Hello everybody, my name is Vanessa. Welcome to
my YouTube channel. In this specific video
I want to talk to you about why I recommend
to search for love online.
I'm 28 years old and I got married 3 years ago
to the love of my life, Davide, he is Italian and we met
online
about 10 years ago approximately.
We met in person in 2012...
...and 2 years later we got married.
So, everything I'm going to tell you is based on my own experience
with love online.
Why do I recommend to search for love online?
Look, I recommend this to people who have tried everything. All kinds of relationships
and none of them have worked. Because they always look for
the same type of person
the same pattern. The girl has to be very pretty, perfect
or the guy has to be strong, he gotta have money,
a car, a boat. You know, we classify people based on those things
and at the end, real love
is not any of that. And the appearance of something can trick you
or
the physical appearance does not last forever.
Or, if you are in a environment where you can't find
someone of the opposite sex or if you live in a place
where everyone in town
are your cousins or are related to you in some way
I recommend to you to search love online
in those special cases. People don't believe it but there are advantages
of looking for love online.
One of them is that there are many
web sites dedicated to this
and they ask you to fill in a questionnaire, this long
this big, so so. And they ask about everything
because they want to know as much as possible about you
to match you with the right people
the potential candidates
closer to your personality,
believes, manners, traditions.
So, today these web sites are
very focused on doing this with each user.
Another advantage is that you can see
the profile of a person before message him/her or
reply to a message, yes or no. You can have a better idea
of how this person is, based on his/her description
on his or her profile
on the image posted. You can sort of know if you could like
him/her or not, without hurting their feelings,
without doing it, you know, face to face
which is a bit uncomfortable
and it is painful. And, a very important thing is that
the adults that are using these web sites to find love,
most of them, I'm not telling you all of them,
most of them are looking for a a serious relationship
a stable relationship. Someone to get married to.
Hence, they're not going to play games
or have misunderstandings that could waste your time.
I always get asked...
"How did you do with the language, you met online...
and none of you spoke each other's language? How did you do?
Davide didn't speak any Spanish
I didn't speak any Italian. I thought it was pretty,
romantic, "che bello", historic, etc
but I understood absolutely nothing.
Davide used a lot google translate,
he used that tool for everything, he translated paragraphs,
the things he wanted to tell me, he translated them there and he'd send them to me
and sometimes we couldn't understand each other. Sometimes I had to guess
"maybe he means this or that"
but, we were able to communicate.
Slowly, we started talking
First
only with audio calls, you know
and then videocalls and in that way he learned a lot of Spanish.
By simply talking to me in Spanish
If you are a person who says: "well, I don't know, I feel embarrassed"...
"I like this girl or this guy, but I don't speak her/his language"
There's a solution for that.
Today, there are many devices that can help you
to translate simultaneously what you are saying.
Today, Google Translate is ufff
amazing. It even tells you
how to pronounce
a word.
There are also YouTube tutorials to help you to learn phrases
or o learn another language.
There is also another option that I think will last...
it is to take classes, English, Italian whatever the language is
you can do it. In our countries there are many
school languages for that
One-hour classes a day,
or a full-day class during the weekends.
I learned Italian and French
in college during the last year and a half
I took those classes, and I loved them.
It was awesome, to be able to communicate in another language,
in two completely different languages...
...be able to write, to me was a great experience
and not only that, thanks to my Italian classes
I was able to travel to Italy in a study abroad program
during the winter session, and it was there when
I met Davide in person, and today we are married.
Not to mention, the scientifically proven benefits
that there are of being bilingual. And also,
this can help you in your professional career.
Your resumé will stand out
before any manager or human resources person.
Lastly,
It would be great if you could travel.
You have talked for a while to this person, not only by web cam
by Messenger, WhatsApp, on the phone,
You know each other so so. It would be great if you could travel to his/her country.
Number one, because you are going to see the person
in his/her environment, in his/her "sauce". You will see
how he/she moves, says, does, does not.
You will meet his/her friends, you will meet the family
which is very important, at the moment of deciding
to continue with the relationship because you can see how he/she treats
his/her mother, siblings, father.
You can see his/her traditions, how the culture is,
the religion, everything. It can help you to decide...
"yes I think I can continue with this person"
"there is kinship" or...
"look, I don't think it is the best...
maybe we should break up or give us some time, be friends"
There is no losing, is what I want you to take into account.
"Oh well, I went there, I lost, I am not with this person anymore"
If you are taking the risk, putting your heart out there, online
and you are doing it with a good intention and for love,
there is no losing, really. If you decide to travel, I want to tell you something
I recommend to you to get your own lodging.
This is very important.
And you are going to tell me, "but, why? if he/she is telling me I can
stay at his/her place. I can save some money" No way!
We can't think in that way here, and I am going to tell you why...
It had happened in many cases that one of the two
travels and he/she is thinking that the other person is waiting for him/her
at the airport, but the other person does not show up, pick up the phone, texts...
disappears completely,
How do you react there, not knowing where to go...
with no plan? NO, that's why
you have to book a hotel or a hostel room.
You can also check out an AIRBNB that
can be cheaper. Couchsurfing can also
help you out, you don't have to pay in many cases
simply carry out some domestic chores.
And the other reason is that you have to have your own space
OK? You have not seen this person in flesh and blood
face to face, so it is going to be a big shock
to see him/her, to interact,
see how he/she laughs, talks, smells,
hence, you don't want to be under the same roof
with so many feelings and things going on
It is better to be separated.
Another thing is that, if there is no chemistry, it is more comfortable
that each of you are apart, and you don't have to act
in a certain way because you are staying at his/her place.
It would be very very uncomfortable.
This is it for this week. Next week, I will continue with
this topic.
I will talk about, when to look for love online,
where to look for love online, how to show yourself online
to search find the right person.
See you next week. bye.
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