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Čekaonica (2017) - Duration: 10:23.
THE WAITING ROOM
Can I smoke in here?
Excuse me?
You mind if I light one up?
So.
How much longer are we going to wait?
What do you think?
Have they given you a number?
A number?
Yes. Yes. A number.
Oh, yeah... They did give me... something.
Twelve.
Oh, so you're after me.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I'll let you go first, if it's an emergency.
No. It's just the waiting that's killing me.
Now that's a fine looking woman!
Look at that!
What?
Beg your pardon?
Look at what?
I'm just murmuring to myself. But now that you've...
Does this look like a swimsuit or some dental floss? Look.
No. I rather wouldn't.
She's a bit of alright, ey?
I really wouldn't know.
What have you got against bimbos?
I think that's rather obvious.
God created bimbos too.
Oh, did he now?
And where did you get that pearl of wisdom from?
"Christianity for the Uninformed"?
"A Modern Bible for the Modern Man"?
There's no harm in it.
"They committed whoredom. And there were their breasts pressed.
And there they bruised the teats of their virginity."
I beg your pardon?
"And the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever.
They have no rest day and night,
those who worship The Beast and his image."
What are you on about?
Hell.
Come on!
You don't really believe in all that ancient nonsense?
Screams and trashings of unfortunates in eternal torment?
Yes.
Hell is not a heavy metal concert.
It's a concept to keep the plebs in order.
And even if it were all true...
There's no harm in looking...
at some dental floss. So to say.
They weren't created for the purposes of your private pleasure.
So what did God create bimbos for?
I suppose for the same reason he created biscuits.
Yes, yes, yes. I remember that bit.
"And He created the whales.
And the winged fowl after His kind.
And Hobnobs."
There's no sin in a Hobnob, per se.
Nor in a Chocolate Finger, or a Ginger Nut.
They are not sinful in themselves.
But they may be the occasion of sin in others.
They're there to catch us off our guard. Lead us to temptation.
Blimey, those Hobnobs are dangerous.
In my opinion, yes.
And what's your opinion on Jaffa Cakes?
I don't understand.
Jaffa Cakes?
Leave me alone, man!
Oh, come now, please.
Imagine biting through the chocolate bit
straight into the nice, slurpy lemon in the middle
How can you resist that?
I can't.
There! There! God intervened and saved me from temptation.
Rubbish! You're just clumsy.
Have another one!
No!
Biscuits have already brought me enough suffering
In a way, they brought me here.
What? You came here for some biscuits.
No.
I was walking home after an evening of amateur religious poetry.
And as I was walking I saw an entire window full of biscuits.
On special offer.
In a moment of weakness, I went to run over the street
and got run over by a car.
The angel of God brushed me lightly with a 1985 Lada.
Funny.
You could say I'm here because of my interest in bimbos.
There's this nice lady that comes to my shop every morning.
She's got.. ummm...
Quite a lot of groceries to carry.
No one to help her, poor woman.
Poor woman!
Yes, yes, poor woman. Unhappily married, you know.
Her husband's an arse. A nationalist.
Skinhead. Football hooligan. Brick shithouse.
And so I offer to help her carry it all up to her flat.
In true Christian spirit.
Absolutely. Of course.
So one day, while I was helping her, he comes along. Drunk as a skunk.
Singing. - Singing?
Welshie go home!
He's a right one!
Good thing he was singing.
How come?
Well, we heard him coming.
Anyway. There I am. What was I to do?
I jumped through the window.
It's only when I saw the dustbin enclosure looming up towards me,
That I remembered I was on the sixth floor.
And here I am.
It's no wonder really.
It's no wonder that the young people of today are as they are
if every time they look up to the sky
they see a half-naked, horny shopkeeper flying towards the dustbins.
The wonder is I'm fine.
Well, of course, you are.
All you modern people always land on your feet.
Instead of in Hell you land on your feet.
Instead of in prison you land on your feet.
Instead of in trouble you land on your feet.
Good day.
Would you mind filling these forms out, please?
Before you are divided.
Divided?
The sheep from the goats.
Is this a hospital or the vet's?
It shouldn't be long.
Hurry up!
There's a holy man in here in need of help!
Put down major sins!
I think he's getting worse!
Put down major sins. It says right here on the form.
JD form?
What kind of hospital is this?
I've been thinking.
You don't look so bad for someone who jumped from the sixth floor.
Like you said. I'm lucky.
No, my son. You're dead!
Dead?
Look at me.
I had a close encounter with a Lada and there's not a scratch on me.
Dead?
I don't feel dead at all.
How do you know?
Where'd you get that idea?
What did she say? JD form?
Junior doctor.
Some spotty youth who hasn't been to bed for three weeks.
Junior doctor...
or Judgment Day?
Well, I just don't believe it.
That's the trouble with you modern men.
You don't believe in anything.
But it's all true!
The horned gentleman with the toasting fork is waiting for you!
Put down major sins.
Should I put down that
once as a very small boy I broke the Easter fast?
Oh, leave it off, mate. Sins? Hell?
It's all fairy tales. And even if they weren't,
why should we go to Hell? We haven't harmed anyone.
Just because I had some fun with one particularly nice lady
and because you had some Jaffa Cakes on Good Friday fifty years ago.
We hardly deserve eternal torment and a pitchfork up the arse.
We do, of course, we do.
We are all mortal sinners.
He who doesn't pray on Sunday is a sinner.
He who breaks fast is a sinner.
He who plays loud music at night is a sinner.
He who fornicates with another man's wife is a sinner.
We're all sinners and should burn
for all eternity. Amen!
Have you filled in your forms?
You shall now be divided.
The Bible shouldn't be taken literally.
Reverend Luka Stankovic.
Goat.
Wait. - Please, get ready!
You can't send him to Hell. This must be a mistake.
Pay no attention to him, he knows not what he is saying.
He's had no theological training whatsoever.
You can't be sending him to Hell over a Jaffa Cake.
That's right! God is great!
I knew there was a true judgement.
We all deserve to burn.
Praise...
How's this fair?
He was a little repressed. Quite full of himself.
But he was harmless.
Rade Pistoljevic.
Sheep.
What?
Heaven?
It's our policy to give the customers
the sort of treatment they believe they deserve.
Heaven?
Of course.
You never really believed in the other place, did you?
Me in Heaven?
Oh, please don't. I'll be bored.
I don't know anyone there. - Come now.
I don't accept it.
It's not for me. There'll be nothing to do in the evenings!
Wait! Just a second!
Now!
YOUR CAST
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