burning eyes entertainment presents The H-guys in magikoi
I think they're responding to your story oh! that's stupid. Fuck you! It took you a second. I got chased by nigerians. it wasn't
fun I don't doubt it i had to hide you were chased by Nigerians in Japan yeah
they're actually all over the place in Japan if you walk through fuckin
Shibuya especially which is a district in Tokyo kind of like a club bar
district mm-hmm you walk through there on like a weekend night just so many
Nigerians coming up to you and going like hey man hey man pussy big
titties pussy pussy big titties trying to get you to go to like their brothel
strip club things okay except I walked past one of them he came up to me like hey
man hey man and I was like no pussy I'm sick of it
no he's like nah man tacos I have a taco truck oh my god
all right then ha I'm worried about you Miyako Chan you should be why do you
sound like you're better than me even a man like Yamato is falling to my
attractiveness after all it's true I have my own subroute huh did I say something
like that you said the truth that I'm awesome today like always
I was lying are you stupid I'm worried about Gakutos brain is he going to be
okay in the future what do you what are these childhood friends the merciless
damnit I was longing for a life where I needed more than a dozen condoms am I
long for a life where I can be true to myself and you just fucking shut me
down how bad are you sexually aware Yamato made me sexually aware I'm not
talking to you I'm talking to a man I want to fuck
I mean gakuto you shouldn't do needlessly things and believe
in your body you're right i'll use my physical charm and not let this magazine
lead me astray and sell my physical charm for money to older Japanese
men with that gakuto starts squeezing the walnut in his hands just love squeezing
nuts huh yeah captain isn't here you're slow to point that out
just let me squeeze his nut Hey he's wandering he's wandering about again
he's been missing for six weeks and we found his fingers in the dumpster
dumpster that sounds like him miyako gakuto and I walked by Kama
River the warm spring air feels good you can tell by the Sun having its own
distinct animation it's so warm I want to take a nap by the river with me by
myself leave me alone you ugly c* I was close no
you weren't stop being persistent haha you're dumped
sure don't fall for me just because yamato is impossible to get no eat a
banana you gorilla treat me like a human being shockingly racist treat me like a
human being he says cracking the walnut with his bare hand
you should thank me for even treating you as a primate hey Yamato you should
know since you're smart what's a primate wow how did you manage
to get into this school gakuto bribery Wow oh yeah it was he
must have bought his way because they have land you know that I studied my ass off
fucking land owners always oppressing the peasantry yeah was very topical in
seventeen fifty I was going to say like I said if you're a fan of sengoku
era politics and history apparently this dating sim is for you
yeah Gakuto's family has land in this area and is providing part of it for the
school dorm that's why his hous is next to the dorm actually on that topic
hi I'm a nerd um anyway anyway um nerd joins us I was going to say Gakuto's
name the Shimazu they're from what little I know mainly because I played
total war Shogun 2 anyway the Shimazu family actually was like a distinctive
samurai family so you will see there is a character that straight-up just is
named after a Japanese samurai at one point and is also a woman but that might
be the sequel I don't know anyway joining us is a guy who's walking
while reading weekly shonen JOMP which just came out today just to establish
that he's a nerd yes shonen jomp like when they have
fucking like burger Queen and stuff on cartoons Joooomp weekly shonen jomp
good-morning maruka Tokuyo from class 2f that's who you are I don't know whose
benefit I'm saying this for just just go with it
whose hobbies are inter- what the fuck! okay you're terribly you're terribly
descriptive it's because you're so unnoticeable that I might forget about
you and what I confirm your existence cause i'm a bitch don't say terrible things first
thing in the morning wait till the afternoon or after school she's in a bad
mood because she got dumped then you could tie me up and say terrible things
oh I see and whip me wait I don't want you telling me that that I'm unnoticeable
nice comeback by the way that's just that's just one of her standard poses
Moro's always living with all his might huh is Captain gone again
he's gone don't worry about him he's dead forget
about it he's fucking dead stop bringing him up come to terms with
it Moro you're grinning too much it's creepy I'm kind of like liking this
purple haired girl not because I actually like the purple haired girl but
because I have like an issue in dating sims like this where like the
first girl to flirt with me is always the one that I go with mmm-hmm I have to
consciously go for a different girl if I'm doing a different route cuz like I don't
know I guess my like like my penis is like a freshly hatched duckling or
something oh my god imprints on the first female it sees that's horrifying
this week's this week's to love run was nice and erotic oh really
how many panty shots were there I have to do this conversation by myself Just
my penis coming out of a little egg shut the fuck up just going "Are you my mommy?'
shut up ah okay Freud look at this look at this
shower scene I'm sure they're going to drawing her nipples in the comic book
just let me see where the panties I don't sympathize with any of these characters anymore okay just
let me see where the panties are and look you can see a glimpse of amoeba by
the captured heroine feet this is a sign that she's going to be attacked
next week. OH MORNING NAOCCHI, SHINACCHI!
Jesus Christ I are you doing all the females
except for Momoyo probably I don't want that to happen
greeted by the group of girls walking in front of us I got tired of not doing
that voice so uh damn it morning I'm called Naocchi because my name is Naoe
Yamato character because I don't know when that other characters going to reappear
mmm ellipses dot dot dot hey greet her Miyako dot dot dot dot dot hmm
nobs back nods back she calls you Naocchi you're so popular
huh I have nothing to live for except manga it's so annoying I wish they
wouldn't add chi to the end of people's names actually why didn't they greet me
because you two are huddling reading manga and saying perverted things
stop that you're making me uncomfortable you must be because I'm with moro the
otaku what are you saying I'm better than you you're going to go against me
with that feeble body of yours you have a feeble brain I'll beat you down break
you open and then just hold you and take you like a man are you okay sorry I got a
thing going on in my head just give me a second you okay you two are getting along like
always I feel BL energy from you know that mean boys love oh yeah oh no no no
Also called yaoi hmm that's just because you like that
sort of thing I won't lose against gakuto like a man I won't lose to moro
as a man the four of us talk like this together as we walked
by the river also moro has his own subroute haha then I see a crowd up
ahead why is there a crowd there i mean to each their own apparently this yamato guy is bi as fuck I
think it's more like a friendship thing but we'll find out because we're apparently
doing every single route yes it's a friendship thing they just mouth-hug like
real friends. What, you didn't do that growing up? I look in the direction
everyone's looking there oh man a group of thugs 12 to 13 of them
because I can only ballpark for some reason. A group
of thugs exactly 14 of them! I have Asperger's or am a vampire.
what okay wait what? literally step back a second what was the inability to count
a vampire no the ability to instantly be able to count oh oh okay is
surrounding a girl and the girl and the guys are holding weapons and
bats the students with kawakami Academy are just watching not even trying to
help because they're kind of vicious assholes like that rather they are just
watching the show in anticipation like I said vicious assholes what a big pinch
in the morning this won't be pretty unless its stopped fast so am I going you're
her younger brother after all I'm just treated as a I said for the
benefit of the audience I'm just treated as younger brother but
oh well I just say for the benefit of the audience knowing that when I
inevitably bang this chick it'll be non-incest yeah I just want you to know what this
wouldn't be incest if I slept with her hold on hold on I jump into the
scene I'll buy some time I've gotta twenty yeah from the local watch man so
run while you can I speak out desperately twenty gets you ten minutes
huh you talking to us to the thugs yeah run away
oh hey thug a actually you should choose better his name is Thugnalious Alexander shut
up but we call him Thug A. that's the most Japanese name ever actually you
should choose better who you pick fights against do you know this woman is? we know
Thugnalious Alexander we know she's Kawakami Momoya we're
hearing her stories even in Chiba you came all the way here from another
Prefecture rumors about her are spreading fast
Ah, a tie in from earlier so he came to see her Thugnalious Eric and Thugnalious Brian
rumors are usually exaggerated like how she single-handedly crushed Nanahana's
Group Kubi no Inu or how she slammed dunked an annoying brat
his name is legitimately thug g dude it all sounds like bullshit
hahaha don't think we won't beat up girls we're authentic group who's going back to
our identity so we beat up anyone why are they doing we're like doing the
whole retro thug thing that's why we have like a tommy gun and stuff our group
name is beat up anyone we're kind of unoriginal yeah you're going to lose in
front of all these students on this road KU KU KU!
Tetris huh it's been a while why is this the voice I chose for her God huh what
the hell are you talking about I'm gonna be dead from chewing tobacco in a few
years anyway I'm talking about your cell phone strap it's the smokeless killer
that's a Tetris block right so what that has nothing to do with us we're not the
tetris gang they're over in prefecture C why are you so composed you're
getting on my nerves I want to play it can you guys help me out the hell I'll
use you guys as blocks like this yep the guy's arm is bending in a way it really
shouldn't like crap man Wow oh my arm bitch you hurt fudabashi-kun
everybody get her too slow are you guys all babies the guys are all beat up in an
instant the crowd cheers as if they've been waiting all morning for this
that jaeger bombs starting to kick in oh oh oh God yay most of the spectators are students
from the school we're doing this recording at 9:00 a.m. on a Wednesday I couldn't get through that
without a jagerbomb oh momo-senpai's super-awesome today like always I love
her invincibility the girls are screaming excitement as expected to
momo-sempai she's so dominant nobody in Japan can match her the guys are
screaming japan is all subs as usual I couldn't even follow her movements she
kicked each one of them one yeah they were some amazing kicks her shoes were
just so nice she's got really hot kicks I think they're nikes I'm lying she
actually punched damn you Miyako so even gakuto couldn't see it eh? how are you
able to see her miyako archers always have good eyesight by the
way the guy with the round face who has a nasty a smile got punched three times in
the stomach in addition to the punch to his face it was eight you need more
training miyako she hears us I told you all looks pretty painful talking about all
those attacks to their faces what what even kesirazu kun and sudanuma kun got beat
we were just annihilated tsudanuma kun stay with me well
tsudanuma kun no stop making others oh stop making out with it there's a whole
other story line between just I don't want to say I want to know these guys
stories they obviously they obviously have lives of their own well
let's start the human tetris you'll be huh I won't show any mercy to
dirty guys who I'm so inconsistent with her voice goddamn it I just need to pick
a fucking sound and go with it Should I just make her sound like an actual woman
you can try I'll try I'll try I won't show any mercy to dirty guys who would
surround a single person here oh oh her finishing board of the losers is always
wonderful I love her mighty aura. mmm that aura. ora ora ora!
Jojo okay she's dislocating a loser's joints again
That anime sucks. You shut the fuck up! I will fight you on recording as far as
you know we just had an intense battle um everything's everyone's so used to it
now seeing that they're watching in delight, those two nerds slap boxing behind the
recording booth I have strength but he has flexibility shut the fuck up Garrus I
can't believe I knew exactly what you were referring to also I love Gerrus
anyway hmm he's not I want that body pillow of him there's a Gareth body pillow!? yes
there is ah I shouldn't be surprised but I am hmm
he's unconscious so I'll use him as an iblock Oh what the hell this is fucking
crazy oh you're still conscious so I'd like
you to be a complex shape oh please spare me you want to be spared
I'll give you a chance I'll forgive you if you can make me smile with a joke
a joke a guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm don't shut
your mouth don't shut your mouth or tell me that it's impossible you'll end up
making me even more mad he sayds a beer for me and one for the road I'm gonna let that one
sink in scary as hell you're totally evil she's a complete sadist because
her enemies were unfair come on tell me a joke you shouldn't think
down on her for torturing these people because they did surround and try to
beat her I just want to establish that she's still sympathetic despite
being like Goku levels of strong could I tell you an American joke I like your
spirit a Rock Falls stone fuck you Japan
I'll start with your left arm relax the crowd goes wild are you not entertained
she did it so mercilessly that's momo-san's fights for you she does what no
ordinary person can do I admire her thus the men are stacked they're stacked
up nicely nee-san nee-san this is just scary it's a tower made of
people oh you'll have oh you have to erase the line once the rows filled
she just now its time to kill everyone she just takes out a katana and just like
slices people no you said she just kicks them Nissan roundhouse kicks the
stacked up men and blows them away you took too long to come Yamato I mean
there was already a fucking robot in this so it's not like I can be impressed by a
superhero anymore oh boy you think that's the worst is Oh
No you're like my younger brother like my younger brother like my younger
brother like my younger brother so if we sleep together it's okay so be quick
okay younger brother how long is the contract again we played together
obviously I just mentioned that I'll never evoke it you'll be my younger
brother forever seriously I actually like I didn't read
ahead I was just gonna say you'll be my younger brother forever as a joke and
then I realized she actually says it she comes near me and Pat's my head as
always her low-cut shirt is too provocative look how low that shirt is
oh what a whore look we'll be late unless we get going hmm
hold on I see an unfamiliar face in the crowd Momo senpai I mean my n n n n
Neesan ah I call her what she wants so that she doesn't beat me mercilessly
we're in an abusive relationship you're actually not totally wrong charges into
the crowd that's terrifying look momosenpai's coming over
here she's probably coming for me please move aside
huh you must be a first-year at our school um yes. I'm kawakami momoyo in the
third year nice to meet you yes you're popular I know you you're the successor
of the kawakami family lives in the popular martial arts temple the kawakami
temple exposition has to be given yeah you know a lot for a new student you're
cute kawakami temple which was established
in 1937 after the fall of the dojo surrounding the area because of the
Yakuza play yakuza zero eh? that a real game? yakuza zero yeah it is does it have
anything to do with this hell no I'm sure you could attach it I'm sure you could
little bit of canon welding it would make no goddamn sense because that takes place in the
70s they'd actually no actually now that I think about it that's not that
far off the time frame damnit you could say they're their grandparents or something oh
Tesshin okay so the old man in the intro he's her grandfather though
anyway he's also the principal because everyone is related. what is Japan? okay
here I'll carry you they have an app there that says like it's an app specifically designed
so you don't accidentally fuck your cousin I was going to say is that a
thing yep god you're cute even when you're
embarrassed she's going after girls again I want to be carried by mpmo-senpai
too so jealous I want to be carried too do you want to talk about love
sometime in a bathroom in a public bathroom I'd be happy to as soon as the
girls lowered onto the ground she flushes and runs off like an anime
character mm-hmm Nissan comes along looking contented did you see that guys
she completely has the hots for me I'm a lesbian but you can turn
me in my route cuz that's a thing that can happen in this world come on
Momo senpai you're taking too many cute girls for yourself you should give
some to me because they're commodities to be traded like Pokemon cards no way
everyone knows girls are just objects no way if you want a girl go get one
yourself oh but I'll take her away is she's cute we're go get yourself
an ugly girl that I'm not interested in you're so forceful it's a real waste for a
beautiful woman to like women wow japan just wow hey now it doesn't mean I like
girls by Nature Gakuto you see I'm not technically a
lesbian I just do it because the writers forced me to oh of course
yep yeah everyone knows that girls aren't. that lesbians don't actually exist Japan
doesn't think they do it's just a phase that they go through but the jesus fuck christ
but the guys around here around me aren't attractive of course i mettle with
girls I just want a really a feminine guy I just want like a cute little boy
pussy your bar is set too high even though I look like a girl kind of yeah just
have sex with me nobody tries to make an appeal to you because they think it's
impossible well it's the fact that you constantly flip your values all the time
suddenly want a woman when they're a guy I'm different from
all those weak links go out with a tough guy like me I'll show you how great men
are confessing your love all of a sudden are you crazy gakuto you confess
your love without warning too you know I want your D no your heart wasn't in that
that aside you're too shabby for me he's turned down right away as you can hear
his heart being cleaved in twain I'm fine do you know they say people have a
certain period in their lives when they're popular with girls even girls
because I said people which is gender neutral yeah I think that's an urban
legend too little too late Japan I haven't experienced it after all okay
you're partially right and partially wrong here yeah it's probably an urban
legend but your base of it really just being I haven't experienced it is the
kind of thing that bullshit politicians pull. Yeah, that's probably an urban legend. Anecdotal
experience you know mm-hmm. cool single datapoint not valid in
actual studies well I'll commend you for never getting discouraged my heart
wasn't in it huh hey Yamato you should know since you're smart I feel
like that's gonna be a running piece of dialogue for him hey Yamato you know since
you're smart you're smart 'n' all how do I put my heart into this I don't
know either but I'm sure asking someone else about it is out of the question
besides when in doubt just whip it out! It... okay okay. Just do it
That's the wrong organ hmm is that fool not here captain's like always dead in a ditch on
fire yep well then look at the time let's go to
school Let's goooo! we leave the beat up guys and start
walking the crowd must know that it's getting late as
they've started to leave as well there are five people in our group now at the
addition of the only upperclassmen in our group Nissan to recap for you there
are now five of them well I mean it's a visual novel it's probably just trying
to say like I mean no I agree it's ridiculous how much recap there is but I
at least see why yeah cause you can't fucking you don't want to crowd the screen with
like five separate sprites except that they could totally do that easily if they just shrank the sprites
a little bit we're halfway... I wish I had more vodka. We're
halfway through April you guys familiar with your new classes now we went on a
vacation to Hakone with the new class with the new classmates during spring
break after all exposition that orientation is a good event in case you
forgot the athlete types can get along after one night together
you found gaming buddy you found gaming buddies too right? something about
carrying Crud. something about crying to some game scenario and what not yeah I'm
glad that I found new gaming buddies so that we can cry and masturbate all over with oh
man I'm glad to know that you guys are doing well we should probably stop
talking about masturbation every other line. no. this is probably becoming a serious
problem what about your new classroom what about your new class Momo senpai
there's a there are a lot of cute girls so things look delightful
I'm a hardcore lesbian please introduce me to them I'm what the Americans would
refer to as a bull dyke shut the fuck up please introduce me to them I beg you from the
bottom of my heart I would say its ok it's like I want to make it clear it's
okay I love lesbians but that doesn't make it any better
it's actually a lot worse it's okay I have plenty of friends who fall into
this group as I as I slap a label on them yep they're all mine
I refuse from the bottom of my heart because I do believe that women are just
trading cards yeah it's alright I don't judge people for their deficiency of
being lesbian I'm perfectly accepting and I'm willing to be friends with them
anyway I want it to be on the record that he's making a joke he's being sarcastic
yeah please and even if he wasn't he's also really drunk
not... yeah yeah I am I have to quickly do something about her i also want to iterate it
is like 9:30 in the morning it's 11:00 but it's not much better you can't tell me
what to do are you alone as always you're not my real dad I never claimed to be are you
all are you alone as always miyako? solitude is the best miyako gives
a thumbs up yeah you're a lonely wolf woof whoa
she's continuing to be a hopeless girl I don't care about anything else
as long as I have everyone here plus two more five bucks says you can guess who
the two more are that's your ideology huh you know a difficult word you're
really smart haha that was sarcasm we reach the
bridge Tama bridge on the other side of the bridge is Kawakami Academy this
bridge is also known as the bridge of weirdos okay oop white girl
okay I know you meant something different by that but um oh white girl!
let's get her butterfly hey a monk he's just bald
ah hey hey don't go wandeling in the road in the load please do not do a
racist accent for this man but he looks like a monk he's not though he's your age and I
can't illustrate that I'm moving my mouth without or that my words don't
match up with the way my mouth is moving because we're on audio so I have to go
with the other racist thing hmm a butterflies flying it's cute the load has
calls and its dangerlous don't do dangerlous things I hate my life
don't say dangelous things out of the brue either eithel do you know what that's
supposed to mean though ran ran ru? what what is it Ran Ran ru
yeah um I have no idea most of my time in Japan was spent
inebriated I was going to say you were drunk for most of it right? Oh actually uh
this is worth mentioning oh fuck fuck this is worth mentioning uh it has its own
save menu let's just save just because you know "Fuck it" but also um yeah that's
a good reason to do anything yeah that leads me to eat chili dogs at the gas
station at like 2 a.m. so we're probably gonna be abusing the save system
copiously because that's probably the wrong word to use we're going to be
abusing the save system a lot because every single time there's a decision
we're probably going to save just about in the future if we need to re-record
something we can go back yes the bridge is named this way because weird students go
across here to go to school like that racist monk the sound of a rickshaw
approaches the biggest weirdo is coming don't look at him the rickshaw don't look directly at him.
the rickshaw is owned by he was the cursed by a goddess of love stop
because he had sex in the temple ha the rickshaw that's moving as fast as
a bicycle suddenly stops good morning commoners
I am kuki hiru they named the kuki is the crazy one well notice his
forehead and then remember the girl from the intro whose first name was whose
surname was kuki and also had that thing on her forehead I don't remember
what you're talking about okay it was like okay whatever
everybody's hero I'm basically Captain Hammer but less competent oh shit oh
fuck
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