thank you I am two-time Golden Globe
winner Jim Carrey you know when I go to
sleep at night I'm not just a guy going
to sleep
I'm two-time Golden Globe winner Jim
Carrey going to get some well-needed
shut-eye
and when I dream I don't just dream any
old dream no sir I dream about being
three-time Golden Globe winning actor
Jim Carrey because then I would be
enough
[Applause]
it would finally be true and I could
stop this this terrible search for what
I know ultimately won't fulfill me but
these are important these awards I don't
want you to think that just because if
you blew up our solar system alone you
wouldn't be able to find us or any of
human history with the naked eye but
from our perspective this is huge
what is scenario 12d we know it's a
wargame scenario that it has to do with
airline counterterrorism why is it
important enough to kill for because
it's no longer a game but if some
terrorist group wants to act out this
scenario why target you for
assassination
depends on who your terrorists are a man
who conceived of it in the first place
[Music]
you're saying our government plans to
commit a terrorist act against a
domestic area go dying the entire
government is usual perfection a small
faction or what possible gain the Cold
War is over John but with no clear enemy
to stockpile against the arms markets
flat but bring down a fully loaded 727
into the middle of New York City and
you'll find a dozen tin-pot dictator all
over the world just clamoring to take
responsibility 9/11 was a false flag
operation it was a warm-up to World War
3
joel mchale players tad O'Malley who's a
conservative talk show host he is very
conservative but his ideas about
conspiracy theories match up exactly
with molders it's all part of a
conspiracy dating back to the UFO crash
at Roswell in 1947 my character wants to
get a hold of Mulder and that's how it
starts
join me for a little ride right here is
fun low-flying aircraft off an employee
what they call dirt boxes to record
conversations that I prefer private
aircraft employed by home he's really an
amalgamation of so many characters on
the internet who believe that there is
not just an alien conspiracy but a
possible conspiracy of men what I need
is your expertise our expertise for what
I'm rattling some pretty big cages in
the intelligence community driven not
only by corporate greed but a darker
objective the takeover of America and
then the world itself by any means
necessary however violent or cool or
decision by severe drought brought on by
weather wars conducted secretly using
aerial contaminants and high-altitude
electromagnetic waves in a state of
perpetual war to create problem reaction
solution scenarios to distract enrage
and enslave American citizens at home
who tools like the Patriot Act and the
National Defense Authorization Act which
abridged the Constitution in the name of
national security
the militarization of
in cities across the u.s. the building
of prison camps by the Federal Emergency
Management Agency with no stated purpose
the corporate takeover of food and
agriculture pharmaceuticals in health
care even the military in clandestine
agendas to fatten dull sicken and
control a populace already consumed by
consumerism a government the top sir
phone collects your data and monitors
our whereabouts with impunity a
government preparing to use that data
against you when it strikes and the
final takeover begins the takeover of
America by a well-oiled and well-armed
multinational group of elites that will
call kill and subjugate happening as we
sit here it's happening all around us
the other shoe to drop it'll probably
start on a Friday the banks will
announce a security action necessitating
their computers to go offline all
weekend digital money will disappear
they can just steal your money
followed by the detonation of strategic
electromagnetic pulse bombs to knock out
major grids well will seem like an
attack on America by terrorists or
Russia or a simulated alien invasion
using an alien replica vehicles that
exist and already in use an alien
invasion of the US the Russians tried in
47 you can't say these things I'm gonna
say them to mom
can you believe what you have been
seeing on CNN today ladies and gentlemen
can you believe it supposedly a CNN
reporter found Osama bin Laden took a
television camera crew with him went in
to Osama bin Laden's hideout interviewed
him and his top leadership his top
lieutenants and Colonels and Generals in
their hideout this is a CNN reporter
with a camera crew and he came out and
told everybody within three weeks Osama
bin Laden's that attacked the United
States in Israel now don't you think
that's kind of strange folks you see
because the largest intelligence
apparatus in the world with the biggest
budget in the history of the world has
been looking for Osama bin Laden for
years and years and years and can't find
him a reporter from CNN and his little
camera crew got in to Osama bin Laden a
secret hideout and conducted an
interview don't believe me tune in to
CNN they're probably running it right
now
as I'm speaking and if you believe it
you are one of the stupidest jerks that
ever lived on the face of this earth and
whatever is going to happen is they're
going to blame on a sama bin Laden don't
you even believe it when in hell are all
you people going to wake up and why
would that watch everything who they
believe I'm bad I didn't a trust
nobody I'm just saying they know how to
be trusted
these have already told us
the NSA can hear every conversation we
make and see every text that we did so
do explain to me how to book a whole
airplane we're the same country where
two airplane read in our goddamn
children and we don't know where they
are right we all see the police
they're all from different I know you've
noticed in here I want you to know
that's like that everywhere Malaysia is
also different now I know it's a cop in
here we do not be y'all y'all are doing
a great job we appreciate it
just doing your job keeping us safe out
there thank you so much is the ones
outside we're talking about
hello two different the police use me
sir used to be you are presumed innocent
[Music]
please don't fib let them dig it
out they can see your ass today and come
up with a story for the news tomorrow
let a fake identity that they got so
good they can show us the truth and we
can see the truth with our own ass and
if they can light up at the same time
and confused us about the truth we just
saw okay the first time we all saw it
with that the Boston Marathon bombing
everybody was looking for the fake ass
ass terrorists he had a
four-day head start he could have been
anywhere but we knew he was in the boat
cuz they told us he was invoked from a
helicopter that's him in the boat right
there that's him in the boat through a
pit surrounded that's helped lay it down
at the bottom of the boat back then they
say the police are here we going back up
let the police go in and begin
negotiations and all we heard was to the
marshal my dog take a back step over get
20 holes in the champ toggle it his
throat next day they say he was in a
gunfight
but he did have a gun
oh Anthony Atlanta it's not a dogfight
that's a drive-by right there that's
execution you got caught in such a time
we thought since our star was in LA when
they were looking for the X black cop
Christopher Dorner that was so scary
they wanted that kick of fact let me
tell you I was in LA at time and let me
just say you do not want to be a nigger
they are looking to drive away for two
days
I'm going one that nigga bad they shot
up to Spanish women in a pickup truck
delivering newspapers morning look for
this wait a minute that is too early and
too late my niggas no way I hope 30 in
the morning even if we supposed to be
but we knew they told us he was dead
again he's in the caddy the police have
him completely surrounded there's
nowhere for him to go we are going back
up let the police go in that begin
negotiation
it looks like he committed suicide
[Music]
real silver Jay who oh I gotta say
I saw the end of the world I could feel
all this death Jean it was just a dream
[Music]
the forest
I've been called many things are many
lifetimes right
Krishna Yahweh ever since the world
found out about mutants there have been
secret societies who see them as some
kind of second coming or sign of God
they believe that tens of thousands of
years ago ancient being was born the
world's first mutant you are all my
children and a lost
because you follow
leaders but I am here now I'm here for
you wherever this being was he always
had 4 followers he would imbue with
power like the Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse
you got that one from the Bible or the
Bible got it from him what is it
Oh God he can control all of us
the world needs the x-men that's why I'm
here to fight
not all of us can control our powers
then don't this is war
everything they feel
will fall and from the ashes of their
world
we'll build up better one
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