When I was a teenager my mother died and our family just didn't feel like a family anymore.
So all I wanted my whole life was to have a big family with lots of love and warmth.
So I got married to a beautiful woman and gave my all to raise my family.
I had the family of my dreams.
Eight beautiful children that were so pure and full of life, with lots of joy and love.
I was the happiest person in the world.
I would always make sure to spend the Sabbath, the Jewish day of rest, with them.
My wife would light candles every Friday evening to usher in the holy day and I would go to
the synagogue with my older children.
When I returned, I would be joyfully greeted by my family - all freshly bathed and dressed
up for the Sabbath.
I would make a blessing over the wine, then bless each member of my family and give them
a warm hug and a kiss.
And then we would partake in the festive meal, with each child having his turn to speak,
sharing what they had learned that week.
We would sing songs together and just enjoy each other's company while being embraced
by the love and warmth that I had always been looking for.
Then for some reason, one day, I made an exception and I agreed to leave my family for the Sabbath.
That Friday night, when everyone was sound asleep, after having a beautiful evening,
a fire broke out in our house.
The fire spread throughout the house in minutes.
Being a day of rest, my phone was turned off.
The police were looking for me all night and found me in the morning.
They told me that there was a fire in my house, my wife and daughter are in the hospital.
They took me to the police station.
My sister's husband showed up with a Rabbi and a medic.
My brother in law told me that the other seven children all perished.
I couldn't even cry, I just fell on the floor and just started to scream my head off.
I lost track of time - just screaming and screaming, because the pain was so intense.
It wasn't just the fact that I had lost everything that I had cared about and strived for my
whole life.
It was that these children were just so precious.
In the middle of all that screaming I hear the Rabbi tell me to stop and get up.
So I did.
Then the medic approached.
He wanted to inject me with a calming agent.
I told him to go away.
I don't want it.
I wasn't about to go numb and hide from the challenge.
My dear kids gave me their final gift with their passing.
It was the greatest gift that they could have given me - an opportunity to grow.
I had to overcome in order not to waste their lives.
Life is full of challenges and they are all opportunities to grow.
When faced with a challenge we have a choice.
Either we embrace the challenge and grow, or we resist and we suffer.
The more we resist the more we suffer.
If you insist that life must be your way and you fight reality because you want to stay
in your comfort zone and you don't want to take responsibility for your life, then
you'll end up suffering.
You may become angry or depressed or you may just go numb and apathetic.
You can give up or you can blame others or even the world.
The choice is clear.
So how did I cope?
How did I manage?
How was I able to get up when the Rabbi told me to do so?
The answer is in what I said by the eulogy for my dear children.
Surrender.
I surrendered myself to God.
I surrendered myself to His will.
I let go of everything that was dear to me, otherwise I would have broken.
When one nullifies his ego, then you have access to the divine, you become unlimited.
Your consciousness expands as the filter called "me" is removed.
And you can see solutions to situations that you didn't see before.
When you surrender, by definition, there is no resistance and therefore, there is no more suffering.
A miracle occurs.
Surrendering is not a one time thing – the negative emotions and the despair keeps coming
back.
And I have to constantly surrender by feeling the emotions and letting them pass through
me.
God tailor-makes our unique challenges for each one of us.
And He is also there to help us through it.
But it has to be our choice, otherwise there is no reason for us to be in this world.
God gives us challenges so that we can grow and reveal His greatness.
He wants us to become great as well.
He wants to take us to a greater place than we ever thought possible.
To a life that is much greater than we wanted for ourselves.
For me it's clear – the only way is to trust in God.
Then you connect to the infinite and everything becomes possible
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