There's a favor to ask
from me
Ms Basia
Joachim... from everyone
My God, what favor?
Please become the prime minister
Cut it off, Mariusz
I know it's
more convenient to pull the strings from the backstage
without taking responsibility
If anything goes wrong, they will go to prison, not you, sir...
Mariusz!
We've already discussed that. Please
100 anniversary of Independence Day is nearing
It would be great if
like Pilsudski in the past, you sir
were in charge of the state now
Pilsudski, you say?
We'd all be happy. And the most - somewhere there - the Chief of State
that he has such a successor
Just between me and you, Beata is...
too modest
Such a country
Such a history!
Beata is not at that level. It would be
Jaroslaw
the Wise
The Prime Minister
of the Century!
Aren't you excited?
Well, I'd have to move out from here...
But... what's keeping you here in that hole?
It looks like a cheap clothing warehouse from the outside
A bumpy sidewalk and patches of asphalt... hexagonal paving slabs. The fence
is really ugly. While in the palace
you'd only, as they say:
turn from side to side
Well, I'm not sure... I don't know
When I look at you I see
a copy of the Head of State. Just look at you
You'd only have to grow a mustache. Try this
I look like a village doctor, a cow vet
And the other one?
The Chairman's Ear
Pork chop! Aubergine! Ham! Cheese! Ho ho ho!
Wow, Mr Sandwich
What have you got here?
Everything you want
Can I have it with a sausage?
Would you like it with the president?
Holy Marry! It's you?
Yes, it's me! Quiet!
- I missed you so much, Mr Adrian... - Andrzej.
Or Andrzej...
I missed you too
I speak quietly, so
they don't know I'm here
So why did you come here if not to meet with the Chairman?
I wanted to see you
But what's...
Why are you crying? What...?
It's nothing...
God... how have you been?
It's bad!
Still better than here. I couldn't take in anymore. If it weren't for you, I'd leave this place a long time ago
And how are you?
Same old
How's health?
OK
I don't go to the doctor's. Don't want them to find anything. It's better not to know
I'm sitting here, working - and this is how it's going to be till the end
But it doesn't have to be like that
That's why I'm here
Wouldn't you like to be
my secretary?
How much do you get here?
I'll give you twice as much
Me? To the palace?
No...
No. How can I go to the palace? I don't have the right clothes. Here
I can wear anything and it's fine. Nobody cares anyway
But I'll buy you dresses! And I'll ask Ms Gosia to design you dresses
with diamonds and sequins! With everything!
She made one for a duchess, why wouldn't she make one for you?
Aubergine! Pork chop! Ham! Cheese!
Mr Sandwich. Do you have with cheese?
I do
20 zlotys
Expensive
You look familiar
Stan Borys - everyone tells me that
"...Swallow, the sister of thunderstorm..."
Maybe him...
Pork chop! Aubergine! Ham! Cheese!
Just get in...
now
Can I have a question?
Because there's a rumor or not a rumor
Go ahead, Mateusz, ask away
Some people claim
that the thing
with the president
those games, these vetoes
that quasi-conflict
all that was staged
by you, sir
Why would I
do that?
To suck the oxygen out from the opposition
to steer away the attention from the street protests
to our internal quasi-conflict
That here
in our camp
we also have quarrels
discussions
different fractions
Nonsense!
That you're a bad cop
and the president - good
And this way we pocket
the whole political stage
And maybe not nonsense...?
That the president
vetoes
but not everything
And that he pretends to be independent, but at the end of the day we'll do
what we want
only this will take a little
longer
Have you really staged all of this?
That's a puzzle, right?
What do you think?
Well no, after all
you got really mad back then
You put your sandals on your socks, to come here
and confer
Really?
Although...
your anger was acted out
After all, you laughed after "treacherous mugs"....
I acted out?
On purpose? Or...
it just came out that way?
Let me answer you
with a Chinese proverb
So
There once was a husband
who
loved his
one-eyed wife
so much
that he thought that all other women
have
one eye too many
One eye, so deliberately
Go and think it through
...or not deliberately, huh?
Port chop! Aubergine! Ham! Cheese!
Give me one, please
Help yourself
With cheese
Or ham
Three tens
So, what do you say?
I can't...
Why not?
I'll stay with him in this bunker till the end
You don't do this to a cat
I don't agree with everything he does
Sometimes he does stupid things. Flounces like a drunk hare, but
it's been so many years...
How long do I have till retirement? Why change anything?
You don't replant old trees
But what you say is utter nonsense!
Those things with trees... - You know...
Sometimes I think
I'm the only person still keeping him sane
I'm his connector
with the normal world
You saw it yourself who's surrounding him
He surrounded himself with them!
I just can't... Can't
I don't know what happens if I'm not here
He can't even buy a roll by himself
If he's not clean shaven, nobody is going to tell him
Everyone else is afraid. But I will tell him
I'll straighten his tie, whisk away dandruff
He'll allow this only me
No, Mr Andrzej...
I won't leave him on this boat
If we're hit by a torpedo, we're going down together
But
I can't
Such is my fate
If you
change your mind, you know the address
A sandwich on the house
Duck
Pork chop...
aubergine... ham... cheese...
Mateusz
I'll ask you up front
How would you feel I you were, let's say
the prime minister?
I?
I've never given it a thought, but... very good
I even made a checklist on my phone
what I would do hour by hour
as the prime minister
And you're saying
you've never thought about it?
Well, no...
Because
I sometimes think
of sending Europe a signal
that Poland is not Asia
You have such a large-city look...
Thank you very much
...and at the same time, you lack experience
I?
Lack?
You think you've already won
but forget that everything needs to be watched over to the end
Like the case with PZU
You staffed it with your people but eventually
Zbyszek outplayed you
With that award
in Krynica... it was within your grasp, but meanwhile our simple
Beata
tricked you
- No, but... - Nobbut
is dialectal in Britain. We
must walk firmly on the land
...this land
You don't say "this"
but "our"
Not: "on this land"
but: "on our land"
Welcome
May I have a word with you?
Oh my God! Kornel!
Dad, what are you doing here? - Be quiet
Hello!
Jarek
I have a favor to ask
Make him the prime minister
Dad!
I'm not a child anymore...
For your parents you'll always be
Make him the prime minister
Just look at him
a nice boy
good, polite
Doesn't drink
Doesn't misbehave
A patriot
Speaks languages
Will not embarrass you
When he was a boy
he planed windmills
and now
he makes electric cars
I thought we would sink low
because I was never at home, but no
He turned out a decent man
Dad...
- Be quiet. - ...I can speak for myself...
Be quiet, I said!
I bow down to you
Take
the boy for instruction
Take the urchin for apprenticeship
and do not spare him the rod! Like
his own father
He is strong
in his arms
his back, his mind...
Take him for a trial
even with no pay for six years
And what can he do?
Everything that you need
Raise the taxes... lower
Seal the system, draw investments
Polonize the banks
He'll even build you a nuclear plant
just give him a plot
Well, do you concord with your father?
Yes, sire!
He probably did not show off
as he's modest, but:
Did he decrease the debt? Decreased
Did he subdue thievery? Subdued
There are no more scandals, unlike before
VAT-scandal
petrol scandal
For 500+
he found the money, even though the others claimed there were none
For those
beggar artists, for those beggar
pensioners
for flats he got the money somewhere
he imported a bank from America
and they even raised our rating, even though the others scared
they would lower it
So, boy?
Would you like it?
Take him under your roof, just don't hurt him
Explain what and how...
If he doesn't understand - use a rod
so that he learns the whole alphabet of ruling
Daddy...
that's enough
OK. Kornel, thank you very much
I'll think that through
Let me talk to this terminator face to face
Good morning
Good morning
I'm here to see the Chairman
Come on! You again!?
What did Mr Chairman tell you? Get out of here!
But, dear Mr Mariusz
I have a book for him. - Are you deaf?
Did fat Rysiek from DLA step on your ear?
Mariusz is very bad today!
What happened?
Mr Chairman didn't pet you in the morning?
Who is it?
A troublemaker from CP
Michaela. - Get out of here or there will be trouble
Why would there be trouble?
A citizen came to the deputy Jaroslaw's office
because he's worried about the fate of the homeland
Be gone now! - Or what will you do to me?
I will do nothing to you. Just go
That's enough!
Enough!
Hey, hey, cockerels. Take it easy!
Go ahead...
Very well
Then
let's have an exam
for the new prime minister of the IV RP
Repeat after me:
for the last eight years
What for the last eight years?
Don't ask, just repeat:
for the last eight years
for the last eight years...
I'd rather focus on the future
Would you?
In that case
repeat this:
our highest priority is
safety
Here, I'd add also:
and development...
No
Let's finish this. End of exam
Have I passed?
Unfortunately, you have no perspectives
Why?
The question
"why?" confirms that
I'm sorry - you're not ready. Maybe...
maybe some other time
Anyway - just look at yourself
You praised my looks a while ago!
I?
My wife says it's elegantly
Yes, but that was in the past
Versailles, Sobanski Palace - it's no more
You look like
a capitalist. An exploiter
I can make myself look scruffy. - That won't do any good
You'll always be an outsider
You'll always be associated with
their octopuses and not our butter
Butter is more expensive that octopus now
You don't get it...
It's not about what's more expensive, but where it's from
Our Beata
whatever you want to say about her
belongs to the Polish landscape
She
smells of Polish hay
of church porch
Sunday broth...
When I close my eyes
I see a stork's nest on her head
When I squint my eyes
I see nothing
on your head
Not even a tiny cockerel...
For the land
where it's a great travesty
to harm a stork's nest in a pear tree
for storks serve us all
I am homesick
Lord
So what, even if you know this?
You, Mateusz, are simply
not in that poem
And those scams in SKOK? Hmmm?
The devastated stud farm in Janow!
They don't tell about that on your TV, do they?
Tell me Mariusz, when you shave in the morning
who do you see in the mirror? Yourself?
Or a pumpkin with a cut out face?
- Now you've had it! - Moment! Easy!
Hi, I'm hi-edgy!
I've only brought a book for Mr Chairman...
Please be so kind as to hand it to him
It fell
How dare you!
Hello! I've got a book for Mr Dictator!
- Get him! - So you can read it!
So you can learn something about yourself
You're going to jail! You're going to jail!
I'm going nowhere!
And it will stay that way for a while...
I'm calm! I know the way!
I think I'll use the toilet before I leave. - No!
Come on, be a good sport!
It's occupied
And besides - there's a queue
Oh, then I'm the last one... - No, no, no!
He skipped the queue, huh!
So, how was it, son?
Not now, daddy...
Why not?
There once was a husband who loved his one-eyed wife so much
that he thought that all other women
have one eye too many
But what does it mean?
I have no people in the poems of the state treasury...
Go home!
Dada!...
Bye, girls!
He's a real boor...
And what a boor!
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