Licorice...
Yeah, it'll give you extra special energy.
Awesome, thanks.
I'm a little vulnerable to begin with
as I'm walking into a ballet
written on my music and my life.
And so...oh!
Do you wanna say something?
No.
Dance is a semi abstract art form,
and you're capturing the essence of something,
you're not trying to describe it in detail.
It really is about capturing her ethos,
which is a different thing than her life.
Isn't that beautiful?
Yeah. It's a lot of work.
So, there's actually 16 drawings,
'cause there's 18 songs in the ballet.
Wow, you guys are workin' hard.
Jean: Yeah.
♪ Constant craving
Has always been
Maybe a great magnet pulls ♪
The Prairies is where a tree would be an event.
Is what my, my uh, where I grew up
and informed my minimalist aesthetic, and um,
I think informed the way I sing.
Long, languid notes, using vibrato carefully, and um,
yeah, space is a big thing, even personally, you know.
I need a lot of space.
Jean: When I approached her,
I asked her if she would consider, you know,
that I set the ballet in the Prairies
where she was born and where, her vision of life
and how it connected to her spirituality,
and she was very happy about that.
I'm not a very studious person
and I'm not very academic, and I don't read very much.
But um, to me, I spend a lot of time outside
and what I do read is nature.
I read the way birds fly or decide where to build a nest,
or I watch dogs interact,
and watch the way clouds move through the sky
or trees come and go.
I don't know, to me the same amount of information is there.
It's just where you choose to sort of focus your intellect.
And I just feel better when I'm in nature,
I feel better when I have a close relationship to nature.
♪ Inglewood, won't you treat me gentle
I left my heart on the west side
I'm lookin' for somewhere I can settle
Make ready for the rest of my life ♪
Jean: But it was for a woman of her intellect
and her artistic, uh, talent
to grow up in a town called Consort
and to slowly emerge truly as herself on the world scene.
I have so much to learn from how kd lang looks at music
and how she interprets music now, and at our time,
and how it relates to what we're living today
as, as human beings.
It's my offering, it's what I have to give.
It's the best of me.
Maybe because I'm not, not extremely talented,
I'm good at maybe one thing, so I just offer what I have.
♪ The place where I should have been
Inglewood, I don't mind your rainy weather ♪
Jean: You know, I always had this impression
you sing for someone far away.
In your voice, you know?
Well, it's funny because I actually,
I actually think that singing outside
which is where I really developed my voice
and my projection, and also in hockey rinks,
like in the summer when they were empty.
Jean: Yeah.
So I, or churches 'cause they were always open
and I would just walk down.
So I went into these big, vast spaces
to learn how to sing actually.
♪ The rest of our lives
Kd: The space and the emptiness of the Prairies
was the vast canvas that music filled,
and I didn't need much stimulation because
actually the emptiness was to me more important.
You see, I'm a big sports fan
and obviously I'm a big art fan,
so ballet brings those two worlds together,
and um, and I love it.
Jean: The reason why they're interested in these projects
is that it's something they've never done,
it's something completely new.
And I always say to them, you know, we're gonna
we have 32 world class dancers
who are gonna give metaphorical life
to your lyrics and your songs.
And so, you know, it's a treat for a composer actually
to see people dancing to their music.
Four and five and six and seven and...
yes, and you look at the floor.
I'm going to have a very erotic tableau.
Hmmm.
And I'm going to push it,
even by Alberta standards to try to really
because the song is there, right?
It's all in the lyrics.
Great, nothing, nothing like controversy.
All the work that's gone into it, it's just uh,
it's, it's humbling because this,
Jean's really, and everyone who's working on it is, uh,
is doing me, my music such a service by
by making it look legitimate.
♪
She was a big boned gal from southern Alberta
You just couldn't call her small
You can bet every Saturday night
She'd be heading for the legion hall
Put her blue dress on and she'd curl her hair
Oh, she's been waiting all week
With a bounce in her step and a wiggle in her walk
She'd be swingin' down the street
You could tell she was ready by the look in her eye
As she slipped in through the crowd
She walked with grace as she entered the place
Yeah, the big boned girl was proud
Hey, hey the big boned gal
Ain't no doubt she's a natural
Shakin' and a snakin' and a breakin' up across the floor
Hey, hey the big boned gal
Ain't no doubt she's a natural
Reelin' and a rockin' and she's yellin' out for more ♪
What does it mean, Big Boned Gal, to you?
What does that word, what do those words mean to you?
A strong, um, vivacious, uh, woman
who's comfortable in her own skin.
Yep, yep, pretty much. It was my next door neighbor.
Really?
And she was a really big woman, and
but she could dance so beautifully, yeah.
♪ She'd be heading for the legion hall
You could tell she was ready by the look in her eye
As she slipped in through the crowd
She walked with grace as she entered the place
Yeah, the big boned ... ♪
Kd: I think the unrestrained, unconscious
uncontrived spark of love is, is a magical thing.
I just, uh, you know when, when it's innocent
and it's free and it's, just a, nature.
You know? It's nature.
Jean: Letting it happen.
Kd: Letting it happen.
♪ Ain't no doubt she's a natural
Reelin and a rockin' and she's yellin' out for more
Hey, hey the big boned gal
Ain't no doubt she's a natural
Reelin and a rockin' and she's yellin' out for more ♪
♪
I was alright for a while
I could smile for a while
Then I saw you last night
You held my hand so tight
When you stopped to say hello
You wished me well
You couldn't tell
That I've been crying over you
Crying over you
Then you said so long ♪
Kd: I'm interested, not because it's the music of kd lang but
I guess because of it's the music of kd lang,
um, I guess I'm kind of inching into
the whole sexuality thing
and what it was like to make a story about a l-,
basically a love story.
Did you grapple with that
or did you have any thoughts, or concerns?
It doesn't matter who it is,
love is love at the end of the day.
So if she were a male principle or, you know,
my dog or something, like,
there's still that sense of emotion there
and you can't fake it, you just go there.
And you know where to draw from for that.
Yeah. That's exactly how I feel when I write the music too.
I think art should and hopefully transcends
all those boundaries that we pt up for each other all the time.
♪ Cryin' over you
Cryin' over you
Yes, and now you're gone
And from this moment on
I'll be crying
Crying
Crying
Crying
Crying
Crying
Over you ♪
Over you ♪
The first time, you know, we had to kiss
and getting on stage and doing that
but then when we had to do the filming,
"Oh yeah, we've done this before, it's easy."
You guys pr-, you mean you guys practiced?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Excellent. I like that idea. I need to do some more of that.
Nicole: Practice makes perfect.
Yeah, exactly.
mmunity you grew up with
because I asked you what was it like growing up gay in Consort,
you know, and you said, you know,
"When I grew up gay in Consort
I didn't know that people were judging it.
It's when I went to the big city
that I realized people had an issue with it."
Yeah. I was a practicing gay
before I even knew that it was something called gay.
Jean: Yeah.
So yeah, so. It was a shock when I found out
not everyone was doing it.
♪
Perfect day in the Prairies probably would be
a great picnic, some really good gluten free beer,
a blanket, somebody I really like and a nap.
♪ Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin
And constant craving
Has always been
Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls to what's true
Or maybe it is life itself
Feeds wisdom... ♪
Kd: It's emotionally convoluted, quite honestly,
to, to watch people interpret
through the physicality of dance and,
but it doesn't stop there.
It's the dance, it's the costumes,
it's the lights, it's the video, it's uh,
and to see people put that much effort
in conjunction with your music is, is,
quite emotional, yeah.
Jean: I understand why they're apprehensive,
because we're actually creating a portrait of them
or of their music, and we're unveiling it
and they haven't seen anything yet.
They barely know us.
You know, they trust us implicitly,
but it's a big risk for them too, you know,
what are we going to say
and how are we going to represent their music?
And I'm sure it crosses their mind
that if they don't like it what are they going to say,
because they know we work so hard on it.
When the dress rehearsal began,
I started to see that she started laughing,
and then her friend next to her kept saying "This is wonderful"
By the end I could see that she was actually very serious,
and then she started really analyzing it
and she started giving me a lot of notes
about music and the sound, the quality of sound
and the balance of sound
and then a few notes on interpretation
from some of the dancers,
and that was interesting
because at that moment I said, "Okay, she's in it,"
you know, she really wants to be a part of this.
♪ Constant craving
Has always been
Constant craving
Has always been ♪
I don't really remember my first kiss.
I think it was with a boy.
I'm sure it was alright.
♪ A ha, constant craving
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been ♪
Jean: Yeah, I think we could push it a little more
for Alberta audience,
in Montreal I could go a lot further.
Kd: I'm, I'm surprised how far you've taken it already.
Me too, to be honest.
Uh, I don't kn-, I don't know who's gonna be in more trouble,
you or me.
I've already been in trouble for it, so.
I hope they focus on you, 'cause I'm tired.
Well this is all ballet.
I am a fine dancer myself, and uh...
I'm a little, I'm a little disappointed that he didn't
use any of my actual moves but...
I'm gonna talk to him about that.
♪ There is a town in north Ontario
With dream, comfort, memory to spare
And in my mind I still need a place to go
All my changes were there ♪
We're taught as students of Buddhism
that desire is, uh, it's a poison,
and you know, as human beings we always think,
especially as artists, we think desire is so great
because it, it, it uh, feeds your momentum,
adds to your, you know, your lust for creation.
I think it's being a part of human, you know?
We're born human right now,
and so I guess you kind of have to use it as a tool.
♪ Shadows in our eyes
Leaves us helpless, helpless, helpless
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now
The chains are locked and tied around my door
And baby will you sing with me somehow
Helpless helpless helpless ♪
Jean: So everybody's lost a lover in life,
everybody's suffered pain and joy
and we've all lived these extraordinary emotions,
and her music captures all of those emotions
so beautifully.
So I think it's unavoidable that they're going to see
some of the ballet as part of their life
because that's what the music does.
And then I thought, "So she falls in love with her
and she's crying already for her,
she's already suffering the desire of love
before she even consumed it with her."
Kd: Umm hmm.
So in that sense I thought it was interesting
within that approach of desire that's in Buddhism,
you know, desire creates pain.
♪ Blue, blue windows behind the stars
Yellow moon on the rise
Big birds flyin' across the sky
Throwin' shadows in our eyes
Leaves us helpless, helpless, helpless
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Helpless, helpless
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Helpless, helpless, helpless ♪
ngs
were completely different than the way I would interpret them.
Like Helpless, for example.
Yeah.
I have a completely different
emotional interpretation of Helpless
than what I saw in the dance.
Helpless, I knew she, she had to leave the Prairies
to come back to the Prairies,
there had to be a, the voyage of the, this character.
And in my heart I knew she wouldn't just leave them,
you know, even though she was curious
and probably would travel in her life,
but to leave them and start a new life somewhere else
there, it needed to be the impetus of that.
My music is my lover truly, probably.
Jean: Yeah.
And uh, you know, my music did wanna go to the big city,
it didn't wanna stay in the Prairies.
Kd: You know, LA is, uh, very tantalizing and titillating
and, uh, tempting.
It is kind of addictive like sugar,
it's very, you know, it's candy,
and you can get high on it and then you crash.
At least I did.
I was there when a lot of things were happening.
When supermodels were big and when Madonna was big,
I was right, right there. I was right in the middle of it.
And yeah, I saw a lot.
♪ Oh sweet thing you're just like a sugar buzz
Doin' to me just what sugar does
The heart is full if it ever was
I so high like I was on some devil's drug
You lift me up
Straight to the top
Suspended bliss
Until I drop
Can't get enough
I can't live without it
Can't get enough
Of what this love does to me, to me
Sugar buzz ♪
It was a tough one for me, Sugar Buzz,
'cause it, I had to have that feeling of, I didn't,
I don't want to be here, but then again
every time I look at her, like,
I was so happy that she was happy
but yet I wasn't comfortable in my own skin there.
Yeah, I got the feeling that you were a bit threatened
by the fact that the lifestyle was gonna steal her from you.
Um hmm. Oh yeah.
Which it did.
Kd: Which it did, yeah.
I, I don't know if it's ever been said on camera,
this is not a clear cut story of my life, by the way.
I just want everyone to know that.
My life is far less interesting but it's not,
this isn't exactly the story of my life.
Um, 'cause I was kind of both of you
smooshed together.
I wanted to get out of the Prairie,
and yet I was leery at the same time.
♪ What this love does to me
Sugar buzz ♪
♪ These immoral questions
This trial of faith that we go through
The fuel of our oppressions
Is the fuel of freedom too ♪
Kd: Changed the way I thought about Acquiesce,
'cause I've pretty much not thought about Acquiesce.
The way Jean used it really,
it foreshadowed what was about to happen in my life
because actually I wrote Acquiesce
before I became a Buddhist practitioner,
so the way he used it, it, very perceptive of him I thought.
And um, made me really like that song again, so.
Thank you Jean.
♪ Offer our confessions
Offer ourselves to you
Acquiesce, acquiesce, acquiesce acquiesce
All in us ♪
♪ We made love last night
Wasn't good, wasn't bad
Intimate stranger
Made me kinda sad
And then when I woke up this morning
Coffee wasn't on
It slowly dawned on me that my baby was gone ♪
Kd: Talk to me about the transition from something,
sort of a spiritual emancipation from Acquiesce
to the impermanence and the, the deflation of everything
and the, the aloneness of something
like Jane Siberry's Hain't It Funny.
One thing I learned from Shakespeare
you know, from doing Romeo and Juliet,
especially because you get close,
he would put the most beautiful love scene
next to the most painful deaths or violence.
And, and in theatre you realize that's a great law, you know?
To go from bring your audience to this moment of elation
and then the next moment she has to give
like a butterfly, give the child away.
Kd: Well, see, I love that idea, because it's...
Jean: And that's how her life is, isn't it?
Kd: Yeah, non-dual thinking, non-duality.
Not seeing everything as the same.
Jean: Yeah.
Kd: I love that.
Jean: As much as you can sing great joy
you can sing that much pain, you know.
And I said, after Acquiesce which was this,
it feels like a moment of liberation,
suddenly she sees betrayal
and in one moment she's left alone in this big city.
♪
♪
♪
♪
The tree then whispered
Have you heard the lullaby of the hungry bird
that nests in me?
Every day around noon
Sings a particularly alluring tune
That makes me weep
Hungry bird, tell me why
I pray and pray and pray that I
Turn to seed
One thing that confounds me yet
why I just can't let myself be free
Why sing if you've got no one to hear you
Why fly if you've got nowhere to go
A thousand arms from which you could choose now
Oh but... ♪
The ballet's half choreographed,
it's a journey, it's an odyssey for the lead character,
she goes through a lot.
And then she returns home to connect with the land
and to connect, and to find her anchor,
you know, so that she can go on living,
uh, find some kind of balance and peace.
And I said, you know, I'm using the song Hungry Bird,
and I don't know why I'm using that song.
Kd: Well, it means a lot of things,
but it basically means being, um,
honoring your instincts and honoring your desires,
not in a frivolous way
but in a, in a, in an honest and a genuine way,
in a way that you are aware of what feeds you,
what your muse is, what your true sort of... source is.
And uh, yeah, it's about not, not caging yourself.
♪ ...myself be free
Why sing if you've got no one to hear you
Why fly if you've got nowhere to go
A thousand arms from which you could choose now
Oh, but hungry bird, claim this bough ♪
Kd: You know, I think I mentioned in passing
that the crow was a significant part of what is my muse.
You really incorporated it into the ballet.
It almost was the thread,
it was the ch-, the lead character's true guide.
That and the music.
You have the crow kind of leading us back to the Prairie.
You saw the crow more through the Buddhist interpretation,
the protector.
Keeping in the mind that it had to be like a fairy tale,
surrealist story that had reality and,
and unreality, you know.
The crow would be the leading protective angel
of, of the character to, to lead her back.
♪
Maybe it was to learn how to love
Maybe it was to learn how to leave
Or maybe it was for the games that we play
Maybe it was to learn how to choose
Maybe it was to learn how to lose
Or maybe it was for love that we made
Love was everything they said it would be
Love made sweet and sad the same
But love forgot to make me too blind to see
You're chickening out, aren't you?
You're bangin' on the beach like an old tin drum
I can't wait for you
To make the whole kingdom come
So I'm leavin' ♪
Jean: I thought, "That's the song
that will bring her back to the Prairies,"
and it's gonna be the, not the people but
this bird that brings her back, nature,
all the things that were important to her there.
That's a beautiful story in these journeys, you know?
Like, she went through this darkness,
came out at the other end,
found herself again in the Prairies,
her friend the crow's back, you know,
everything's back, and then Love Is Everything.
So she, it's, it's not cynical,
she could have come out of that broken heart cynical.
Kd: Yeah.
But she comes out even with a bigger heart.
Yeah, it's so interesting to have someone
create a story based on the composite stories of mine.
Yes.
Yeah, it's really interesting.
To see the eclecticity or to hear it,
and to see it, and to feel it
yeah, I, I have to say it did make me feel pretty proud
and, and it made me really trust you
as an artist.
♪ ...never be the same
And find it in your heart
To kneel down and say
I gave my love, didn't I
And I gave it big sometimes
And I gave it in my own sweet time
I'm just leavin'
I'm just leavin' ♪
♪
♪
Heard there was a secret chord
David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
A barefoot king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah ♪
Jean: What we always want people to come away with
is first that they be even more profoundly connected
to the singer
and, and to their repertoire and to their ec-,
their eclectic career and their entire legacy.
We want them to rediscover these singers
and maybe discover dimensions of them they didn't know.
Uh, and so, you know, and what kd, what she cares about
and what this, you know, that love belongs to all,
not to those who decide who should love.
And we never choose the one we love anyway.
♪ From your lips she drew Hallelujah
Kd: Love, of course, is wonderful
as long as you really understand it's unconditional
and uh, yeah. Love is good.
♪ Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah ♪
Hallelujah ♪
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