Hey guys, so I am actually terrified to make this video and I don't really know
why...so first to distract from that, let's look at my outfit I'm wearing a dress
it has a petticoat and a top hat it's great and I love it!
OK, as some of you probably know because I think I mentioned it, besides
struggling with physical chronic illnesses, I also have some mental stuff
going on. I have already kind of addressed this but if you didn't know I
have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive
disorder for... I think I got the diagnosis is diagnosed these two years ago maybe,
but I've definitely had them for longer. Recently however I have gone back into
therapy and I got to new diagnoses so yeah, hi I'm Meg, I'm 21 and I have PTSD
and ASD. Yeah okay I want to reiterate here that these diagnoses are nothing to
be ashamed of I just feel a little bit awkward because I am still not quite
used to broadcasting all of my health issues onto the Internet... even though
that is the entire point of this channel which is why I am making this video. So,
let's get on with the acronyms because if you are not someone who is into
mental health or knows anything about mental health you might not know what
those mean. First off, PTSD stands for post traumatic
stress disorder and I've got the National Institute of Mental Health
website up here on my iPad so I'm just gonna be reading some more scientific
definitions and things like that I'll link it down below, but if I keep looking
down that's why. So PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder: The
overview thing says PTSD is a disorder that develops in some people who have
experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event, it is natural to feel
afraid during and after a traumatic situation fear triggers may fear
triggers many split-second changes in the body to help defend against danger
or to avoid it. This fight-or-flight response is a typical reaction
meant to protect a person from harm. Nearly everyone will experience a range
of reactions trauma yet most people recover from initial symptoms naturally
those who continue to experience problems may be diagnosed with PTSD
people who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they are not in
danger... hmmm looking at the signs and symptoms of PTSD it says you must have
at least one re-experiencing symptom, at least one avoidance symptom, at least two
arousal and reactivity symptoms and at least two cognition and mood symptoms.
Re-experiencing symptoms include flashbacks, bad dreams, and frightening thoughts.
Avoidance symptoms include staying away from places, events, or objects that are
reminders of the traumatic experience, avoiding thoughts or feelings related to
the traumatic experience. Arousal and reactivity symptoms include being easily
startled, feeling tense or on edge, having difficulty sleeping, and having
angry outbursts. Cognition and mood symptoms include trouble remembering key
features of the traumatic event, negative thoughts about oneself or the world,
distorted feelings like guilt or blame, and loss of interest in enjoyable
activities. Obviously I experienced most of these which is why I got the
diagnosis. I'm not going to go too deep into it because this is pretty personal
for me... I have actually experienced a fair amount of trauma in my life. I
personally think the initial PTSD was triggered due to repeated emotional
abuse but I can't say that for sure and I would rather not go any farther into
it so... I'm not. The other diagnosis I mentioned is something I'm much more
comfortable talking about: ASD is autism spectrum disorder, so
autism. I don't know why I keep going yay... but wait yes I do I suspected having
both of these disorders for years but to finally get confirmation just a few
weeks ago honestly was pretty nice. So autism spectrum disorder let's see if
I can sum this up so according to the dsm-5 which is the Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, people with ASD have difficulty with
communication and interaction with other people, restricted interests, and
repetitive behaviors. Symptoms that hurt the person's ability to function
properly and schoolwork in other areas of life. It is a spectrum disorder
because there's a wide variation of the type of severity of symptoms that people
occur...wait, that can occur or that people experience, my apologies. Um
signs and symptoms: People with ASD have difficulty with social
communication and interaction, restricted interests, and repetitive behaviors so
these ones I'm actually just going to read the ones that relate to me because
there are a lot and I don't want to read all of them. So social communication
interaction behaviors may include making little or inconsistent eye
contact, failing to or being slow to respond to someone calling their name or
other verbal attempts to get attention... this happens sometimes, because of the
PTSD I also have an increased startle response so basically I will either not
hear you calling me repeatedly if I'm reading or something... or I will jump out
of my skin and possibly scream so that's fun. Having difficulties with the
back-and-forth of conversation, often talking at length about a favorite
subject without noticing that others are not interested in or without giving
others a chance to respond, having facial expressions movements and gestures that
do not match what is being said, having an unusual tone of voice that may sound
singsong or flat in a robot... robot-like... Fun fact, those past two I only noticed
when I started making videos. So I would make a video and I would think
that I was emoting properly and showing, you know, emotion in my voice and in my
face and then I would go back to caption the
video and realized that my voice sounded fairly monotone and that my face didn't
really show expression and I'd be like... well that's something. Restrictive
repetitive behaviors may include repeating certain behaviors or having
unusual behaviors for example repeating words or phrases of behavior called
echolalia, having an in lasting intense interest in certain topics such as
numbers details or facts... if you ever want to know anything about foreign
languages or world religions I am your girl! Ah let's see here getting upset by
slight changes in a routine, being more or less sensitive than other people to
sensory input such as light, sound, noise, clothing, or temperature. If you ever go
to a movie with me I will habitually pick a seat that is on the edge of a row,
close to a door, because when I was a child the sound used to physically
hurt me so much that I would have to run out of the theater. I actually spent a
really long time being terrified to go into movie theaters because of this,
because it hurt too much, basically. People with ASD may also experience
sleep problems and irritability. And although people with ASD experience
challenges they have many strengths including being able to learn things in
detail and remember information for long periods of time. Fun fact, I used to be
able to recite parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows from memory. Being
strong visual and auditory learners and excelling in math, science, music, or art. I
guess I'm making this video to just try and show that you can have these
disorders and still be quote unquote normal or live a healthy life... I am going
to school, I am an adult, I'm living on my own etc etc. There's no reason to be
ashamed of it... I know I'm acting kind of awkward in this video and, well, that's
because I am awkward, but if you have any disorder any mental disorder or physical
disorder don't... please don't in any way feel like you have to feel ashamed of it.
I mean sure autism makes things hard for me sometimes like really hard but it's
also pretty cool that some of the stuff I can do I'm not gonna
I'm pretty cool mm-hmm mm-hmm no seriously though,
um it's weird, but it does give you talents and I don't think that should be
discounted. And for those of you without ASD, PTSD,
GAD, MDD, any other of the plethora of mental illness acronyms out there, I urge
you to think about people that have them as people and not just the disorder
because I think it's really easy to try and classify someone by shoving them in
a box and saying okay they have autism that's it, that's all they are, and I
think I'm a good example of someone to say that that is not in any way true...
that you can have one disorder, you know four disorders, you can have, hell you
can have ten disorders, I don't care and you're... you're still a person you know
you're not just a label or a bunch of labels that make up person, if that makes
sense. You know that meme that's like I'm not a person I'm five mental illnesses
in a trench coat... that's not true you are a person, you know, you have your own
likes and dislikes and so do i and so does everyone and this doesn't make
sense, but I'm real vulnerable right here right now so excuse the lack of...
coherency. I'm trying... I guess what I want to know is what do you guys want to know?
What kind of videos do you want to see from me, now that it's a new year? Do you
want more EDS videos, more POTS videos, more autism videos, more mental illness
videos in genera...?l Do you want more fashion videos because clearly my
fashion is on point? Do you want um... I have a video coming up about dungeons
and dragons really anything you want just let me know in the comments. Like
and subscribe if you want. I hope I'm interesting enough that you
would want to and as I said in the description I will link the site
that I was reading from the mental health site I'm completely blanking on
the name, but yeah I hope you had a great New Year's and whatever winter holiday
you celebrate if any and I will see you guys soon. Bye!
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