How's it going everyone this is how to
happy and I am Dono. In this video
we're going to talk about a way to block
out some negative thoughts and that's by
stopping yourself from though spiraling. A
series of thoughts similar to this might
sound a little bit familiar to you. I'm
going to fail, my test and then when i
fail my test, I'm going to fail the class,
when I fail the class, I'm gonna have to
drop out of school. When I drop out of
school my parents aren't going to
respect me anymore, if my parents don't
respect me anymore no one will respect
me, I'll never be able to make any
friends, no one will ever want to hang
out with me and I'll just be alone
forever. I'm so dumb I never can do
anything right. Alright so i may have
greatly exaggerated the speed at which
this process happens, but a lot of times
we find ourselves with one smaller
problem that creates a negative thought
and then we let that negative thought kind
of ruminate and grow and change into
other things that we're worried about or
afraid of until before long we have
these incredibly grandiose negative
ideas that are about our self-worth and
we just feel so gross and like we can't
accomplish anything. Occasionally we'll
look back a day or two later and wonder
why we were in such a bad place over
something so small and it's a little
thing that i like to call thought
spiraling, which is allowing one small
native spot to grow and grow and grow
and grow until it really debilitate your
entire mood for a period of time. Thought
spiraling usually starts with one little
negative though. So for the example that we
use before the I don't know if I'm
prepared for this test. And that's the
key moment where we've now opened the
door to further negative thoughts. So it
starts with I don't know if I'm prepared
for this test and that quickly turns
into I don't think I'm going to pass
this test. Before long that thought
trails into another thought and suddenly
you have again these big really negative
thoughts about who you are as a person
and your entire character that all
started from one small negative thought.
With each negative thought that you
allow to happen it builds steam right?
Your brain gets more attuned to looking
for negative
and you're looking for reasons to prove
yourself right, because we have a natural
confirmation bias so suddenly we have
this one problem another thought, another
though, another thought, we remember this
thing, and this thing, and this thing and
again we're into this very negative
place. And once you're at the bottom of
one of these spirals it can be really
difficult to pull yourself out. When
you're at the bottom of one of these
spirals you can be stuck there for a
while until someone snaps you out of it
or an event happens that kind of changes
your perspective, but there are a few
things that you can try. First you want
to challenge the assumptions that your
mind is making like pause for a second
take a step back and ask yourself is
this realistic based on the situation? If
you're in the middle of one of these
funnels you might have a thought like I
said something weird to one of my
friends today they're never going to
talk to me again. And if you pause for a
second step back and think about really
how likely that is you realize - one that
you may be in one of these negative
thoughts spirals and two - that it's probably
not as likely as you think. Often just
challenging these thoughts is enough to
kind of snap you out of one of the
spirals. If you recognize that you're
having these really negative thoughts
you can also try framing it as exactly
the opposite so if it's you know a
really negative thought you can say okay
what would be the opposite of this. Now
that might be something really
ridiculous and it might feel ridiculous
to even think about but a lot of times
it can also snap you out for that
exact reason. This can work in one of two ways
one it can show you how you know
unrealistic the thoughts are right. If
you have the super-negative thought of I'm going
to be alone forever and no one will ever like
me and you switch that to the opposite
which would be like every single person
that I ever meet will love me forever.
When you see the scale of the thought
you can kind of tell how unrealistic it
is. Another thing that that's going to do
is once you start with you know one
positive thought it works the same way
it's easier to spiral in that direction
once you've already made some momentum.
So going exactly the opposite of the
negative thoughts that you catch can help
you break out of spiral sometimes. The
biggest benefit however is once you see
each side hopefully it will bring you to
a more
realistic middle ground so that you can
have a perspective on the situation that
is actually real. Getting another
person's opinion can also help a lot. So
if you have someone that you trust that
you know supportive that's going to
listen to you and bring them in and tell
them basically your thought process or
the way that you started spiraling and
all the types of negative thoughts that
you've had. A lot of times if you know
someone like this it's really easy for
them to say wait a minute you can't say
that you're a bad person because you might
not be ready for this test right. For
them as an outside perspective it's
going to be really easy to say these two
things aren't even connected I don't
know why you're letting your thoughts
spiral like this. Also if you catch
yourself in one of these negative
spirals you can try to just redirect
your attention back to the primary focus.
So if you're in this kind of no one is ever going to
like me and you realize
that you're at the bottom of one of
these spirals you can try and just cut
all that middle stuff out and go back to
okay I'm feeling a little unprepared
for this test what can I do to solve
that problem. That technique can be a
little bit harder though if you're at
the bottom of one of these spirals and
don't have a lot of practice being aware
of your thoughts and trying to redirect
them. The most effective strategy that
you can use is to just practice
awareness of your thoughts so that you
can catch these spirals right at the
start because if it's you know one or
two thoughts in and you go oh wait a
minute I'm having these really negative
spiraling thoughts that may not even be
connected. Then you can redirect yourself
back to something more productive but
when you're at the bottom of one of
these spirals it's much harder to bring
yourself back into a more actionable
state. It might take you some time but
the next time you catch yourself with
these spiraling negative thoughts just
try to replace them with something more
realistic and actionable. It's going to
be a habit that you have to build
because if you're not used to being
aware of your thoughts then a lot of them
are going to slip by. Even if you are
used to it a lot of times these thoughts
are going to live by, but the more you
practice the more you're able to
direct how you're thinking about
yourself especially. All right let's move
on to the exercise. This is going to be a
little more difficult than normal
however you can still practice blocking
negative thought spiraling by becoming
more aware of your thoughts. If you want
to practice a good way is to set a timer
for random times throughout the day and
when the timer goes off it's a signal to
check your thoughts. So if you catch
yourself with a negative thought or
spiraling replace it with something more
actionable. So basically set a timer
every time the timer goes off, check your
thoughts. If it's a negative thought try
to replace it with something more
actionable and realistic. As always if
you have any questions comments topics
you want me to cover leave them down
in the box below. That's all I've got for
this video I will see you next time. You
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See you next time!
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