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It's the same, always the same!!
The gym hall is sweaty, smelly and crowded with glistening humans.
Two of those humans are a pair of the worst squash players ever!
We're the duffergirls!
Hi James, (groins in pain) Sorry sorry sorry
[♪♪♪ Music plays ♪♪♪]
Currently they are being beaten by two women called the Duffergirls!
Both of them are exhausted having trained for two years straight without getting any
better.
[♪♪♪ Music plays ♪♪♪]
A few reasons to why they aren't actually improving are because, number 1: James hasn't
done any proper training, all he does is run around and swing his racket like a dog, and
number 2: Frank has Brooke Greenburg which is a disease which inhibits certain hormones
from being creates thus the perception of him not aging.
He's got the looks of a fifteen-year-old, but the physique of a 70-year-old man.
We're so bad!
What did we do wrong?
SILENCE!!!
I'm your coach now, see you here tomorrow at seven-o'clock.
Who are you?
Oh my god, is that Jonah Barrington?
Did Jonah Barrington just hit me?
:) Dude...
But how did squash get popular?
Huuuuh...
Hi there, I'm going to talk about squash history.
So let's begin.
Squash was created 1830 at Harrow, London, England UK.
It was invented at Harrow School but later spread to other schools.
And eventually became an international sport.
At first, they used similar rackets to tennis but were modified to be smaller due to the
limited space.
So it'd be easier.
At first, the court had no set dimension but that was later implemented.
The first nation squash association was made in the US, Philadelphia 1904.
1907 tennis, racket & fives association got together to make a sub commitee to set the
standards for squash.
They later combined the three sports to make squash in America.
One of the greatest players in squash history is a man called Jahangir Khan.
Which won 555 consecutive pro matches and it is a guiness world record at that.
And also won World Open 6 times, and the British a grand total of 10 times.
He is said to be the greatest squash player in the history of squash.
Oh so that's how it became popular.
Ok... it's a good sport.
OMG!
What happened?!
It's my back, please I beg.
It's good?
Thank you, thank you I wasn't sure I was going to make it.
You got it.
Let's go.
Okay my little squashes.
If you want to be beat the duffergirls, you need to reach some points here.
I'm Jonah Barrington, your coach.
The first one you need to have the godlike bods.
You need to have a trained fitness.
And you need to have a good form when you're gonna play.
The second one, you need to hit the damn ball!
I've seen you play, you miss all the shots.
Really boys? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
And the third one, and the most important...
You need to have unfair play.
Why?
Because you're too bad!
If you don't do that you're gonna loose your game.
Do you understand me?
Okay.
Yes, yes.
Well, done.
See you tomorrow at seven-o'clock.
Goodbye, have a nice evening.
Did you lock the door?
No....
you're too stupid to open it.
[♪♪♪ Music plays ♪♪♪]
You need to hit the damn ball.
You miss all the shots.
You must train, win over the duffergirls, come on.
Do you think we're ready coach?
Yes, maybe.
We can try.
The big tournament is on Friday.
I think you'll get this boys.
I believe in you!!
Do you see anything?
No, do you?
No, I'm behind the corner.
Do you see anything?
Yes, it's them.
It's them?
Okay, lets go, lets go.
Shh, shh, let's go.
Let's go x50
*David having a mental breakdown?*
Duffergirls, do you have a moment?
We need you.
No, we have to train.
No, you can train later, come on.
Do it for the fans.
Come on.
Just a quick interview, please.
Okay one interview.
Yeh, thanks, okay lets go inside.
Okay thank you duffergirls for this once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm just thinking... how do you feel about James and Frank training day and night to
try to beat you guys?
Well, it's pretty much useless.
Yknow we're gonna easy win this game, like the easiest match of our lives.
No compression?
Now how do you feel about the current situation?
It's easy... there's no situation, it's so easy like, what can they even do?
Can they even hit the ball?
I don't know, I don't know them.
Anyway, how are the rules gonna be like, is it like the normal rules?
Uhhhhh... of course its gonna be the normal rules.
Standard squash, yknow?
Uhh, you decide the serve by coin flipping, heads or tails, and the winner gets to serve.
The server has to hit the ball to the other side from your side, so if you stand on the
left you have to hit the ball to the right side.
Dude come on, it's professional $!HT, yeah and then.
After you hit the ball, you can allow it to bounce once.
You have to hit it before it bounces twice, if it bounces twice it's finito... game over
pal.
It's over.
You can score by hitting the ball to the side wall of the back wall.
Sorry bad audio
You can score by hitting the ball to the side wall or the back wall to make it bounce to
the front wall.
After you hit the you need to move out of the way for the opponent so he can hit the
sphere if you don't it will be called a stroke and the opponents get the point.
If you try to move it's gonna 'let' and you will replay the point.
And you play a game of five sets, with 11 points each.
And uh if it becomes 10:10 for each player, it becomes a deuce and the first player to
score 2 points in a row wins.
That's pretty much all of the rules.
Thank you so much.
Thank you the duffergirls.
Have a good one.
Yeah thank you.
Good luck, good luck.
Can we go now?
Well thank you very much, this has been Channel Squash 44395hz News, and we'll be back again
next Saturday.
Thank you very much.
Coach said he would be here for the big match.
Well I don't know where he is...
My god, he let us down.
I thought he was our coach. ;(
Coach you came!
Thank god.
You're ready for this match.
You think?
I know.
I've taught you everything I know.
Yes you sure have.
You're gonna beat them.
You think?
Yes I think you're gonna beat the duffergirls.
We're gonna try.
For coach!
Good luck boys.
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