terms of justifying stuff and our emotions will
lead us and then we'll rationalize it later so this is where the second part
comes in whatever statement you commit to whatever outcome it has to be really
clear so you have to word it in a way where there's no getting out of it
there's no changing direction later so it should be a very clear statement for
example when I was finishing this draft of the book I finished recently what it
was I will complete draft by this date and it will be at least 40,000 words and
it was very clear now in my case I actually ended up asking for an
extension to the group that I was holding myself accountable to but I left
it up to them so I said hey guys I know I committed to this date I'm a week away
I don't think the book will be the quality it can be if I have to finish it
in this week it's going to be really rushed can I finish it within three
weeks let me know if you think I'm biessing or this is legitimate and they
said that sounds legitimate and I and it was legitimate it was
really a case of making a book of better quality but that's what I would say to
do is have a clear statement a clear outcome essentially you commit it to
someone else so you don't make someone else say hey you're going to do this and
you say right you have to say I am going to do this I am going to finish this
book by May 17th and it will be at least 40,000 words I promise you that and then
you are committed and generally enfps at least as I said the good ones we don't
want to be liars we don't want to let people down and so this is the best way
to hold yourself accountable is by making this statement to someone else
that way there's no sort of change in it like ideally you make it in writing as
well as verbally and that way there's yeah you can't adjust it you can't kind
of vaguely remember it and like what did I commit to and adjust it you just have
a clear commitment that you'll hold yourself to and you're holding yourself
to because it's a reflection of your character because it's something that
you've committed to and you don't want to be a hypocrite you don't want to be
someone who lies to people and lets them down and ultimately good way to see it
is if you tell someone you will do something and you don't it might be good
to see that as a lie not to beat yourself up over but as kind of
motivation to not want to be a liar and to want to hold yourself accountable
with it so that's it that's kind of my my tip here on how do you follow through
and be accountable or if you're working so quickly if you're working with an
ENFP or you're dating one living with one
whatever what you want to do is help them come to their conclusions and
commit to you you might want to share the video with them and I would guess
they will agree with you with it and and then come to that compromise together
risa okay like can I help you come to these commitments or whatever involve
them in that process if you have an employee who is an ENFP they're not
going to do as good of work if you just make them do stuff as if they feel like
they're part of that decision-making process and they come
to the outcome themselves as well and that so create a clear outcome do this
as the ENFP internally where you come up with it
and are just yeah committed to it yourself and then make sure it's clear
and that at least one other person knows about it and you're going to find you
get a lot better result and you're much more likely to remain accountable and
follow through on whatever it is you promised you would do if you've enjoyed
this video then follow through and subscribe to the channel because I make
new videos every Monday Wednesday and Friday I also have a ton of videos about
a couple different personality types but particularly the ENFP personality type
and I'll link to a few of those at the end of the video that you should
definitely check out and that's it catch you in another video soon
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