Game of Thrones Season 7 in 3 minutes, sort of.
A quick recap of everything important from this season, warning: spoilers!
Arya takes Walder's face and all the other Frey in the castle die poisoned by their enemies.
Cersei has a big map and teams up with Euron and his many ships.
Sam gets a shitty job at the citadel but finds out that there is dragonglass beneath Dragonstone
and finds Jorah but sadistically cures him of his skin sun burn.
Arya meets Ed Sheeran and is reunited with Hot-Pie Azor Ahai, finds out home is safe
and goes back to Winterfell.
The Hound joins the Brotherhood and sees a mountain in the fire, not his brother, but
the place near the wall where the army of the dead is.
Daenerys finally gets to Westeros, touches the ground and gets in the castle to wash
her hand.
Mellisandre tells Dany to meet up with Jon, Tyrion says he's a right proper lad and they
should summon him.
Sam's father joins Cercei and gets a promotion and Qyburn builds a dragonslayer weapon.
Tyrion plans the attack of Westeros.
Grey Worm and Missandei have some good time together.
Euron destroys the Greyjoy fleet, kidnaps Yara, Ellaria and her daughter for Cersei
and Theon starts to Reek again and goes for a swim.
Jon meets the dragons and Daenerys and her 100 titles versus his King in the North one,
they measure their powers for a bit and Davos comes to the rescue, revealing quite a lot
about Jon, and Dany is obsessed with everyone bending the knee.
Euron delivers the gifts to Cersei, she promises they will marry once the war is over and Euron
asks Jaime for some sex advice.
Cersei kills Tyene with poison, like Myrcella died and gets Mycroft Holmes and the iron
bank on their side again.
Bran returns to Winterfell and tells Sansa he recorded her rape scene and it was great
and scares Littlefinger.
Grey Worm takes Casterly Rock but Euron with his magic bombs ruin their ships, and the
real Lannister army attacks Highgarden to steal their money and Jaime persuades Cersei
that she shouldn't have Olenna die a tormentous death and instead he poisions her.
As the poison takes over her body, she confesses she is the one who killed Joffrey.
Arya gets home too, hugs Sansa and also gets scared by Bran.
Jon is allowed to mine the dragonglass, shows Daenerys the drawing he made in the cave to
make her believe the army of the dead is real . The dotharaki along with Drogon attack the
Lannister forces and burn all their shits, Bron shoots Qyburn's weapon and hits Drogon,
he falls down but he took his vitamins, Jaime tries to kill Dany but Bron saves him from
fire.
The Lannister soldiers bend the knee except for Ranyll and Dickon who get roasted.
Jorah gets back to his queen.
Sam is annoyed by the old farts at the citadel so he steals their books, drops out of college
and gets out.
Tyrion has a plan to unite everyone against the white walkers by showing a wight to Cersei,
he goes and talks with Jaime and Davos finds Gendry.
Cersei reveals that she is pregnant.
Arya tries to spy on Littlefinger but he outplays her.
The Hound and the Brotherhood join the fellowship of the wight and on they go beyond the wall.
They keep going until a zombie bear attacks them, find a group of wights and capture one.
The big army comes so they tell Gendry to run real fast, and get help from Daenerys.
The suicide squad gets surrounded by the Night King's army.
Thoros dies of cold, the Hound throws a rock and the fight begins, but have no fear, the
dragons are here.
They save the day but Jon needs more kills for an achievement and the Night King bets
he can hit a flying dragon, so he kills Viserion.
Jon tells them to fly, you fools, they leave and he gets rescued by "no time to get on
a horse" Benjen, and the Night King turns Viserion into his Ice Dragon.
Jon metaphorically bends the knee to Dany on the boat.
Everyone gets to the big meeting in King's Landing, the Hound prepared the Cleganebowl,
Dany makes an entrance as always, they show Cersei the wight and she pisses her pants,
Euron said I'm out and Cersei agrees to their terms if Jon promises not to attack her after
the great war is over, but he can't do that.
Tyrion convinces her to return and she tells them she will fight together the army of the
dead.
Theon gets a few hits in his non existing balls and goes to rescue his sister.
Sansa judges Littlefinger for his crimes and treason and the best schemer in the game finally
gets outplayed, and he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling
kids and their visions, and Arya kills him.
Cersei reveales that she lied to Dany and Jon, and that she won't help them, and Euron
is actually going to get the golden company army from Essos, but Jaime is an honorable
man and finally agrees that his sister is a cunt, so he leaves to fight like he promised.
Sam gets back to Winterfell and together with Bran we finally find out Jon's real name is
Aegon Targaryen and that he is the heir to the throne, him and Daenerys have their boat
sex and the Night King gets to the wall with all his power and breaks it down using his
zombie dragon!
The wall's watch is ended, but until season 8, our watch begins!
And that's it for the recap, I started this series as games in 3 minutes, but since this
is basically a GAME of thrones and my favorite show I guess it can get a free pass!
Thanks for watching, subscribe or I'll kill you and turn you into a wight and I wish you
good fortune in the wars to come.
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