(upbeat music)
- Day seven of The Bridechilla 30 Days of Wedding Planning,
and it is one of my favourite topics, are you ready?
The fuck-it-bucket!
Oh my god.
What the hell do we ever do without
the fuck-it-bucket?
The fuck-it-bucket just happens to be
one of my most popular ever episodes
of The Bridechilla Podcast.
This is not a new concept.
The fuck-it-bucket has been around for many a millennia.
I think that's true.
But the concept of the fuck-it-bucket
can be used in every sort of facet of your life,
but in particular, with weddings, I read a Reddit forum,
and people were talking about
what sort of things
that they want to ditch from their wedding
and they referred to this thing called the fuck-it-bucket,
and I was like, this is... Oh my god, this is amazing.
And I started talking about it on the podcast,
and it's sort of become a thing,
if you're in the Bridechilla community,
you will see people referring to it as FIB.
Fuck-it-bucket.
And, really, the fuck-it-bucket,
the foundations of what it is,
is an imaginary or real container
that you throw in all of your expectations,
DIY projects that you've forgot to do
or started to do and actually fucking hate doing them,
so ditching them,
all of the traditions that aren't necessary to you
or relevant to you that you just don't want to add to it,
extra stuff that wedding magazines and
other media sort of say you have to buy
when, really, you don't, like favors.
If you're not into favors
or chair covers, which I fucking hate,
you can put them in the fuck-it-bucket.
It's become this really great expression
in the Bridechilla community,
and I love seeing people use it because it's empowering.
Literally, every couple of days
someone will start a new thread saying,
what are you putting in the fuck-it-bucket this week?
And it's amazing to see people just letting go
of things that they thought were important to them
but actually are not.
When it comes down to it,
you just need two people
and someone to make it legal to have a wedding,
and, potentially, a witness
depending on where you're getting married.
So all this extra stuff is just added stuff.
Yeah, it might be great to have some great food and music,
but does anyone really give a shit
about the little favors that you put on the table.
I mean, for me,
in Australia the big thing is to give sugar-coated almonds.
I've only eaten them, and it's an Italian thing,
it started, it's not an Aussie thing,
but it became a thing in Aus where I grew up
for people to leave bomboniere, is what you'd call them,
bomboniere on the table,
and they're sugared almonds.
They've got meaning, I can't remember what it is right now.
Just google it.
But I don't think they taste very good.
And I would eat them drunk in the back of a cab
on the way back from the wedding.
They don't mean much to me.
Same with people giving out CDs of mixed tapes or USBs,
and it's like, I don't fucking...
I'm going to save over your USB of all your favourite music
and put my Real House wves of Beverly Hills on it.
I don't care.
And it's not me being an asshole,
although it might come across that way.
It's me saying, these are not the memorable things
that I take away from a wedding.
I take away the feeling and being with other people
and seeing, genuinely, people having a lovely time
and a couple being in love,
and it's not about sugared almonds or special, bloody,
you know, bottles of jam that you've created,
which are all beautiful, but they're unnecessary
and they're not worth stressing about.
And no one is going to leave a wedding going,
"I just wish they'd given us some specialty
"hand-made jars of jam.
"I mean, it would have made a much better wedding
"if I had some specialty hand-made jars of jam."
The same thing is that no one is going to leave a wedding
saying, "I can't believe they had naked chairs.
"I can't believe they didn't put chair covers on the chairs.
"I mean, who do they think they are?
"Who do they think they are?"
I really hate chair covers,
not for the people running businesses
renting people chair covers.
I don't have a problem with you people.
I just think the concept of chair covers
is really something that is more of a metaphorical thing,
is that it's something that is unnecessary,
that unless you're using, you know,
big old plastic chairs.
Actually, I don't even care,
big old plastic chairs are fine.
That, at $5 a head,
there's probably 50-million other things
you could spend that $5 a head on,
or keep it in your pocket
and buy a house or go on a freaking amazing holiday.
So that's what I say.
The fuck-it-bucket is an amazing thing.
The topic of fuck-it-bucket, I'll be honest with you.
I've got pages, this is the Bridechilla Survival Guide.
This is my wedding planning guide that I wrote myself.
And we've also got the Field Guide,
but that's for another day.
That's upside down, so that's good promotion.
But in the fuck-it-bucket chapter,
I go through pages and pages of stuff
that you could very well place in the fuck-it-bucket.
Like 10 pages.
And this stuff could all be things that you want to add
to your wedding, and that's fine because
you do you, my friends.
Do whatever you want,
but don't feel obliged to buy all this stuff
because everyone else buys it, because no one cares.
That is the fuck-it-bucket.
What are you going to put in your fuck-it-bucket?
I would love to know.
Would you leave me a comment below?
Would you share with everyone?
Inspire people to put stuff in their fuck-it-buckets.
That is my wish for today.
Also, I'd love you to listen to The Bridechilla Podcast,
over 300 episodes, hosted by moi,
and I interview a bunch of fantastic wedding experts,
psychologists, I've got relationship people.
It's not about the planning.
Well, it is about the planning,
but it's not about the aesthetics of the day.
It's about finding a balance.
It's looking at how to plan without losing your marbles
and maintain your chill.
There it is, I've just summed it up.
Made that up on the spot.
Until tomorrow's episode,
I wish you all a delicious and wonderful happy days.
(upbeat music)
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