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At railroad crossings, freight trains stop for it out of professional courtesy.
It's called Max because if it were any larger, it wouldn't fit through the Panama Canal.
Though its body is made from aluminum, it's a Platinum because Ford is ironic.
And it has 10 forward gears like an old Schwinn Varsity.
Everything about the 2018 Expedition Max Platinum 4x4 tested here emphasizes the SUV's size.
The switch to aluminum reduces mass (a bit), but as with the F-150, Ford doesn't want
anyone thinking the Expedition is wimpy.
As if anyone ever could.
This isn't just a full-size SUV, it's a 6047-pound psychological-distortion event.
HIGHS Turbo lug without turbo lag, brilliant transmission,
room for ballroom dancing.
LOWS Conservative interior design, bulldozer handling,
and shouldn't it weigh less?
The Max is the Suburban to the regular Expedition's Tahoe—the 131.6-inch wheelbase and 221.9-inch
overall length outstretch the not-a-Max's by 9.1 and 11.9 inches, respectively.
Its additional length doesn't change the commodious lounging area for the seven passengers,
but the rear doors are longer for better access to the third row, and there are an additional
15 cubic feet of storage space.
Chevy's Suburban goes 130.0 inches on the wheelbase and 224.3 inches overall.
Most of the Expedition's new body is shared with its opulent brother, the Lincoln Navigator.
And the suspension design and steel ladder frame have only slightly evolved since an
independent rear suspension was adopted for the 2003 model year.
The sole engine in the new Expedition is the twin-turbocharged 3.5-liter V-6, which is
rated at 375 horsepower on regular fuel in lower trims and at 400 premium-swilling horses
in the Platinum model.
But it's the new 10-speed automatic transmission that's a buffet of mechanical goodness.
As in the F-150 (and other Ford and GM products), this is a smart, decisive gearbox that sticks
with a gear when it should and doesn't distractingly hunt for the next cog at every opportunity.
Its behavior is particularly impressive when towing; its downshifts on grades are quick
and precise, never jerking the trailer.
The full-zoot Expedition uses the first three gears to steam from zero to 60 mph in only
5.9 seconds and crosses the quarter-mile in 14.6 seconds at 94 mph in fifth.
The Platinum trim is swollen with 480 pound-feet of peak torque by 3250 rpm, but keep the engine
boiling with boost and it'll suck down a gallon of fuel every 14 miles, as ours did.
By the EPA's methodology, the Max matches the Suburban in combined fuel economy, at
18 mpg.
Use the push-button all-wheel-drive system and it'll yank a Bayliner up a mossy boat
ramp just fine; when equipped with the Heavy Duty Trailer Tow package, its 9000-pound tow
rating is more than a match for the bow rider's heft.
Inside, the rotary shifter is mounted flat on the center console—taking up nearly as
much space as a conventional shifter would.
So what's the point?
Compared with the Navigator's, the ExMaxPlat's interior is conservative, with more conventional
controls and a smaller infotainment display screen.
There's a rough-hewn feel to some plastic pieces that are more work-truckish than luxury
liner.
And while the seats are covered in acres of inconsistent-quality leather, at least the
seating surfaces are well shaped.
It's all old-school, last-century design while its Lincoln brother has nudged itself
into the 21st century.
There's nothing thrilling about this big beast's driving dynamics.
The Max's ride is on par with that of the GM alternatives, but the ute's steering
is keeping secrets, its 285/45R-22 Hankook Dynapro HT tires aren't that tenacious,
and it doesn't carve corners as much as hack at them with a fire ax.
And with an as-tested price over $84,000, it's some $13,500 beyond the starting cost
of the better-driving but admittedly smaller Mercedes-Benz GLS450.
Aesthetically and conceptually, the Expedition Max is boldly American.
It's a throwback truck among ever more attractive crossovers.
But if you need what it does, it does those things well.
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