Okay...
Ughhhhh
What?
Procrastination, Procrastination. I really need to...vac the floor.
Achem! English out of mouth......
Balls!
Am I actually gonna start this video? Or we just, we're just gonna ramble?
A thing happened, as things tend to do in life.
Okay, my neighbors are home, this is gonna get noisy.
Maybe it's written down in the title, so you already know what happened....
But if I haven't written it in the title, because I'm a numpty and I've decided to do clickbait stuff,
and kind of get you to watch this video. Because at the moment it's very puzzling.
I met Carrie Hope Fletcher!!!!!
There are a few people in this world that I would actually call the role model.
Not an idol, because I don't necessarily believe in idols.
But a role model. a person who comes into your life, and does good, But you don't know them.
I'm not good at wording things, have we known this already? Right!
Carrie to me, has been in my life......
I'm talking like I know her, and in some respects....
The version, I know a version of her, that is very dear to me.
I should probably tell you who she is, in case you don't know.
So Carrie hope Fletcher is a Youtuber here in this, little world that we have.
She is a actress on the stage, she does musicals.
She was in Les Mis, she was in Adams family.
Which I went to see last year.
She writes books, which I have reviewed here on this channel. There's one there, see.....
And she is genuinely, a person who has come into my life, via YouTube, and made it better.
Apparently I'm even getting emotional about it. Which is a little weird I know. So bear with me.
In this mess of YouTube, where we have, as viewers. Because I am an avid viewer and fan.
We, have been not let down, but we have come to see the reality of humanity ......that rhymed
Carrie is one of the good ones.
She was in LesMis, and she did this thing that changed my life slightly.
This is a moment where she made biggest impact in my life.
She did a video called, happy and healthy.
Where, she didn't slam diet culture. But she, in her own way,
talked about the pressure to be skinny, and the pressure to be tiny.
How she was not teeny tiny and yet was playing Eponine. Who was supposed to be a teeny tiny kind of starved woman.
I don't know how to describe what that video did for me, but she talks about how much she weighed.
She talked about what size she was, she talks about everything. She just lay it all out on the table.
She was like 'you know what, I eat pasta. So stuff it!'
She wanted women and girls to genuinely know what a human-sized person was, and that she was....
I'm not making sense, go and watch that video I will link it here, here and here.
That video made a genuine impact on me. I was somebody who wasn't skinny.
I was somebody who had very little confidence, and through her. I look to what she was wearing and then tried to emulate it a little bit.
Because I just thought. I liked the style, I don't think she looks big and she's the same size as me.
So why do I think I'm big?
Skip to, roughly about this time last year, a bit before.
I started to gain my body back, but it wasn't exactly coming back in the shape that I was expecting it to.
I started having major body image issues and I was very very insecure about how I looked.
So once again I turned to Carrie, and I looked at what she was wearing. I looked to how she carried herself.
And I'm just like 'I honestly think you are a gorgeous human. You've talked about the fact you put on a little bit weight,
and you are still roughly the same size as me.'
Because she is very open about what size of clothing she wears, and things like that.
If it suits her, why the heck can't I wear it? Why in the heck do I think I can't wear that and look that good?
I sort of look at what she's wearing, and just go 'Okay so, I'm gonna go buy something like that'
Or in the case of about 3 things. Buy the exact same thing, because you know.
I'm not a copycat at all!
Anyway the point of all this rambling...
She did a book tour that finally came to Bristol and I bought a ticket not knowing if I could go.
If I was well enough? I don't know how I'm gonna get there? But I'm gonna buy my ticket just in case I can. I got there.
I could go on about disability problems, and the problem with chronic health and trying to be a normal person in a normal situation
It wasn't great, it really wasn't great, I just want to focus on the good stuff for once.
Because I met her! Long story short, she did a little talk, we all got to have books signed and have our photos taken with her.
I got my book signed so, When the Curtain Falls it's now signed by Carrie and that was amazing.
I was wearing, rather crazy dungarees at the time, she's like. 'Oh my god, I love your dungarees '
And I go.....Carrie likes what I'm wearing this is amazing! And then the, pista resistance for me is, That she spotted my baby!
I kind of did, I will admit that I was showing him off on purpose. Because I know Stitch is her favorite Disney character,
Just like 'hey, we have this thing in common, connect with me be my friend?'
Not that I'm a stalker at all anyway.......
She saw Stitch and loved him and that was the kind of squeegee moment!
I have my photo taken with her, which you can see here.
Also had a kind of complete meltdown which I will link at the end of this video.
I will link the meltdown that I had after I met her, because all the words tumbled out of my mouth and I went a bit nuts!
Again this is....... basically I don't know where this video is going.
She has made a impact on my life that I am genuinely grateful for.
Even to the point that, meeting her the other day made me look at my body image again because...
I have been having some serious problems that I haven't been talking about.
Because I haven't been ready to kind of.. verbalize it. It's an internal thing that I've had since I was like 11.
Being next to Carrie once again. I realized we are actually the same frickin size!
Although we are a different shape, and although we are different humans.
I'm looking at her, I'm next to her and I'm just thingking.
Our arms are the same size, our faces are the same size. Our body's the same size.
Why, if I love the what she wears, and I admire her, and love her as a human and I think she's beautiful!
Do I not like my own body? Why do I hate my body?
It just brought up all this stuff, and it made me question all of that. and I'm working on all of that.
But she made me realize that I should like myself...... It's a whole big mess inside my brain right now.
But I just, I'm truly grateful that, in this mess that is YouTube. Carrie exists!
So yeah, that was my Ode to Carrie Hope Fletcher basically. I fan girled, I don't do that often.
I hope you guys are good and thank you for listening to me waffle. I swear I'm not as creepy as I sound.
Byeeeeee
Hooolllyyyy Cooowwwww! I just met Carrie Hope Fletcher, so that just happened.
Slightly delirious, um yeah she's she's lovely.
She's adorable, and she's an actual person who is real! and phooofffff, yeah
I met 2 lovely girls in the queue, well before the queue we were sat together. ummmmmm
But the queue to get your stuff signed, uh I met 2 of the girls and.... I don't know their names...
Really should have..... no wait, I do know the names.... maybe I know their names???????
What were their names? Oh flummox....
I can't believe this! I didn't get to learn their names but! By any stupid-ass chance they are watching this.
Because I will probably post it everywhere. So in case they do, Hi! comment down below I want to say hello.
We should have swap numbers or something. You guys were amazing you kind me kept me sain,
Well standing in the queue. We're gonna start a medley.
We were gonna start singing a medley. We were just basically bouncing off the songs in our own heads.
Because we were all singing different songs at once, and trying to work out if they harmonized. So yeah!
We really wanted to start a sing-along in the queue, so should have. But i didn't have the guts.
I just met Carrie hope Fletcher, and she is lovely and she's adorable and I need to go home and sleep this off .
I am not usually this flummoxed around people. hmmmmmmm
Okay that just happened!
I'm going home to bed, okay that did that just happened.
I have to kind of just tell myself that, that just happened!
I really need to go home now, and my arm hurts,
Okay Byeee!
This is terrible lighting. Byeeee
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