I think what it basically is for me, the Quantum Consultation is a type of communication beyond
time and space where if there's any part of or dimension of ourselves that looks like
the cover of the book Breaking Normal - that maybe we're in a self-imposed prison without
being aware of it or conscious of it.I think this is an opportunity for us to bring awareness
to that and illuminate it and therefore giving us the keys to that potential jail - that
jail that's now in the past.
So if you have anything that you think…
At this point in my life things are actually really great - I read your book because it's
super interesting and I've been following you for a while.
Recently I've been dating this girl, and at this point in my life I'm pretty grounded
with everything - I've never been as confident as I am.
The girl I'm dating right now she's awesome, she's great - I'm having a great time
with her, she's a beautiful person but she has a lot of self-conscious issues that I
used to go through when I was younger so I try to influence a lot of positivity into
her but sometimes I feel like, I've been applying what you said in your book about
listening.
I'm listening a lot more, and talking like you say "run on" and just keep talking
without listening.
But I feel like I can't relate to a lot of these things, sometimes I waste my energy
trying to get points across and I don't know how to deal with people who have like
body image issues to another level that I can't relate to I guess.
Well first of all I'm happy to hear how you feel healthier and more balanced and more
grounded than ever.
Looking at you online led me to believe that you were a very healthy grounded Allstar.
And I can understand the frustration that you are alluding to in the sense that say
it's my sister or a girlfriend - I'm married, not even a girl that I'm dating but a friend
that's a girl and yeah I understand the frustration of "What you're insecure about
your ankles" or "What you're insecure about your hair" - to me that's a distraction
of something bigger.
What I think it's reflecting is some sort of way that you might have a lack of patience
with yourself - like it almost sounds like boredom- under the boredom and under the impatience
there probably lies a frustration.
And what I'm guessing that frustration is indicative of - what that frustration has
been indicative of to me in the past is that I am not - or I was not sharing my gift fully.
I wasn't fully showing up.
I was sort of um…it would almost be like imagine surfing…
Do you surf by any chance?
Yeah - I surf as much as I can.
Perfect.
So I realized after about decade of surfing now and wanting other people to experience
the majesticness of surfing - like I really want them to.
It's one of the greatest activities I've ever done and sometimes I almost feel like
"I don't know this is fair" I'm out there surfing these amazing waves, having
this amazing time and I don't even know how to relate to people - I don't know how
to share how amazing this was.
And I especially got frustrated if I was trying to teach someone how to surf and it almost
felt like they were putting me in danger like by paddling the same speed as they were and
by trying to be with them as they were learning it was actually putting me in danger and them
in danger.
And I realized about myself I am not a surf instructor.
I am happy to surf with people once they are ready to surf at a similar level to me so
that we can both just go have fun together but for me to babysit someone surfing or for
me to teach someone surfing is not within my capacity and when I give beyond my capacity
I kind of make the receiver a thief.
So, I don't know how this applies to your girlfriend necessarily
Somewhat applies…I mean I get that.
What I'm thinking is like if your girlfriend really - or whoever it is - a friend or sister
is really hung up on things that you feel are elementary or beyond your capacity it
might not be for you to help her with that.
That might be for her girlfriends, that might be for her and her sister, that might be for
her and her mom.
It might not be something for you to hold her hand through.
I think we all show up differently for different people.
And just as I can go surfing with a certain group of people maybe I wouldn't want to
go out on a night in the town with them because I would be babysitting them.
So I understand how that can be frustrating but I think the best thing to do is be as
radically honest as possible with your girlfriend about your frustration.
Just like keep illuminating what you're frustrated about - if you're judging her
to be insecure, if you're judging her to be distracted by small things whatever it
is I would share that, as challenging or scary as that might sound to share that with her
with an open heart, immediately.
The building up of that I think can really distance ya'll.
But if you're upfront with it about the beginning - like man I'm frustrated are
you really insecure about your hair, are you really insecure about the way your legs look?
I love your legs.
What in the heavens is going on - I think she will realize that she gets to figure this
maybe out without you.
Maybe this her own journey - this part of her journey is something that she gets to
figure out alone.
Just as when I'm surfing that's something that my wife is not involved with - that's
like my own heroes journey.
So I mean is there anything else?
I'm happy to explore this out loud- I don't really have a direct answer except to really
be upfront about your frustration.
And I think the more upfront you are with her about it the more you'll realize why
re frustrated about it- it might start bringing up things for you.
Why are you lacking patience in this realm - because sometimes the smallest things - how
we handle the smallest things is indicative of how we handle everything.
So maybe the patience - maybe by you learning how to be more patient with your girlfriend
or letting her have her own space and her own time with these insecurities or whatever
it might be - the more you might be patient with yourself in something totally different.
True, no I get that completely.
Yeah I mean I feel like I try to I don't know be the best I can to you know, show her
that it doesn't have to be the way she thinks.
And I mean she's trying and I get that.
Just being patient is the best thing I can do at this point but I know that I'm not
the driving force behind her getting over her insecurities or whatever.
And I bet in some ways - in some way I'm not sure if it's direct or metaphorical
whatever you're getting frustrated about with her and her journey I have a feeling
its reflective of some way that maybe is frustrating for you like what is it in you life that is
taking longer than necessary to figure out.
Is there something that you know is right at your finger tips but you haven't grabbed
it yet?
I guess, I mean I have my own frustrations as well - I mean you know not being you know
up to par with what I want to be or what I want to do.
Is there something specific or is it just a general?
Just mostly general at this point - you know like, I'm taking things slow, like little
by little - I'm about to graduate, I'm not in a rush to graduate and but I'm getting
as much work experience as I can.
At this point I'm pretty grounded than I was like 5 months ago to say.. but um, I have
that frustration I guess lingering in the back that maybe I won't, you know, end up
doing what I want to do or.
What is it that you want to do or be passionate about?
We have a minute left I want to get to this I feel like we're getting something good
here.
I don't know I guess at the core of it what makes me you know feel healthiest is helping
others as much as I have like muy.
You know like as much as I love surfing - that's like one of my passions I can't do it as
much here - but one thing i love more than that is seeing others, sharing that with them.
So it's like I guess channeling like my energy to helping others and…
And sometimes it's what I've found in some realms that the best way I can help someone
is not to tell them anything but for me to completely embody it.
Like sometimes at our retreats I've heard from multiple people that what they learned
the most from me is by watching me.
Not even by what I say, it's like but what I'm doing consistently - wow this guy is
really spending a lot of time in cold water, wow this guy is really spending a lot of time
breathing - he's not even telling me to do any of it, but by them watching me it seems
like that's sometimes more powerful than anything I can say.
And then I was also going to - a little side note: a lot of times when you were telling
me things you were kind of nodding your head "no." which I think is indicative of maybe
some sort of underlying frustration or lack of patience.
And that goes the call - 11:11 what do you know.
So although maybe we didn't necessarily - like I didn't feel "oh, that's exactly
what it was" - maybe that this will - maybe it will hit tomorrow.
Maybe it will hit tonight in your sleep.
Maybe it will never happen - maybe we'll never get clear on this and that maybe your
underlying frustration, that continuous frustration is what's going to drive you forward to
be the best version of yourself and to love the frustration.
Like that little frustration, that little situation like, a lot of times peoples biggest
problems are their biggest opportunities it's what drives them forward to embody their full
heroic self.
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