WAYNE DYER ► I watched my wife give birth to four children in right there in her in the
delivery room with her and she does not you know when you when you have a baby
it takes nine months doesn't it you don't say to yourself oh my god I gotta
have a baby I got to get pregnant I got to delivered I got to go through labor
because that'll just drug it and there are people who do that and it's a
torture for them but I watched her do it one moment at a time in labor not what's
going to happen an hour from now what's going to happen this afternoon am I
going to have to have none of that and she did it all naturally because it was
all and her mind was so strong as she was doing it that I couldn't even
penetrate I couldn't even communicate with her she was so focused on just
being here she would say these are not labor pains these are just signals just
sue and I can take this signal I can do this for one minute I can do this like
it it's the way everything gets done i watch the great tennis players on the
planet Roger Federer Pete Sampras these people that are really masters at this
game that I played for so many years not even close to the kinds of levels and
they're they'll be in a tournament they'll have a seating and they say
here's the first round here's the second round here's the third round there's no
such thing as playing the fourth round before you played the first round and
then when you get to the first round you don't go out there and say well I've got
to beat this person in three sets you say I'm going to think one serve at a
time I'm going to think one point at a time and every great athlete I don't
care who they are they will always say I can't think out there in big ways I can
only think small thinking small is what gets great things done verse 63 achieve
greatness in little things take on difficulties while they are still easy
do great things while they are still small the sage the sage one of my
daughters names the sage does not attempt anything very big and thus
achieves greatness greatness comes from being in the moment
here present in the na the sage confronts difficulties but never
experiences them this is the idea of thinking small and finally I'd like to
see you change from this thought change from seeing yourself as separate to
seeing yourself as connected to everyone and everything in the universe our ego
tells us that we are separate that who we are is this body that we have and
everybody out there is separate from me nothing has been more profound and more
powerful and important for me than this verse of the daodejing
this idea that we are all one that all of us emanated from the same source and
by doing so by emanating from the same source we need to see ourselves as
connected to every single being every single person every single flower every
single tree every single animal if you can see yourself in every one we're all
connected it makes about as much sense to me to have a smoking section in a
restaurant as it does to have a peeing section in a swimming pool right
oh no no no kids no no no no no no no don't be over here weepy over here does
that make any sense the Native Americans one of my favorite
quotes I've used it many many times the Native Americans would say no tree has
branches so foolish as to fight among themselves no tree has branches so
foolish as to fight among themselves we are all branches on a tree called
humanity when you read the doll when you read this idea about changing these
thoughts and changing your life you're going to see endless
verses that speak to the absurdity of the idea of you having an enemy the idea
that you and anyone else on this planet is an enemy in the DAO it says I and
enemy cannot exist in the same sentence and he said even those who go to war the
ones who will triumph in war are those who go to war without an enemy and they
will treat every victory in war not as something to celebrate but as a funeral
as an indication that we haven't reached the highest place within ourselves to
see that even those people that we judge to be our enemy are really connected to
us and it says in the doubt that a bad man a bad man
is a good man's job and a good man is a bad man's teacher a good man is a bad
man's teacher so finding that and seeing that listen
to verse 10 carrying body and soul and embracing the
one can you avoid separation one who leads this power brings the DAO to this
very earth this is the primal virtue this was so helpful to me as I thought
about it remember I spent four and a half days on
each one of these verses and in those each one of those four and a half days I
wasn't writing I wrote the last four or five hours of those four and a half days
for four and a half days I took that verse and I went out into the world and
I looked at every one that I encountered every one that I saw and I tried to see
myself in them the person that was you know dressed differently than I would
dress the person who was not as attractive the person who was very old
the person who was very young the person who used language particularly that was
possibly offensive when I would look out there and I would practice not judging
because the only difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment isn't it
it's just a judgment it's just a judgment and if we want to end violence
in our lives in our suspects we have to learn to change our thoughts remember
that the dandelions when I was growing up in Michigan that we have these these
dandelions the dandelions would have at a certain time of the year they would
get all these little fuzz balls at the top of them the yellow little flower
part I always like the dandelions I thought they were really beautiful and
then they have these little fuzz balls now imagine if you want to end what the
the problem of dandelions on your lawn and you see them all out there with all
their little fuzz balls so you go out there and you take a shovel and you turn
it upside down and you start smacking all of the dandelions like this and what
do you do you use violence to attempt to end the
presence of these dandelions which are problem for you on your lawn is they all
scatter and then in the spring guess what you got you got more you got new
generations new generations of vandalizing the such a lesson in that
isn't it there's a great lesson that when we use violence as a means to
resolve our disputes whether it's individually with each other or whether
it's in countries or whether it's in communities whenever it is that we
resort to that kind of not seeing myself in others and out of this kind of a
consciousness will emerge those people who will ultimately begin to get this
because if we don't get it if we don't get it like if we don't really get it
civilization as we know it will not survive it will not survive we have to
learn that the people that we call enemies no matter how horrendous they
may behave toward us there is still something of us in all of them and we
can figure out a way yes we have course have to defend ourselves and yes we
don't allow people to push this or all of those kinds of things but at a deeper
and a higher level Lao Tzu was asking us to go within and find that place of
cleep a piece and try to reach out to that and help someone to make a u-turn
those people can be reached because they have the anchor of the universe located
within there in verse 25 of the DAO it says thus to no humanity understand
earth to no earth understand heaven which is where earth came from to know
the way understand the great within yourself within yourself look within and
see it now every single person watching this program will have conflicts with
somebody in their life on a fairly regular basis especially if your
in a marriage or in a partnership of some kind certainly if you have children
you're going to have you're going to have conflicts now think about what you
do when you have a conflict and that conflict comes to a and end the conflict
is over you've expressed your opinion David you may have yelled at each other
you may have screamed at each other you may not have understood each other but
it's over now how do you end the conflict Lao Tzu says the person of
doubt the person of doubt will eliminate all of the pain all of the stress all of
the anger all of the hatred if they decide to end a conflict with love just
be the one who ends the silence by saying we don't agree but I love you and
it's all you have moved a person from staying in the world of the ten thousand
things into the world of God into the world of source because a source has no
violence in it it creates endless numbers of flowers and beings and
creations without using any force at all there's no force there here's one of my
teachers who lived in Bombay which is now Mumbai in India his name was Miss
Arg ADATA maharaja he said wisdom is knowing I am nothing love is knowing I
am everything and in between the two my life moves in between the two the
ability to take a conflict and to end it with love is one of the most powerful
things that you can do it has been a great lesson for me when we have a
conflict what we do is I will be the person that will pick up that phone you
can be certain of it I will I will end that conflict with love and guess what
that does to the conflict it's over it's over
you can't pick a fight with someone who just doesn't want to fight anymore
who just sends you love so I want to summarize some of these thoughts and
there are so many change your thoughts based upon the wisdom of the DAO and
your life will change there's many principles to live by in
the DAO first remind yourself that there is no way to happiness happiness is the
way bring happiness to all that you do you accomplish much by trying less it's
this it's so inconsistent isn't it what what we lived in the Western world but
the less you try when I go out and swim in the ocean and I do it almost every
day I try to do between 30 minutes and an hour every day being out there in
that ocean and I just get out there and if I try left my arms just seem to know
what to do and the breathing just all works and it's all and I can swim all
day as soon as I try as soon as I struck my suit like so I cry the minute that I
move myself into trying it's like if I were to take this little cap here and
drop it right there and say I'm going to try to pick this up I'm going to try to
pick this up this is what Lao Tzu was speaking about so all of this all of
this all of this all of this all of this is I'm trying I'm really trying I'm
really trying all of this is called in reality not picking it up
that's what that's called not picking it up but when I just get easy and do less
see yourself the dow says in everyone you encounter a great lesson every
single being especially the ones that we read about who were told our enemies see
yourself in them know that whoever they are wherever they live they want what we
want they want what I want they want to be at peace they don't want to be always
struggling they don't want to be sick they just want to be loved whoever they
are I know the skepticism of that it's like yes but all of the yes but but if
they got it to see Lao Tzu wasn't speaking to well some are going to get
this and some probably won't he was speaking to all of us
trust in others the dow says to know what's best for themselves trust in that
trust in the pliability the flexibility of your babies have those little babies
they're so great when they're like you know two weeks old you can take their
foot put it behind their neck stick it around here like this put it in their
mouth they're so flexible you can do anything
you pick it up you turn them upside down you watch them when they starting to
learn to walk and they run run run crash they go down into the walls when all of
this do you think oh my god this kid I'll never walk again up they go and
they don't just trust in their flexibility live without attachment and
be generous be strong by bending by bending we need to learn this in our
lives we need to learn this in the world it's not so important to be right it's
so much more important when you have a choice to be right or to be kind always
pick kind always pick I practice radical humility live low live low like the
ocean stay low and all the streams will come to it that's why it's so powerful
because it doesn't Lord anything over anyone and rather than looking for
miracles see everything as miraculous everything in your life there was a man
who had a dhow experience what I call a quantum moment his name was John Newton
he lived back in the beginning of the 18th century and he was crossing the
ocean he was a slave trader he had a ship full of human cargo that he was
going to trade into slavery in the most hideous practice that was so common at
that time in our in our history and in the middle of a storm on his way over
there with all of these people he was 22 years old or 23 years old and he thought
he was going to die and he thought the whole it was like he must have hit a
hurricane or something out there that was before satellites could warn people
and while he thought he was in that state of dying he took out a pencil and
a paper and he wrote on the back of an envelope he wrote I once was lost and
now I'm found and it was grace it was grace that
taught my heart to feel it was grace that brought me home and when the storm
was over he had a moment he reconnected to his source anybody out there can
reconnect to the source to the dow and become a being of doubt remember it's a
return trip and you can make that return trip while you're alive remember the
parrot he knows much more than we did and he returned back to Africa and he
released the slaves that is said and for the next 55 years of his life for the
next 55 years of his life he shifted and became the most ardent spokesman as an
abolitionist to abolish that hideous practice of slavery that what he devoted
his life to it a former slave it's like going from Saul to Paul you know from
being a person who crucifies and murders Christians to being the author of a big
portion of the New Testament as st. Paul in a moment in a moment it's possible
for any of us or toes it's beautiful presentation on the Dow
Sicilia or the poem that was written by a woman her name is Naomi long magic
she's from Detroit went to Wayne State University she was named the poet
laureate of Detroit and acclaimed the african-american poet
listen listen to these words it sums up all that I've been saying I wouldn't
coax the plant if I were you such watchful nurturing may do it harm
let the soil rest from so much digging and wait until it's dry before you water
it the leafs inclined to find its own direction give it a chance to seek the
sunlight for itself much growth is stunted by two careful prodding too
eager tenderness the things we love we have to learn to leave alone thank
thank you you
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