Braun Strowman written off TV, Kurt Angle's not here but - don't worry - Roman Reigns
sure is.
I'm Oli Davis, and despite Michael Cole telling me this week's Raw is in London,
England, I'm not 100% sure.
Even when I was physically in the audience, I can't be sure.
There was neither a red phone box on the stage, nor a black cab [IMAGE 1].
But I do know one thing: this is the 8th May 2017 edition of Monday Night Raw...in about
4 minutes.
Dean Ambrose & The Miz Dean Ambrose opened the show by announcing
Kurt Angle won't be here tonight - boo - so he's been made the acting General Manager.
Which he was informed about as the show was going on-air.
Kayfabe WWE management do realise they can plan episodes in advance, right?
Time just doesn't just outside 8-11 Eastern on Monday nights.
Ripping open even more logic holes, The Miz then said, actually, Stephanie McMahon just
made him the co-acting General Manager of Raw - giving us the night's narrative thread:
Ambrose and Miz booking matches last minute [IMAGE 2].
So art sometimes does imitate life.
Their first act was putting Braun Strowman against Kalisto - one of the three people
ever to have beaten The Monster Among Men.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Finn Balor beat The Miz The first match, though, was Ambrose booking
his co-GM against Finn Balor.
The Miz awarded himself the victory after shenanigans, but not on Dean's show!
Ambrose banned Maryse from ringside and restarted the match [IMAGE 3], which Finn won almost
immediately.
Alexa Bliss beat Mickie James Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax are actually developing
a very interesting relationship, a kind of status-reversed Neville and TJP.
Bliss brought her new frenemy down to ringside to beat Mickie James.
Nia is much more impressive live than she comes across on TV, with her offence actually
looking like it hurts [IMAGE 4].
Probably because it does.
Braun Strowman beat Kalisto Braun Strowman finally overcame one of his
most devastating opponents, beating Kalisto via disqualification when Roman Reigns came
down to interfere.
Roman got the most crowd reaction of the entire show.
The wrong kind, of course, receiving thunderous boos.
The two brawled outside, steel chair and all [IMAGE 5], and Braun hobbled off through the
crowd - reportedly writing him off TV because of an elbow injury.
Tag Team Turmoil It's time for Tag Team Turmoil, with such
Raw teams as Sheamus and Cesaro, The Club...Enzo and Cass (of course Enzo and Cass, don't
know why I forgot those)...The Golden Truth, obviously.
They just had a really good, semi-serious backstage promo before this match.
Aaaaand…
Sheamus and Cesaro ran through Enzo and Cass, Rhyno and Heath Slater (there it is), The
Club - which was the best in-ring worked portion of the entire night [IMAGE 6] - and the Golden
Truth to become the Hardy Boyz' No. 1 contenders.
This was smartly booked, still presenting Sheamaro as heels despite them being slotted
in the typical overcome-all-odds babyface spot.
Seth Rollins beat Samoe Joe Samoe Joe cut a great promo about how Seth
Rollins would hear every ligament pop before their match.
It went 15 minutes, which felt very long live, and ended with a Rollins DQ win after Joe
used the exposed turnbuckle.
The crowd were getting tired by this point.
TJP beat Jack Gallagher The third hour, ladies and Gentleman Jack
Gallagher.
Watching a three hour Raw from home is mostly tough going.
I can now tell you from first-hand experience, watching it live in the crowd is even worse.
Despite homegrown wrestler Gallagher in the ring here, the audience lost interest and
decided to make their own fun - mainly with Beachballamania 3 and a guy next to me drunkenly
yelling, 'I love you, Alexa Bliss'.
Alexa Bliss wasn't even in the ring.
TJP beat Jack Gallagher in barely three minutes by grabbing the tights.
Gallagher lost.
So we are in England.
Sasha Banks beat Alicia Fox Sasha Banks beat 205 Live's mid-card title
Alicia Fox in another barely three minute match.
Fox busted out a beautiful looking Northern Lights suplex [IMAGE 8], but seemingly botched
the pin, accidentally raising her shoulder on three.
Bray Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose Bray Wyatt took on Dean Ambrose in the night's
main event, which the Eater of Worlds won after The Miz's interference [IMAGE 9].
Dean was somewhat protected by kicking out of a championship opportunity to the skull,
with Wyatt having to deliver a Sister Abigail to finish him off.
So that was this week's Raw in about four minutes.
Here's the usual ratings recap, from top to bottom - In Awe, Cor, AVRAWGE, Poor and
Bore.
I'll reveal my rating very shortly, but first, vote in the poll above my head to give
yours.
I'll announce the results in tomorrow's WrestleTalk News.
I've always said to people, 'look, even if WWE isn't your thing, you should still
go to their live shows, because you'll have fun.'
That's been my past experience.
Watching at home is one thing, being there live is another.
I'm sad to say, I can no longer make that recommendation.
Despite being surrounded by awesome people, and having a lot of fun before the show started,
experiencing an episode of Raw live - that is, not a house show - was painful.
My best guess is that WWE's current television product very poorly translates to a live crowd.
Which is why the audience sounded so dead on TV throughout the night.
Because the show was, to be frank, boring, predictable, long - the only real pops were
for entrances and finishes.
UK wrestling crowds are considered amongst the world's rowdiest.
But there's only so much we can do.
The poor crowd reaction isn't the audience's fault.
It's WWE's.
This week's Raw is Bore Batista has called out WWE for backstage bull-poop
in a new interview, and Titus O'Neil is being sued for allegedly beating up a WWE
cameraman.
Click the videos to the left to find out more, and press subscribe.
I've been Oli Davis and that was wrestling.
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