how can how can I be a gift to you at this point you're a gift to me so thank
you my girlfriend just broke up with me things just are not going well I've been
really mentally in a bad place and you know that it's been rough I mean I don't
sit here complained yeah well the funny thing is when you're saying these things
to me you seem pretty like at peace you almost you almost seem fresher than I if
I would say I've seen you in the past like you seem pretty at ease and I would
almost say it looks like the OP but you look like the opposite of what you're
telling me right now I do feel pretty good it's been a rollercoaster you know
obviously the second time what's happened okay how long have y'all been
you know I feel like if I was a better stronger man with more to offer it
wouldn't happen so this is a girl that you've been dating and she broke up this
the second time she's broken up with you like how long have you all been together
for about a year about a year okay cool why do you think she broke up with you
you know I'll tell you it's because I'm not confident I'm very insecure lately
you know I don't have a lot of money to I think that's a big thing but I can't
really express myself the way I take care of people a little bit better and
help people out express my love a little bit fuller you know okay so you said
that she would say that your controlling possessive and me
and you insist jealous and you would say that you think it's more that a little
insecure what was the very first thing you said you said something before
insecure well whatever your have gone through or whatever this experience is
doing for you I would say it looks pretty good on you I want to reiterate
that like the way you're expressing yourself seems more at ease and peace
than I've ever heard before however I will admit I do not like the way I do
not like the words you're choosing to describe your scenario but I do like how
your you are expressing it your tone the clarity so I'm wondering if there's a
refining a mental refinement going on and that this situation with the Union
girlfriend is serving you and getting more clear and I may have talked to you
about this before but it really seems as growth takes place in three steps like
awareness acceptance and action and your awareness and your acceptance of what
could be the issue on both sides of the coin is pretty profound now the action
it's time to take action it's time to like actually they almost sounded
similar like you said you think you're insecure she thinks you're possessive
those are caused by each other yes so your insecurity is probably what's
causing you to come off from her perspective as possessive I will say
this like for in this for that and I know you named many different things are
going on but in the sense of like possessiveness or jealousy I think it's
very important and like any animal any animal will teach us this any base
she'll teach that she's taught this to me multiple times like when I'm really
needy or I like want to grab her she doesn't seem nearly as interested is
when I'm like I'm here for you versus I'm here for you there was a different
thing there's a difference between I need you and I'm here for you and I'm
here for her she seems to be like hey dad but if I'm
like looking for her I'm like I want to play with you or I need you she seems to
be more like dismissive of me so I'm wondering whether it's this
girlfriend or a future girl that you're dating well first of all do you want to
date in the other women or do you want to get back to with the girl that so I
would really forget her then really it's this is the crazy thing about the word
forgetting this has been something that's been going through my mind lately
forgetting forgetting something forget it so if it's money that you think if
you think money is gonna be what gives you more confidence and open your
capacity to love forget it just forget about that because that's
probably it's probably not true it may be once you open your capacity to love
and the regardless has money then that might be when you become more of a
magnet for money so forget thinking that you need money to be a better lover in
anyway if you want to get back with your ex-girlfriend forget it and you I think
you really have I think you really get to forget her and when that and when you
really embody that vibration then she'll feel that she'll feel that rather you're
with her physically or not and she can then decide with her heart truly desires
but if you are this the attachment the possessiveness the insecurity the
jealousy the whatever I don't know if there's any specific situations you want
to talk about we're about half way over six and a half minutes in but I think
it's time for you forget it and do what your hearts call him even do like
realize that this is this is your moment this is your chance this is your
opportunity to be the best lover you possibly can and if you think your
ability to be a better lover is contingent upon things outside of you
like money then that's your issue you gotta forget the money so you can get
real with yourself
yeah this actually makes a lot of sense it seems like last time we broke up she
came back to me when I stopped talking her and I actually it's been about over
24 hours now since I just said you know what I can't I can't be any I can't be
friends or you you know I can't be anything but your romantic partner so
I'm just cutting it off again you know if it was up to her I'm sure we'd be
chatting all day and maybe I don't know you know it's just
and I I I like that honestly the I I know some people think that's like mean
or something but I I really like the idea that you um not being friends with
her I don't think we have to be friends with our ex-girlfriend I've never was
interested in being friends with my girlfriends if that mean like friends in
the sense that there's no chemistry there's no tension or there's no I think
the three C's to like a strong connection or chemistry compatibility
and communication and chemistry being the most important for a long-term
relationship to last so if I'm like for my trust forever you to say if you
decide to marry someone that the chemistry is what's guiding your way and
then the compatibility and the communication or what will keep that
crazy chemistry balanced like I'm talking like the chemistry I think
there's a strong enough chemistry where you are refusing to be your friend her
friends that's it sounds like you really you really like her you really are into
her okay so you really love her and I and I I just want to honor you that
you're able to express that to her and to me that that level of integrity so
rather than letting being nice or a peacekeeper you're being a peacemaker
for yourself in the sense that you know for you to be at peace and you're going
to be in your ex-girlfriends presence you want to be there together
romantically and if that's not what it is then you're not interested in and
torturing your heart in a way to be to look nice towards our different times in
the relationship she would be more affection
and more you know like into me more respectful to me than other times you
know and those times where she was a little distant or and it could have been
simple as she just needs a space or I don't know you know it was like that's
when I would start to be like okay like
and I want you to let go also of being weak that's not a sign of weakness like
your vulnerability is not a sign of weakness it's a sign of strength now if
you start letting your vulnerability get taken over by possessiveness that might
be more on the category of weakness but you having that feeling that's not you
being weak now when I will say the last minute here who think of what your
whining but I'm talking about the polarity the chemistry between y'all -
she sounds like a very hyper feminine woman and what I mean by that is like
let's look at the ocean i surf I think like surfing is one of the most massive
sailing or a captain of a ship is one of the most masculine roles someone can
take because they're literally immersing themselves in the ocean of emotion that
is always changing it's deep beyond our understanding no one knows how deep the
ocean is and it's always changing every day there's a tide there's in the tide
gets higher and lower every day it always changes the wind changes the
waves the the weather can change the waves it's highly changing and instead
of getting frustrated when the tide is really low or the winds are it's really
sloppy or choppy ocean a good surfer is not the one the only surfs and
conditions that are good it's like who can have a good start for my opinion is
the one that kind of the most fun and the most variety of conditions so even
if it's if it's messy and dirty and the waters murky and it's crazy can I still
go out surfing if I want to and have a good time in the ocean and then I and
then still be ready when it turns on and the waves are perfect then they're
beautiful and they just are like calling to me they're like diamonds can I be
there for both ways and I think that is someone someone that can be hold the
space for the feminine ocean to go back and forth and be full and empty in
sideways and left and right make no sense that's holding a very
masculine energy and I think you holding that masculine energy and her holding
that very going with the flow of her emotions and her life is a very feminine
energy and I bet that's when yells chemistry is a strongest so it sounds
like instead of being scared or turned off by her withdrawal by the tide coming
in this really I realize that's what's keeping your chemistry that's what's
keeping you all connected as much of a humble pie as that yeah yeah oh yeah you
the moment someone goes out there surfing they try to control the ocean
that's dangerous that's very dangerous the person that can surrender like when
the wave really overcomes them and they surrender it's easier to find the bottom
so they know which way is up if someone fights it and they're running out of
oxygen wasting their oxygen fighting something that's pretty impossible to
fight sometimes and then they they can even fight themselves into not knowing
they might not hit the bottom on the wave and they all know which way is up
or which way is down and it's just like that resistance is not the masculine
energy that'll get people to serve the best waves and have the best connections
with their girlfriends
one
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