- Hey, I am here with the amazing Coach Jennie.
I can't wait for you to meet her
and this person she calls Hilda
and how she sabotages you and messes with you
and keeps you from reaching your goals.
You're gonna learn all about Jennie and Hilda
and how to stop this chick from messing with you
so you can reach your goals, whether they be health,
fitness, business, whatever it might be,
I think this applies to all areas of life
so I'm super excited, thank you Jennie for being here.
- Thank you for inviting me.
- This is going to be so fun.
Alright so take a moment, if you would,
and introduce us to yourself first.
- Sure, absolutely.
I am Jennie Mustafa-Julock
but everybody just calls me Coach Jennie
and I'm a life and biz coach
out of Los Angeles, California.
And I'm the author of the book on "Hilda"
that we're going to be talking about today.
I help people who are entrepreneurs,
they're doing everything right-ish
but for some reason they're just not reaching
the brass ring because they can't seem to get
out of their own way.
So what I do is I give them all the tools and techniques
and cathartic shoves I can think of to help them
get out of their own way.
- Excellent, so now tell us a little bit about
how you do that and this voice in our head
who you call Hilda.
- Yeah. - Fill us in on her
and how she came about
and how she messes with us.
- Absolutely, so Hilda is the name that I gave
to the inner critic.
I'm not the first one to talk about the inner critic
but I'm certainly the first one to humanize this broad.
Um, usually the inner critic is called gremlin
or lizard brain or some furry monster, I don't know
why it became cutesy, but to me it's a voice in my head
that has been collecting messages and nasty sayings
and guilt for my entire life and because this voice
in my head was saying all of these negative things,
it's coming from a human.
So I gave it a human name to humanize it
and to distance it from me.
So Hilda is who I attribute all of that nasty noise to
instead of me, it's not my inner voice, it's Hilda.
And apologies to anybody named Hilda,
you can call yours Jenny then we're even.
But you get to name your Hilda whatever you want.
And about half of the people I work with
stick with Hilda and the other half give other names.
So who Hilda is, is this silly cartoon character
who lives in your brain who says stuff like,
you suck, you can't, you don't have it in you,
like you're not worthy of this, who do you think you are,
you shouldn't do that, you're gonna embarrass yourself,
or she convinces you that you don't know enough yet,
that you aren't enough yet, you're not smart enough,
you're not qualified enough, you don't have the right
credentials, or she she convinces you that you don't
really want this and she distracts you with shiny objects
and gets you to procrastinate or makes you think
it's not perfect yet.
All of those different things that we all think.
I have found that a lot of us think
we're the only ones that think that.
(laughter)
I'm the only one with all this noise in my head.
- Yeah.
- There's something wrong with me.
And I'm here to tell you there's nothing wrong with you.
That's just Hilda.
- Love it, love it, love it.
Learning about Hilda and using your language
is just, it's life changing.
It's yeah, it's like that's not me, that's not coming
from me, that's her.
And you can separate the negative thoughts from you.
- Yeah.
- It's a whole new way of thinking about it, I love it.
- Yeah, it's 50 percent, I say 50 percent
of the transformation of learning about Hilda
and getting out of your own way
is simply raising your awareness that this is not true.
Because Hilda fills your head with what I call BS beliefs,
lies, alternative facts, right?
And that's what she's doing.
She's telling you things that she says so repeatedly
that eventually a thought that's repeated is a belief.
So you buy into her lies and since it's in your brain
and nobody's told you it's some chick named Hilda
you assume it's true.
Why would you lie to yourself, right?
Why would you do that?
So yeah, 50 percent of the transformation
is just recognizing no, wait.
That's not my thought, that's her thought.
And now that we've attributed it to Hilda
we can have that objectivity to do something about it.
- Awesome.
So huge because sabotage is like, the biggest problem
we all have right?
We all sabotage ourselves in some way, somehow,
in some area of our life.
I see it all the time in fitness.
You have four specific BS beliefs?
I don't know if you want to get into those
but one of them deals with procrastination right?
It's gonna be too hard, I don't wanna,
I don't feel like it,
like that happens in my world everyday.
- A hundred percent, I think I don't wanna
is the patron saint of fitness sabotage.
I always say you know, she convinces you,
she's kind of like this enabler you know.
Oh well, you ate a good breakfast so go ahead
and have a doughnut before lunch.
(laughter)
Or you know, you worked out last week
so let's watch Netflix together.
You know, I don't wanna Hilda will use anything she has
to convince you that you don't actually want to do this.
What I've learned from being a penguin, Jen,
is that it's about like, standing up on the mat
and taking the first breath and then raising your hands
the first time.
Once you start it's not hard.
It's not hard to keep going.
But I don't wanna Hilda is on a mission
to keep you comfortable.
And it's much more comfortable to stay on the couch
then to stand up and get on the mat
and start your exercise.
Even if it's a five minute stretch break.
- Yeah right.
Getting started is the hardest part.
It's, I call it my five minute rule.
On the days I don't feel like it and I don't wanna,
like five minutes, let me just go do five minutes.
- Yeah.
- Because five minute are the hardest.
Once you're in it, it's not that hard.
- Right and beating Hilda is just to decide
I don't feel like it isn't a good enough excuse.
Right, because I don't feel like it,
I know, it stings right? - It hurts, right?
- We have a habit and that's all it is, it's a habit,
it's not a disease that you have.
It's just a bad habit saying,
well I didn't feel it today.
But this comes up in fitness, it comes up in health.
I didn't feel like eating kale today.
It comes up in creativity, I didn't feel inspired today
to write, you know, or it comes up in so many ways
where we're relying on feeling motivated
as a strategy, which is a really bad idea.
It's a bad strategy to rely on feeling like something.
But relying on you know what?
Whether I feel like it or not, I'm going to get
five minutes in, at least five minutes.
Now imagine Jen every time you do that
first five minutes, you feel like doing 10 or 20.
- Yeah, I rarely ever stop at five minutes.
But I know that I have permission to stop
at five minutes, if I'm really honestly truly
not feeling it, exhausted, tired, getting sick, whatever.
- Sure.
- Um but yeah, 99 percent of the time,
once you get five minutes in, you might as well keep going.
Another five minutes and another five and might as well
go to a half an hour.
- Right. - And momentum.
- What we're teaching here is that I don't wanna Hilda
is trying to convince you that you don't want to right now.
And maybe you don't actually want to right now
but you do want to in the big picture, right?
You've set a goal for yourself.
You said, you know what, I want to get more flexible
or I want to just feel stronger or I want my thighs
to fit into this size jeans or whatever your goals are,
those are things you actually want.
They're not shoulds, they're things you actually want.
That doesn't mean you're going to want to make
an effort this afternoon at two o'clock.
And that's where Hilda's gonna be like,
that's where I can sabotage you.
And if I can get you before you do something about it,
you're gonna stay sabotaged and we can hang out
on the couch and eat Bon-Bons together.
That's Hilda's M.O.
I've never had a Bon-Bon but I always say
that Hilda and I are going to have Bon-Bons.
- I know, I don't think I've ever have either.
Not that I can remember.
- No but for some reason that works, right?
- It's like ice cream, isn't it?
I don't even know what it is.
- I think it's like those little balls of ice cream yeah.
- Alright whatever.
It's a good analogy, everybody understands it
when you say it but yeah.
(laughter)
Come up with a new one.
Okay, so that's I don't wanna Hilda.
You have three others, you wanna briefly fill us in?
- Sure, so she's I don't wanna Hilda
is one of the BS beliefs.
The other three are I can't.
That's where she convinces you that there's something
wrong with you even though everybody else can do this,
there's something about you that's just so special
that you can't do it, right?
So she's kind of tearing you up from the inside
and making you feel really, a lot of self doubt.
Then there's I shouldn't Hilda.
And she kind of eats you up from the outside.
She makes you worry about being embarrassed
or what everybody's gonna think
and how you're gonna be perceived
and is consumed with everybody's looking at me.
Even though we all know that everybody's just looking
at themselves but that's what she convinces us of
and gets that spotlight.
And then the last one there is, I don't know.
This is where she convinces you
that you are not ready to cross that starting line.
You need to go back and do more research.
You can't start taking care of, you can't you know,
start eating better at lunch today
because you don't know enough about nutrition, right?
You can't take a piyo class because you don't know
if it's gonna be the thing
that changes your life forever, right?
That's where I don't know convinces you
to not start something whereas I don't wanna
wants to convince to not finish something.
- It's huge. - Yeah.
- It's just I've gotta say,
having this language being able to talk to people
in these terms about Hilda, it just it makes everything
so much more relatable and understandable and like, (sighs).
It's not me.
- Yes. - It's her.
- It is wonderful, it's really quite funny
because it's a pretty basic language.
It's not like I made up words but when you put it together,
we'll have a discussion and just after listening
to this little bit, if this is the first time
you've met me, you probably know what this means.
We had a conversation in my group coaching program
where somebody says, sometimes when I can't
and I don't wanna get together I just don't.
And we all roared because instantly like I know exactly
what you mean, right?
- Yeah.
- And it really is, it's like a cocktail of Hilda-isms.
And Hilda in her job is to keep you safe
and to keep you small and to sabotage you at any length.
She's gonna get as sly and clever as she needs to
whenever you're about to do something that matters,
something that scares you a little bit.
- Yeah, it's true.
I'm in your coaching program by the way.
And it's amazing, highly recommend it.
So for anybody who wants more info about you,
whether they're interested in the coaching program
or maybe kind of just learning more about you,
where do they go to do that?
- I recommend going over to coachjennie.com.
And Coach Jennie's spelled with an I E.
And when you're there, you can learn all about me,
you can learn about my book, so you can pick up my book
over there, um, and then you can also learn
about my coaching program under work with me.
The first thing I would suggest doing is taking my quiz.
So there is a link there to take the quiz
to find out which one of the four BS beliefs
Hilda's feeding you right now.
Now that changes depending on what you're working on
for some people and other people, they're like,
I shouldn't Hilda is my Hilda, right?
But take the quiz and you can get some more information
and you'll get a complete dossier on your Hilda
and start figuring out what we can do to shut her up.
- Awesome, highly recommend it.
- Thank you, thank you so much Jen.
I love working with you, I love being a penguin,
and I love how penguins and Hilda go together.
- Yeah, they really do
I really love having this language.
- Yeah.
- It's just is so much fun.
Fits right into the penguin world.
- It totally does.
- And in comes Hilda.
We'll have to make a meme or something.
- We do, we have to make like a side by side graphic.
But you've got your penguin there, I've got my Hilda here.
We've got a fantastic graphics.
- Yeah, so much fun.
Well thank you so much for being here.
- Thank you.
- Please take advantage of Jennie's quiz.
Find out which Hilda is messing with you
and then what you can do about it to shut her up
and get on with life, right?
- Exactly.
- Alright thank you.
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