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Are your muscles causing you pain during anal sex?
Hi I'm Sex Coach Nikki and I have been doing sensual and erotic massage for
nine years and I can tell you that is the number one cause of pain during any
kind of anal stimulation. What you want to do if you're not sure is go in the
shower with nice warm water and lather up your hands and then usually using the
hand you wipe with because that's how your back bends easiest so if you're
right-handed right go with your right hand and start massaging in your anal
area. If you're not ready for that then you can simply do an exercise right
now. Sit down on something firm and see if you can squeeze your anus.
Squeeze your anal sphincter muscles and see if you can feel your butt moving and does
it hurt? Does it feel uncomfortable? Then the other way is you want to push and
push down toward the surface you're sitting on and you should feel movement.
If you do not feel movement then that means that your muscles are kind of
locked. It means your tight ass (laughing). But it's easy to fix this you just need to do
some self massage or go see a masseuse. Not a regular massage therapist - they
cannot work in this area it is not legal but there are some physical
therapists who will work in the anal area so definitely do what's right for
you as far as what feels good for you. What you want to do if you want to
try this on your own then just use like I said in the shower with warm water
and lots of soap and you're going to massage your undercarriage
basically and feel for the muscles and feel how hard
they can be. Feel all the muscles all the way around your anus and then also the
sphincters and then if you can just put your fingertip in and then you want to
pull and and massage so if you imagine the face of a clock on your anus with
12 o'clock being straight towards the tailbone and
you just put some pressure against the walls of your anal canal and each
direction so press at 12 o'clock feel how see how it feels
one o'clock take a deep breath see how it feels
keep going every spot on the clock that's going to be a really great self
massage to start relaxing your anal muscles and it's something you can
easily do every day in the shower and you want to start if you're experiencing
pain you can just start with a very tip on the outside tip of your finger on the
outside and then as you get more accustomed to it you'll gain control over your anal
muscles and you'll start learning how to relax them so then you'll be able to
penetrate more deeply to where you could get up to maybe your first knuckle and
then you do the same thing massage - you just put pressure at each point around
the anus like just three o'clock and then take a deep breath and feel it
relax and then take your finger out move it to new spot - four o'clock - and
just continue that way and that's going to start relaxing your pelvic floor and
your anal muscles. Once you get to that like it depends also how flexible you
are like I'm a little bit of a thicker girl so I can't do a whole lot standing
up then you want to move on to the bed and start incorporating a lot of lube
once you're because in the shower you're using the soap and that lubricates for
you but when you're on your bed you want to use lube. I'll be doing a whole other
video all about lube the different options when it comes to lube but just
you can do as long as you're not about to have sex with a condom you can use
almost anything for lube you can go in the kitchen and get
some olive oil and that's actually pretty good or coconut oil any kind of
oil is fine as long as you're not about to use a condom
all right so I hope I gave you some good ideas on getting your muscles relaxed in
your anal area and that is probably going to help you have a lot more
pleasure during anal sex. All right make it a sexy day!
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