How's it going everyone I'm Dono and
this is how to happy. In this video we're
going to be talking about how to find
work/life balance a little bit better. So
let's start with a story, you wake up
groggily and you got a real bad pain in
your neck. You notice as you reach under
your head that you've got a sweater under
your head as a pillow and you start
thinking where on earth am i as you start
to open your eyes and look around you
realize that you're in the office and
you're like wow really? It's the third
day in a row that you've slept in your
office and you know your necks all stiff
and as you get up you're so excited
about the project you have you run back
to start doing it even though you've
already worked 60 hours this week. That
might not have been quite what you
expected me to say but I think there's a
lot of interesting things around
work-life balance primarily in the
category of assumptions. There's a lot of
weird things that people think have to
happen for work-life balance. For example
if people think that you work too much you
get labeled as a workaholic which is
really interesting to me because if
you're working around 60 70 80 hours a
week and you're truly happy with that I
don't see any reason why someone should
tell you to do something else unless
it's impacting your health or you're not
actually happy. But if that's what you
enjoy then there shouldn't be any reason
that there's a limit or a certain number
of hours you should work. The same works
the other way around right if you can
put your whole life together on 20 hours
a week and you can do exactly what you
want to you make enough money and you're
really happy with that then you should
do that. What happens is people put their
values and what they think they should
work on to other people and try to
transmit those values. Now that doesn't
necessarily work because if it's not
what makes you happy then it doesn't
make sense. Now the problem is a lot of
times people let this pressure get to
them, oh I worked 70 hours this week
maybe I do work too much - which is a good
question to ask yourself to reflect but
if you find out that you're actually
happy then you shouldn't change what
you're doing now. I also understand if
you're working a number of hours that's
not what you prefer right. Maybe you're
working those 80 hours and you really
hate it that's a different scenario and
I understand that so let's dig into that
a little deeper because if you're
working that much and you don't like it
why are you doing it right? There has to
be a why underneath that if you're just
doing it for no reason and you're
miserable then yeah you should work less
you should find something else to do.
Like if you're working that much just to
make a hundred thousand dollars a year
but that doesn't actually provide any
happiness to you then you should revisit
what you're doing. Maybe you could be
much happier at 50,000 a year because
you can pay attention to how you're
budgeting and activities you like to do
and all that stuff and you realize that
that's a much better fit for you or if
you're working that much just because
that's what you're accustomed to that's
not really a good reason to continue
working that much right. It might be
easier because that's the lifestyle that
you've built out but for your own
happiness you're going to need to make
some changes so you have to start asking
yourself these questions. Why am i
working this much? Is it to afford a car?
Do I need a car this nice? Do I want that?
Does that make me happy? Do i need this
size of house? Do i need to make this
much money to be happy? What things are
actually influencing your happiness? A
lot of times when people are working too
much and their work life is out of
balance it's because they don't actually
know how much money they need to be
happy so do an audit of what you're
making and then see how you can spend
that money to create happiness. You have
to ask yourself are your work hours
worth what you're buying with them? Are
they bringing you as much joy as you're
investing of your time and energy? On top
of that you get to make these choices if
you actually do this audit of your life
and figure out what you care about and
figure out if you need to work more or
less then you can start making changes.
It may not be easy and it may take some
time but these are the kinds of things
you can change. If you're in a job making
six figures and you absolutely hate it
you can start looking for other things.
You have the ability to change these
outcomes to get your life more in
balance. What you got to do is start
making a plan and start executing
towards it now I also understand that
sometimes it's a little bit more
complicated maybe you have a family and
you need six figures a year to try to
keep them at the current lifestyle so
then you have to ask yourself even
harder questions and figure out what you
value. Do they really need that much
money in order to survive or could you
change some things up and still have the
same level of happiness? If at the end of
that you find out no you actually have
to make that much money then when you're
working those long hours let that value
drive you let the knowledge that what
you're doing is for your family to have
a better life drive you instead of just
being like I hate this but it makes them
happy. You have to reframe it in your
mind as I'm working really hard so that
they can have a better life but then
also you need to be looking for other
opportunities because there's more
opportunities out there right. We often
have this idea that because we're doing
something that's what we're stuck doing
but if we start looking for
opportunities and we start looking for
adjustments often we can find other ways
to reach the same goals and maintain or
increase our levels of happiness. So if
you're not looking at other alternatives
then you need to start doing that
otherwise you just need to remember that
you're working those hard hours for a
reason and let that drive you. I know
it's easier said than done I get that I
know that we all want to make more money
and work less and yada yada yada I get
that the key part of that is that you
just have to start somewhere. If you're
not happy with your work life balance
you need to start making adjustments
whatever they are. It may take you a
while to get where you want to be but if
you don't start looking for
opportunities and you don't change
anything then you're going to be stuck
in that position for a long time. If you're
not sure whether the work-life balance
is working out for you, you need to take
time to reflect on it. A lot of times we
feel stuck in whatever it is we're doing
but that's not necessarily the truth
people make big career transitions all
the time. Now it's not going to be easy
but if it results in greater happiness
later it's worth it or even if it
results in greater happiness through the
transition it's worth it, you
need to intentionally move towards these
things that are going to make you
happier and give your life more balance
otherwise you're never going to achieve
them. These things don't just happen by
chance so you need to pay attention and
you need to intentionally make moves to
change things. Luckily there is an
infinite amount of opportunity out there
you can do so much. Now you may not be
able to do one very super specific plan
but if you keep chipping away at
different ideas eventually you're going
to start making some progress so if you
do some reflection and feel like you're
not in the place that you want to be
start sketching out a plan. Start today
figure out something that you can change
and as you start changing these little
pieces you get closer and closer to what
you actually want instead of spending
years and years and years and then
looking back and regretting what you did.
Let's move on to the exercise section so
for today's exercises number one
take some time to think about what you
value and how work and your other
aspects of life interact with each other.
Two list out exactly how much money you
need to make and why what do you want to
buy and how does that add value to your
life. Three what are you going to do to
balance your work and your life better?
Be specific. So hopefully those are a few
questions to help get you started
thinking about your work life balance
and where you want to be and what you
can actually do to improve it. That's all
I've got for this video as always if you
have any questions comments topics you
want me to cover feel free to put them
down in the box below I'll get to them as
soon as I can and beyond that I wish you
luck. See ya! You can check out more
content at howtohappy.com also don't
forget to subscribe so you can stay up
to date on the videos we've also got a
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check out. reflect take action and enjoy
life see you next time
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