GOOD AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
THIS WAY, PLEASE.
MR. ORMAN IS JUST GETTING UP.
FAMOUS PEOPLE GENERALLY SLEEP LATE.
YOU MAY OPEN IT, MR. MARTELLI.
YES, MR. LONGHEART.
UH...
NO.
GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ORMAN.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?
FAIR.
LOOK AT THE SHOULDERS.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THOSE LAPELS?
AUTIFUL.
IT'LL LOOK BETTER ON YOU, SIR.
NO. ALWAYS LOOKS BETTER ON HIM.
HE'S MORE RELAXED.
LUTHER?
A FLOWER.
LOOK AT HIM. NOTHING WORRIES HIM.
HA HA.
I SEE YOU'RE NOT SUPERSTITIOUS.
NOT IN THE LEAST.
THAT'S FORTUNATE.
WHY?
WELL, BECAUSE BERTOLDI...
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH, NOTHING. NOTHING.
WELL, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW,
THIS SUIT HAS BEEN CURSED.
CURSED?
YES. YOU REMEMBER BERTOLDI, OUR CUTTER?
YES. WHAT ABOUT HIM?
I HAD TO DISMISS HIM ON ACCOUNT OF THIS SUIT.
HOW COME?
WE ARGUED ABOUT THESE LAPELS.
THEY'RE PERFECT.
AREN'T THEY? WHEN BERTOLDI LEFT,
HE WAS RED IN THE FACE WITH RAGE.
HE ASSERTED THIS SUIT WOULD BRING MISFORTUNE
TO ANYBODY WHO EVER WORE IT.
HE CURSED IT.
THIS IS THE BEST SUIT THAT I HAVE EVER MADE.
I KNOW IT WILL BRING YOU GOOD LUCK.
THIS IS A LUCKY SUIT, MR. ORMAN.
AND I GUARANTEE YOUR HAPPINESS IN IT.
ANTHONY, I DEMAND AN ANSWER.
IS IT TRUE?
UNFORTUNATELY...
YES.
NO...
NO. NO.
TERRIFIC, PAUL! A SMASH HIT!
THEY ATE IT UP!
THE BIGGEST OPENING NIGHT OF THE SEASON.
YOU HELD THEM IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND EVERY SECOND-
JUST LIKE THAT!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHERE YOU GOING?
CHIEF!
WAIT A MINUTE!
CHIEF!
HURRY! THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU!
COME ON, PAUL! THEY'RE YELLING FOR YOU!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
ARE YOU MAD?
YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE 10 OR 12 MORE CURTAIN CALLS.
IMPOSSIBLE. WHERE'S LUTHER?
LUTHER?
YOU CAN'T DO THIS!
WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL THEM-
THAT YOU'RE CRAZY OR SOMETHING?
TELL THEM I DON'T CARE TO STEP OUT OF CHARACTER.
WHAT CHARACTER?
I AM DEAD, REMEMBER?
AW, CHIEF, PLEASE!
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
I'M YOUR MANAGER. I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW.
WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?
GO TO MY APARTMENT AND WAIT THERE.
I'LL CALL IF I HAVE ANY NEWS.
STEP ON IT, LUTHER.
BOSS, YOU WERE REALLY HOT TONIGHT.
THAT LAST SCENE WAS A DILLY.
I'M NOT INTERESTED. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?
WE CAN SHAVE OFF 10 MINUTES IF WE DON'T GET STOPPED.
GOOD.
WE'LL BE THERE IN 15 MINUTES.
GO ON.
TELL ME WHAT EVERYBODY SAYS.
JUST WHAT I TOLD YOU.
YOU WERE LUCKY TO GET RID OF HER LAST YEAR.
IT WAS MORE THAN LUCK.
IT WAS A BLESSING.
WHY DID I HAVE THREE FLOPS IN A ROW?
BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD ACT.
THE MINUTE I COME ON STAGE WITHOUT HER,
LOOK WHAT HAPPENS. A SMASH HIT.
YOU SAID IT, BOSS.
BUT WHAT BEATS ME IS
WHY YOU WANT TO START EVERYTHING OVER AGAIN.
NEVER MIND.
WHY ARE YOU SLOWING DOWN?
GET GOING.
GOOD EVENING, SIR. I BEG YOUR PARDON.
WERE YOU INVITED?
OH, MR. ORMAN.
HOW SWEET OF YOU.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.
PAUL-
GOOD EVENING.
YOU FOOL. WHY DID YOU COME?
LOVE. IT SOMETIMES BLINDS ME.
AFTER WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH TODAY.
HE'LL SEE YOU NOW.
THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT HE'LL DO.
WHO? YOUR HUSBAND?
YES.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU
WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS PAST YEAR?
HE SUSPECTS US CONSTANTLY.
THE MERE MENTION OF YOUR NAME,
HE RAVES LIKE A MADMAN.
THE LUNACY MUST BE A STRAIN ON YOU.
PATHETIC.
THIS IS NO TIME TO JOKE.
PLEASE, YOU MUST GO.
I'VE ARRANGED EVERYTHING PERFECTLY FOR US,
AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING I'VE DONE.
YOU ARE SO COMPLETELY BEWILDERED
THAT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED ME HOW THE OPENING WAS.
I OPENED IN A PLAY TONIGHT, IF YOU REMEMBER.
OH, FORGIVE ME. HOW WAS IT?
A SMASH.
WENT LIKE A HOUSE AFIRE.
AND YOU?
AT MY BEST.
I'M SO GLAD.
THANK YOU.
PLEASE GO, PAUL.
I'LL BE IN TOWN TOMORROW AT 10:00 TO SEE YOU.
OH, YOU WILL?
CERTAINLY. AS WE PLANNED.
YOU LITTLE TWO-FACED LIAR.
PAUL, YOU'RE MAD.
TOMORROW, EH?
NO. YOU WILL NOT SEE ME TOMORROW OR EVER AGAIN-
UNLESS YOU BUY A TICKET TO THE BOX OFFICE.
I'M SAYING GOODBYE FOREVER.
YOU CAME OUT HERE TO SAY GOODBYE TO ME?
NO. I CAME OUT HERE TO PLEAD WITH YOU,
TO HOLD YOU, KISS YOU,
FALL AT YOUR FEET.
YOU'VE EVIDENTLY CHANGED YOUR MIND.
YES, WHEN YOU LIED AGAIN.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS TO LOOK INTO A WOMAN'S EYES
WHEN SHE IS LYING?
FORGIVE ME.
I SHOULD BE MORE TOLERANT WITH A LIAR.
I HAVE BEEN ONE MYSELF SO OFTEN.
WE'LL PART WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ARGUMENT-
QUIETLY AND CALMLY.
I KNOW EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE GOING WITH HIM TOMORROW AT 9:00
ON A PLANE TO CANADA... TO HUNT MOOSE.
OH. SO THAT'S THE POINT.
YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM YOU WERE THROUGH WITH HIM.
YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM YOU LOVE ME.
INSTEAD, YOU HELD YOUR HUSBAND AND SAID,
"YES, DARLING, I'LL GO WITH YOU ANYWHERE.
"I AM YOUR GOOD AND LOYAL WIFE.
I LOVE ONLY YOU. NOBODY ELSE."
HAH.
PAUL, PLEASE. YOU MUST GO-
JOHN.
LOOK WHO DROPPED IN.
HELLO, MR. ORMAN. GLAD TO SEE YOU.
HOW ARE YOU, SIR?
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE EXPECTING
THE CELEBRATED MR. ORMAN TONIGHT.
I DIDN'T TELL YOU, BUT I WAS.
PAUL OPENED IN A NEW SHOW TONIGHT.
OH, YES. SO THE NEW SHOW WAS A FLOP, EH?
NO. ON THE CONTRARY, IT WAS A MAGNIFICENT SUCCESS.
I'M SPENDING THE WEEKEND A FEW MILES FROM HERE.
I DROPPED IN TO WISH YOU HAPPY HUNTING...
IN CANADA, ISN'T IT?
YES. I DO ALL MY HUNTING IN CANADA.
OH, WHOA THERE.
NOT SO FAST.
A DRINK, MR. ORMAN?
NO, THANKS.
ETHEL?
NO. DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE HAVING TOO MANY, DEAR?
FRANKLY, NO.
AND YOU'RE MIXING THEM, TOO.
PLEASE, JOHN.
THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE MY DRINKS-MIXED.
KEEPS ME INTERESTED IN DRINKING.
OTHERWISE I GET BORED.
SURE YOU WON'T HAVE ONE?
NO, THANKS. I HAVE OTHER REMEDIES FOR BOREDOM.
I IMAGINE.
WELL, I'M SORRY I CANNOT STAY FOR YOUR PARTY,
SO I'LL SAY GOODBYE.
AND A VERY PLEASANT TRIP TO BOTH OF YOU.
WELL, YOU'RE WASTING ONE OF YOUR GOODBYES.
MY WIFE ISN'T GOING WITH ME.
SHE INSISTS ON STAYING BEHIND.
THAT'S OLD CHARLIE HENDERSON.
I MUST SPEAK TO HIM BEFORE HE GETS TOO TIGHT.
WELL, GOODBYE.
GOODBYE.
GO TO THE LODGE AT THE END OF THE GARDEN.
I'LL BE THERE IMMEDIATELY.
I ADORE YOU.
FORGIVE ME FOR DOUBTING YOU.
CERTAINLY.
DO YOU LOVE ME?
OH, YES. OF COURSE I DO.
BUT, DARLING, WE HAVEN'T MUCH TIME.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
BUT, PAUL...
OH, COME. PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
I LEARNED SOMETHING TONIGHT.
I LEARNED HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.
YOU TOLD ME THAT A YEAR AGO,
AND YOU LET ME GO.
YOU LET ME MARRY HIM.
YOU NEVER EVEN PHONED.
IF YOU'D ASKED ME TO FORGIVE YOU-
I DIDN'T KNOW THEN
THAT LOVE WAS MORE THAN A GOOD SCENE.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SOMETHING THAT...
THAT WOULD TEAR AT YOUR HEART...
AND BURN THROUGH THE GREASEPAINT.
YOU FEEL THAT WAY?
I DO.
MY DARLING...
I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING.
YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING ME LIES AND HIM LIES.
I KNOW. I'VE DONE IT MYSELF TOO OFTEN.
BUT THAT IS OVER... FOR BOTH OF US.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU'RE COMING ALONG WITH ME. TOMORROW.
BRAZIL.
YOU CAN WIRE HIM.
WE'LL STAY THERE UNTIL HE GIVES YOU A DIVORCE.
AND THEN... THEN WE'LL GET MARRIED.
MARRIED?
YOU?
YES, ME.
I NEED YOU.
I REALIZED THAT TODAY.
I NEED YOU, AND I'VE GOT TO PAY FOR YOU.
YOU FRIGHTEN ME.
BUT YOU...
YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH?
OH, YES, DARLING.
I'LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING,
RIGHT AFTER HE LEAVES.
BUT... IF YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH,
WHY WERE YOU SO FRIGHTENED IN THE HOUSE?
HE'S VERY CURIOUS WHEN HE'S DRINKING.
I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO YOU.
WHY?
I COULDN'T STAND THAT.
I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
I COULDN'T-
MURRAY HILL 7564, PLEASE.
WHO ARE YOU CALLING?
MR. WEBB. MY MANAGER.
WHY HIM NOW?
GOT SOME NEWS FOR HIM.
HE'S WAITING AT MY APARTMENT.
WHAT NEWS, PAUL?
KISS ME.
I ADORE YOU.
MADLY.
STUPIDLY.
BLINDLY-
HELLO, OLIVER?
YES, IT'S ME.
PAY ATTENTION, PLEASE, AND NO ARGUMENTS.
I WANT YOU TO CLOSE THE PLAY.
I SAID CLOSE THE PLAY.
I'M LEAVING TOMORROW FOR SIX MONTHS.
PAUL, CLOSE A HIT?
DARLING, YOU'RE WORTH A THOUSAND HITS.
I HOPE.
OLIVER?
NO. NO. I'M IN MY RIGHT MIND.
IN FACT, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS BORN.
DO WHAT I TELL YOU!
IT'S MY SHOW, MY MONEY, MY THEATER!
ALL RIGHT. PAY EVERYBODY OFF!
AND GET ME TWO TICKETS TO RIO.
ON THE CLIPPER.
FOR TOMORROW.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M A LITTLE AMAZED AT MYSELF.
DID I SOUND VERY NAIVE?
NO.
THAT'S HOW IT GOES.
ALWAYS ACTING UNTIL YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU CAN BELIEVE IN.
Put out the light.
THE PARTY'S BECOMING A BORE.
TOO MANY DRUNKS.
I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.
WE WERE TALKING OVER PAUL'S NEW PLAY.
IT WAS SO NOISY IN THERE.
YES, SO I IMAGINE.
I WONDERED IF YOU HAD CHANGED YOUR MIND.
ABOUT WHAT?
CANADA. COMING WITH ME?
NO. I'M AFRAID NOT.
I DON'T SEE HOW YOU COULD RESIST
THE BEST SHOOTING IN THE WORLD...
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR MOOSE.
HAVE YOU EVER HUNTED MOOSE...
MR. ORMAN?
NO, I HAVEN'T.
MAYBE...
YOU'D LIKE TO COME WITH ME.
JOHN, YOU'RE DRUNK. PLEASE.
DON'T EXAGGERATE. I NEVER GET DRUNK.
I GET INVOLVED, BUT NOT DRUNK.
I'LL LET YOU USE MY FAVORITE GUN, MR. ORMAN.
LET ME SHOW YOU MY COLLECTION.
ONE OF THE BEST, YOU KNOW.
HERE IT IS.
TOOK ME YEARS TO GATHER THIS.
AND HERE...
HERE... IS MY FAVORITE.
NEVER FAILED ME.
HERE HE IS.
COLONEL JOHNSON.
COLONEL, HOW ARE YOU?
OH.
BUT I...
I WAS JUST GOING.
NONSENSE. ALWAYS WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.
DON'T MIND IF I SPRUCE UP THE COLONEL, DO YOU?
PLEASE DON'T POINT THAT.
DON'T WORRY. THE COLONEL'S NOT LOADED.
I MAY BE A TRIFLE,
BUT NOT THE COLONEL.
THREE YEARS AGO, I GOT AN ELK.
THERE HE IS.
LAST YEAR, I SHOT OVER THREE MOOSE.
THE COLONEL WAS ONLY A CAPTAIN THEN.
I PROMOTED HIM AFTER THE THIRD MOOSE.
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
A LOT OF THINGS.
BUT WE'LL BEGIN WITH GUNS.
THEY'RE MY HOBBY.
I DON'T THINK PAUL IS INTERESTED IN GUNS.
GUNS HAVE A CERTAIN INTEREST...
IN THE HANDS OF EXPERTS.
EXACTLY.
A MAN WOULD BE A NITWIT
NOT TO BE INTERESTED IN THIS WEAPON.
A BLIND MAN COULD HIT A DUCK'S EYE
AT 100 PACES WITH THE COLONEL.
HA HA. GOOD OLD COLONEL.
YOU REMEMBER THAT FELLOW UP THERE?
ETHEL, WHERE DID I PUT THAT OIL CAN?
WE'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO THE HOUSE.
THEY'LL BE MISSING US.
NOT A CHANCE. THEY'RE HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME.
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO SAY ABOUT GUNS?
EVER USE 'EM?
YES. ON THE STAGE.
SHOOT 'EM?
ON A STAGE.
NOT REAL BULLETS.
NO.
JUST BLANKS, EH?
YES.
ONLY BLANKS.
WE ACTORS PREFER THEM.
THIS IS SILLY, JOHN.
PAUL'S GIVEN AN OPENING PERFORMANCE,
AND HE'S PROBABLY EXHAUSTED.
DARLING, YOU HAVEN'T DANCED WITH ME THIS EVENING.
COME ON, WON'T YOU?
I NOTICED THAT.
IT'S TOO LATE NOW.
WILL YOU STOP PUTTERING WITH THAT GUN?
I'M GETTING VERY ANGRY!
WHY DON'T YOU GO, ETHEL?
PERHAPS YOUR HUSBAND WOULD PREFER TALKING TO ME ALONE.
I HAVE NO SECRETS FROM MY WIFE.
SHE MAY HAVE FROM ME.
THERE'S ALWAYS HALF OF WOMEN MISSING.
BUT WITH MEN, THEY'RE USUALLY IN ONE PIECE,
FULL OF TRUTH AND HONOR.
YES. THOSE THINGS COME WITH AGE.
THANK YOU. WELL PUT.
I SUPPOSE AN ACTOR CAN GET ALONG
WITHOUT MUCH TRUTH AND HONOR.
OH, YES. AN ACTOR CAN GET ALONG WITHOUT ANYTHING...
EXCEPT A GOOD PLAY.
SORRY I MISSED YOUR SHOW.
I UNDERSTAND YOU GET KILLED IN IT.
YES... AT THE END OF THE LAST ACT.
COULDN'T MAKE UP THEIR MINDS, EH?
NO, IT ISN'T THAT.
THEY COULD NOT AFFORD TO KILL ME EARLIER.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD FOR THE PLAY.
I SEE.
I UNDERSTAND A WOMAN SHOOTS YOU.
YES.
THE WOMAN I LOVE.
SOUNDS VERY DRAMATIC.
JOHN...
I DON'T WANT ANY INTERRUPTIONS.
HOW DO YOU ACT WHEN SHE POINTS THE GUN AT YOU?
AFRAID?
NO.
A LITTLE SAD, BUT RESIGNED.
I'M DRINKING A HIGHBALL.
HAVE ONE.
NO. THANKS.
I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE YOU DRUNK LIKE THIS.
I'M NOT BORING YOU, MR. ORMAN?
NO. NOT AT ALL.
YOU STAND RIGHT UP TO HER
AND DON'T ACT AFRAID, EH?
WHY IS THAT? DON'T SOUND REAL TO ME.
WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST I DO?
A FELLOW ALWAYS ACTS AFRAID WHEN HE'S FACING A GUN.
OH, BUT AN ACTOR WITHOUT COURAGE WOULD BE A FRAUD.
THE AUDIENCE ALWAYS LIKES COURAGE.
SO YOU THINK OF YOUR AUDIENCE WHEN YOU'RE ACTING?
ALWAYS.
I COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND ETHEL.
I COULD NEVER FIGURE OUT WHETHER SHE MEANT SOMETHING
OR WAS JUST ACTING IT.
KEPT ME GUESSING FOR A YEAR.
MARRIAGE IS NO FUN
WHEN IT TURNS INTO A GUESSING CONTEST.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE YOU ARE, COLONEL.
ALL SPRUCED UP NEAT AND CLEAN
AND READY TO GO HUNTING.
JOHN!
YOU TOOK...
YOU TOOK QUITE A LONG TIME ABOUT IT, MR. HALLOWAY.
I WAS GETTING VERY NERVOUS.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
WAS IT?
YOU SAW IT, ETHEL.
I WAS CLEANING THE GUN. IT WENT OFF.
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS LOADED.
YOU'VE KILLED HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
THEY'LL COME HERE. THE POLICE.
THEY'LL TAKE YOU AWAY.
OH, JOHN, WHY DID YOU DO IT?
THIS'LL RUIN YOU. BOTH OF US.
WHY DID YOU DO IT?
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I WAS CLEANING MY GUN.
YOU SAW IT.
OH, YES.
YES, OF COURSE.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
YOU CAN TELL THE POLICE...
THAT IT WAS...
UNINTENTIONAL.
THAT YOUR HUSBAND AND I
WERE THE BEST OF FRIENDS.
YES, OF COURSE.
I'LL TELL THEM THAT.
I'LL SAY THAT.
JOHN, CALL A DOCTOR, PLEASE.
NO.
IT'S TOO LATE FOR A DOCTOR.
THE CURTAIN IS COMING DOWN.
IT'S THE END OF ACT III.
HE SUDDENLY-
NO, NO. WE'LL CALL A DOCTOR.
OH, DARLING, I DIDN'T KNOW.
I'VE BEEN STUPID AND HORRIBLE.
I MADE YOU DO THIS.
HE DID NOTHING.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
IT MIGHT HAPPEN...
TO ANYONE.
I'LL CALL THE SERVANTS.
YOU'LL BE MY WITNESS?
YES.
TO THE END.
GOOD GIRL.
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL CALL THEM.
HA HA HA HA.
DON'T BOTHER. I'M ALL RIGHT.
WELL, YOU'RE - YOU'RE NOT HURT. THANK HEAVEN.
HOW DID I DO, MR. HALLOWAY?
LIKE WHAT?
MY PERFORMANCE. COULDN'T RESIST IT. HA HA.
DEATH SCENES HAVE BEEN MY SPECIALTY SINCE I BECAME FAMOUS.
SO WHEN ANYBODY SHOOTS ME, I FALL DEAD.
YOU WERE ACTING?
UH-HUH. OH, IT'S AN OFF NIGHT FOR A COLONEL.
HE IS NOT A WIZARD. MISSED ME BY A MILE.
I HOPE YOU HAVE BETTER LUCK IN CANADA, MR. HALLOWAY.
OH, NOW, DON'T FEEL SO DEPRESSED.
YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T LOOK TOO GOOD UP THERE
ON A PLAQUE.
YOU WERE ACTING?
YES. YOUR HUSBAND PUT IT INTO MY HEAD,
COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU,
BEING UNABLE TO TELL WHETHER YOU MEANT ANYTHING
OR WERE ONLY ACTING.
I THOUGHT THAT WOULD SHOW HIM A SAMPLE OF REAL ACTING.
PAUL, HE DIDN'T TRY TO SHOOT YOU. IT WAS ACCIDENTAL.
THE ONLY THING ACCIDENTAL ABOUT IT IS THAT HE MISSED ME.
THAT WAS PURE ACCIDENT,
NOT HIS, THE COLONEL'S.
I'M AFRAID, SIR, YOU'LL HAVE TO DEMOTE HIM,
MAKE HIM A CAPTAIN AGAIN.
HA HA HA.
OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR WIFE, MR. HALLOWAY.
OH, SHE MAY BECOME INTOXICATED WITH THE WINE OF ROMANCE,
BUT YOU, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE MORNING AFTER.
YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ME ABOUT HER.
THEN YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN SAVED THE EMBARRASSMENT
OF TRYING TO MURDER ME.
PAUL, IT'S NOT TRUE. I SAW IT.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. YOU MUST BELIEVE IT.
YES...
YES, MR. HALLOWAY,
SHE MEANT IT, THE THINGS YOU DOUBTED.
SHE MEANT EVERY WORD OF THEM.
SHE LOVES YOUR STRONG, MANLY WAYS AND YOUR STALWART BANK ACCOUNT.
SHE LOVES YOU VERY DEVOTEDLY
WITH HER WHOLE, SIMPLE HEART,
GOD BLESS HER.
GOODBYE, ETHEL.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?
NOT A THING.
ORMAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
WHEN YOU DO, SAY IT TO HER IN A CANADIAN MOONLIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, MR. HALLOWAY.
GOOD NIGHT, CAPTAIN.
GOOD NIGHT.
ALL OVER?
YES.
WHERE TO NOW?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHY, YOU'RE BLEEDING. YOU'VE BEEN SHOT. WHAT'S HAPPENED?
ARE YOU HURT BAD, MR. ORMAN?
WHO DID IT? WHY, YOU'RE SOAKED!
CAN YOU TALK, MR. ORMAN?
YES, YES. STOP YELLING.
WHY, THEY SHOT YOU.
YEAH. SPOILED MY NEW SUIT.
FINEST SUIT I EVER HAD.
IT'S MY FAULT.
I PUT IT ON THE WRONG DUMMY.
I'LL GET A DOCTOR.
NO, ST. LUKE'S HOSPITAL.
STEP ON IT.
REMEMBER, AN ACCIDENT.
NO PUBLICITY.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO SPOIL MY SCENE.
HA HA.
I WAS SUPERB.
AND THAT GUY SAID THIS SUIT WOULD BRING YOU GOOD LUCK.
AHH...
PERHAPS IT HAS.
YES! YES!
WAIT A MINUTE AND I'LL GET YOU AN ASPIRIN.
GOOD MORNING, EDGAR.
OH, IT'S YOU, LUTHER. HELLO.
IS IT, UH...
IT'S ALL RIGHT TO COME IN. MR. WILSON'S STILL ASLEEP.
LOOK OUT FOR BROKEN GLASS.
WHAT HAPPENED AROUND HERE?
MR. WILSON GETS MARRIED TONIGHT.
OH, OF COURSE IT'S TONIGHT.
WAS THE BACHELOR DINNER HERE?
IT JUST AS WELL HAVE BEEN.
MR. WILSON BROUGHT BACK SOME FRIENDS AFTERWARDS
FOR A NIGHTCAP.
HA. THEY SEEMED TO HAVE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE
GETTING ONE TO FIT.
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO THE LIVING ROOM?
THE GENTLEMEN WERE USING IT AS A STADIUM.
THEY THOUGHT IT BEST
TO PLAY SEVERAL QUARTERS OF A YALE-HARVARD GAME.
HA HA HA HA.
THESE WERE THE GOAL POSTS.
DID ONE OF THEM FALL ON YOU?
OH, THIS? THAT OCCURRED
WHEN THE GENTLEMEN DECIDED TO PUT ME IN
THE LAST FEW MINUTES OF PLAY.
A SCRIMMAGE?
NO, THEY GAVE ME THE BALL
AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF RUNNING THE WRONG WAY.
THAT'S DANGEROUS.
I KNOW THAT NOW.
MR. WILSON PERSONALLY TACKLED ME.
HE WAS AN ALL-AMERICAN.
A TRIPLE THREAT.
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING THAT?
HERE, TO YOU - THE VERY THING TO WEAR TO THE WEDDING.
MR. WILSON HAS HIS OWN TAIL COAT.
YOU MIGHT LIKE TO WEAR IT
AS A MARK OF RESPECT FOR YOUR EMPLOYER.
ANY RESPECT I HAVE FOR MR. WILSON
CAN BE EXPRESSED BY WEARING SHORTS.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I NEED $10.
I THOUGHT I COULD LEAVE THIS AS HOSTAGE
UNTIL I GET PAID SATURDAY.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT IT.
THIS IS MR. ORMAN'S COAT.
YES, BUT HE DOESN'T NEED IT IN THE HOSPITAL.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
SOMETHING OF A PERSONAL NATURE.
ISN'T IT A BEAUTIFUL COAT?
MMM, YES.
DO THEY MAKE ALL THESE COATS WITH HOLES IN THEM?
HOLES? MUST BE A MOTH.
PRETTY BIG MOTH.
MR. ORMAN ALWAYS HAS THE BEST OF EVERYTHING.
YES, INCLUDING .32 CALIBER MOTHS.
NOW, SEE HERE, EDGAR,
EITHER YOU LOAN ME THE $10 AND KEEP THE COAT,
OR YOU DON'T. THERE'S NO NEED TO QUIBBLE.
I'M NOT. I HAVEN'T TIME TO QUIBBLE OR NOT TO QUIBBLE.
ANOTHER INTERRUPTION.
EDGAR, FOR THE SAKE OF OUR LONG FRIENDSHIP...
EDGAR, I SAY FOR THE SAKE OF OUR LONGSTANDING FRIENDSHIP-
ALL RIGHT. BUT OUR LONGSTANDING FRIENDSHIP ENDS
IF YOU'RE NOT HERE ON SATURDAY WITH THOSE 10 BUCKS.
THANK YOU, EDGAR. THANK YOU. GOODBYE.
GOODBYE- OH, I SAID HELLO.
OH, GOOD MORNING, MISS DIANE.
UH, WELL, YES, MR. WILSON IS HERE-
DON'T GO ANY FARTHER. I KNOW THAT TONE.
IT MEANS MR. WILSON IS STILL ASLEEP.
YES, UH...
STOP MUMBLING. JUST REACH OVER AND VERY FIRMLY PRESS THE BUZZER.
WELL, WHO CARES ABOUT HIS HEAD?
OH.
HELLO?
OH, HELLO, BABY. HOW ARE YOU?
AND WHO ARE YOU?
ONLY THE GIRL YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY.
NOW, GET UP, DARLING.
YOU HAVE A LUNCHEON DATE WITH ME, REMEMBER?
I TAKE IT BY THAT GARGLING SOUND YOU DO.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S 11:25, THE DAY IS TUESDAY,
THE MONTH IS SEPTEMBER, THE LARK'S ON THE WING,
AND I'VE GOT A DATE TO BE MARRIED TONIGHT.
YES, DARLING. WELL, I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE.
GOODBYE.
ASLEEP AT THIS TIME OF THE DAY.
MARK MY WORDS- A GROOM THAT SLEEPS
MEANS A BRIDE THAT WEEPS.
THAT'S A HAPPY THOUGHT FOR MY WEDDING DAY.
HELLO, ELLEN.
HELLO.
AH, DIANE, MARRIAGE STINKS.
THAT'S ANOTHER HAPPY THOUGHT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, ELLEN?
OH, EVERYTHING. MY HANDKERCHIEF IS SOAKING WET.
GET ONE OF MINE. A TOWEL WOULD BE MORE PRACTICAL.
HA HA HA HA.
THIS IS NOTHING TO JOKE ABOUT.
I'M MISERABLE.
I'M GOING TO DIVORCE JIM.
HE KNOWS I'VE ALWAYS HATED WOMEN WITH RED HAIR.
OH, THERE'S A WOMAN WITH RED HAIR.
THAT'S A RELIEF FROM THE USUAL MENTAL CRUELTY.
HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE HAS RED HAIR?
I FOUND A COMB STAINED WITH HENNA
IN THE POCKET OF HIS TAIL COAT.
SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE REAL RED HAIR.
AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN HIS TAIL COAT POCKET?
WHAT WAS I DOING? NOTHING. I-
DID YOU FALL IN?
I HAPPENED TO BE LOOKING FOR SOME STAMPS.
THE POST OFFICE IS TOO FAR AWAY?
DO THEY USUALLY CARRY STAMPS IN THEIR TAIL COAT POCKETS?
YOU'D BE SURPRISED WHAT THEY KEEP THERE. ONCE JIM-
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LONG STORY. I'VE GOT TO GET DRESSED.
COME TO HARRY'S WITH ME.
I'M TOO GLOOMY TO GO ANYWHERE.
THIS IS MY WEDDING DAY.
YOU'LL BE THE "SOMETHING BLUE"
THAT BRINGS GOOD LUCK TO THE BRIDE.
I'LL TELL MR. WILSON YOU'RE HERE.
DON'T WAKE HIM ALL THE WAY UP.
I JUST WANT HIM TO LOOK AT ME FOR A SECOND.
HE'LL HAVE DOUBLE VISION AFTER HAVING THIS.
WHAT'S THAT?
UM, A HEALTH DRINK.
JUDAS!
WHAT'S IN IT BESIDES EMBALMING FLUID?
TABASCO SAUCE, SPIRITS OF AMMONIA,
RED PEPPER, BRANDY, AND, UH, A JIGGER OF MILK.
I SUPPOSE IT'S THE MILK THAT PACKS THE WALLOP?
I'M SURE IT IS, MISS DIANE.
OH, ELLEN, CHEER UP.
HOW CAN I BE CHEERFUL
WHEN I KNOW WHAT I KNOW ABOUT JIM?
WELL, IN A WAY,
IT DOES SERVE YOU RIGHT.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE LOOKING IN HIS POCKETS.
YOU NEVER LOOK IN HARRY'S POCKETS?
THE SUBJECT HASN'T COME UP YET.
WHEN IT DOES, I ASSURE YOU-
WELL.
WELL, WHAT?
THE SUBJECT'S COME UP, DEAR.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
BECAUSE YOU TRUST HARRY IMPLICITLY, I SUPPOSE?
EXACTLY.
MM-HMM.
I WISH I'D HAD THIS CHANCE BEFORE I'D MARRIED JIM.
THINK OF THE TIME IT WOULD HAVE SAVED ME.
THINK OF THE TIME IT MIGHT SAVE YOU, IF YOU LOOK.
WHY, THAT'S A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY ABOUT HARRY.
LISTEN, YOU'D BE LOOKING THIS VERY MINUTE
IF YOU WEREN'T AFRAID I WAS RIGHT.
I DON'T THINK YOU ARE. YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
UH-UH.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SHOW YOU.
STAMPS. UH, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
I DON'T SEE WHY HARRY
CAN'T KEEP STAMPS IN HIS TAIL COAT IF HE WANTS TO.
THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST MAILING LETTERS AFTER 9:00.
A HATCHECK.
NOTHING INCRIMINATING ABOUT THAT, EITHER.
LOTS OF MEN TAKE THEIR HATS OFF INDOORS.
A HANDKERCHIEF.
STOP TELLING ME WHAT EVERYTHING IS.
I KNOW A HANDKERCHIEF WHEN I SEE ONE.
HOLD IT UP.
NOT EVEN A TRACE OF ANY LIPSTICK.
KEEP ON.
CIGARETTES,
MATCHES,
AND...
13 CENTS.
YOU CAN SEE I'M MARRYING HIM FOR HIS MONEY.
KEEP GOING.
THERE'S NO PLACE ELSE TO GO.
OH, YES, THERE IS. THE MOST CRITICAL POCKET OF ALL.
THIS IS WHERE I FOUND THE COMB.
REALLY, ELLEN, THIS IS GETTING...
LOOK, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
OH, IT'S JUST A BILL.
HAVE THEY STARTED PUTTING PERFUME ON BILLS?
IF THEY HAVEN'T, IT'S HIGH TIME THEY STARTED.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T. IF YOU WON'T, I WILL.
"MY PASSIONATE LION."
YOU THINK I MADE IT UP?
I COULDN'T MAKE THAT ONE UP.
HERE, LET ME SEE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
"MY PASSIONATE LION."
SOMEBODY OUGHT TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER ABOUT HER SPELLING.
THEY'RE USING TWO Ss IN PASSIONATE THESE DAYS.
NEVER MIND. GO ON.
"ALL DAY LONG I COULD FEEL YOU STALKING ME AGAIN.
"I COULD ALMOST SEE YOUR GLEAMING EYES
"AND FEEL YOUR HOT BREATH ON MY NECK.
I COULD EVEN HEAR THE SOFT THUD OF YOUR PAWS -"
THE LION'S GOT ON RUBBER HEELS.
WHO'S IT FROM, DIANE? WHO'S IT FROM?
IT'S SIGNED "SQUIRREL."
SO HELP ME, IT'S SIGNED THAT WAY.
OH, YOU POOR DARLING.
"OH, MY LION, MY LION,
EVERY MOMENT THAT YOU'RE AWAY FROM ME IS ETERNITY."
DON'T STAND THERE. GO OUT AND STOP THEM.
STOP THEM FROM WHAT?
FROM READING THAT LETTER.
WELL, HOW?
ANY WAY YOU CAN. INVENT SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
TELL THEM THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE.
HELLO, GEORGE? DROP EVERYTHING AND GET OVER HERE RIGHT AWAY.
EVERYTHING'S THE MATTER.
IF YOU EVER RAN INTERFERENCE FOR ME, RUN IT NOW!
"OH, MY LION, I LOVE YOUR STRENGTH AND YOUR GENTLENESS.
I LOVE THE WAY YOU ROAR WHEN... "
EXCUSE ME, MISS DIANE, I THINK... SOMETHING'S BURNING.
I KNOW, EDGAR. IT'S ME.
YEAH, BUT... WHAT?
WELL, GO TO THE CLEANERS AND GET IT.
YOU'RE NO GOOD TO ME WITHOUT A TAIL COAT.
I HAVE A TAIL COAT.
YES. IN THE KITCHEN. HERE?
EDGAR, YOU'RE A DREAM BOY. GEORGE, FORGET EVERYTHING BUT SPEED.
IT'S THE FOURTH DOWN. WE'VE GOT TO PUNT.
"OH, MY PASSIONATE LION,
"MY ECSTASY IS ALMOST UNBEARABLE.
"THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THE MINK HAS JUST ARRIVED.
"IT IS HERE ON THE BED BESIDE ME,
SLEEK AND WARM LIKE... "
BABY, WHERE ARE YOU?
GOOD MORNING, DARLING.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
WELL, WHAT-
HELLO, ELLEN. HOW ARE YOU?
I'M IN MISERY, AND I THINK I'VE GOT COMPANY.
WHO COULD BE MISERABLE ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY LIKE THIS?
HA HA HA HA.
WELL, ISN'T IT A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
GREAT FOR STALKING.
I THINK I'D BETTER BE GOING.
OH, NO, DON'T GO.
YOU'RE DYING TO BE ALONE.
OH, NO, WE'RE NOT- I MEAN, UH,
WON'T YOU STAY FOR LUNCH?
NO, THANK YOU, HARRY.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS YOUR LAST LUNCH TOGETHER,
BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED, I MEAN.
GOODBYE, DARLING.
GOODBYE.
GOODBYE, HARRY, YOU BEAST.
KING OF BEASTS.
HMM? HA HA HA HA.
YOU'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO ME.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, LOST IN THE DARKNESS OF THE JUNGLE?
JUNGLE?
* JUNGLE BELLS, JUNGLE BELLS *
* JUNGLE ALL THE WAY *
* LA LA LA LA **
MAYBE THIS CAN MAKE THINGS A LITTLE CLEARER FOR YOU,
MY PASSIONATE LION.
REMEMBER, THIS IS HIS TAIL COAT.
MY TAIL COAT IS HIS TAIL COAT.
CORRECT.
HIS TAIL COAT IS MY TAIL COAT.
PERFECT.
AND HIS LETTER...
IS MY LETTER.
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT.
WELL?
WELL-WELL-WELL- WELL-WHERE DID-
YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHERE IT CAME FROM-
YOUR TAIL COAT POCKET.
OH, DIANE, I DON'T-I DON'T-
HARRY, STOP NOT FINISHING SENTENCES. LET'S FACE IT.
FACE WHAT?
THE LION IN HIS DEN.
ANYBODY HOME?
GEORGE!
HELLO, GEORGE!
HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU?
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE THIS TIME OF THE DAY?
YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER THAT.
HELLO, DIANE.
HELLO, GEORGE.
OH, AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING?
TO COIN A PHRASE, YES.
WELL, THAT'S A FAIR ANSWER.
AT LEAST YOU'RE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT I'M IN THE ROOM.
THAT'S MORE THAN SHE GENERALLY DOES, HARRY.
BUT YOU WAIT TILL I TAKE THAT PERSONALITY COURSE.
WELL, GOODBYE, KIDS.
HEY, GEORGE, DON'T GO.
I'LL BE BACK LATER.
DON'T BE AN IDIOT. DON'T EVEN THINK OF GOING.
WHY DID YOU COME IN THE FIRST PLACE
IF YOU'RE GOING RIGHT AWAY?
OH, IT'LL KEEP.
WHY KEEP ANYTHING? COME ON, GEORGE.
TELL US WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT AFTER THAT FOOTBALL SCRIMMAGE LAST NIGHT,
I PUT ON THE WRONG TAIL COAT.
YOU DID WHAT?
I WORE YOUR TAIL COAT HOME BY MISTAKE
AND CAME TO GET MINE.
BEST MAN'S GOT TO HAVE HIS OWN TAIL COAT, YOU KNOW.
THERE IT IS THERE.
NOW, YOU SEE?
GEORGE, SAY THAT AGAIN.
I WORE HARRY'S TAIL COAT HOME BY MISTAKE.
YOU MEAN-YOU MEAN, UH, UH,
THIS IS YOUR TAIL COAT?
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE IT TO ME. YEAH. IT IS.
CERTAINLY. THAT'S RIGHT.
OHH.
MY CIGARETTES AND MATCHES.
GEORGE!
MY HANDKERCHIEF.
HATCHECK.
GEORGE...
ARE YOU SURE THIS IS YOUR TAIL COAT?
I KNOW MY OWN TAIL COAT WHEN I SEE IT.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT LAST NIGHT.
WELL, I WASN'T EXACTLY SHARP AS A ROWBOAT LAST NIGHT.
BESIDES, HARRY AND I ARE ABOUT THE SAME SIZE...
EXACTLY. WE'RE EXACTLY THE SAME SIZE.
WHY, YES, YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU?
HA.
AND THE SAME BUILD, TOO.
EXCEPT I THINK THAT...
GEORGE'S SHOULDERS ARE JUST A TINY BIT BROADER.
HEH HEH.
HA HA.
HARRY, WHY DON'T YOU RUN AND PUT YOUR PANTS ON?
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
A SHAVE WOULDN'T HURT, EITHER.
NO, IT CERTAINLY WOULDN'T.
A NICE, CLEAN SHAVE LIKE GEORGE HAS.
WELL, GO ON, GO ON.
ALL RIGHT, I WILL.
KEEP DIANE COMPANY FOR ME, GEORGE.
SURE.
ATTA BOY. THAT'S THE BEST FRIEND
A MAN EVER HAD, DIANE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING THAT FOR?
JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT
MAKE YOU FEEL A LITTLE MORE AT HOME.
IT SEEMS TO HAVE THE OPPOSITE EFFECT.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT FOR?
HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN ME BEFORE?
NO, I DON'T THINK I HAVE.
AT LEAST NOT IN THIS PARTICULAR LIGHT.
AAH! HA HA!
AHH.
WHAT ARE YOU LURKING BEHIND THAT TABLE FOR?
WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER BEEN ALONE WITH A LION.
LION?
ME?
WELL, THAT'S WHAT THE SQUIRREL CALLS YOU,
ISN'T IT?
SQUIRREL?
YEAH.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE FORGOTTEN HER ALREADY!
OH!
SQUIRREL.
YES, OF COURSE.
LITTLE SQUIRREL.
GEORGE, I'M SURPRISED AT YOU.
I'M KIND OF SURPRISED MYSELF.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY DIFFERENT
FROM WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE LIKE.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU THOUGHT I WAS LIKE ANYTHING.
YES, I DID.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIM.
YES, THAT'S THE WORD. DIM.
I THOUGHT YOU STAYED HOME NIGHTS
AND SOLVED CHESS PROBLEMS,
YOU KNOW, 'MATE IN THREE AND THAT SORT OF THING.
BUT NOW...
NOW YOU DON'T THINK I'M DIM?
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE DIM.
AND THERE ISN'T ANY CHESS.
AND YOU CERTAINLY HAVEN'T ANY PROBLEMS.
OH, YES, I HAVE.
LIONS DON'T HAVE PROBLEMS.
LIONS ARE FREE AND UNINHIBITED.
I CAN SEE YOU NOW
AS EVENING FALLS...
MOVING SILENTLY THROUGH THE JUNGLE
ON YOUR SOFT PAWS.
YOU DO?
SHH.
YOUR EYES ARE GLEAMING.
YOUR MANE IS SHAKING
AS YOU GO STEALTHILY ALONG.
FINALLY, YOU GET THERE.
WHERE?
STOP INTERRUPTING. YOU'LL GET THERE.
I CAN SEE YOU AT THE DOOR.
NO, I CAN'T SEE YOU AT THE DOOR.
DO YOU KNOCK OR RING THE BELL?
JUST SMASH THE DOOR DOWN.
BUT DOESN'T IT HURT?
I BROKE MY SHOULDER ONCE,
BUT IT WAS ONLY A SCRATCH.
TELL ME, GEORGE,
WHAT DO YOU TWO TALK ABOUT?
WE JUST CHAT ABOUT...
CURRENT EVENTS.
DON'T YOU ROAR
LIKE SHE SAYS YOU DO?
OH, THAT.
YES, NATURALLY, A LION ROARS.
GEORGE, WILL YOU ROAR NOW?
NO.
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.
AW, GEORGE, COME ON. PLEASE.
JUST FOR ME.
NO. I'D FEEL SILLY.
AW, GEORGE, PLEASE?
WELL...
RROW.
THAT'S NOT A LION. IT'S A PEKINESE.
OH.
RRROW!
OH...
YOU'RE SCARED NOW, HUH?
OH, I'M NOT SCARED.
DON'T BE SILLY.
I MEAN...
THIS IS-THIS-
AW, NOW WAIT.
JUST A MINUTE.
LIONS CAN BE TAMED, TOO.
HMM.
GO ON BACK.
BACK.
COME ON, BACK.
BACK.
HA HA HA.
BACK. COME ON. BACK, BACK, BACK.
BACK.
DOWN.
THERE. THAT'S A GOOD LION.
OH, WE LIONS HAVE OUR GENTLE MOMENTS.
MMM?
AND THE LION SHALL LIE DOWN WITH THE LAMB
AND ALL THAT.
MM-MMM.
NO?
THE LION SHALL LIE DOWN WITH THE SQUIRREL
AND ALL THAT.
OH.
THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES, ISN'T IT?
AND THE SQUIRREL SHALL LIE DOWN WITH THE... MINK.
IT'S KIND OF A NOAH'S ARK ARRANGEMENT.
OH, NOAH WAS LATE IN THE RUN.
THIS GOES ALL THE WAY BACK TO ADAM.
WERE THERE SQUIRRELS IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN?
MM-HMM.
THAT'S PROBABLY WHY EVE LEFT.
THAT'S A PRETTY CYNICAL THING
FOR A YOUNG WOMAN TO SAY.
AND WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SAY?
OH, MY LION, EVERY MOMENT AWAY FROM YOU
SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNITY.
IS THAT BETTER?
SWELL.
WELL, YOU OUGHT TO LIKE IT. SHE WROTE IT TO YOU.
OH.
TELL ME ABOUT HER, GEORGE.
WHAT'S SHE LIKE?
WELL, SHE'S...
SHE'S...
SHE'S LOVELY.
YOU KNOW, SITTING THERE LIKE THAT,
YOU LOOK A LOT LIKE HER.
I DO?
YES. SAME LONG LASHES,
SAME LITTLE NOSE,
SAME SUNLIT HAIR.
SAME LAUGHING EYES.
BUT I DON'T WRITE LETTERS.
I WISH I DID.
IT MUST BE FUN TO WRITE THINGS LIKE-
STRANGE HOW YOU'RE GIVING ME THOUGHTS
I'VE NEVER HAD BEFORE...
HOW BEING NEAR YOU
IS NOT LIKE BEING NEAR ANYONE ELSE.
THAT'S THE BEST PART OF THE LETTER.
HUH?
HOW W KNOWING YOU...
IS DIFFERENT FROM KNOWING ANYONE ELSE
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
IS THAT RIGHT, GEORGE?
IT'S PERFECT.
I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.
WOULD YOU... LIKE TO HEAR WHAT I WROTE HER?
YES, I'D LOVE TO.
YOUR VOICE IS LIKE
A SUNRISE...
LIKE A GARDEN IN BLOOM...
LIKE A BIRD AGAINST THE SKY.
DO MORE, GEORGE.
WHY DON'T YOU BE KIND
AND SET ME FREE?
OR WHY DON'T YOU BE KINDER
AND HOLD ME FOREVER AND EVER?
YOU DON'T MIND MY QUOTING THAT, DO YOU?
OH, NO. OF COURSE NOT.
IT-IT'S WONDERFUL.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE
CAUGHT EACH OTHER'S MOOD... EXACTLY.
YES.
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE DO THAT SOMETIMES...
IN LETTERS, I MEAN.
BRUSH YOUR LIPS ACROSS MY CHEEK,
MY DEAR.
IS THAT FROM THE LETTER?
OH, NO. OUT OF MY HEAD.
I JUST WANTED TO HEAR
WHAT IT WOULD SOUND LIKE.
SOUNDED WONDERFUL.
LET'S SEE WHAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE.
I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD
TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS.
LETTER?
NO. HEAD.
THERE WAS DARKNESS FOR A LONG, LONG TIME,
AND SUDDENLY THE LIGHT CAME,
AND THE LIGHT WAS YOU.
LETTER?
HEAD.
DARLING...
NOW AND FROM THE BEGINNING.
HEAD, DIANE.
THESE MOMENTS WE HAVE
ARE OURS FOREVER.
LETTER?
THESE MOMENTS WE HAVE-
HEAD?
HEART.
GEORGE.
HOW DO PEOPLE KNOW WHEN THEY'RE REALLY IN LOVE?
WELL... FIRST I GUESS
THEY FIND OUT THEY LIKE TO BE TOGETHER,
AND THEN THEY FIND OUT THEY KIND OF THINK THE SAME THINGS.
THEN I GUESS AFTER A WHILE,
THEY GET SO THEY EVEN SAY THE SAME THINGS
AT THE SAME TIME.
AND THAT'S THE WAY YOU KNOW?
WELL, I'M JUST GUESSING.
WELL, YOUR GUESS WOULD BE MY GUESS, TOO.
IT MUST BE WONDERFUL WHEN- IT MUST BE WONDERFUL WHEN-
LIKE THAT. LIKE THAT.
GEORGE.
I'VE WAITED A LONG TIME.
BUT NOW...
NOW...
YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY HARRY.
AND, ACCORDING TO CUSTOM,
MAY THE BEST MAN KISS THE BRIDE.
THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.
HE ISN'T HERE.
THIS IS AN EMPTY APARTMENT.
THERE'S NOBODY HERE. NOBODY...
IN-IN-INCLUDING ME.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, EDGAR.
I'LL WAIT.
HE WON'T BE HERE AT ALL.
MISS GRAY, HE'S GONE TO CHICAGO-
UH, F-FOR THE NIGHT.
I SEE. HE'S IN CHICAGO,
AND THE WEDDING'S IN NEW YORK!
WHY ARE MY LETTERS SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE?
TO MAKE THE ROOM LOOK LIVED IN?
SHE FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE.
I'LL SHOW HIM HE CAN'T TREAT ME THIS WAY.
SHE HATES FLOWERS.
AND FRUIT, TOO.
GEORGE, STOP HER! SHE DOESN'T LIKE CHAMPAGNE EITHER.
SQUIRREL! OH, HO HO!
HAVE WE MET?
SQUIRREL!
SHE HAS A VERY BAD MEMORY.
SO I SEE.
WHAT THE-
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT THE!
GETTING MARRIED WITHOUT TELLING ME!
SHALL I THROW A FIT, SIR?
I CAN EXPLAIN THE WHOLE THING. YOU SEE-
NEVER MIND, GEORGE. IT'S UP TO ME NOW.
I'M SORRY, BUT I PUT GEORGE ON THE SPOT.
HIS TAIL COAT REALLY ISN'T MY TAIL COAT-
IT'S NOT REALLY MINE. IT'S EDGAR'S.
IT'S LUTHER'S. NO, NOT LUTHER'S TAIL COAT.
IT'S MR. ORMAN'S TAIL COAT,
AND HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL.
JUST A MINUTE. IT'S BETTER IF NOBODY EXPLAINS ANYTHING
TO ANYBODY.
HERE'S YOUR LETTER, SQUIRREL.
AND HERE'S YOUR RING...
HARRY.
<i>AND HERE'S MY LION.
YE-YE-BUT-
YOU EVER WANT ME TO HELP YOU OUT AGAIN, HARRY,
JUST LET ME KNOW.
RRROW!
IT'S GOT A HOLE.
WE KNOW.
QUESTION IS, HOW MUCH?
WITH THE HOLE.
WELL, $7.00.
$7.00.
FOR THAT COAT?
COME ON, EDGAR.
JUST A SECOND.
LET ME TAKE IT OVER TO THE LIGHT.
FIND ANYTHING YOU LIKE?
THANK YOU. YES. JUST LOOKING.
$7.00, AND YOU SAID AT LEAST 25.
I SAID WE'D SPLIT ALL OVER 10, DIDN'T I?
OVER 10, YES.
YOU'RE HERE TO ENSURE THAT.
WELL, HERE YOU ARE.
$10, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
WE'LL TAKE IT.
I'LL TAKE IT. COME ON.
UH, GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.
MY, WHAT A FINE COAT.
IT WOULD BE NICE FOR MY HUSBAND.
YOUR HUSBAND A WAITER?
OH, NO. HE'S NOT A WAITER.
HE'S A GREAT MUSICIAN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M PAYING YOU FOR?
MUSIC, NOT MURDER.
GOOD MUSIC, GET IT?
MR. WALTER,
I- I-I MUST-
I DEFINITELY MUST GO OUT FOR HALF AN HOUR.
KEEP PLAYING.
I- I-I-
I CANNOT CONDUCT SLEEPWALKERS.
I CANNOT RAISE THE DEAD!
I CANNOT!
I WILL NOT!
BACK TO 26, GENTLEMEN.
YOUR E-FLAT IS FLAT, MISTER.
WOULD YOU OBLIGE ME BY NOT REWRITING THE SCORE.
THAT NOTE IS SHARP.
YES! YES!
YOU PLAY EVERYTHING AS IT IS WRITTEN!
EVERY NOTE LIKE ROBOTS-
WITHOUT LIFE!
WITHOUT FEELING!
BUT THEY ARE NOT JUST NOTES!
THEY ARE NOTES WRITTEN FROM THE BRAIN
FROM THE HEART!
MUSIC WITHOUT FEELING IS NOISE!
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
CAN'T YOU READ?
JUST LOOK AT THE FOURTH NOTE
AFTER NUMBER 35!
WHAT DO YOU SEE? TRIPLETS!
AS IN TRIPLETS!
ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, THIS IS TOO MUCH.
WE'LL PROCEED IN HALF AN HOUR.
YOU NEED A REST. SO DO I.
PHOOEY!
TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE.
COME ON, CHARLIE. LET'S GO.
COME ON NOW, WILL YOU?
COME ON.
Wait.
WHAT IS IT?
EXCUSE ME, MAESTRO, BUT SMITH IS HERE.
WHAT SMITH?
CHARLES SMITH THE COMPOSER, THE MAN I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
WHEN?
FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS.
YOU PROMISED TO SEE HIM TOMORROW.
THIS ISN'T TOMORROW.
BUT THAT WAS YESTERDAY.
THAT'S WHEN YOU TOLD ME TOMORROW,
AND THAT IS TODAY.
SORRY. NO TIME.
BUT, UH, MAESTRO, THE MAN IS A GENIUS...
A MASTER.
OH, NO, MAESTRO.
I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF STRAVINSKY AS THE MOST, UH...
NO.
WORTHY OF YOUR DISTINCT CONSIDERATION.
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
PLAY.
YEAH.
MARVELOUS!
CUBBY, DID YOU DO IT?
I DID IT! I DID IT!
OH!
WHAT DID HE SAY, DARLING?
HE KISSED ME ON EACH CHEEK.
OH! DIRTY PIG.
WHEN IS HE GOING TO PLAY IT?
I'M GOING TO CONDUCT IT MYSELF.
WE REHEARSE TWO WEEKS, STARTING TOMORROW.
THE SCHERZO FLOORED HIM.
I HARDLY WONDER.
HE CAME RIGHT OVER TO ME WITH HIS EYES SHINING.
"SMITH," HE SAID, "YOU'RE A GENIUS."
HE'S GOING TO PRESENT ME TO THE PUBLIC HIMSELF.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
I HAVE THE GREAT HONOR TO PRESENT MR. SMITH
AT THE CARNEGIE HALL.
OH.
GOOD HEAVENS, 8:00! WE'VE GOT TO RUSH.
MAMA, IT'S CHARLIE'S BIG NIGHT.
OH, MY BABY.
CHARLIE, YOU CAN'T CONDUCT THE SYMPHONY IN THAT.
TAILS AND WHITE TIE.
BUT HE HASN'T GOT A TAIL COAT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE!
I SHOULD HAVE?
I'VE GONE CRAZY THINKING OF EVERYTHING-
OH! WHY, CUBBY, DARLING,
I CAN GET YOU A TAIL COAT.
I KNOW JUST WHERE.
NOW, YOU TWO RUN ALONG.
I'LL BRING EVERYTHING TO THE DRESSING ROOM.
ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
OH, HURRY, PLEASE, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
ALL RIGHT, MADAM, NOW WHAT SIZE IS YOUR HUSBAND?
HERE. HERE IT IS.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOUR HUSBAND'S A MUSICIAN, ISN'T HE?
YES.
OH.
LET'S SEE NOW.
THERE YOU ARE.
THAT'LL FIT LIKE A GLOVE.
UGH!
IT'S TOO SMALL.
OH, DEAR.
AND THERE'S A HOLE IN IT. LOOK.
NO ONE WILL SEE IT.
YOUR CUE, MR. SMITH!
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT, DARLING.
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE DINING OUT TONIGHT, BUBBLES.
HERE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
MR. CHARLES SMITH.
SHH!
WHAT?
Your sleeve is torn in the back.
CONTINUE.
PLEASE.
HA HA HA!
I BET YOU KNOW SOMEBODY WHO'S DOWN ON THEIR LUCK.
INDEED I DO.
GIVE THEM THAT, WILL YOU?
OH, THANK YOU, SIR.
OH, IT'S A TAIL COAT.
NO, NO, NO. THAT'S A RABBIT'S FOOT.
GOOD NIGHT!
BLESS YOU!
COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A RABBIT'S FOOT TO YOU?
HMM? RABBIT'S FOOT?
LOOKS MORE LIKE THE REAR END OF A MILLION DOLLARS.
HA HA HA!
THERE ARE THE KEYS.
OH, SHUT UP.
PLEASE.
HELLO, FOLKS!
IF THOSE ARE BILLS, KEEP GOING.
I'VE GOT TO DELIVER THEM,
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO OPEN THEM.
ANY MAIL FOR ME, DAD?
NO VALENTINES.
WILL YOU SHUT UP?
MOLLY, WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
GOODBYE.
HUH? OH, GOODBYE.
COME AGAIN.
"AVERY L. BROWNE."
AVERY L.?
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE THAT COULD BE LARRY?
"BLACKSTONE HOTEL, CHICAGO."
MIGHT BE AT THAT.
HE SHOW UP LAST NIGHT?
NO. PROBABLY UP TO HIS OLD TRICKS.
FANCY WAY TO SPELL "BROWNE," WITH AN "E."
YES.
I THINK I'D BETTER GO AND SEE.
DON'T FORGET TO LOCK UP.
OH, NO.
HELLO.
HELLO, HELLO.
GO AWAY.
LARRY.
IS THIS YOURS?
NO.
WELL, IF YOUR STOMACH GETS TO GNAWING,
DROP AROUND.
HERE.
GIVE IT TO ME.
WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR?
GO ON. READ IT.
THAT'S WHAT YOU BROUGHT IT HERE FOR, ISN'T IT?
"CLASS OF 1917, UNIVERSITY...
"25th ANNIVERSARY DINNER AT THE WALDORF-ASTORIA,
8:00, OCTOBER 5th. "
WELL, THAT'S TODAY.
"URGE YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LOVE
"WE ALL BEAR FOR OUR ALMA MATER
"TO BE WITH US,
<i>H.B. HANK BRONSON."
HANK.
"FORMAL DRESS."
WHISKEY.
THERE YOU ARE.
OH. I FIGURE THIS WILL PUT ME ON MY FEET AGAIN.
SURE. SURE. GO RIGHT AHEAD.
GOT A CIGARETTE?
NO.
HERE. HAVE ONE OF MINE.
GO AHEAD.
OH.
THANK YOU.
YOU'VE BEEN AROUND HERE ABOUT FIVE YEARS NOW, LARRY.
SIX.
AND EVERY DAY FOR SIX YEARS,
YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GOING UPTOWN,
GETTING ON YOUR FEET AGAIN, AWAY FROM ALL THIS,
BUT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO NEED ONE MORE DRINK
TO GET YOUR NERVE UP.
MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT UP,
SOMEDAY YOU MIGHT REALLY GO.
YEAH, WELL, I... I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
OH, SURE, YOU DO.
AND I DON'T WANT ANYBODY PREACHING AT ME.
DID I EVER SAY NOT TO TAKE IT?
IF YOU NEED ANOTHER, HAVE ONE. I'LL BUY.
HERE.
LARRY, THEY TELL ME THEY GOT A MIGHTY GOOD COOK AT THE WALDORF.
WHY DON'T YOU GO?
OUGHT TO BE A NICE PARTY.
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO GET UPTOWN AGAIN,
AND I DON'T MEAN NORTH OF 14th STREET.
I MEAN NORTH OF YOURSELF.
OH, LARRY, YOU'VE SEEN ENOUGH OF GUTTERS
AND FLOPHOUSES AND HANGOUTS.
MAYBE IF YOU GOT YOUR FEET UNDER A TABLE AGAIN FOR A SPELL,
ORDERED A THICK STEAK, SLEPT IN A CLEAN BED,
TALKED YOUR OWN LANGUAGE,
YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT IN THERE PUNCHING AGAIN.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WHAT IS IT, A COSTUME PARTY?
YOU WANT ME TO GO AS J.P. MORGAN?
I WANT YOU TO GO AS AVERY L. BROWNE,
AVERY L. BROWNE WITH AN "E."
HEH.
IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR LOOKS,
THAT'S IN MOLLY'S DEPARTMENT.
WE JUST GOT A DRESS COAT IN THIS MORNING,
PROBABLY SENT RIGHT FROM HEAVEN.
PETE, WILL YOU SHUT UP?
REALLY OUGHT TO HAVE PATENT LEATHERS, BUT-
I THINK THOSE BRITCHES ARE LONG ENOUGH.
I DON'T BELIEVE ANYBODY WILL NOTICE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HIM A REGULAR SHIRT.
THEY COST $1.75.
I DON'T CARE.
SUPPOSE THAT RIDICULOUS WHATCHAMACALLIT, UH...
DICKEY, MOTHER.
SUPPOSE IT POPS OUT?
IT WON'T IF HE KEEPS HIS VEST BUTTONED.
THEY CALL THEM WAISTCOATS UP WHERE LARRY'S GOING.
THERE YOU GO, LARRY.
PUT THAT ON.
A NICE PIECE OF GOODS, MOTHER.
IT MUST HAVE COST A PRETTY PENNY.
FEEL THAT SILK.
MMM!
YOUR WAISTCOAT, MR. BROWNE.
THERE. THAT OUGHT TO HOLD A MAN OF YOUR SIZE,
IF YOU DON'T EAT TOO MUCH.
WHY, YOU'D THINK IT WAS MADE FOR YOU,
ALMOST.
ALL RIGHT, LARRY. LET ME SEE IT.
OH, THAT'S FINE.
GIVE HIM THE HAT, MARY.
PUT IT ON.
ALL RIGHT.
PERFECT!
OH, UH...
HERE, LARRY.
HERE'S WHAT WAS LEFT IN THE BOX.
IT'S ENOUGH FOR A COUPLE OF DRINKS,
OR IT'LL TAKE YOU UPTOWN.
GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, MR. BROWNE.
WAIT.
THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
GOOD NIGHT.
* COME JOIN AND CHEER THE ALMA MATER *
* OUR GUIDING STAR *
* TO LIVE THE DAYS OF HOPES AND JOYS AND *
* SING THE SONGS ONCE MORE *
* FRIENDSHIP OF COLLEGE DAYS *
* SHALL NEVER, NEVER PASS *
* COME JOIN AND CHEER THE ALMA MATER *
* SING THE SONGS ONCE MORE **
HEY, WHO'S THAT?
WELL, IF IT ISN'T LARRY BROWNE!
YOU OLD SON OF A- HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?
WELL, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER GET HERE.
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
HEY, FELLAS, LOOK WHO'S HERE...
LARRY Y BROWNE IN PERSON.
HELLO, BROWNE!
WELL, YOU JUST MADE IT.
WHAT KEPT YOU, LARRY?
WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED.
HELLO THERE.
HOW ARE YOU?
HI, EBB.
HA HA!
SOUPY HALES.
HA HA! LARRY BROWNE.
YOU OLD ROOSTER, I COULD KISS YOU.
HA HA HA!
SAY, YOU'VE LOST A LITTLE WEIGHT.
I DIDN'T REALIZE IT MYSELF
UNTIL I GOT INTO THIS COAT TONIGHT.
HAVEN'T THEY BEEN FEEDING YOU RIGHT?
OH, NO. JUST HARD WORK, MY BOY, JUST HARD WORK.
YOU OUGHT TO TRY IT SOMETIME.
HELLO, LARRY!
HELLO, LARRY, HOW ARE YOU?
HEY, WAITER, HOW'S ABOUT A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR BROTHER BROWNE TO WET HIS WHISTLE WITH?
HE'S WAY BEHIND!
WHAT'LL IT BE,
SOME OF MRS. WALDORF'S CHAMPAGNE,
OR WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SOMETHING WITH HAIR ON ITS CHEST?
I NEVER TOUCH IT.
I ALWAYS SERVE IT, BUT NEVER TOUCH IT MYSELF.
O.K., PAL, BUT DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?
JUST HOLD IT.
NOW, DON'T FORCE YOURSELF!
JUST HOLD IT.
HA HA HA!
WHOA! DON'T WASTE IT.
THAT'S PRECIOUS STUFF.
WE'VE GOT TO CONSERVE.
WELL, IF YOU DON'T DRINK, YOU CAN STILL EAT.
WAITER, ANOTHER PLATE!
NO, THANK YOU, BUT I JUST ATE ON THE PLANE.
WHAT PLANE?
I JUST FLEW IN FROM THE COAST.
YOU'VE BEEN IN CALIFORNIA ALL THIS TIME
AND DIDN'T LOOK ME UP?
I JUST PASSED THROUGH. UH... I'VE BEEN IN CHINA.
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN INTERESTING.
SEE ANYTHING OF THE FIGHTING?
A LITTLE.
WHEREABOUTS IN CHINA?
ALL OVER, FROM CHOP SUEY TO CHOW MEIN.
SAME OLD LARRY. BOY, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.
LARRY, COME HERE.
I WANT TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOU.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
GOING TO BE IN TOWN LONG?
OH, JUST A FEW DAYS
TILL I SEE HOW THE LAND LIES.
HAVEN'T GOT YOURSELF TIED UP YET, HAVE YOU?
NOT EXACTLY, BUT-
DON'T. I'VE GOT A JOB THAT'S RIGHT DOWN YOUR ALLEY.
WELL, I NEVER TURNED DOWN A CLIENT YET.
TAX MATTER.
JUST MY MEAT.
CAN YOU BE AT MY OFFICE TOMORROW AT 9:30?
I PLANNED ON-
MEET MY PARTNER McREYNOLDS,
GET AN IDEA OF THE SETUP.
IF IT'S A QUESTION OF MONEY,
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.
WHERE ARE YOU?
40 WALL STREET.
WELL, I'LL BE THERE.
GOOD.
I SEE YOU'RE STILL LATE TO CLASSES.
PROFESSOR LYONS.
YES?
THIS ABOVE ALL, TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE,
AND IT MUST FOLLOW, AS THE NIGHT THE DAY,
THOU CANST NOT BE FALSE-
<i>NOT THEN BE FALSE! NOT THEN!
ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO REWRITE MR. SHAKESPEARE?
WELL, NOT THEN BE FALSE TO ANY MAN.
RIGHT. HA HA!
HOW ARE YOU, MY BOY?
FINE, SIR.
YOU?
I'M ALWAYS FINE.
COMES WITH HAVING A CAST IRON STOMACH AND NO AMBITION.
OH, YES.
I JUST GO ON VEGETATING YEAR AFTER YEAR,
LIKE THE IVY ON THE OLD CHAPEL.
YOU REMEMBER IT?
WHILE YOU PROSPEROUS LAWYERS AND DOCTORS
AND BIG TIME FINANCIERS
LEAP FROM ONE TRIUMPH TO THE OTHER,
GETTING RICH...
AND FAT...
FAT, ANYHOW.
SOMETIMES I CONFESS I ENVY YOU BOYS.
THEN AGAIN, I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S RATHER FUN TO SIT WITH THE OTHER STICK-IN-THE-MUDS
AND WATCH THE PARADE GO BY,
SEE YOU BOYS BEAT THE DRUMS
AND BLOW THE BIG BASSOONS
WHILE WE TAKE ALL THE CREDIT.
IT'S BEEN 25 YEARS NOW, PROFESSOR.
HERE WE ARE AGAIN.
MUST SEEM LIKE A LONG TIME TO YOU BOYS.
I REMEMBER WE WERE GOING TO LICK THE WORLD.
YEAH. SAVE IT FOR DEMOCRACY.
SHOW THE OLDER GENERATION
WHAT WE'D DO WITH THEIR MESS.
WE WERE YOUNG, FULL OF VINEGAR, REMEMBER?
I WAS THINKING OF THAT TODAY,
LOOKING AT MY CLASS IN ENGLISH I.
THEY'RE KIDS, LIKE YOU WERE.
OH, A LITTLE BRIGHTER, PERHAPS.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
THEN I THOUGHT, "WELL, THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED THE WORLD MUCH.
"COME RIGHT DOWN TO IT,
THEY HAVEN'T DONE SO BADLY, EITHER."
TOM, YOU'VE MADE A PRETTY GOOD JUDGE, EVERYTHING BEING EQUAL.
THANK YOU.
JOHN, YOU'VE CUT OUT A LOT OF APPENDIXES IN YOUR TIME
AND BEEN OVERPAID FOR IT, TOO.
LARRY HERE'S BEEN IN CHINA.
NOW THAT'S QUITE AN ACHIEVEMENT IN ITSELF.
FARTHEST I EVER GOT WAS PUGET SOUND ONE SUMMER.
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN, OH, 40 YEARS AGO.
I'VE LIVED ON THE MEMORY OF IT EVER SINCE.
YES, YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILIES.
YOU'RE DOING YOUR JOBS,
AND YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.
WHEN YOU GET AS OLD AS I AM,
YOU'LL DISCOVER THOSE ARE THE THINGS
THAT REALLY SPELL SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS.
DING-A-LING A- LING A-LING!
HEY, PROF, DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE BELL RING?
THAT MEANS CLASS IS OVER.
WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS SINGING AND DRINKING TO DO.
DON'T LET ME STOP YOU.
I NEVER COULD.
COME ON, FELLAS. NOW GET READY.
OH, HEN, MY BOY,
HOW ABOUT GIVING LARRY
ONE OF YOUR NICE LITTLE OLD CORONA CORONAS
BEFORE WE START.
YOU KNOW, THE GUY MUST HAVE SOME VICES.
SORRY. I JUST HAD TO ORDER SOME MORE.
HANK HERE TOOK MY LAST HANDFUL.
YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING THESE DAYS
TO SELL INSURANCE WITH, BESIDES PERSONALITY.
HELLO, BROWNE.
HELLO, WILLIAMS.
DID SOMEBODY SAY YOU'D BEEN DOWN IN CHINA?
THAT'S RIGHT.
LONG?
OH, UH, QUITE A WHILE.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
OH, SAME OLD STOMPING GROUNDS, CHICAGO.
SHALL I PUT IT ON THE BILL, SIR?
NO, THIS IS MY TREAT.
THERE YOU ARE, BOYS. HELP YOURSELF.
THE CHAMPION FUMBLER.
LET ME GET IT. LET ME GET IT.
NO, THIS IS ON ME.
FUNNY. I'M SURE I HAD IT WHEN I CAME IN.
LOSE YOUR WALLET? LOCK THE DOOR, SOMEBODY!
DON'T ANYBODY LEAVE THIS ROOM!
A CRIME'S BEEN COMMITTED.
WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN IT, ANY GOOD ADDRESSES?
NO. I HAD CONSIDERABLE MONEY IN IT.
I'M RUNNING DOWN TO WASHINGTON TOMORROW.
I CASHED A CHECK BEFORE LEAVING THE OFFICE.
DON'T WORRY. WE'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
<i>I DON'T LISTEN TO FRED ALLEN'S MIGHTY ART PLAYERS
FOR NOTHING.
ME ONE LONG PAN DETECTIVE, TOO.
UH, KEEP YOUR PLACES, EVERYBODY!
WE'VE GOT TO RECONSTRUCT THE CRIME.
WHO WAS STANDING NEXT TO YOU, HENDERSON?
OH, LARRY THERE, I BELIEVE.
OH, BROWNE, EH?
SPLIT WITH ME, KID, AND I'LL GET YOU OUT OF IT.
WAIT. YOU WERE STANDING NEXT TO HENDERSON, TOO.
THAT'S RIGHT, BUT YOU SAT NEXT TO HIM AT DINNER.
SURE.
GENTLEMEN, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
SEARCH EVERYBODY!
THANK YOU, MR. DETECTIVE.
I DON'T THINK THAT'LL BE NECESSARY.
I THINK IT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA, ALL IN FUN.
DON'T YOU, BROWNE?
I INSIST ON BEING SEARCHED.
ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF THIS MONKEY SUIT.
I HAVEN'T WORN THIS SINCE I WAS MARRIED.
DO WE HAVE TO TAKE OFF OUR PANTS, TOO?
WHAT'S THE MATTER, BROWNE?
WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR?
COME ON, LARRY. LET'S SLIP OUT OF IT.
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME.
YOU'RE GOING TO GET TOUGH, EH?
HERE'S WHERE I'LL TACKLE
THE BEST TACKLE FOR HIS WEIGHT WE EVER HAD.
CUT IT OUT! GET AWAY FROM ME!
COME ON, FELLAS. LET'S GET IT OFF HIM!
IT'S STILL A FREE COUNTRY.
YOU CAN'T FORCE A MAN TO TESTIFY AGAINST HIMSELF.
NOT IN MY COURT.
COURT! THERE'S AN IDEA!
WE'LL HOLD COURT.
WE'LL PUT IT TO THE JURY TO DECIDE.
YOU GUYS OVER THERE, YOU BE THE JURY.
12 GOOD MEN AND TRUE.
GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, TAKE YOUR PLACES.
I'M GOING TO SIT RIGHT HERE.
WILLIAMS, YOU'RE A BIG SHOT AMBULANCE CHASER. BE D.A.
I SHALL BE DELIGHTED,
UNLESS BROWNE WOULD PREFER ME AS A CHARACTER WITNESS.
JUDGE, YOUR HONOR, YOU'RE IN SESSION.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'LL IT BE WORTH FOR ME TO DEFEND YOU?
THE JOKE'S GONE FAR ENOUGH.
LET'S GET BACK TO OUR SINGING.
THE PRISONER COULD EASILY PUT A STOP TO IT
BY PERMITTING HIMSELF TO BE SEARCHED.
CLEAR THE WITNESS BOX.
GENTLEMEN, I DECLARE THIS COURT TO BE IN SESSION.
YOU WILL NOW PROCEED, MR. PROSECUTOR.
YOUR HONOR...
GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,
IN VIEW OF THE CIRCUMSTANTIAL NATURE
OF THE EVIDENCE IN THIS CASE,
THE STATE WILL BE COMPELLED TO CALL INTO QUESTION
THE CHARACTER OF THE PRISONER AT THE BAR
AND WILL ENDEAVOR TO PROVE
BY THE TESTIMONY OF EYEWITNESSES
THAT THE CULPRIT, BY HIS PAST CONDUCT,
HAS PLACED HIMSELF BEYOND THE PALE OF DECENT SOCIETY.
IS HE ON THE LEVEL?
ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!
SIT DOWN, EVERYBODY,
OR I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT!
YOUR WITNESS, MR. BROWNE.
IT'S UH... IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, YOUR HONOR.
MY LEARNED COLLEAGUE AND I
WERE JUST GIVING YOU A LITTLE IDEA
OF HOW WE CONDUCTED OUR CASES IN CHICAGO.
EH, WILLIAMS?
GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO ME
TO BE HERE TONIGHT
WITH MY OLD FRIENDS OF THE CLASS OF 1917.
I DON'T MIND TELLING YOU
I THOUGHT OF YOU MANY TIMES.
OH, BOY. I SURE WISH I'D KNOWN THAT.
I GOT A LITTLE POLICY MADE TO ORDER FOR YOU.
HOWEVER, THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.
WHAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN IS TO HEAR MY ANSWER
TO THIS CHARGE THAT'S BEEN BROUGHT AGAINST ME.
FRANKLY, I WISH I'D COME PREPARED
TO MAKE A BETTER DEFENSE.
BUT, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
SPEECHMAKING WAS THE LAST THING
IN MY MIND TONIGHT.
WHAT I REALLY CAME FOR WAS TO, UH...
WELL, YOU MIGHT SAY
I WAS CHASING A WILL-O'- THE-WISP.
AND FOR A WHILE THERE,
I THOUGHT PERHAPS I'D FOUND IT.
ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MY OLD ROOMMATE
SOUPY DAVIS AND PROFESSOR LYONS.
BUT I EXPECT I DIDN'T.
KNOW WHY? YOU'RE TOO SOBER.
LIKE ME.
MY DEFENSE, SUCH AS IT IS,
BEGINS ON THE DAY WE GRADUATED,
A DAY IN JUNE 1917.
IT LEADS FIRST TO AN ARMY TRAINING CAMP,
THEN OVERSEAS.
THE ARMISTICE, HOME AGAIN, CHICAGO.
THE LAW.
NOTHING VERY UNUSUAL ABOUT THAT.
NOR I'M AFRAID ABOUT THE NEXT CHAPTER
IN THE LIFE OF ONE WHO, AS YOU RECALL,
JUST BARELY NOSED WILLIAMS OUT
AS THE MAN YOU VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED.
A GIRL, MARRIAGE, A HOME,
AND A SUCCESSION OF THREADBARE CLIENTS
WHO ALWAYS SEEMED TO BE GUILTY,
BUT WHO NEVER SEEMED TO HAVE THE FORESIGHT
TO STEAL ENOUGH TO DISPROVE IT.
MY WIFE...
YOU-YOU-YOU REMEMBER HER, WILLIAMS.
I OUGHT TO.
I INTRODUCED HER TO YOU AT THE SENIOR PROM.
PROBABLY ONE OF THE FEW MISTAKES YOU EVER MADE.
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
OH, MAGNIFICENT WOMAN,
WHO HAD EVERY REASON
TO EXPECT ALL THE THINGS SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD
IF SHE'D MARRIED...
SOMEONE ELSE.
OH, SO THAT'S WHAT STARTED YOU PICKING POCKETS, HUH?
<i>CHERCHEZ LA FEMME.
THE JURY WILL DISREGARD THAT REMARK,
AND I FINE YOU ONE HIGHBALL.
THEN A WONDERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL THING HAPPENED.
PROHIBITION.
THAT NOBLE EXPERIMENT OF BLESSED MEMORY
CAME TO DWELL AMONG US.
NOWHERE, I ASSURE YOU,
WAS IT GREETED WITH SUCH OPEN ARMS AS CHICAGO.
ALMOST OVERNIGHT, BUSINESS BEGAN TO PICK UP.
MY CLIENTS-
YOU REFERRED ONE OF THE FIRST TO ME, YOUR HONOR. THANK YOU.
MY CLIENTS, WHILE NO LESS LIKELY CANDIDATES
FOR THE JUG THAN FORMERLY,
WERE SUFFICIENTLY WELL-HEELED BY NOW
TO BE REGARDED AS THE VERY PILLARS OF OUR COMMUNITY.
FORTUNATELY FOR ME,
THEY WERE BOTH GENEROUS AND GRATEFUL.
I CONFESS, FOR A LITTLE WHILE,
I SAW MYSELF GETTING STINKING RICH.
BUT THE CATCH IS, YOUR HONOR, IT DIDN'T LAST.
WHAT DOES, LARRY?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
A GOOD MANY THINGS.
FRIENDSHIP...
GOOD FELLOWSHIP...
ISN'T THAT WHY WE'RE HERE TONIGHT?
ALL THE THINGS PROFESSOR LYONS WAS TALKING ABOUT.
YOU, UH...
YOU BELIEVE THAT, DON'T YOU, WILLIAMS?
OH, WITH ALL MY HEART.
BUT AS I WAS SAYING,
WITH THE ADVENT OF PROHIBITION,
TOO MANY OF MY CLIENTS BEGAN TO FILL UNTIMELY GRAVES.
WHILE MORE AND MORE OF THE OTHERS
BEGAN TO DISPLAY A PRISON PALLOR.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR A PRETTY FANCY TIGHTROPE PERFORMANCE,
I MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN HERE MYSELF TONIGHT.
THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT.
AS IT TURNED OUT IT WAS A SIMPLE CASE OF DISBARMENT,
HARDLY WORTH A MENTION,
<i>NOT EVEN IN THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE.
YOU GOT THE BENEFIT OF EVERY DOUBT.
YES. THANKS TO YOU, THE GRIEVANCE COMMITTEE OF THE BAR ASSOCIATION
WAS VERY GENEROUS.
WE WANTED TO SPARE YOUR WIFE AND FAMILY.
UNFORTUNATELY MY WIFE DIDN'T SEE
THE FULL HUMOR OF MY PREDICAMENT-
A LOSS OF IDEALS, PROFESSOR LYONS WOULD CALL IT-
AND ON ADVICE OF COUNSEL,
QUITE RIGHTLY DECIDED IT HAD ALL BEEN A GHASTLY MISTAKE
ABOUT WHICH THE LESS SAID THE BETTER.
AFTER ALL, WHO WAS TO BLAME HER?
SHE WAS STILL YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL.
I REALIZED I HAD BEEN FORTUNATE TO HAVE KNOWN HER AT ALL.
AS FOR ME,
THERE WAS REALLY NOTHING LEFT TO HOLD ME,
SO I JUST DRIFTED AROUND.
FIRST ONE PLACE, THEN ANOTHER,
UNTIL FINALLY I HAD THE VERY GOOD FORTUNE
TO SETTLE DOWN IN CHINA...
CHINATOWN.
LARRY.
HA HA HA!
PUT ONE OVER ON YOU, DIDN'T I,
ABOUT COMING IN ON A PLANE TONIGHT?
HAD YOU GOING, TOO, SOUPY, ABOUT TAKING THAT TAX JOB.
OH, WELL, WHY NOT?
THE WHOLE THING'S A JOKE.
I MEAN MY BEING HERE AT ALL.
I HADN'T GIVEN IT A THOUGHT UNTIL THIS MORNING
WHEN A FRIEND OF MINE,
A NICE FELLOW...
RUNS A MISSION DOWN ON DEWEY STREET-
YOU OUGHT TO DROP AROUND,
HOLD SERVICES WITH US SOMETIME.
ALL OF YOU.
HEAR SOME REAL TESTIMONIES-
MADE ME A LITTLE BET
I COULDN'T COME HERE TONIGHT
AND PULL THE WOOL OVER YOUR EYES.
I'D HAVE TAKEN HIS MONEY,
IF HENDERSON HADN'T BEEN CARELESS WITH HIS POCKETBOOK,
OR IF HANK HADN'T SUGGESTED OUR BEING SEARCHED.
I'D HAVE WALKED OUT OF THIS ROOM TONIGHT
AVERY L. BROWNE, CLASS OF 1917,
BEST TACKLE FOR HIS WEIGHT THE SCHOOL EVER HAD.
NOT ONE OF YOU WOULD'VE BEEN THE WISER,
EXCEPT WILLIAMS, OF COURSE,
AND HE NEVER WOULD'VE LET AN OLD CLASSMATE DOWN,
WOULD YOU, WILLIAMS?
SORRY, JUDGE, BUT I'M AFRAID
I HAVEN'T GOT ANY DEFENSE AFTER ALL.
I'M JUST THE KIND OF GUY
WHO WOULD STEAL HENDERSON'S POCKETBOOK.
SO I PLEAD GUILTY.
OF COURSE, YOU HAVEN'T ANYTHING AGAINST ME
BUT CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE,
BUT I KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THE LAW
TO THINK I'D GET A CLIENT WITH MY RECORD
OFF THAT EASILY.
IT LOOKS AS IF MY ONLY CHANCE
IS TO FOLLOW WILLIAMS' ADVICE,
TAKE OFF MY COAT, LET YOU SEARCH ME,
AND THROW MYSELF ON THE MERCY OF THE COURT.
I FOUND YOUR WALLET IN THE CAR, SIR.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED IT.
OH, THANK YOU.
WILL YOU SHUT UP, PLEASE?
JOE, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
LARRY, HOW WAS IT? DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
MUST'VE BEEN SOME PARTY
TO KEEP YOU OUT TILL MORNING.
THE PARTY'S OVER.
HERE'S YOUR J.P. MORGAN OUTFIT.
LARRY!
HERE, MOTHER. HERE'S YOUR RABBIT'S FOOT.
TAKE IT ACROSS THE STREET TO SANTELLI BROS.
MAYBE YOU CAN GET ENOUGH ON IT TO BUY RABBIT STEW.
EXCUSE ME. DOES LARRY BROWNE LIVE HERE?
YES. WON'T YOU COME IN?
MY NAME'S BRONSON. HANK BRONSON.
HOW DO YOU DO?
THIS IS JUDGE BARNES AND MR. DAVIS.
LARRY HAD AN ENGAGEMENT WITH ME FOR 9:30.
I'M PICKING HIM UP.
SO HE WOULDN'T BE LATE FIRST DAY ON THE JOB.
JOB?
SURE. HE'S GOING TO WORK FOR ME NOW.
WELL, UH, YOU BOYS HAD SUCH A PARTY LAST NIGHT,
I SUPPOSE HE'S DUE TO OVERSLEEP A LITTLE.
WELL, COULD WE, UH...
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL HAVE HIM THERE ON TIME.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
HE KNOWS THE ADDRESS?
YES, 40 WALL.
THANK YOU.
GOODBYE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THIS NOW?
TAKE IT TO SANTELLI BROS.
IT'S DONE ITS JOB HERE.
NOW MAYBE IT'LL HELP SOMEBODY ELSE.
"SANTELLI BROTHERS- SECONDHAND CLOTHING."
THEY WON'T EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO LOOK AT ME.
QUIET. I'LL HANDLE THE JOB.
YOU STICK IN THE CAR.
I'LL SLIP IN WHEN THEY OPEN THE DOOR.
YOU GOT TO WEAR MONKEY TAILS TO GET IN.
IT'S STRICTLY A PARK AVENUE LAYOUT.
COME ON. HURRY UP.
TAKE IT EASY. WE GOT TILL 10:00.
WE GOT A HOT CAR.
THE GUY WILL FIND IT'S BEEN SNATCHED
AND START SQUAWKING.
SHUT UP.
OH, I'M A FRIEND OF MR. REED PATTON'S.
GOOD EVENING, SIR.
EVENING.
GOOD PLAY TONIGHT?
YES, SIR.
PLACE YOUR BETS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
STICK 'EM UP!
AAH!
NOT A BAD TAKE, ABOUT 50 Gs.
WHAT ABOUT THE PLANE?
IT'S WAITING. SLIP THE PILOT 2 GRAND
AND NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
YOU'LL BE IN MEXICO CITY TOMORROW.
MEET ME THERE NEXT WEEK.
DITCH THE CAR, NOT TOO CLOSE TO THE AIRPORT.
WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?
HEAVEN.
HA HA HA!
SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
CAN'T YOU SEE THE LIGHTNING
PUT THE MARK OF THE LORD ON THIS THING?
I AIN'T ASKING WHERE IT COME FROM OR WHY,
BUT IT COME AT THE RIGHT TIME-
THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
HALLELUJAH.
PRAISE THE LORD!
I BEEN PRAYING FOR THAT BRINDLE COW
EVER SINCE I BEEN MARRIED.
GLORY! PRAISE THE LORD!
THE LORD'S DONE BEEN HERE AND GONE.
I'M GONNA BUY ME A TRACTOR,
ONE OF THEM RED ONES,
WITH A BRAND-NEW ENGINE
A- HUMMIN' AND A-SHININ' IN THE SUN.
I'M GONNA BUY ME TWO TRACTORS.
THREE TRACTORS.
A BIG PIECE OF BOTTOM LAND, SEEDS,
AND A GREAT BIG HOUSE.
YOU GOT TO PRAY FOR THINGS LIKE THAT.
YOU AIN'T NEVER PRAYED FOR NOTHIN' IN YOUR LIFE.
I WISHED FOR PLENTY, 'CEPT MAYBE I DIDN'T BEND MY KNEES.
WISHIN' AIN'T PRAYIN'. IT AIN'T OURN TO KEEP.
IT'S SINFUL TO HAVE SO MUCH MONEY.
REVEREND LAZARUS - HE'S THE MAN OF GOD ON THIS PLACE.
HE'LL KNOW WHAT'S ON THE LORD'S MIND.
LET'S TAKE ALL THAT MONEY TO HIM.
HE'LL TELL US WHAT TO DO.
IF YOU PRAYEYED FOR A TRACTOR,
AIN'T IT UNDERSTOOD YOU PRAYED FOR LAND, TOO?
WELL, LUKE, HAVE YOU BEEN SINNIN' AGAINST THE LORD AND THE LAW?
LOOK MIGHTY LIKE SIN FROM UP HERE.
DOES THE SHERIFF KNOW ABOUT THIS?
THIS AIN'T NO SIN, REVEREND LAZARUS.
THERE'S TOO MUCH GOODNESS IN IT.
HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKIN'?
ESTHER SAYS THE LORD SENT THIS MIRACLE
FROM HEAVEN ITSELF,
RIDIN' ON THE WINDS OF LIGHTNIN'.
I AIN'T THE ONE TO ARGUE WITH HER.
THAT SURE IS A POWERFUL MIRACLE.
I HEARED A HEAP OF PRAYIN'
BUT NEVER SEEN THE LORD PASS NO MIRACLE.
THAT'S BLASPHEMIN', REVEREND.
SHUT YOUR MOUTH, NICODEMUS!
WHO'S THE PREACHER 'ROUND HERE?
OR IS YOU?
I AIN'T SAYIN' THE LORD DIDN'T PASS THIS HERE MIRACLE.
HEY!
YOU CERTAIN THIS COAT COME FROM UP THERE
AND NOT FROM DOWN THERE?
SMELL MORE LIKE THE DEVIL THAN THE LORD.
I RECKON MOSES DIDN'T STOP TO FIGURE HOW THE DEVIL
SENT THE MANNA TO THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL.
HE KNOWED THE LORD SENT IT
'CAUSE HE BELIEVED IN THE LORD!
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS- MANNA FROM HEAVEN.
LORD DONE GONE AND DONE IT AGAIN.
PRAISE THE LORD!
HALLELUJAH!
WHAT YOU AIMIN' TO DO WITH THAT MONEY?
THIS HERE'S A MIRACLE, AIN'T IT?
I GOT TO PUT IT AWAY UNTIL I FIGURE IT OUT.
I ALREADY GOT IT FIGURED OUT.
IT'S AN ANSWER TO ALL THEM THAT'S PRAYED,
ADDED UP TO THE LAST PENNY.
WELL, HALLELUJAH!
I PRAYED FOR A HORSE AND BUGGY
AND LAST NIGHT WHEN THE STORM BLEW,
I PRAYED FOR A NEW ROOF.
I RECKON I PRAYED ABOUT $100 WORTH.
WATCH OUT. DON'T FORGET, REV,
THE LORD IS COUNTING RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU.
YOU MEAN HERE IN THIS ROOM?
I RECKON I JUST WISHED FOR THAT HORSE AND BUGGY
AND DIDN'T GET AROUND TO PRAYIN' FOR IT.
THIS IS THE MOST UPSETTIN'EST MIRACLE I EVER HEARD OF.
THE LORD'S DONE SENT THIS AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT
TO ALL FOLKS IN THIS HERE PLACE!
EVERYBODY CALL OUT TO WHAT THEY PRAYIN' FOR!
I'LL SURE WELCOME THAT TRACTOR.
WHAT YOU PRAYS FOR AND BELIEVES IN YOU GETS!
<i>MATTHEW 21:22.
BLESSED AM THE POOR, FOR THAT'S ALL THEY GET.
HEY, REVEREND, DON'T THAT SAY,
"BLESSED AM THE POOR... IN SPIRIT"?
COMES TO THE SAME THING.
WHEN YOU'S POOR, YOU'S POOR ALL OVER.
THAT SURE ME, ALL OVER.
OUR PRESENTS! DEFINITE!
YOU RIGHT, SISTER ESTHER,
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
EVERYBODY ACCORDING TO HIS PRAYING,
AND WE'S THE DEPUTIES OF THE LORD.
HEY, AIN'T THAT SOMETHING? HALLELUJAH.
WHAT DID YOU PRAY FOR, SISTER ESTHER?
OH, I PRAYED FOR THAT BRINDLE COW.
WELL, THE LORD'S ALLOWING YOU ABOUT $60 FOR THAT.
THANK YOU, LORD.
WHAT DID YOU PRAY FOR, OLD BROTHER LUKE?
I WANTS A TRACTOR, A RED ONE,
SO MIGHTY BAD I KNOWS THE LORD
AIN'T LETTING NO PRAYERS STAND BETWEEN US.
MAYBE LUKE DON'T PRAY OFFICIAL-LIKE,
BUT THE LORD KNOWS THERE'S A LOT OF GOODNESS IN HIM.
I AGREES. I BEEN WISHING FOR A TRACTOR MY-
I SAID WISHING, NOT PRAYING, SISTER ESTHER.
WELL, LOOKED IT UP IN A CATALOG,
AND THE PRICE REVEALED IS $798.
HERE YOU ARE, LUKE.
I PRAYED FOR A SLINGSHOT.
THAT'S A WEAPON OF THE DEVIL.
HE PRAYED FOR IT, HE GETS IT.
WELL... HERE'S $1.00 FOR A SLINGSHOT.
MAY THE LORD GUIDE YOUR HAND.
I PRAYED FOR NEW SHOES.
HERE'S $2.00 FOR SHOES. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I PRAYED FOR A BLANKET WITH NO HOLES.
$3.00 FOR A BLANKET FOR CHRISTMAS.
I PRAYED FOR SHOES AND STOCKINGS.
HERE'S $4.00 FOR SHOES AND STOCKINGS.
I PRAYED FOR A NEW WAGON.
$2.00 FOR THE WAGON.
WE PRAYED FOR GOOD VITTLES.
HERE'S $2.00 APIECE FOR GOOD VITTLES.
THIS IS THE BUSIEST DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
MY PAPPY PRAYED FOR A NEW PLOW.
TELL YOUR PAPPY THE LORD'S GOT HIS PLOW READY.
MY PAPPY NEED A NEW PAIR OF PANTS.
HE DONE PRAYED AND HOLLERED.
TELL YOUR PAPPY THE LORD'S WAITING
TO FIT THE PANTS ON HIM.
SHH! SHH! SHH!
CHILDREN, HEARKEN TO ME! RUN AND SHOUT THE WORD
THAT LORD HAS SENT DOWN A MIGHTY FINE CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYBODY.
TELL PEOPLE TO COME A-RUNNIN'.
PRAISE THE LORD!
* I GOT SHOES, YOU GOT SHOES *
* ALL GOD'S CHILDREN GOT SHOES *
* WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN *
* GONNA PUT ON YOUR SHOES... **
PA, LOOK!
MA, LOOK! EVERYBODY, LOOK!
THE LORD SENT DOWN MORE MONEY
THAN YOU EVER SEEN BEFORE.
PA! MA!
GRANDPA! YOU KNOW THAT FINE COFFIN
YOU WAS WANTING TO BE BURIED IN?
YOU CAN HAVE IT!
WHAT Y'ALL MEAN? I AIN'T DEAD YET.
I CAN SEE THAT,
BUT THAT COFFIN'S WAITING FOR YOU DOWN AT THE CHURCH.
TRYING TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME.
* I'M GONNA PRAY MY SOUL IN JUDGMENT *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* I'M GONNA PRAY MY SOUL IN JUDGMENT *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* THERE'S A GREAT DAY A- COMIN' *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
IF YOU LYIN' ABOUT THIS,
THE FIRE IN HELL WILL GET YOU BEFORE YOU'S DEAD.
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* IN THAT GREAT GETTIN'- UP MORNIN' *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* IN THAT GREAT GETTIN'- UP MORNIN' *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* IN THAT GREAT GETTIN'- UP MORNIN' *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* OH, THE PREACHER HOLD THAT BIBLE *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL... *
WHAT FOR? I NTNTS $32.
I DONE PRAYED FOR CARPENTER TOOLS.
YOU GETS 'EM.
THANK YOU, REVEREND.
WHAT FOR? I WANTS $9.75.
I DONE PRAYED FOR A BARREL OF FLOUR.
WELL, HERE'S $10.
BAKE YOURSELF SOME BISCUITS FOR CHRISTMAS
AND DON'T FORGET REVEREND LAZARUS.
I WANTS $25, SIR.
WHAT FOR?
MY COFFIN.
A MAHOGANY ONE, WITH WHEELS ON IT
SO I CAN ROLL RIGHT THROUGH THE PEARLY GATES.
PRAISE THE LORD I DONE LIVED TO SEE THIS DAY!
I CAN GIVE YOU
A POWERFUL GOOD SERVICE FOR $5.00 EXTRA
WHEN THE TIME COMES.
MAYBE WHEN THAT TIME COMES,
YOU WON'T BE HERE. HEH HEH HEH!
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* IN THAT GREAT GETTIN'- UP MORNIN' *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* IN THAT GREAT GETTIN'- UP MORNIN' *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL *
* IN THAT GREAT GETTIN'- UP MORNIN' *
* FARE THEE WELL, FARE THEE WELL... *
BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
BROTHERS...
BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
BROTHERS AND SISTERS...
THIS HERE PAPER
HAS ALL THE FIGURES TAKEN ON THIS HERE MIRACLE.
SISTER ESTHER DONE WORKED IT OUT HERSELF.
ACCORDING TO THE FIGURES, THE LORD SENT US $43,000.
NOW, THAT'S MORE MONEY THAN THERE IS IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
FURTHERMORE AND WHEREAS,
WE HAVE PAID OUT TO TRUE BELIEVERS-
WHO PRAYED FOR IT-
THE SUM OF $1,454
AND 50 CENTS,
LEAVING A TOTAL OF...
$41,545
AND 50 CENTS,
BELONGING TO ALL OF US IN THIS HERE PLACE.
HALLELUJAH!
WELL, PASS OUT THE MONEY!
A MIGHTY AMOUNT OF MONEY, FOLKS,
AND IT AIN'T GOING TO WASTE.
I SEE THE NEW CHURCH NOW-
STANDING ON THE HILL, SHINING IN THE SUN.
AND A HOSPITAL!
WE'RE BUYING THE LAND, YOU HEAR?
AND TOOLS WITH EDGES SO SHARP,
THE EARTH WILL JUMP UP TO MEET THEM.
WE'LL WORK THAT GROUND SIDE BY SIDE, RAISING CORN AND COTTON.
AND WHAT WE GETS, WE SHARES.
WON'T BE NO RICH AND NO MORE POOR.
YES, FOLKS, A NEW DAY IS DAWNING.
STOP!
STOP, Y'ALL!
WE DONE FORGOT POOR OLD CHRISTOPHER.
BUT HE AIN'T THE PRAYING KIND.
HOW COME YOU KNOW THAT?
THAT'S SOMETHING NOBODY KNOWS
BUT THE LORD AND POOR OLD CHRISTOPHER.
HE'S THE POOREST OF US ALL.
HE AIN'T GOT NOTHIN', NEVER HAD NOTHIN'.
MAYBE HE PRAYED FOR EVERYTHING.
YOU MEAN HE PRAYED FOR ALL THIS MONEY?
WE GOES AND FINDS OUT.
IF CHRISTOPHER DONE PRAYED FOR ALL THIS MONEY,
THEN HE GETS ALL THIS MONEY.
WE PRAISES THE LORD FOR WHAT HE GIVE US...
AND FOR WHAT HE GIVES POOR OLD CHRISTOPHER.
COME ON, LUKE, WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT.
GOOD MORNING, BROTHER CHRISTOPHER.
GOOD MORNING, BROTHER LUKE.
UH, BROTHER CHRISTOPHER...
HAS YOU BEEN PRAYING FOR SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS?
I'S GOT ALL I NEEDS.
WELL, BROTHER CHRISTOPHER,
IF YOU AIN'T PRAYED FOR NOTHIN'...
I GUESS I CAN-
IT DONE COME TO ME NOW.
I'S PRAYED FOR SOMETHING.
IS YOU SURE?
I SURE IS.
BUT YOU SAID YOU AIN'T.
THAT'S 'CAUSE I DISRECOLLECT.
WHAT YOU ALL PRAY FOR?
I DONE PRAYED FOR...
I SAID, WHAT YOU PRAYED FOR, BROTHER CHRISTOPHER?
WELL, BROTHER LUKE, TO TELL THE TRUTH...
LOOK.
SEE?
I DONE PRAYED FOR A SCARECROW.
SAY THAT AGAIN.
SCARECROW.
SO THAT'S WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAYS,
"THE LORD MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS."
* MAKE WAY FOR THE GLORY DAY *
* NO MORE TROUBLE AND WOE *
* THERE'S ANGELS FLYIN' FROM THE SKY TO THE JUBILEE *
* IN OUR HEAVENLY HOME *
* HALLELUJAH, WON'T YOU *
* MAKE WAY FOR THE GLORY DAY *
* GOOD TIMES COMIN' TO STAY *
* BROTHER, START JUBILEE, AND YOU AND ME IS GONNA BE *
* HIS GLORY *
* GLORY *
* DAY **
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