I don't know about your New Year's Resolutions
you haven't told me
but, without being a judgemental jerk
they're probably monkey dung
ok, that was slightly jerk-esque
but I've made many years worth of monkey dung New Year's Resolutions
and this year I was determined to see how I could make them better
so, what's monkey dung and what's better?
something that's an end to your improvement
like 'win the juggling award' is monkey dung
something that improves you constantly
like 'practice juggling every day'
is not dung
something that relies on other people
like 'get a million worshippers'
is monkey dung
something that relies on just you
like 'practice and refine your doom lord speech
until it is the best doom lord speech that it has ever been'
is not dung
something that's vague
like 'become a great flutist'
is monkey dung
something that's clear
like 'practice the Frozen theme on flute
until your neighbours cry and beg for mercy
on your doorstep every day'
is not dung
something that's cinch and fluffy
like 'live for every day'
is absolute monkey dung
just avoid that bullcaca
seriously, it kills unicorns
do not do it
and lastly, but potentially most importantly
making resolutions that you have no actual obligation to keep
is monkey dung
having someone or multiple someones
hold you accountable
is the not dung thing to do
so I did mention before
that I've had many monkey dung New Year's Resolutions
in the past
this year I've done a complete overhaul
and really focused on trying to make them as not dung as possible
and this is a bit scary
but, here they are
one
become ninja
quite seriously
I'm going to sign up to a dojo
attend twice a week
I'm going to do it
two
is learn the Final Fantasy 10 music
on piano, as much as I can of it
and then, the kicker
actually perform it
so I'm usually pretty ok with playing piano
but I get the shakes when performing
and I usually avoid it
so I'm gonna face that fear head on
number three
writing at least a hundred and fifty songs or pieces of music
so I'm going to keep track of this
by putting a big cross on my So Purrfect calendar
for every day that I write a song or piece of music
then counting it up at the end of the year
making sure there's at least one hundred and fifty crosses
number four
making at least twenty YouTube collabs
ok, so I know this one somewhat
relies on other people
but I genuinely do believe
that if I organise it and push it
that I have the power within myself
to make this one happen
and I really wanna do more collabs
number five, this one's quite left of centre
I want to make a lookbook for each season
fashion-wise, the two main ones
of the year and do geek pop style stuff
and I'm not much of a model or fashionista
but I've had this idea for a while now
of kinda featuring the local, Australian,
geeky, craftsy shops
and what they do, so
I'm gonna give that one a crack
number six
is to learn new and interesting chords on guitar
and use them in songs
I'm gonna keep track of this one in a
very similar fashion to the songwriting one
a big cross every day
that I do focused chord practice on the guitar
on my other cat calendar
so that one has to be slathered in crosses by the end of the year
and number seven, this is my last resolution
is to make a live performance set on Maschine
so the Maschine is a relatively new instrument
to my artillery
but I really want to be able to take this
button-box-noise thing
out on the road with me and perform with it
and I'm committing to doing at least three songs
that I can take out and perform live
so, they're my resolutions
why am I telling you my resolutions?
because you are going to be the one keeping me accountable
I'm committing right here and now
to make a video at the end of the year
detailing exactly how I went with all these resolutions
so, I better keep them, cause otherwise
I'm going to look really stupid
at the end of the year
what are your resolutions?
are they not-dung?
comment below and let me know
also, here's my "you can do this" song
that you can feel free to be inspired by
because it's, err, supposedly
uh, accompanied by very inspiring pictures
or not
the internet has very odd ideas
on what "inspiring" is
scrunch those 'To Do' lists up
shoot'em like an Overwatch Reaper end'em
didn't believe'em when I wrote them
might as well be Klingon cause I still don't understand'em
it's ok I always need paper to set on fire
and
the road to Oz has made itself clear this time
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time my mind is set up right
this time I know I'm gonna make it
This time, this time
this time everything is lined up
this time I see the bigger view of life
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time, this time
I'm gonna shut off the gaming console
kill the procrastinations
switch my gears into turbo
make those dreams more than visualisations
planets spin around in circles and that's fine
but I'm breaking off from the endless loop this time
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time my mind is set up right
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time, this time
this time everything is lined up
this time I see the bigger view of life
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time, this time
gonna hold my ground like a tank now
push through like a black belt
Chuck Norris watch this space
I'm here now and I'm here to stay
your thousand years is my single day
it's a prophecy passed through the ages
a lightning bolt tattooed on my heart
you know I'm gonna win when I hit start
I'll keep on pushing 'til I fall apart
I'll push on
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time my mind is set up right
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time, this time
this time everything is lined up
this time I see the bigger view of life
this time I know I'm gonna make it
this time, this time
(hi, Meri)
(yep)
(I see you've got... A new talent)
(that's good, with the horrible music)
(thank you, that's, yup no)
(my ear is bleeding right now, thank you)
(that's, I didn't need the hearing anyway)
(thank you, yes, it's all gone now)
(thank you)
(but, yep)
(that's, that's very touching Meri)
(thank you, now please leave)
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