Up until now I've only made one Turkish video for this channel.
Plus two videos where I sing...
But besides that I've made all my videos in English up until now.
Language is very unforgiving...
When you don't use it, you forget it right away!
And I haven't spoken any Turkish, for many years.
That's why my Turkish might have deteriorated a little bit.
Also, my hair looks really strange today.
Just a second my legs are cramping.
Today, I got a message...
And this message was sent to me in Turkish.
Now I'm gonna read this message, and then I'm going to respond to it.
Hello, Sadie & P.
I'm going to write this e-mail in Turkish, I hope that's okay for you.
I'd like to start off by saying that I love you both very much!
I didn't succeed on my exams this year, so I signed up for classes to try again next year.
There was a girl group that I didn't like very much, and every time they saw me they were teasing me.
And I was trying to make it seem like I didn't care.
But one day, it all became too much, and I found myself crying.
So I went to see my teacher, I told her about the situation, and she made me feel better.
I realized that I can be easily myself around her.
Afterwards I started going to see her almost every day.
Not only to talk about myself, but also to ask her how she was doing.
Because I cared about her.
So that I can talk to her.
By the way in our second conversation I had told her that I was Bisexual,
And she had told me that she has no problems with that.
She was always telling me that I was special, and that I could achieve anything if I wanted to.
Of course I knew that she was only saying this as a "Guidance Counselor"
I knew that there was nothing else between us.
She told me that up until a year ago, she was in a longterm relationship.
And that it ended tragically.
For two and a half moths we were super close, and I could talk to her 4 days out of the week.
Because of some issues, she had to resign, and the day she left, I realized how sad I felt.
I already knew how much I loved her as a friend and a teacher..
But when she left, I realized that maybe it was a little more than that.
I'm not even sure yet, because I have been attracted to older guys before, but I've never pictured myself with an older woman before.
I'm not sure if I can't admit my feelings to myself, or if I'm making a big deal out of nothing.
I realize that we haven't known each other for too long, but I always felt like we had a connection.
She also said this, and told me how much I reminded her of herself.
But I feel like this doesn't mean that much.
Eventhough she resigned, she told me that we would see each other out of school.
Along with not being sure about my feelings, this situation scared me a little.
Because having feelings for a straight woman will be very hard for me.
How can I be sure about what I feel? I'm really confused.
Also there's a 7-8 year age gap between us, which is also scary.
I just wanted to write to you, to vent out.
Sending you lots of hugs and kisses...
First of all I wanna say this...
(When brain death is happening)
I think I read that too fast...
Okay I can do this, I can make this video!
I'm trying to shift from first language to second, and I'm having a hard time with that, it's like the gear's stuck.
My second Turkish video will be successful! I hope...
First of all, I'm no stranger to having feelings for a teacher
Because I also had a crush on my teacher when I was in 6 or 7th grade.
She was my Turkish teacher at the time, and I had feelings for her.
Of course at that time, I wasn't aware that I was a lesbian.
Or maybe I was aware but I didn't want to be aware of it.
I was feeling very close to this teacher and I would spend time with her whenever I could.
That's why I can easily relate to you in this way.
And also 7-8 years is not that big of an age gap really
Considering the fact that I have a 28 year age gap with my girlfriend right now!
If you really think that your teacher is straight, you shouldn't waste your energy on this I think.
But if you feel like maybe there's a chance she might have feelings for you as well,
then you should just go for it
(brain death #2)
My brain has flown away...
It's gone!
it's not here, it's done.
it ran out of battery.
I forgot what I was even trying to say.
I apologize to the girl who wrote me this message
because I'm really having brain cramps.
What I was trying to say was this...
If you have hope that something might happen between the two of you, then go for it.
But if you have no hope, and you're only gonna break your own heart, then try to focus on other people.
But I don't understand what you mean by saying you're not sure about how you feel.
Because if you like someone, you already know that you have feelings for them
if you didn't have feelings you wouldn't have written this e-mail.
I think you can trust that your feelings are real.
Age is not that important, and neither is gender.
That's why I find it funny when people judge lesbians or find gay people gross.
It's really bizarre. Because at the end of the day, we love people's hearts.
We don't fall in love with their gender.
Gender attraction is just purely biological it is not emotional.
Being a lesbian, being bisexual, the labels and the terms are not that important
The only thing that matters is having the freedom to be with the people we end up falling in love with.
Love is the greatest treasure on this earth, and we should be able to be with, whomever we find that love towards.
My brain got kind of scattered all over the place but I think I made my point.
Let me know if you want me to make more Turkish videos but, just keep in mind that it might be all over the place like this.
I have a little bit of a "crampy turkish" at this point.
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