[slide projector whirring]
[slide projector click]
QUINN: Hey, guys.
On the count of three, shout "hail and well met, Bowling Green."
One, two, three.
[crowd shouts "hail and well met, Bowling Green!"]
We're out here with Brother Jed today.
Say hello, Brother Jed.
JED: Hello! Get right with God! Turn from sin!
QUINN: [dancing] I love this song!
JED: Don't follow The Wizard!
- QUINN: Follow The Wizard! - JED: Follow the Lord Jesus Christ!
- JED: Drop, Wizard! - QUINN: Hey, who's cooler, me or this guy?
- JED: You! - QUINN: Vote now in the polls!
[slide projector click]
MORGAN: I originally was not going to record any more Wizard antics,
but uh, Molly told me that a Bible man was on campus,
and then Quinn started livestreaming, so I'm here now, I guess.
Oh, wonderful.
CINDY: Back in the day...
I was a bad girl at the University of Florida.
[ding] - QUINN: Me too!
CINDY: We were the peak of the sexual revolution!
I found and read this book, and I found the answer in Jesus Christ!
The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, hallelujah!
[eccentric, quirky music]
MORGAN: I just can't get over her denim skirt, to be honest.
- I'm a 27-year-old virgin!
My future husband could be on this campus,
but I doubt it, the way these boys are!
[crowd cheering loudly and applauding]
MORGAN: Whoa!
- Question number one. Are you ready?
- Yes.
[ding] - Question number two.
[buzzer noise]
[crowd yelling] - Question number three.
[crowd is confused] [ding]
- No!
[buzzer noise]
- No, ma'am. [ding]
- [from crowd] You just gotta get a 70%, I believe in you!
- No. [ding]
- No, ma'am. [ding]
- Yes, of course. [ding]
- Of course. I've been Catholic my whole life.
[crowd cheering loudly and clapping]
- The last and final question! [crowd mutters excitedly]
- The priest? - [from crowd] Who prays to the priest?
- Do you go confess your sins to the priest or to Jesus Christ?
- I thought the priest was a vessel to Christ.
- No. - No?
[buzzer noise] - Three strikes! You're out!
[crowd booing and shouting]
- [from crowd] That's a technicality, boo!
QUINN: She's a Libra, it was destined to be this way.
[whimsical music]
- I am actually trans. - I'm a flaming bisexual, baby!
[crowd cheering]
- JED: You are a bisexual? - Yes.
JED: If you had your choice, if you could only have sex with one person in this crowd,
who would you choose? [crowd shouting "pick me!"]
- I pick every girl who said "pick me," f*ck yeah!
MORGAN: How do you like my jacket?
[crowd reeling in shock]
JED: I blame you boys for these girls being lesbians!
[ding] [crowd cheering]
JED: This guy's name is Paul! [girl in crowd screams]
[crowd laughing] - MORGAN: The main character??
[Paul rapping very fast]
QUINN: This guy slaps.
[crowd snapping to the beat]
[crowd cheering and chanting "PAUL THE MAN"]
JED: This is a Black thing, this rap.
[crowd screaming] - QUINN: HOLY SHIT.
MORGAN: WHAT THE F*CK.
[singing "Amazing Grace"]
[crowd booing] - QUINN: Put Paul the Man back on!
- [from crowd] You're losing this rap battle, my guy.
- [from crowd] Oh no, he's dead!
JED: What's that book?
He's got the Satanic Bible!
[beep]
MORGAN: Supposedly the Bible people are coming back today,
so Quinn and I are getting very prepared by printing out some safe sex guides
to pass out to the crowd, along with some condoms.
[upbeat, eccentric music]
So I've got a fat stack of safe sex pamphlets.
The show starts at noon, and I'm very excited for The Wizard to pass these out.
Oh! Also, Quinn's getting interviewed by the BG News today,
about their role as The Wizard, so that's exciting.
So we've got a casual wizard aesthetic happening.
QUINN: I'm doing Margaritaville today.
While they're setting up and stuff, I wanna be there like an hour before.
I'm gonna just listen to Jimmy Buffet's Margarittaville on a loop,
and when they get here, I'll just be like, "What took you so long?"
- MORGAN: Here's a fat stack of pamphlets for you. - QUINN: Ohhhh my god,
so how many are there? - MORGAN: Two hundred.
- QUINN: Two hundred? - MORGAN: Yeah.
- QUINN: All right, cool.
[eccentric music continues]
MORGAN: So it looks like people are doing the Cha Cha Slide right now.
There is... a lot.
Can I ask you a question? A couple questions?
I've been seeing more wizards now. Is that like, a thing that's happening?
MORGAN: Ahhh, I see.
Excuse me. What's with the pole? Like, explain the pole.
- I mean, I don't know about you,
but I wouldn't touch these guys with a ten-foot pole.
MORGAN: Oh, there's Quinn.
QUINN: Make good choices. Be safe.
MORGAN: How does it feel to like, not be needed, like you've started something and now it's growing?
QUINN: It's relieving, low-key.
I enjoy doing my whole schtick and my whole performance, but like,
the people have taken it out of my hands, and that was kind of the goal all along,
is for people to have fun with it. - MORGAN: Yeah.
[music continues]
MORGAN: Hey, David.
What is he talking about? Like what is he going on about?
[laughter]
- Right here. High five!
High five for my reasonable people!
[slower eccentric music]
- QUINN: Ooooooh! - God knows you've been naughty or nice, y'know.
- QUINN: You have my attention. [laughter]
QUINN: Wait, nonono, go through it slowly so I can count which ones I count under.
- Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?
I mean, I'm pretty righteous, would y'all agree? [crowd agreeing]
- But then the next line says, "Do not be deceived! [crowd exclaiming "oh no!"]
- Though some people are deceived that they are righteous.
It says, "Neither fornicators..."
- QUINN: We got one! [ding] - Does everybody know what a fornicator is?
- QUINN: It's boning! - A fornicator is somebody who fornicates.
- Nor idolaters. - QUINN: I'm two-for-two! [ding]
- An idol could be anything you put before God.
It could be other religions. It could be school or money.
[laughter] - Another one!
- Number three are the adulterers!
Nor sodomites.
- QUINN: Is that being gay?
- That's the gay stuff. - Okay, cool. [ding]
- Nor thieves. A thief is kind of like a communist or socialist.
[crowd muttering] - MORGAN: Oh, what???
[ding]
- This is a big one, are you ready? [crowd getting ready]
- QUINN: So ready. - Nor drunkards. [ding]
Nor revilers, nor extortionists shall inherit the kingdom of God.
QUINN: Hey guys, let's do three cheers for sorcery!
Hip hip! [crowd shouting "hooray"]
- Johnny Cash is in Heaven. I know that.
Obviously, Ronald Reagan's in Heaven.
[crowd loudly disagreeing]
QUINN: Ronald Reagan started the AIDS crisis! Ronald Reagan killed thousands of people!
Ronald Reagan's in Hell! - [from the crowd] And the war on drugs.
[crowd getting angry]
- QUINN: Whoawhoawhoawhoa, wait. - MORGAN: You know like, anyone can get AIDS, right?
- You know who's in Hell? - QUINN: Who?
- [from crowd] Ronald Reagan. - How do you know?
- Elvis Presley's in Hell.
[crowd agreeing] - QUINN: Cool. - I can see it, honestly.
- Michael Jackson.
- QUINN: Nope. - Oh, hell no!
- You know who else is in Hell? - QUINN: Who?
- Jim Morrison. - Who??
- Who the f*ck is that? - The Doors.
[beep]
MORGAN: Since it's my senior year of college, that was my last time ever having to deal with those clowns.
I posted about them on Facebook and learned that Brother Jed has been going to campuses
for fifty years, in all fifty states.
My friends' parents were like, "Oh yeah, he came to my campus when I was a kid."
So it's just a gift that keeps on giving, I suppose.
These particular people use their religion as a justification to be complete assholes.
They're super racist, they're super homophobic, they hate when women do whatever they wanna do
instead of submitting to their husbands,
and if you look at the Wikipedia page for Brother Jed, apparently he thinks he's some sort of sinless prophet.
So basically, they are complete wackjobs.
And it's been mentioned to me, "Why don't you guys just leave them alone?
If you walk away, they won't have a platform!" But uh, clearly that's not true,
because they've been doing this for so long.
And there are always freshmen who are brand new on campus and are gonna be like,
"Oh, what's this going on?" And they're gonna wander over, and they're gonna get their feelings hurt.
Someone has to be there to make it joyful and ridiculous.
And that's where The Wizard comes in. I just kind of record things.
I don't wanna be an even bigger platform for their hate. I'm just trying to make them look ridiculous.
So instead of talking more about who they are, and their website and mission and all that,
I'm gonna show you these cool stickers I made that you can buy, online, right now!
So these are Rude Buns. Stickers are roughly 3 x 3 inches.
This one says f*ck off.
I also have two others for sale currently.
There's "don't talk to me" and "god damn."
There are only two of this particular one left, so if you hurry, you can get both of them.
They're $2.90 each, plus shipping. I have no control over the price of the shipping;
it depends on where you live.
I have seven "don't talk to me" in stock, and nine "f*ck off"s in stock.
I'm trying to sell all of them because I would like to buy more printer ink and upgrade my materials to be waterproof.
Currently, these are on vinyl sticker paper, which is not waterproof,
but they would look great on your laptop, which is also not waterproof, so there you go.
Instead of supporting these Bible people, support your local independent artist
and buy my shit.
You can also support me by contributing to my Patreon, or my PayPal or Ko-Fi,
or you can just subscribe and tell your friends.
And I will see you in the next video.
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