Hello, it's Carol Chapman, and today I'm interviewing Dr. Stephanie Stanfield. She
has a PhD in Energy Medicine and has been certified through the Association
of Comprehensive Energy Psychology. After years of study and research, "Dr. Steph,"
which is how she's known, has created a coaching program that is focused on
relieving and reducing stress and all the physical ailments that stress causes.
And I thought it would be really great to talk to Dr. Steph today because, of
course, as you know, my interest is public speaking, and, boy, don't we get a lot of
stress about public speaking, especially so much so that there's even, you know,
the term "public speaking fear," "public speaking anxiety," "the fear of public
speaking." I mean there's books written on it. You can go online and search, and
there's a lot of information. And the reality is, I've been speaking for over
15 years - and, it was much harder at first - but I almost always have to deal with
some fear before I start. So I'm really happy to talk with Dr. Steph today,
because she's the expert. Tell me Dr. Steph, do you have any suggestions for
dealing with public speaking fear. [Dr. Steph:] And thank you so much for having me and
let's doing this interview and all of those types of things, because I think
it's really important for people to understand what actually public speaking
fear is. And if we get into understanding what stress is, we can understand a
little bit more about what that fear is. And it's sometimes mislabeled, so I'd
like to take a little bit of a different approach, if you don't mind, Carol, okay? [Carol:] I'm up
for it. Let's do it. [Dr. Steph:] Okay, and the books that are labeled "public speaking stress,"
and "public speaking fear," can actually induce stress and fear, because what you
read, your mind tends to focus on. So then, it starts creating a belief and wrapping
things around the belief that says, "Well everybody has public speaking stress, so
I'll probably have to have public speaking stress too." And that simply
isn't true. So, what we're going to look at, is some of the things that stress is
and stress isn't, and some of the things you can do to not even experience the
slightest twinge of fear or stress around public speaking. [Carol:] I can hardly wait!
I never even thought of it this way, Stephanie. I mean, that is . . . I mean, that's
brilliant! That's brilliant! You're saying, basically,
that there's this thought form, this belief, that public speaking is scary. [Dr. Steph:] Yes.
[Carol:] And, in fact, there was: remember there was that statistic, where they asked a bunch
of people, "What is your greatest fear?" And you would expect them to say, "Death," but
it turned out that public speaking was a greater fear than dying! [Dr. Steph:] Yes. And
those things are kind of the sociological norms of, well, "Everybody's
going to have fear to speak in front of people." And that's simply not true. It's a
belief that has just, has no legs when you look at it from a different
perspective. So, let's talk a little bit about what stress is. Stress is actually
an adaptive demand or demand for change that's placed on an organism. So, it's the
demand for change placed on an organism. Well, yes, I suppose getting up in front
of a whole bunch of people is similar to a
demand for change, because normally, when you have conversations, they're one- on-one or
one, in a small group of people. So now your change is that you have a larger
audience. But if you can talk with one person easily you can talk with a group
of people. And there are some tricks and tips that people talk about like: imagine
your audience without their clothes on, okay? Well that means I'm already in the
audience. I'm seeing them. I'm fearful, and all of those tips and tricks are kind of
leaving my brain, because when you get stressed, the blood leaves the thinking
part of the brain and goes down into your arms and legs, so you can fight or
flight.So I'm standing in front of a group of people trying to remember a
trip, trip, trick or a tip, excuse me, and it's not able to come into consciousness,
because my blood isn't there. It's helping me survive, so I can't remember,
and I'm standing frozen, which is the result of some of our worst fears. So
what if you could eliminate the fear before you even get on the stage? [Carol:] Wait a minute, wait a minute, let's
just take a break. Are you . . . now, I know that you are a speaker and that you're
also . . you teach at the college level. And I've heard teachers say that on Sunday,
just before Monday when they've got to go and face all the students, they have
to deal with fear. And you're saying, you don't?
Is that correct? When you go out to speak, you're not afraid? [Dr. Steph:] No, not at all. [Carol:] Really?
[Dr. Steph:] Not at all. [Carol:] I love it! [Dr. Steph:] No! [Carol:] No? [Dr. Steph:] Because . . . okay, so, thoughts are beliefs. and
Beliefs actually become material of change in your body. So when you have a
thought, the words are vibration. They produce certain chemicals, and they're
agents of change for your mind-body system, okay? So if you say,
"I'm really nervous, I'm really anxious," or "I'm really scared to talk in front of
people," your whole nervous system works really hard to make that true. It says,
"Okay, you want to be scared? On a one-to- ten level, you want to go up to 20 this
time? Because last time you didn't seem to be satisfied when we were at a 15." And
so, it really works hard to make what you think about true for you. So if you just
change one word, one word in that sentence, from" I'm scared" to "I'm excited,"
or "I'm curious," or "I'm looking forward to speaking tomorrow," your body works just
as hard to make that statement true. And you find out you're not nearly as scared
or as nervous. You're actually more excited. And then you don't become scared.
You become excited. You don't get anxious, you get curious. You wonder, you look for
possibilities of a wonderful talk where there's lots of interaction and the
people are actually getting what you're telling them, just like you and I are
having this conversation now. I think you're getting what I'm telling you. I
just know that I'm telling it to a lot more people and they're getting it. [Carol:] That
is really funny because I was thinking, while you're talking, how I'm feeling so
comfortable, because, I mean, we know each other. And, I wasn't feeling any fear. And
then, soon as you said, "Well, speaking in front of a group of people, it's just
that there's more people." I got this crick [strange sound]. And are you saying that's because of my
belief? [Dr. Steph:] Yes, and sometimes the beliefs can be conscious and we speak them out as
conversation. That's one of the ways we find out what our beliefs are. So, my
belief is I love speaking in front of people. I love working with people in
large numbers, because more people get to hear what I have to
say, and maybe I can change a few lives for the better. [Carol:] Without a doubt, I have
had some wonderful experiences speaking in public. And I have, you know, I've met
so many wonderful people and usually the fear doesn't last very long. And by the
break, I'm talking with people, they're interested in what I've been saying.
Almost what it really . . . when I start looking out at my audience, and there's
people with their - they're definitely interested, some of them have smiles on
their face - I'm in a different place. So I can see what you're saying.
It's like I've got something in my mind ahead of time that this could be
terrible. The reality is, it's not. [Dr. Steph:] No, and what you focus on, or what you place
your attention on, is really what expands in your world. If I said to you before
your next speech, "Carol, what was the worst speaking experience you ever had?"
And you brought that up, and you talked about it, and you shared it with me, and
we didn't do anything else, that memory would be the first thing that comes up
when you're getting ready to do your next speech. [Carol:] (coughing and choking) I'm thinking about it right now, and it's choking me up. I'm like, "Oh, my God! It was awful!" [Dr. Steph:] It was awful! [Carol:] It was just terrible, yes. I don't ever want to have an experience like that again. [Dr. Steph:] No, but if I
said, "Carol what was your best speaking experience that you remember having?" And
you told me about it, and you said, "And I know, like, six people asked me questions
that I knew were important to them, and seven people did this or a bunch of
people signed up for my mailing list," or whatever, and you got the, the
reinforcement that your speech had value and that's where we
left it, guess how you would approach your next speaking event? [Carol:] Well, right now
I'm feeling superb!" [Dr. Steph:] Yes! [Carol:] I'm remembering standing-room-only,
all those beaming faces, people swarming to find out more, selling books, you know,
just this wonderful experience. You're absolutely right. I'm not choked up at
all! Or seized up, or anything. I'm feeling like, I'm just feeling very, very happy. [Dr. Steph:] Yes, and so these are
some of the things that you can do before your speech, so that you go into
your speech as relaxed, as natural. Let's think of some nice words, so: "confident"
"successful," "standing-room-only." Oo, that's a good one. That, that kind of gave me
chills: "standing-room-only," "vibrant," "energetic," those are some . . . "curious,"
"interested" . . . those are some of the words that you can talk about when you think
about your next speaking event. And you might even eliminate having the fear
beforehand, so that when you get onstage, you've got blood flow to all the places
of your brain, your brain seems to be working at optimal levels instead of,"Oh! I can't think of what I'm supposed to say, Oh!" You
come in going, "I'm curious as to how the audience and I are gonna get along. And
when you get the reinforcement from your audience that your topic is
relevant, and the questions are relevant, you relax even more, and things seem to
just smooth out even more. [Carol:] I like it. I like it. And you're right. This is unique.
I don't hear this often - I don't think I've ever heard it before to tell you the truth! I've
heard of people visualizing a result they want, and this is similar,
but you're saying, 'Think of the times when things went really well,'
which is a real thing. It's not a pretend thing. And, and that, you know, these
pretend things: something in the back of your mind is saying, "Oh yeah, but this is just
a pretend thing." [Dr. Steph:] Yes, "I'm just visualizing this, hoping that it might happen." [Carol:] That's right, visualizing, right. [Dr. Steph:] And
what's interesting is in, when you're dealing with fear, hope becomes a
four-letter word. "I hope, I hope." But, when you say, "I remember a time, and these are some
words that come up for me when I think of it," that's what you do long before
you're, you're doing the speech. So, Carol, one of the things that we've talked
about is, you know, visualization. You kind of think, in the back of your brain, that
it's not really real, and it may not happen. Whereas, if you remember one of
the events where you succeeded, and you think about the words that were said to
you, or that you associate it with, like, "I was successful." "That was a great event," as
we mentioned earlier: "standing-room-only" and feel those emotions, you can actually
prevent fear and anxiety long before it happens and walk into your event
mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, in the present moment, which
is another key for letting go of the fear. But, "in the present moment, and ready,
and excited, and your audience is interested, and you're delivering value,"
and when you can begin saying those things over and over again, that replaces
the old belief that you have to be anxious. You can be excited, you don't have to
be fearful. You can love what you do and enjoy sharing it with other people.
[Carol:] It makes me think - I love this Russian opera singer Anna Netrebko.
She's just gorgeous, and just, you know, full of life,
vibrant, and there's a recording of her on YouTube, where I think she's somewhere
in Germany in an amphitheater with probably thousands of people there. Okay,
now, this is the kind of thing most people would want to faint, but she comes
out there - she was wearing this gorgeous red dress, you know. Oh, she looks so beautiful
in it. And she came running out, and she's just, like, leaping around and just, like,
full of energy. And so, when I think of how you . . . so that's how she was handling
it. Instead of going, "I'm so terrified," she was, like, "Wow, this is so exciting! I
can hardly wait!" And she turned around, and, you know, everyone, the whole place,
just went crazy. [Dr. Steph:] Yes. [Carol:] Just were so happy to see her. And at one point, you know, she
had about six microphones in front of her, and so she's singing this something
from Carmen, and at some point she walks away from the microphone. And all those
thousands of people can still hear her. And as soon as they realized that, the place
went wild. You know, she was that good. But that's the kind of energy it took for
her to do that. So yeah, I believe you and I am gonna try to do an Anna Netrebko
from now on. When I go out there, I'm going to go, "Yay!!!" [Dr. Steph:] And that's a great story and illustration. [Carol:] Would you help people who
help people are, who have public speaking, eh, have too much public speaking excitement? Or, you know
know, who wanted to achieve that? People who have had issues with that - could you help
people with . . .? [Dr. Steph:] Absolutely, yes, and I'd love to do that because, that's pretty easy in
the scope of things. Um, changing emotional content, changing belief systems, that's
pretty easy to do, overall. [Carol:] That's exciting to know. [Dr. Steph:] Yes, one of the
things I tell my clients is, Change a word, change your life." [Carol:] Fantastic! Thanks
so much, Stephanie, I've really enjoyed this and people are really going to
benefit from what you just shared. And if they want to get a deeper relationship
with you, like I said, that link is just down below. [Dr. Steph:] Look down below, she's got it.
[Carol:] Down there. Thank you Dr. Steph. For more of Dr.
Stephanie Stanfield's wisdom and experience on public speaking fear . . . uh, I
mean, excitement . . . just click on the thumbnails below and remember to comment,
like, and subscribe. Thanks so much, Carol Chapman
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