- You try to be a good employee.
You show up, you sit at your desk,
you move things around on it,
you update your screensaver,
you finally find the nearest printer.
But sometimes it's still all just too much.
So here's a tip, leave early.
Leaving early, while it sounds challenging,
is actually really easy and great for your mental health.
Here's the first thing you do.
Create an event in your calendar for the last half hour
of the day that you're supposed to be there.
Now I have to invite some people.
I'm gonna go with this list of interns
who don't work here anymore.
I'm also gonna invite an actual employee,
Peter Vietz, who will get an email about it
and then email me saying he didn't know there was a meeting
and I'll say, "Sorry, I looped you in accidentally."
Now, at the same time I'm gonna book
a conference room on the seventh floor.
There are never any conference rooms
on the seventh floor available.
So that means Dan M, who works in conference room booking,
is gonna email me saying that,
and I'm gonna say, "Oh no problem, I'm gonna
"move my meeting back to my office."
Now I'm professional and considerate.
Ta da, and now I have two alibis.
So now, when I hang this sign
on my office at the end of the day,
no one can say I wasn't in a meeting.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how
you have a healthy work life balance.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a gym membership to cancel.
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