why are the father and laws usually not in the equation you know it's always
about women women women they want to go to their parents house they want to see
what they're doing are you taking care of baby did you brush the baby's teeth
oh is it clean
hello you guys welcome back to my channel my name is Laraddiji if you're watching for the first time you're most welcome to this family
you're very welcome to this family don't forget to like this video and subscribe
if you've been inspired from what you hear today it's all about living in
peace this is one of the four yeah four sections of my channel so feel free to
explore the other sections after this video there's tons of information that
might speak to you today I'll be talking about the relationships we have with our
mother-in-law's and mother nature okay let's get to it. have you ever thought
about this, as a married man or woman would you let your mother-in-law live
with you or maybe let her be a guest for more than a couple of days why or why
not? so if you're married I'm sure you've had an instance where you know this was
an issue, what went through your mind let's imagine this your mother-in-law
came for a visit and she decided to stay for a couple of days or weeks but she
saw you guys arguing about something you know something very big
like maybe finances or maybe something like child childcare or maybe you know
just preparing food? so what happened what actually happened was my mom and I
were you know or discussing we were having a conversation regarding staying with me
and my family whenever we bought a house or after she retires so that she can
help me with you know my kids I have and I have a little boy so I was asking
her instead of me hiring hiring and outsider you know maybe she can help
help me so she said she rather stay with our
sons instead because she would feel more comfortable
the reason being one she said she gave birth to them oh she didn't give her to
me right so she would have more say in
their house than mine and two they're men and they are the head of the house and
they will honor her as their mother and be on her side
on some issues in marriage yeah that's what I say. so anytime we have guests
over at my house I thought I'd bring in this topic of to get other people's
opinion so that I could gauge my way of thinking, it turns out I wasn't wrong in
thinking my mom would be best to stay at my place than my brothers, hello? is that
what you're thinking too? - so these are some of the questions that I asked myself
after the conversation was over and I hope I can get some insight from you
guys as well so regardless of whose house the mother-in-law is in you know
daughter or son is she allowed to interfere? is there any case where she
can interfere? like really are there situations where mother-in-laws can and
cannot interfere in children's homes the third one, depending on how long you've
been married how do you deal with privacy issues with
your mother-in-law can she come in your house oh I just saw this movie um, bad
moms, Christmas I can't remember the name, watch it boundaries boundaries boundaries who can
set them and who maintains them
five would you even agree to let your mother-in-law stay with you for more than
a couple of days? I'm asking you guys okay? six, apart from child care what can
your mom or mother-in-law help you out with you know is it cooking or cleaning
or kids I personally I think kids. seventh one of your experience has been
so far with your mother-in-law living with you good or bad? okay please
comment below, what can you do as a husband or wife, to be in good graces you
know to be in good graces with your mother-in-law? definitely be yourself and
do your best, all right second to las, why are the father-in-laws usually not in the
equation? you know it's always about women women women they want to go to
their parents house they want to see what that doing are you taking care of
your baby did you brush your baby's teeth oh is it clean
last one what advice will your seasoned wives give the newbie wives regarding
mother-in-laws I remember when I was living with my grandmother my uncle and
his family you know they were also living in the family house at the time
this was when I was living with my grandmother and you know they were
living in the family house but they were in a different apartment there was
always I feel like that was always tension between my uncle's wife and my
grandmother I don't want to believe that you know she was doing it on purpose but
I know she was probably being overprotective of her son but why? he's
old enough to make his own decisions right? that's what you think you know so
she'll say it's not hot enough it's not cold enough, do it this way and not that
way you know just making simple situations difficult but I don't
remember any details really some mother-in-law's forget that there's a
thin line be you know I'm a big difference between son and yeah married
son when men are women are not married right
the mothers can sort of control them you know when they send even under their
roof that kind of thing what I mean is you know opinions can still weigh
in heavily on some or most of the decisions they make however when they
are married their opinions or pronouncements you know become advice
now they are on their own their adult children can either take them
or not, it therefore becomes imperative that parents should not impose or force you know, you shouldn't
force your way on your adult kids. the Bible even says it, I did my research
Genesis 2:24 therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife and they shall become one flesh but some attached mothers don't want to
leave their sons and they become terror in their daughter-in-laws house by
interfering even when they don't really mean to, I think why am I the voice for
mother-in-laws, anyway to me this should not and should never you know be about who
is being controlled and who's in control if you'll be an assistant to the couple
then do just that but please know, please know your boundaries right to
mother-in-laws and future mother-in-laws if you are at your
married children's house as a guest please be a guest alright don't be a
judge don't be Judge Judy in your childrens' house all right on how they
should run their lives. in unpalatable situations speak to your party that's
you know your child and in private not in front of the spouse and with a
lot of wisdom you speak with your in-law, unless you've been directly
involved in a matter by the couple, please do not interfere another thing is that
young men nowadays think they know it all in their marriage but they're just getting
by right we all need help we all need help, I need help
you know for you guys that are dating courting newlyweds
I call them marinated ones and even the seasoned ones we not only need Bible
study in our churches but I think we also need marriage study alright our
home is a place where essential life begins
we'll learn too much from this place for it not to have
good structure right some people don't have the skills to structure
their homes even if they really wanted to so I feel like it is expected that
when two people come together that they'll just figure it out, poof and you
know they'll be perfect but we all need help in figuring it out so that we don't
drown so I propose married anonymous where couples can come together and ask
questions and formulate plans for making their marriage last longer than you know
America that we are in instead of finding easy ways out but on a serious
note, ultimately communication praying together, keeping an open mind being
forgiving and being very patient usually solves all matter. right the foundation I
feel is always important in every important setup and the foundation of a
marriage is as important as the people who are in it if your parents don't like
your significant other from the beginning you better ask them why
because how can I put this because whatever the reason they have think on
it because your parents and your friends usually can see what you may not see
when you are in love and you are blinded about your potential spouse this usually
can be a preset to how your in-laws will relate with you when you get married if
your parents you know like your significant other from the beginning or
they're able to settle any differences from the get-go then the relationship
with the in-laws will be a positive one. to you guys out there still
in the dating pool remember these points remember these points and save yourself
a lot of headache down the road I hope I'll be a good mother-in-law to my
children's spouses one day and I hope you will too
God willing you know my kids are not even in pre-k yet I'm already thinking
about being someone's mother-in-law anyway you know let's all remember
that at the end of the day right there will be
misunderstandings in the home and there'll be minor
you know arguments it becomes it becomes imperative that we should you know just
try to understand each other more and you know also forgive easily don't take
thing don't take things too too strongly and let us respect ourselves as mothers
and give our kids room to grow without judgment
let's not giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason God willing we
are on this earth for an average of 75 to 80 years right I wouldn't want to
waste any of that precious time on things that wouldn't help me grow
positively in some way. you do have a decision to make if not now maybe later
the ball is in your court I want to thank you guys very much for
staying with me to the end of this video I hope you learned something today you
know so I'm gonna end it here that's all for now you guys if you're new to this
channel once again my name is Laraddiji please ask questions if you have any you
know maybe I'll be able to answer more arm some of the questions in the comment
below also you can like this video by giving it a thumbs up and to get
notified of newly posted videos please don't wait please don't wait just click
that red button subscribe now the next video will be about me getting to the
end of my pregnancy last year all right and I know some of you guys some of you
would like to hear this story there's no exception so who can learn
from this video so do check it out and also check out my suggested videos in
the description box below I'm hoping to read from you beautiful beautiful people
very soon don't forget to love your neighbor as yourself I will keep saying
that and remember, to rest in peace we all need to be living in peace, stay blessed
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