got dramatic real quick alright it's such a weird game all right let's play
hey everybody it's Captain Morgan and it Particus Rex and welcome to another
episode of Co-Optimistic. ok jumping right back in Zelda Zelda Ocarina of
Time let's see what's on the top of death mountain death you were really
speeding through these intros today yeah you mean today it was that too fast
recently you guys like me to slow down I'm not going to he probably won't know
no I won't it's okay you're here for the entertainment not for good Particus's
brilliant word magic money money hey you know what you can
buy with that money shield alright after time this little
pout I love whooping your hands I just told
you don't label up your hands wow that was are you fucking kidding me that was
perfect that was perfect there we go ont now we are maxed out on
money yep and the Sun is going down is a cow in here oh that's right why is
there a cow in there so you can get milk I don't know why that's important but
you give the milk to somebody oh good I just wasted all those rubies you really
did what up how just cow and then there's water hey cow what's going on
you get milk from a cow we're gonna get from a brown cow milk cuz fur color it
has no distinction when it comes you know this seems really dangerous
yeah is this them happy volcano yeah death mountains an active volcano that
seems really horrible to put your like entire society right next to an active
volcano well no it's not it's not because of that
it's the volcano it is a volcano but gowron's thrive in volcanoes no right
well I got them I'm talking about Hyrule Oh like if this place goes nuclear
Hyrule is gone I don't think volcanoes go nuclear
I think they just go explosive boom I mean it was a it was a I know it's a
phrase but yeah look have you heard of Pompeii okay it was happening for a
reason I remember Pompeii cuz I was there you
know I will do you think I am posted in the comments if I remember he wasn't he
was there at Pompeii post in the comments how old you think he is bonus
points if you get it right maybe we'll send you a shirt or something sure it's
descent oh no fuck this guy no the owl avoid him at all cost
he's I did it there we go fuck that out he's gonna tell you the same story again
isn't he oh wait no this is wrong this is where the fire temple is yep my dude
it's how I forgot we did that my dude it's so hot in here
alright fine wait no you just gotta go to the thing you've done well to come
all the way up here my dude this is the summit of the sacred Death Mountain hoot
is sound cloud surrounding this being fact like addition s look good normal
and they like normal climbing all the way up here just a smart you are now I
don't want to see you make another smart move the great fairy lives on this
mountaintop she will give you ill she is the leader of the fairy oh my
god shut up here and wait for you when you're ready to go back good she could
talk to me like now okay okay cool so great fairies in here great fairy great
fairy it's robbery Carrie great this is kind of a crappy flavor strawberry fairy
and I'm your dude okay oh yeah this lady she's nice she's also kind of crazy dog
nice ha Karina hey ocarina height it's okay this is hold on I have to remember
where the buttons are no I don't tell me don't tell me it damn it
this thing is so sticky it's not sticky it just fucking I'll get back to the
game be okay God the c-stick is so sensitive there we go
it's not a sea stick it's a joystick but it's the Sun is like now damn it hey
ocarina hi Todd put some clothes on man she's just strange I know right the
fairies in this game are really weird like they make me uncomfortable on so
many a lot of levels oh yeah welcome my dude I'm the great fairy
right only but only you can see me just wow good yeah I'll come in here often
with anybody else so forever cool you gave me hearts
oh I could charge it now yeah is that where you do the now I have magic yeah
oh come on yes shut up I get it I know how to do
that when you charge power for spin attack magic power will be consumed pay
attention till your green magic meter hey boy you're a messenger of the royal
family aren't you next time you're in their neighborhood you should drop in a
friend of my lives I or castle she'll surely grant you an hour no it's didn't
oh well it's not den it's like a profit of dead it's another fairy it's a
dignitary and she gives you dense power which is like greatest fucking thing on
the planet just engulfs the entire room and fire Oh
skills whole reels everything we're pretty close to it Wow wait go talk to
the bird no well thank you down the mountain you go that's what we said
looks like you've grown up a little from the great fairies Bubba blah it's like
the it's like the end of Lord of the Rings he just flies you actually yeah in
first person yeah the great Eagles they're all dead Mountain what do you
think about the great Eagles and you know why they didn't just take them up
there because it made sense to me because you know Eagles are pretty
obvious flying through the sky and it's our on saw it he'd either a destroyed
them with fire like beam him out of the sky with like an i-beam yeah or like
have all that actually is waiting there when they drop in that actually is
pretty pretty logical I mean he's literally a giant eye that just stares
out into the horizon like that's his only job yeah that does make sense and
he's literally got an army of Orcs like just wait and they're like it's like
they get there and you know salmon and the fellowship and and Frodo and then
drop in they're like hey we're here to deliver the ring and then there's an
army and they're like no like what are you gonna do
yeah that's why they needed hobbits to do it hobbits are sneaky in the tiny
little bastards and gone dog and gondol dog doll and
Gandalf was all like hey last time I used hobbits it was pretty cool yeah
that one that one hobbit was pretty dope and then now he's like God why did I
think the whiniest hobbit ever write I post in the comments who's your favorite
Hobbit yeah yeah mine is definitely build oh I will I will build I was
pretty cool I will ride that so that I like um Mary Mary's my favorite tool cuz
he said she's so chilled yeah just like breakfast here's a song
I'm here to eat breakfast and everything else is fucked
yeah and that sounds like me tempis usually I'm here to eat pizza and fuck
your life that's really rude yeah I have not I've not met anyone that you've
ruined their life which concerns god damn it Wow literally if I have a bomb
man sorry sir I literally have a bomb right here can you just yeah shut up oh
my god seconds this is bad stop stop yes I get it
we're maxing with the royal family like you know a song or something that you
could play cool can I throw this now please oh god it just blew up
it's a guy hey you didn't take any damage but you're like really low on
bombs now yeah hey you know we have fun yeah you know what money can be used for
perch hookers buying or selling goods with therefore Parker Parker no uh
purchasing services and/or goods yes no exchanging money for goods or services
that's what it is yes how do you get that hard I never got that one scarecrow
what scarecrow make a scarecrow sound as a scarecrow song yeah what does it do
you get to make it like it's the one song you can compose yourself and then
when you do you play it and the Scarecrow pops up and you can use the
hook shot to a hook shot to them wow that's cool okay some frogs are looking
at me from underwater all right was just a D&D campaign I have
to stop me all the time wait am i going the right way No
like I like the day and night cycle it's nifty but Jesus is it quick
yeah cuz I I like traveling during the day and playing during the day and then
nighttime it's just like ah can't see anything and like like it's full of
pokemons it kind of makes a difference but in this game it's just like oh now
there's just a lot more monsters that are really annoying and you can barely
see anything yeah gotta turn up that brightness it's
a cool it's a cool concept though yes I mean it was one of the first games to do
a day/night cycle right yeah think like the song got it
just fucking it up up her yeah I was gonna say we yeah yeah yeah like the the
the fucker up yeah no no what is that background harmony were you trying to
model meaning you know I thought this dude was supposed to be frozen like that
movie what's it called again don't tell me I'll get it
Ice Ice Baby Ice Ice Baby one bum bum bum long ball now it oh wait
no it's frozen when I'm an adult that's the movie frozen that was it
what up my dude oh my god this guy's a monster oh my dear sweet princess rude
oh where has she gone I'm so worried crap now I gotta find her I know where
she is is that the one you want to have sex with no that's the one that wants to
pork me yeah Linda wants to have sex with you
diving game twenty rupees want to play all right we got money to spare I think
it's because there's something I'm supposed to get at us
swan dive whoa that's in dangerous
I think the prize that I get is the ability to dive longer oh yeah I think
you're right
cut you make it look so easy there's just
one more
I can't tell you how many times that I am what's up
I've got something very nice for you should get it now where'd this this is
I'm sorry this is gonna take a little bit unfortunately so future Morgan if
you want to skip ahead soon soon you might want to just because I forgot
where Princess Trudeau's hiding out ah isn't she in the belly of that not yet
she's not but I have to get behind him to get to job ooh but he won't move
until she's so I don't know there's I think there's another way what a
graceful dive now please take this this is a scale of our kind with oh Jesus
here take this body part of one of my ancestors it's so creepy it's kind of
cool though in that like oh I know I know where I have to go I was supposed
to do that
there's that because this leads me to the lake without having to jump the
fence right yeah for some reason you can only hold your breath for five seconds
until you go through the tunnel and then I get this which I'm surprised
Ozora has found yet damn it
down we go again one extra second um yeah but it's exactly how much I need to
get this Nobby an empty bottle that's not an empty bottle it's clearly got
something inside it yeah and it's a letter from Princess Trudeau so that our
our chubby fishy friend will scoot over and then I can his lard lard ass over
this fatty large based arse is his whale ass
you have to like those things don't have to I'm not gonna so things like that me
wait wait I have to empty this okay I have to empty a bottle come down here
grab a fish go outside princess cerritos like the fuck are you
doing here leave me alone no I'm gonna like I'm gonna feed gonna feed jabu now
and then he opens his mouth when I drop the fish and sex everybody in and she's
all like you're an asshole now you have to like babysitting me and stuff and
then at the end she's like we're getting married I'm like that sounds about right
yeah spoiler alert all of that was a spoiler uh hey bud look friend I have
brought you a message yes this letter is from princess Trudeau
she's inside the Lord job agenda that's not possible our guardian guard orbit or
an orbit or dolphins wrong room Jabba Jabba Jabba Jabba bama a.m. it's been
green all around the gills I get it it's a pun yeah from now onwards no one
whenever I'm not feeling well I'm gonna say that I'm feeling a little green
around the gills oh my god it's so fat get a gym membership
how do the out of the bottle get past him like and wouldn't it just like bump
right into the relief at ass miss fat lardy cush
this is sound like you're saying a week
that's how long it takes him to scoot the fuck over all right so anyway cool
so I got the scale I can dive like a boss I need to go grab fish now pshh
where is that fishy fish the fish
alright cuz you can't put ya job a job he's not just gonna eat whatever he's
got a he's gotta be enticed so I'll be enticed with fancy food fish well that
was easy yeah links like look at that clearly
round bottle yeah it's got a spike in everything yeah I feel like there were
better ways to model a bottle for a lynx hand than just like a giant shank
down achieved if you will yes quite like this you have a bottle dude do you
remember not liking the inside of jabu jabu no it's piece of shit this is I
thought it also reminds me of the inside of another creepy fish creature oh god
yeah God that was also annoying doesn't even inside him some parts were inside
of him oh sure but oh no way she's already inside him
yeah yes I thought you'd find him there you find her inside and she's like
huddled up that's weird about jabu right here it's literally one of the like not
Elder Gods but kind of you know like the deities of this realm jabu DQ tree yeah
well to see the rest of the inside of Jabba Jabba you have to wait till next
time yeah and we'll show you and you'll see just how frustrated I get with the
stupid fucking temple well if you enjoyed make sure you hit that like
button yeah comment about why you also hate
jabu jabu's belly and subscribe to see the next episode we'll see y'all on the
next episode of koh optimistic deuces
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